In tears!

[MissJuly10]

At everything!

I even got a few tears looking at piccies of nurseries in the pic gallery!

I'm so fed up, frustrated, wondering if I ovulated AT ALL this month, fed up with my cheapie tests and fed up with my stupid bugger of a cycle.

I'm also fed up with pregnant friends of mine and DH's telling us "Don't worry it's your turn next" or "Oooh are you pregnant yet?"

I'm fed up of hearing "I fell preg after missing just one pill!"... I'M NOT EVEN ON IT!!!

I didn't realise how much I wanted this to happen for us, I really thought it would be so easy to fall pregnant, pretty much all of my friends have fallen just by looking at a man. By accident!!!

I really, really admire those who have stuck with TTC for so long, I almost feel rude for complaining because I haven't been here for that long and I'm already starting to feel completely deflated.

I've had scans on my ovaries done because my doc was surprised at how irregular my cycles were - scans were fine, no probs. I also had a blood test done but I can't remember what for now, but they were fine too.

DH wants to get a proper test tonight and do it in the morning and I'm terrified that if it's BFN, it will cut him quite deep - damn these long cycles! If we get BFNs and still no period, we're going to the doctor again to have my blood tested again.

Sorry for ranting but it's one of those days where it's pouring down with rain and I feel as miserable as the weather.

 

[Lilelephant]

Hun ttc is hard no matter how long you've been doing it we r all here for u

 

[Nurse 26]

Aww hun! sorry you are feeling like this! i think everyone on here in ttc has days like this! like you i have no idea how people on here stick at ttc for so long! they are amazing! and much stronger than me.

I can sympathise with the long cycle thing, this year my cycles have been all over the place, at the begining of the year i missed a whole AF, we were bothe convinced i was pregnant and it would have been by accident but turns out my cycles are mad and range between 30-50 days! its the longest most annoying wait! and read loads of stuff online about women who have irregular cycles find it harder to concieve but i'm proof this is not true! we concieved first time we tried (unfortunatley mmc). We are in similar cycles as they saw nothing wrong with my ovaries or bloods to know why my cycles are haywire!

Anyway, really hope you feel better soon! dont worry about your husband being disapointed if its bfn, men seem to have a unique way of dealing with these things and im sure he will be very supportive!
If you do the test tomorrow i will have everything crosssed for you! x

 

[MissJuly10]

Thanks girls.

MrsMc - Thanks hun.



Nurse26 - I'm on day 50 now, no sign of her AT ALL. I have had some v.dark brown/red patches in my undies - this went on for about 4 days. On one of the days it was much lighter, almost like a pinky red colour and was not there when I wiped (TMI!) and had creamy white CM for 2 days since then - today being the second day anyways. I did a cheapie earlier and got nothing.

DH thinks the cheapies are unreliable and wants to use a proper test and has told me not to take any notice of the cheapies. But I've seen people get their early BFPs on the cheapies so would have thought mine would show up by now if I was PG.

Sorry to hear about your MC hun.

My husband's been amazing, he's offered to whisk me away for a weekend somewhere in a nice hotel which I did not hesitate to say yes to lol.

So sorry for ranting again, just needed to vent. x x x

 

[rachaellouise]

Aww sweetie! We all feel like this sometimes! TTC is nothing I had expected, it is not romantic and fun, it is bloody stressful and at times I just want to give up but I have faith that at the end of the road there is hope, I will get pregnant one day obviously I hope for that day to be asap but I guess as annoying as it sounds, it will happen when its ready. The same applies to you, I pray this is your cycle but if it is not then just keep going you will get there and we are all here for you!

 

[Vickyxx]

Sorry you are having a bad day hun, unfortunatly they seem to come quite frequently when TTC, I have adapted the "whats the point anymore" attitude which is terrible as I know one day it will be my turn, but like you I have long cycles, am due all my tests when next af shows up currently on CD 59 ..... just so frustrating and the waiting.... well it is constant!!

Word of advice..... if you are feeling teary DONT watch My Sisters Keeper... I done that and christ you would have though it was my kid I cried so bloody much!!

 

[MissJuly10]

Thanks Rachael.

This cycle, we've actually been so relaxed about BDing, we kept it fun and we BDed when we wanted to, we haven't been stressing or anything this cycle.

But we're just feeling clueless now we've gotten to 50 days. I hesitate at going to the docs because I hate going, but if we get BFNs and no period, I need to get a blood test because this is starting to grate on me already. x x

 

[MissJuly10]

Sorry you are having a bad day hun, unfortunatly they seem to come quite frequently when TTC, I have adapted the "whats the point anymore" attitude which is terrible as I know one day it will be my turn, but like you I have long cycles, am due all my tests when next af shows up currently on CD 59 ..... just so frustrating and the waiting.... well it is constant!!

Word of advice..... if you are feeling teary DONT watch My Sisters Keeper... I done that and christ you would have though it was my kid I cried so bloody much!!

CD59!! Now I do feel bad about ranting lol.

I've lost my positivity over the past week, it's really dwindled now and I feel like I'm just waiting for AF to show her ugly wart encrusted face.

