Breastfeeding rant

[Bexybun]

Not sure if this is right place for this post, but I've just got to rant, lol.

Was talking to OH last night about a programme I was watching about breastfeeding and stupidly assumed, as we'd already discussed the fact I'm planning to breastfeed, that this wouldn't result in yet another row. How ridiculously naive of me, all we bloody do is argue at the moment

So we're talking perfectly nicely, and suddenly he goes "Oh god, you're not going to be one of those awful women who breastfeed in public, are you?" Er, I beg your pardon?! Then he proceeds to tell me how disgustingly un-natural he finds breastfeeding, how rude it is to do it in public, and how it's just an excuse for women to get their tits out so people will look at them Honestly, I was shaking with rage and couldn't even begin to tell him how fucked-up he sounded. What the hell?! I mean, I've heard of people being uncomfortable around breastfeeding mothers, but he sounded soooo angry about it, and I had no idea he felt like that. It's just one more bloody thing that I'm not going to have his support in, like I needed anything else Twat.

 

[pinkyprincess]

He's being a bit of a knob!

 

[Olive]

Ah hun, I don't really know what to say! Maybe once the baby is here he'll realise it's perfectly natural and not find it so strange?

xx

 

[frankie707]

WTF! Surely he should be supporting you in all your decisions!
I breastfeed in public, did it for the first time when LO was 3 weeks old, and have only ever had positive comments about me doing it and most certainly do NOT do it to get my tits out! There is nothing sexual about your boobs when you're feeding and there is nothing nicer than seeing LO snuggled up against their mummy having a cuddle and a feed.
We're here to support you in it if he wont

 

[JensBump]

Sometimes it is really shocking how strongly people feel about breastfeeding - I mean what are they there for if not to feed a baby

Perhaps he will feel differently once LO arrives - I know one of my family members said to me I am only doing the 6 months cause that is best for baby but I really am not fussed - now LO is 3 months and she recently told me she will BF until little one is aroud 2 years old

You could think about joining a support group like the local La Leche League and at least you will have other like minded people who will be BFing in public and will offer you advice and support.

 

[JJ Mum]

Perhaps that programme was a bit too much for him all at once - and he went into a bit of a late preg crisis / man panic! I would leave the subject for now, decide yourself how your feeding, it's your boobs! Once baby arrives and sees you feeding, he will realise what a lovely sight it is, nothing more natural than your wife providing for your baby like that, my OH loves it, and it means wayyy easy life for him too!

 

[Bee7]

Oh dear, the mind boggles at what goes through mens brains sometimes. This sounds like exactly the sort of argument i'd have with my OH. It would go on for ages, neither of us would back down, a conclusion would never be reached and eventually it would always end with me storming out wondering how i could be with someone who is so clearly derranged and has such different morals and ideas to me.
At the end of the day this is your decision, your body, your boobs and you're the one providing for baby in this way. If he doesn't 'agree' with it then that's his problem...although i fail to see how anyone can not agree with something so natural. I guess men just see boobs as sexual objects not the nutrient providing baby feeders that god intended them to be!
Deep breath, keep calm, and if all else fails let rip on here! xx

 

[Lilelephant]

Tbh I am gonna try breastfeeding but won't be doing it in public. I think it makes other ppl feel uncomfortable. But that is my opinion

 

[Lulabell]

OMG I cant believe your OH's reaction! But its a sad situation that alot of people feel the same way as him. It's perfectly natural. Why should you be forced to feed your baby in the mother n baby changing room? You wouldnt eat your lunch in the toilet, would you? It's disgusting how some peoples attitudes are. I will breast feed, and in public. I won't make a big thing of it. Find a quiet corner out of the way. But if anyone dares to approach me and tell me i'm wrong then they will feel my wrath! LOL. Seriously though, I would tell them to f off!xx

 

[hellywelly]

I mean, how DARE you assume that your boobs are there for anyone's pleasure but his??!! Can you not see how inconsiderate you are being!!?? ha ha ha

My OH is currrently pissing me off as we speak - we are having an argument over an X Box as I type this, and the fact that I have just got myself comfy on the sofa and he wants to kick me off it's not going down well. Especially as I'm the one who has worked a 14 hour day so far and he is self employed and only worked 3 hours this morning!!! I've hidden the remote....

 

[frankie707]

In the beginning I used a pashmina to cover LO, you couldnt see at all what I was doing and nothing was ever on show.
You have to get out and about with LO to keep your own sanity and there will be times, even if you try and plan around feeds, that LO will be hungry and you wont be at home, you can be very discreet about it and the majority of people won't notice you doing it.

