Breastfeeding someone else's baby?

[Maria1977]

I had a right battle getting my son to BF. He was born tongue tied and the hospital he was born in were forcing him onto me, he couldn't latch and would come off right away and they would then force him back on holding his head and holding my boob, it was horrendous. I was in tears but they would not let me bottle feed him. I begged in the end for food for him and they literally spent almost an hour getting him latched onto me. But he couldn't stay. I just wanted my baby to eat. In the end the local breast feeding support group heard what was going on and stepped in, I couldn't have breast fed without their help. They got the tongue tie dealt with within 7 days, by sending us 30 miles, if the hospital oscar was born in had beenn left to it, I got an appt for his tongue tie come through for when he would've been 3 months old. WTF?

Sorry, I digress, but whether human milk is better for us or not, I would not feel comfortable with another woman breastfeeding my child. If there was no other option obviously it would be different, but otherwise he would be forumla fed.

The amount of guilt and pressure put upon mums, and by ourselves, to breastfeed is crazy.

For something so natural, breastfeeding doesn't come natural to most mums or babies, it's bloody hard work and takes alot of time and commitment.

With my next I will be breastfeeding, but will be introducing formula early on and this time I won't feel any guilt about it. I defo wouldn't let another woman breastfeed my children, it's way too personal for me and it's a bonding experience I wouldn't want my child to have with somebody else.

 

[Princess81]

obviously people feel very strongly about this, as with most feeding issues. Please be sensitive as to how others may feel or what their reactions might be. A joke can be misconstrued in "writing" so best err on the side of caution and not make them on subjects that others can find upsetting.

Please take each others feelings into consideration and get the thread back in track otherwise it'll be locked xx

 

[Me, My Girls & I]

Right, I've just lost what I was saying cos I got a phobecall! It's let me calm down a bit, so I'll just stick to the bit that's riled me the most, before I go back to read!

How fucking dare you launch a personal attack on me like that! FYI, I never posted about changing the kids beds, it was about my own and was a lighthearted thread, which stemmed from a deeper issue which you know fill well about that I'm not going to go into in the open forum!

And yes, I've had a few takeaways recently! Who gibes a shit?! I'm s fully grown adult and can make my own decisions what to eat! I slso smoke and drink, bit I Spose that's wrong too! The reason I've had takeaways is because A) I want to and B) I'm struggling really badly with depression right now and it's not that easi for me to cook for myself!

But guess what? My children have eaten home cooked food every single night and always do! So who cares if I eat takeaways?!


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[Dragonfly Fi]

Thanks Helen and Evie, it's nice to know not everyone has suffered a complete sense of humour failure...

For the record I only defended myself as I was told I was lucky for breastfeeding and that I didn't know how hard it could be. I know exactly how hard it is thank you and there are reasons I made the decisions that I did.

It was meant as a joke, I think as two people who have ff have admitted it didn't hurt them to read it, I suggest anyone taking it as a personal attack should look inside themselves as to why they feel that way, before blaming someone else or (worse) telling them that they shouldn't be able to breastfeed because another person couldn't.

this is getting repetitive. Noone sid you dont deserve to BF, noone said youre not allowd to cos someone else did. Read it all again and try to understand this time.

I thought you were unsubscribing.

I thought you were placing me on ignore? [removed]

You really are a lowlife and you expect me to do as you say? Get real.

 

[Mrs_B1981]

I don't post here often but I feel I had to comment. I was lucky enough to be a BF mum and very proud I managed 6 months before going back to a highly stressful full time job in the NHS.
I believe your comment/flippant joke was highly emotive, from someone who claims to be 'educated.' If you are that educated you should know better. And your argument against upsetting people is poor. Mothers who choose not to BF before their child is born have reasons why, that's why no one bats an eyelid. You can't make people do something they don't want. But mothers who have that choice taken away from them are clearly going to react to your comment. I'm afraid you cannot stand back and claim innocence as though you didn't expect a reaction. If you want to 'bitch' about formula please go and do it elsewhere.

In response to the OP, I would find it weird feeding and watching my child being fed? Good question though, when answered appropriately!

 

[Dragonfly Fi]

Yeah wasn't your two year old caught chewing the butts of fags that you smoke in the house she lives in? Yeah I remember...

 

[Amyrose]

Oh my god!!!! Surely this sort of behaviour can not be allowed?

 

[Me, My Girls & I]

Fi you really are a nasty, vindictive excuse for a woman!! How fycking dare you make comments about people like that! I'm actually in shock, I didn't think even you could stoop so low!


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[knopk@]

Fi, if you are going to start recalling other threads, do be careful, you posted about having weed when you were pregnant, now for responsible mother, eh?

 

[leesey]

I thought you were placing me on ignore? [removed]

You really are a lowlife and you expect me to do as you say? Get real.

