male nursery workers!
- Thread starter Dee1985
- Start date
Nicola said:
I don't believe men should be stopped from working with kids, I never said that? I was just being honest in saying that it would worry me more than a female with my kids before they were able to talk...
I also pointed out that I knew I was being silly, so really my point of view has nothing to do with equal rights, just me being over cautious and over protective of my child. As I pointed out earlier, I am also like it with women where needs be.
As for your last comment, about wonderful dads etc, we thought we knew a good dad, turned out he was abusing his young sons. It's not always that easy to pick out the scum I'm afraid...
It would bother me I am afraid, sexist or not there would always be niggling worries that I wouldn't be able to get over.
But then having worked in day nurseries whilst at college, I am also entirely untrusting of the women who work in them. Not in the same way I would worry about a man, but in the amount of effort they put in to ensuring the safety of the children, I saw some really shocking things when I was doing it!
But then having worked in day nurseries whilst at college, I am also entirely untrusting of the women who work in them. Not in the same way I would worry about a man, but in the amount of effort they put in to ensuring the safety of the children, I saw some really shocking things when I was doing it!
evemarie8 said:
Did you watch that programme ages ago where the woman went undercover in that nursery and there was loads of abuse
I loved Kieran's second nursery, he seemed really happy there, and the woman who ran his class was so lovely!!! So little bean is definately going there for a day a week when she's old enough!!!
I know what your saying but why would it worry you? What if your LO went to school and the reception teacher was a male? Would you worry if a builder turned up to give you a quote for an extension or to fix the roof and the builder was female? Would you worry if you were feeling scared and it was a female police officer given the duty of 'guarding' you, would you feel scared if it was a female doctor, plumber etc. Women abuse children just as much as men do, there was a women (and a post made about it) who murdered her two children a fortnight or so ago, a woman was involved in the dissapearance of those two girls a year or so back, Holly and her friend, there are not so many women 'abusers' as you would first thing but the amount of women who abuse in a different form, i.e. bullying, slowely killing or making sick (often to keep sick so they feel needed) via poison or similar is alarmingly higher than men - women 'abuse' in a more 'clever' way to men - the rates for child abuse are really quite similar. I wouldn't doubt a male's ability any more than a female to be honest, a female could just as easily neglect or abuse a child in their care as a male could and if anything the men are perhaps more aware of that and even more careful if it's the profession etc they choose to enter.
Nicola said:
A male takes my 4 year old son for PE, that doesn't bother me, like I said it only worries me before they can talk. I worry about both male and females equally, BUT I have to admit for different reasons, and the thought of anyone interfering with my little boy is far worse than if he was shouted at or called names, or even pushed over. Of course the latter is far from acceptable too.
I know it is an utterly awful attitude to have, and may come across as sexist but it would always be at the back of my mind.
However, I also refused to let anyone look after LO before he could talk except my family, and very very close friends.
Nicola said:
I am sorry Nicola but it would worry me because there are to many evil people in the world. sometimes I think that the obsession with political correctness has gone too far and that peace of mind for a mother is far more important.
I personaly do feel untrusting towards nursery workers of both sexes and don't wish to send my LO to anyone other than a very close family member or friend before he can talk and communicate back to me everything that has happened in his day.
I will never feel guilty about putting my concerns for my child over the pressure these days to be PC.
i nearly lost my job once because we were taking the children swimming (5 year olds) and one of the dads said he would help, he is a well known dad helps in school all the time and was police checked so i said yes no problem and the head teacher got 6 letters of complaint that a dad had helped with swimming, it is stupid and makes me so mad, and he was a dad to one of the girls 
?? I said I felt untrusting of both sexes!?frangelle said:Nicola said:evemarie8 said:
So all the evil people in the world are men?? Interesting!
No she then went on to say she distrusts people of both sexes if you re-read her post...?
'Smelle, you keep beating me to it, I think you can type faster than me!!!!!