 

[Sarah13]

I'm really quite shocked at your OHs response! Honestly don't know what to say, just hope he's in the minority who think that way, this country is so backward compared to the rest of Europe about breastfeeding views! Hopefully he will be more understanding when baby arrives. Bet he likes topless women on a beach abroad though! Why on earth would our boobies make milk if they werent meant for feeding babies? Funny how it's acceptable to feed another mammals milk to our babies though! I really have to try not think about where cows milk comes from to drink it, it's quite gross really, otherwise I'd be a vegan instead of a veggie!

 

[BevG]

this made me lol. your OH is being an idiot isnt he, id have laughed at him...

unnatural....hmm seems like thats what they were made for and why they work the way they do. i wonder if he was fed that way?

 

[Iriki]

Hopefully, he'll come to his senses once little one arrives. TBH with No 1 I wasn't too sure whether I'd breastfeed or not, but right from the start hubby assumed that I would and was never anything but supportive - didn't realize how lucky I was!!!
There's a real breastfeeding culture here in NZ, it's the norm here and I would say that over 90% of mums breastfeed. Coffee shops, restaurants etc all display " breastfeeding welcome here " signs and while I certainly wouldn't just flop the girls out to feed baby without a certain amount of discretion and decorum (for my sake not anyone else's)' I definitely have never been made feel uncomfortable or made anyone else feel uncomfortable by feeding in public.

I do sort of understand where your hubby is coming from though, there is a certain number of breastfeeding mommas who seem to adopt a very militant, in your face attitude to breastfeeding... And almost try to provoke a reaction through shock tactics, ie flinging the girls around or sitting in a cafe etc fully exposed before baby is even in position to feed, with niples akimbo , I think we've all seen examples. TBH I think it's people like that that do more damage to how breastfeeding is perceived than anything else. Personally, I think there's nothing more feminine or maternal than a feeding baby with it's mother, hopefully your hubby will think so soon too.

 

[NinjaKitty]

Im not comfortable about breast feeding in public but if it needs to be done I'll do it. Im not gonna scuttle of to a horrible bog somewhere and do it either uuurrrgggghhh. It's not like I'm gonna whap out a boob any old how. In the UK there seems to be a perception that boobs are purely sexual thing and you are being disgusting for exposing them. Your OH needs to get past his hangups and let you get on with it. I'm gonna get some tips from a friend who became an expert at discrete public feeding.

 

[Bexybun]

Thanks for the support girls, nice to know I can at least get it on here, lol.

Oh yeah, Hellywelly you reminded me, he also said 'that's not what boobs are for in my opinion'. That's EXACTLY what boobs are for, you moron! I think it is a lot to do with the fact he's a boob man, and he's peed off that they won't be all his anymore. Hopefully he'll soften to it when baby comes. What does he want, his baby to go hungry?!

I'm also not planning to be a 'whip em out at every opportunity' mum, I will be covering up with a shawl or something, but apparently that's still 'wrong' sometimes I want to throttle him.

 

[roxane 1985]

i dont agree at all with how he reacted about it and thats coming from a mom who gets totally freaked out by breast feeding, to the point i cant even discuss the option with a midwife as it make me feel physically sick and dirty lmao

but i also understand that alot of women find this a very pleasent and natural thing to do and my friends done it (oki had to leave while the boob was out lol).

i think you should do wat every feels comfortable and natural to you at the end of the day- christ its not like your asking him to get hiss moob out and start lactating is it lol

xx

 

[poppypd]

Best place to rant, only gonna get support on that one! Not doing your stress levels any good! Being pregnant is hard enough in lots of ways without having someone moaning at you. They have it so easy, my OH will be doing more than his fair share of everything to make up for the work i've put in pre birth!! He knows it too, and luckily he's quite keen!

xxx

 

[Rachaellius]

OMG I cant believe your OH's reaction! But its a sad situation that alot of people feel the same way as him. It's perfectly natural. Why should you be forced to feed your baby in the mother n baby changing room? You wouldnt eat your lunch in the toilet, would you? It's disgusting how some peoples attitudes are. I will breast feed, and in public. I won't make a big thing of it. Find a quiet corner out of the way. But if anyone dares to approach me and tell me i'm wrong then they will feel my wrath! LOL. Seriously though, I would tell them to f off!xx

Well Said!!! x

 

[BabyBrain]

My boyfriend is a bit undecided about breast feeding.....or he was until I told him how much money it will save us lol. I am very shy so if I need to feed Podge in public I'll just drape some muslin over my shoulder or something but not cos of others opinion, they can go swivel xxxxxxxxxx