Fi I haven't commented on this thread although I found it interesting at first, but I'm sorry I have to say I find this bang out of order and completely below the belt. You have sidetracked from the issue and resorted to slagging people off for very private things.

This is not the first time you have seriously offended people, and I've never said anything about it because you can often be very pleasant and helpful. I feel like the ttc Fi and the Baby and Toddler Fi are two different people and there have been many threads in this part of the forum when you have terribly upset and offended people.

Some people have left the forum because of the insensitivity of some of your posts in Baby and Toddler.

As I said I've often found you to be pleasant and helpful in ttc and aip parts of the forum, and I've got on well with you, but I have to say this has really shocked me

 

[Dragonfly Fi]

I ate a small amount of weed when pregnant, to qualm the morning sickness that nearly had me hospitalised after much research on the matter.

Bit different to smoking around your two year old and leaving fag butts for them to chew on.

Weed is used medicinally all around the world... Or hadn't you noticed

 

[Me, My Girls & I]

Erm for one, it wasn't fag butts she was chewing on, it was unsmoked cigarettes that were put in a safe place that she previously couldn't reach! Nothing was ingested or swallowed!

Secondly I don't smoke in my house or around my children! It's my choice to smoke, not theirs!

And I stopped smoking the second I found out I was pregnant! But then maybe I shouldn't have and shoul have added a bit of weed into the mix as we all know that's perfectly safe to smoke whilst pregnant doesnt cause any problems in anyone! GROW YHE FUCK UP!!!!


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[ZMD]

Thanks Helen and Evie, it's nice to know not everyone has suffered a complete sense of humour failure...

For the record I only defended myself as I was told I was lucky for breastfeeding and that I didn't know how hard it could be. I know exactly how hard it is thank you and there are reasons I made the decisions that I did.

It was meant as a joke, I think as two people who have ff have admitted it didn't hurt them to read it, I suggest anyone taking it as a personal attack should look inside themselves as to why they feel that way, before blaming someone else or (worse) telling them that they shouldn't be able to breastfeed because another person couldn't.

this is getting repetitive. Noone sid you dont deserve to BF, noone said youre not allowd to cos someone else did. Read it all again and try to understand this time.

I thought you were unsubscribing.

I thought you were placing me on ignore? [removed]

You really are a lowlife and you expect me to do as you say? Get real.

How Damn right rude can one person get?!!

 

[Me, My Girls & I]

I DONT SMOKE AROUND MU CHILDREN OR LEAVE FAG BUTTS FOR THEM TO CHEW!!!! Fucks fuckinh sake!!!!

Yes weed is used medicinally, but it s also highly dangerous! Believe me, I know, I spent 3 years in an abusive relationjop with a man with a weed addiction! It sends you fuckinh crazy!!


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[ZMD]

So weed whilst pregnant is perfectly acceptable but you must not give formula cows milk to a baby?!!

 

[Me, My Girls & I]

Oh and I text titch as I knew she was offline and felt she needed to know about the filth coming out of your nasty little mouth! She said to let you know she's blocked you! She's off out tonight having a life, I suggest you get one...


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[Sam's Mum]

I haven't even got to the end of this yet but seriously, can we not even have a discussion on here without it getting personal?!

Fi, I appreciate that your comment was intended to be light hearted, but I would have thought with all you have been through to be able to breastfeed that you would understand more than those who found it easy just how devastating it can be for some people not to be able to. I had similar problems with Sam - he was also tongue tied and despite months of pain and attempts to get advice in the hospital, from y doctor, HV and support groups nobody even bothered to check. It was only when a doctor asked months later if his tongue tie had affected me feeding him that I realised why. But I consider myself very lucky to have been able to feed both my boys - I have watched several friends struggle just as much as I did, wanting to succeed just as much as I did, and not be able to carry on feeding, particularly after sections.

This could be an interesting topic if people could take others' feelings into consideration.

Having watched a program about feeding other people's babies a while ago I also felt that letting someone else feed mine would be very difficult, although I would have no problem feeding another baby if they needed it. There's a worldwide milk sharing network on facebook for mums to pump and donate to others who need it - I haven't been on there much recently but I assume it's still going...

 

[MrsR]

That's really interesting about the bf thing on fb sam's mum-is it just for prem babies or any babies?


Ignore any mistakes-my iPhone is addicted to autocorrect!

 

[Sam's Mum]

Wow... having just had a quick look at the rest of this I am actually disgusted by some of the comments. I have just got home and am on my phone but will look over this properly when I have a chance to get on my laptop.

 

[Sam's Mum]

That's really interesting about the bf thing on fb sam's mum-is it just for prem babies or any babies?


Ignore any mistakes-my iPhone is addicted to autocorrect!

It's for any babies - I'll have a look in a bit and find a link x