i am changing the subject slightly her but just wanted to tell u something that happened to my son, he was out playing in the park he would have been about 10 at the time, the park is 4 doors from my house and he came in and said that a waoman had come on the park and asked him to go to her house(there was 4 of them) and look at some ideas that they had for the park renovations and they went , it was only 30 secs away and the woman did just want the kids input on the ideas but i went mad i shouted and ranted and asked y he went and did he know what could happen and he turned round and said but she was a WOMAN mum i was mortified and i just have to say some of your comment r bringing back memories of that conversation i had with my son, sorry for the long post 
, it was only 30 secs away and the woman did just want the kids input on the ideas but i went mad i shouted and ranted and asked y he went and did he know what could happen and he turned round and said but she was a WOMAN mum i was mortified and i just have to say some of your comment r bringing back memories of that conversation i had with my son, sorry for the long post mary70 said:i am changing the subject slightly her but just wanted to tell u something that happened to my son, he was out playing in the park he would have been about 10 at the time, the park is 4 doors from my house and he came in and said that a waoman had come on the park and asked him to go to her house(there was 4 of them) and look at some ideas that they had for the park renovations and they went
That would have scared the living sh*t out of me too!! But how do you instill the fear into your children without letting them know the full horrors of what might happen. Kids just think that adults are over reacting because they have also been protected from hearing about the evil things thaty go on in the world. Where do you find the balance of what to tell them????????????????
The creche I have worked in for 4 years has male and female staff.
2 of the men that have worked there are gay and a couple of parents asked that they not change a their childs nappy and we refused.
Why does a being a man, or a gay man automatically make you a child molester?
the blokes I work with are fantastic with the kids, so funny and a lot more interactive with the kids than some of the girls.
Anyone, either male or female working with kids will be around other adults most of the time and any hint of wrong doing, would be immediatly picked up on.
The thing we need to remember is our children are in a lot more "dangerous" situations than being in a nursery with a male member of staff. What about when they are swimming, in the changing rooms? or in a shop, or when a man comes to do work on the house etc. these are the things we need to be most vigilant about, not people who are already police checked etc.
I'm not saying it's wrong to consider these things, but there are alot worse things out there IMHO.
2 of the men that have worked there are gay and a couple of parents asked that they not change a their childs nappy and we refused.
Why does a being a man, or a gay man automatically make you a child molester?
the blokes I work with are fantastic with the kids, so funny and a lot more interactive with the kids than some of the girls.
Anyone, either male or female working with kids will be around other adults most of the time and any hint of wrong doing, would be immediatly picked up on.
The thing we need to remember is our children are in a lot more "dangerous" situations than being in a nursery with a male member of staff. What about when they are swimming, in the changing rooms? or in a shop, or when a man comes to do work on the house etc. these are the things we need to be most vigilant about, not people who are already police checked etc.
I'm not saying it's wrong to consider these things, but there are alot worse things out there IMHO.
mary70 said:i dont know hun its such a s##t world we live in i'm afraid we just have to hope and pray
My feelings exactly, its not that I think anyone must be a pervert or a child abuser, I just don't ever want to take the slightest risk that they might be!?
I would rather be the most hideously over protective mother on the planet and have people ridicule me for it than be pressurised into putting my child into a position that made me feel uneasy and live to regret it.
I don't think that protective parents can be blamed for the discrimination, the blame has to lie with the evil ba$tards in the world that have done things to put doubt in our minds!
My Uncle is a Nursery Nurse and he gets so much respect from the mothers. A lot of the children he works with don't have fathers (or at least absent fathers) and he kinda takes on this roll. I think that children should have a male roll model wheather this is a nursey nurse or a father.
He does get a lot of stick about working in a nursey but he really enjoys the job and since the age of about 18 has worked with children in a cubs group.
People are checked with any work with children - i run a local youth group (Church based) and we have to be CRB checks and we even have parents who are very protective over their children who trust the men i work with.
I guess really it all comes down to what you are happiest wit.
I just this it is important to remember that some women are better at mechanics than men and some men are better at looking after children than women!
He does get a lot of stick about working in a nursey but he really enjoys the job and since the age of about 18 has worked with children in a cubs group.
People are checked with any work with children - i run a local youth group (Church based) and we have to be CRB checks and we even have parents who are very protective over their children who trust the men i work with.
I guess really it all comes down to what you are happiest wit.
I just this it is important to remember that some women are better at mechanics than men and some men are better at looking after children than women!
Actually if any nursery was asked to stop the men changing nappies and agreed to do so they would be guilty of discrimination and could be sued by the worker. This has been proved in court cases where a hospital was asked by a man not to allow a black nurse to attend to him as he was racist and didn't want her touching him. The hospital agreed (thinking they were helping the nurse avoid a situation) and were succesfully sued as their action was discrimination and supported the man's racist views.
I used that case a lot when I trained people in discrimination awareness, as it surprised so many people, but its pretty obvious when you look at it - the employer was in effect agreeing with the racist.
The same would apply for sexual discrimination.
I used that case a lot when I trained people in discrimination awareness, as it surprised so many people, but its pretty obvious when you look at it - the employer was in effect agreeing with the racist.
The same would apply for sexual discrimination.
