In need of a rant!!!!!

[lizziimayy]

As a mum who is breastfeeding my 6 month old girl I have joined breastfeeding groups on Facebook for advice and to support other breastfeeding mums. However, some people on there just infuriate me! Some breastfeeding mums are just so big headed over the fact that they breastfeed and think that any ff mum is inferior to them. This is just not fair to judge without knowing people's circumstances! Yeah it's great to be breastfeeding but at the end of the day it's such a personal choice and breastfeeding is not for everyone and no one else's business. I have understanding and respect for anyone who ffs as they're still mums who are feeding their babies and still love them just as much as a breastfeed baby!!!!

Thanks for letting me rant!

 

[kumber]

I've been so wary of joining bf groups for the same reason. I've joined a couple just for advice but am nervous to look beyond my own posts as some of the replies I have received some quite, erm....robust replies to suggstion of a bottle. I can see why they get so passionate but it's unfair for anyone's beliefs to negatively impact on another, especially with such a sensitive topic of bf vs ff.

 

[lizziimayy]

I just wish that everyone had more respect for each other. It's fine to bf or ff as the baby is still healthy. Total respect for ff mums who have to get up in the night to make bottles, I couldn't do that!

 

[Eryinera]

I joined a group at my GPs when I bf my son. I can honestly say they were all great even when some couldn't cope and ended up ff they still remained in our group and we still offered support. I never did the whole online thing but it was great to be around other mums who were going through similar things.

 

[CARNAT22]

I've FF one and BF the other (still going strong at 9 months) so I have a true understanding of both and I honestly think both have positives and negatives....

How can people make fair and unbiased judgements when they have never FF? That is what makes me so mad. How can people have such strong opinions when they have never been there?

Drives me nuts. How another mum chooses to feed her baby has naff all to do with anyone else other than her and her baby.

X

 

[Colleen1988]

Omg seriously, I didnt know this????? I formula feed isaac but I did Breast feed for 3 weeks! the only reason I stopped was because I ended up back in hospital with septicaemia and literally couldn't breast feed him anymore, the medications I were on werent good for him, so to be judged by some narrow minded idiots is disgusting! Good for them if they were lucky enough to not nearly die in child birth and have the luxury of being healthy enough to breastfeed for 6 months or longer! Honestly so many judgemental and narrow minded people in this world! you just never know everyone's personal stories to be able to judge! These women need a punch in the face xxx

 

[Browneyed Girl]

It is very annoying! My lo was breastfed until 8 weeks and is now on formula. He's had various issues with feeding since birth and has recently been diagnosed with tongue tie which explains it all. I spoke to midwives, the health visitor and took him to the GP twice about feeding and no-one checked for this it was able to offer practical solutions so I had to try myself and switched to the bottle hoping it would help. Irony is that when the problems continued and I wanted him checked for tongue tie I was told I couldn't go to the drop in feeding support group (where they have a lactation consultant who could check) because he is bottle fed I'd have to ask my hv to refer him and wait at the back of the queue because he's bottle fed!! Ended up paying privately. Makes my blood boil that the NHS promote breastfeeding but then don't provide adequate support to those struggling and actively shut the door in your face if you stop. I agree some mums (not all) think that breastfeeding is superior and should be continued at all costs. Ff isn't an easy solution and I would have happily carried on bf if I hadn't had all these problems. Sorry for jumping in on your rant! Xx

 

[Nutsyputs]

I completely agree. I don't think there is a right or wrong to feed your baby, it's totally your choice. But on the otherside I've breastfed both my babies (currently 5 months in) and am often asked and was with my son when I was/am going to give them a bottle. After working so hard to establish feeding why would I give up now! Especially as I have no need to. I'm not back at work till may. Don't need to leave my baby.

 

[Goat]

I had the misfortune of being invited to one of those groups and I was so disgusted with it. They used such derogatory language towards those that formula fed or breastfeeding mums who weren't judgemental. I reported them and left. I cannot be arsed with people like that, they are so pathetic and must lead very meaningless lives if they get kicks out of slamming other mums who are just doing their best.
I'm very pro breastfeeding and am training to become a volunteer bf support worker because I struggle a lot first time round and I'm very proud that I managed to bf both of mine and currently have 25 months of bf experience. However I don't for one second think I'm better than someone who didn't bf and I hope to god that i never make anyone feel like I think I am. I just want to help those who are struggling and want to make it work because I can totally relate to that.