I'm watching Cold Case lol so no chance of tears with that lol.

x x

 

[Nurse 26]

aww thats great that you wil have a lovely weekend away to relax and try take your mind off things!

For me the ebay cheepies worked fine! but not sure how many days before af was due it picked it up due to being irregular! all i can say is that the white CM sounds promising as thats what i had when i got the bfp, the only thing you can do is get the proper test and at least that will put your mind at rest then you can think about it when you get back from your romantic break!

will be thinking of you! fingers crossed!

 

[MissJuly10]

I had short sharp pains in my boobs yesterday as well but wrote it off to a badly fitting bra - they seem to have gotten much bigger - had to order a size H and J in!

I think you're right hun, I'll do the test and no matter what the result, disappear for a weekend (as long as AF has already buggered off, if she shows up!) and just enjoy being with my husband.

I've only used a few of my tests, I got 20 so have plenty to use. My sister did say that low preg hormone runs in the family, she was 8-9 weeks before getting BFP with her first baby and almost 6-7 weeks with her second before it was positive. My other sister had the same and my cousin was almost 5 months with hers before her positive!!

It could just be a case of waiting. Plus if I did have IB, apparently a BFP doesn't show up til about 4-7 days after?? x x

 

[Tracey M]

Aw hun - *big hug* I'm not helping pressurising you to test.....sorry!! If it makes you feel better - I tested today ....today....why??? I'm only CD 21 with no symptoms, no OV showing so WTF?? On a positive side, I looked at the BFN and laughed at myself!!

 

[MissJuly10]

Oh Tracey hun, you're not at all, please don't be sorry.

You've been really supportive hun and I appreciate it, plus your positivity keeps me positive.

I think sometimes we just need that quick fix of doing a test, whether it be OPK or HPT! x x



x x

 

[SunnyGirl]

So sorry to hear it's all getting to you it's such a frustrating thing to do after years of panicking thinking you'd get preg by missing a pill every time. It seems bloody cruel joke to go so long having unprotected sex for bfns all over the shop. And I hear ya about ppl asking if you're preg yet - bugger off!!!! I'd never ever ask anyone that!! Arrrgh!
Here for you with hugs, dust and a listening ear xxxxx

 

[MissJuly10]

Thanks hun.

I've never been on the pill in my life, only from 8th til 27th of July as I got married in July and didn't want a period to spoil the day or honeymoon lol.

I'm also starting to dislike the comment "It only takes once"...

Lol.

Again though, it makes me really respect those who've been trying for much longer than I have, I'm still new to the whole thing and I'm ready to give up already!

x x

 

[linxminx21]

your not on your own hun im going to use the opks this upcoming cycle, wen AF finally gets into full flow wich wil be tomorrow wen gavs coming
and then after my 3rd cycle( yes no sticking power) im just going to let nature take its course i have to much to stress over never mind symptom spotting, ovulation readings and the 2ww, ill still come on here but to update and look in on u ladies.
iv got one healthy child so im sure another one will come in time
good look to all you girlies in ttc

 

[kizzibea]

Sorry it's all getting you down hun. I think it happens to us all when we're ttc.

Last month I just cried when AF showed up because I was convinced that it had to be my turn. Like you say, it's so unfair that some people find it so easy and others like us struggle.

Take some time to relax and give yourself some personal time to not focus on it all. *hugs*

 

[MissJuly10]

Thanks girls.

Minx - Yeah, I reckon if we haven't done it this time, I need a break away - sounds so dramatic but having such long cycles really messes with my head/heart and I start thinking that because this cycle has gone on for longer than my previous one, I could be pregnant.

That's true, hopefully it won't be long before Alfie has a little brother or sister.

Kizzibea - Exactly! That's what I think sometimes as well.

My DH has a few days off so going to have a few days away from the forum and just relax with my lovely hubby. x x

to everyone! x x

 

[LouiseB]

Aw MissJ

I hope you're feeling a bit better by now.

It doesn't matter how long you've been trying, my first BFN was no less painful than my fourth BFN.

There doesn't seem to be any middle ground in ttc, you either feel super happy and excited or you feel like crap. You're just having one of those days.

Chin up, no one can tell you when it will happen - but it will happen one way or another, i'm sure of it

 

[MissJuly10]

Definitely agree there! It's a major rollercoaster of emotions, I thought I could get away with making myself think that I could feel like BFNs wouldn't affect me and that I'd accept them and just deal with them and move on..But they stick in your mind and by the time I feel hopeful again, I can't bear taking another test because the idea of getting a BFN again is bloody awful.

I really do envy those people who fall preg pretty much straight away. Happy for them, but envious!

 

[linxminx21]

awwwwwwww a brreak away sounds great
im finally having my first lie-in sat morning in about 6 months!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
so that will be nice and im not ovulating, and cant Bd just incase so no stress there (AF will be around lol ) so just nice cuddles long talks n some well needed sleep

i am with u missj............ i am so jealous i hate seeing women with baby bumps its horrible