 

[Toni.C]

I didn't breastfeed myself, but I have friends who have/still do and I honestly take my hats off to them. I supported a friend who didn't have the confidence to breastfeed in public, who would shut herself in her car to feed or a dirty public toilet. However, another friend of mine told me that my reasons to not breastfeed weren't good enough and she knew of ladies that had been in my position that still did. Good for them, but I couldn't do it and that was my choice and my baby is still very happy and very healthy. I think we should all support each other, whatever way we decide to feed our babies. In my eyes, there is no right or wrong. I think some ff mums can also be the same and make themselves more superior than bf mums. X

 

[BunnyN]

Of course its not right to look dont at others but I think there is another side to it. Many BFing mums have been bombarded with such predudice and bad advice that they end up feeling groups like those are the only place they can express themselves. Thankfully I havent had to deal with a lot of predudice but I've had more than my share of bad and unwanted advice and honestly had to be pretty determined to carry on despite it . When you deal with constant bad advice I think it can make you kick back too hard. I believe we should all show respect though.

 

[Aimee84]

Thanks for being understanding. I had to formula feed my daughter from seven weeks as she was put onto a lactose free formula. I was heartbroken but knew the doctor had her best interests at heart and I'm so pleased I did then ff as she was a changed baby. I've since heard woman sat behind me once talking to each other about the fact I was ff my daughter, this upset me as the choice was taken away from me but I also think any mum who has chosen to ff has their own reasons and do not need anyone critising them. Nobody knows anyone else's struggles and so judgements shouldn't happen. Thanks again for your understand for all ff mums x

 

[Colleen1988]

Why are you saying thanks for being understanding... You don't need to thank anybody for anything, it's not up to anyone else what anyone else does! Like you say, you had no choice so why should you feel bad,
It's exactly the same for those who choose to formula feed even if they can Breast feed, so what that's up to them, it's not like formula is poison, it still gives babies what they need and babies on formula are still healthy! xxx

 

[CARNAT22]

I have to be honest Bunny the only prejudice I've ever faced has been with my FF child.

I realise there are incidences where mothers feel discriminated against whilst bf'ing. I can think of the mother in the swimming pool and the mother who went to one of the posh hotels for high tea [I think the mum who made the claim that a security guard removed her baby from her for feeding in Primark was proved to be lying?] But my experience is that I've only received judgement and negative comments - from fellow mum's and a few healthcare professionals - with my FF baby.

X

 

[BunnyN]

Thankfully there seems to be less prejudice these days. I haven't had to deal with much myself either. I do remember things being pretty different when my mum was breastfeeding my little sister which wasn't that long ago. I remember hearing BFing referred to as disgusting at least once. My mum says things were 10x worse when my older brother was little. (He was also automatically given a bottle at birth and during her stay in hospital she wasn't allowed to feed him more than every 4hrs no matter how much he screamed. She wasn't offered any help to BF so had to work it out herself). I remember my SIL getting a hard time for feeding in public on multiple occasions . The reason we don't deal with that prejudice is because there has been so much campaigning for BFing in recent years. Unfortunately it has also had the effect of going overboard in the other direction. There is a fine line between encouraging BFing and being pushy/judgemental. People should know were the line is but they seem to get it wrong a lot.

With my first baby I did feel bombarded with uneducated and pushy advice (which often amounted to anti-breastfeeding advice) from all sources including health care professionals though. You only have to look at the statistics to see how many mums start BFing and how many carry on to realise there is still something wrong with the support system. It seems very unfair on mums to tell them breast is best and then not give them the support they need to make it work. My heart goes out to mums who wanted to BF and were not able to. Although I personally believe BFing is the best and healthiest choice for my babies I still think its a personal decision if some ff by choice and I understand that the reasons for doing so can be complex.

 

[babyslog]

The BF v FF fucks me off so much!

The baby is being fed at the end of the day. Boob or bottle! As long as the baby is healthy...Who cares!


Annoys me so sooooo much!

 

[dolly26]

I bf'ed for the first 16 days and I loved it but I couldn't keep up to her demands but once I started to ff she was a happier baby.

It doesn't matter how babies are fed as long as they are happy and healthy.

I unfortunately met some bfing mums at a local baby group party and they looked down their noses at the mums that ff

 

[Miss_impatient]

I'd probably cry if someone commented on me ff my LO. I was devastated (and still am a bit) that I didn't end up breastfeeding. Its not fair for people to be judgemental because they don't know the circumstances behind your decision and it is your decision.

There is very little information out there on ff as well and I felt like I didn't know what I was doing at the beginning. It was encouraging tho that the lady from the breastfeeding team in my area told me that they were going to become the feeding team in general. They recognised women needed support no matter what method they choose!

 

[Phoenix85]

Well when I had my first baby no one said anything about breastfeeding, he was about 4 hours old before a midwife came round and asked if they'd fed yet (they hadn't) and helped me to latch him on and feed.

The next morning another midwife came to my bed and asked me which bottle of formula I wanted (just automatically assumed I was bottlefeeding) When I said neither they left (didn't care about checking everything was going well or seeing if I wanted any BFing help).

When we got home I carried on BFing with no help, but my baby was born at 37 weeks and weighed 5lb 14oz and gained weight slowly.
The HV was no help and from around 6/8 weeks she regularly told me that my milk was no good, or that it wasn't calorific enough, etc etc. No help, no practical suggestions to keep breastfeeding, just constant undermining and telling me to give bottles, which I eventually did at about 10 weeks. By 16 weeks my baby had stopped breastfeeding altogether because it was easier to get milk from the bottle and my milk dried up.


When I got pg with my second I decided I was going to bf and for longer this time. I refused to buy formula or bottles or dummies. Things went well and despite an 'uneasy' start (went from 6lb 11 at birth to 6lb and was 15 days old before getting back to birth weight) she then gained loads and fed well.

When she was little I had no negativity that I remember, but from being 12 months I was very much aware of anti breastfeeding stances. People saying it's sick, gross, disgusting etc. And BFing past two years old... even worse.
I didn't care. I trained as a BFing Peer supporter when she was 6 months old and did that voluntarily til she was 4 and continued to breastfeed.

The problem is that formula is not equal to breastmilk. Formula feeding does increase the risk of the baby being ill, no one should be made to feel guilty for feeding one way or the other, but whenever posts like this come up people always do say that it doesn't matter, they are still getting fed etc, but the reason why some people are so vocal about it is because it does matter.

BFing support in this country needs a lot of improvement so that there are fewer stories where mums "tried but couldn't". It's not good enough that women are starting breastfeeding, hitting problems, and not getting the support they need to continue.
However, as long as people try to play down the risks of formula feeding and claim it doesn't matter either way, nothing will ever change. Because if there truly was no difference, it wouldn't matter, unfortunately the fact is it can & does make a difference. Even one extra day of breastmilk can make a difference for your baby.

 

[babyslog]

The problem is that formula is not equal to breastmilk. Formula feeding does increase the risk of the baby being ill, no one should be made to feel guilty for feeding one way or the other, but whenever posts like this come up people always do say that it doesn't matter, they are still getting fed etc, but the reason why some people are so vocal about it is because it does matter.

BFing support in this country needs a lot of improvement so that there are fewer stories where mums "tried but couldn't". It's not good enough that women are starting breastfeeding, hitting problems, and not getting the support they need to continue.
However, as long as people try to play down the risks of formula feeding and claim it doesn't matter either way, nothing will ever change. Because if there truly was no difference, it wouldn't matter, unfortunately the fact is it can & does make a difference. Even one extra day of breastmilk can make a difference for your baby.

Im sorry i dnt agree with formula making a baby more prone to being sick that if it was breast fed.
My lb apart from a cold hasnt been sick. He was ff from 6days old

Yet 2 friends who ebf have both had their babies hospitalised due to being unwell.
Its nothing to do with milk! If ur child is guna be unwell or ill, they will. Regardless!


There is no difference! And it DOES NOT matter if they are ff or bf
They would not sell it if there was!

And breast milk is only 'healthy' if the mother is...