I will not give my baby formula!!!!!!!

[Les1504]

Hi there, I am new to the forum and it was blatantly obvious that the thread was linked to breast feeding...the simple answer is not to read the thread if it is just going to upset, offend or make you feel like a failure! I have a 4 month old baby and have used the forum to gain amazing and wonderful advice and information over the past year. I admire your determination cosmic girl and your post should inspire any mum to be, who is worried about the prospect of breast feeding x

 

[Lynds77]

I knew the initial post was Cos ranting about her OH. But its the subsequent debate and some of the things that have said that have upset me. Because i DO feel like I have failed my baby, as so many other FF mums do. Its natural I guess.

And yes a "I have fed my baby for 6mnths, I am so proud of myself" would again upset me, as I would feel SO SO jealous, and it would again remind me of my failings. No fault of the original poster of course. Why shouldnt you post how proud you are? dam right you should be proud. If it were me I would be singing it from the rafters!

I agree, a separate section would be best for both sides. I could have gone in there when I was BF'ing for support, and left the section when I stopped.

instead of getting wracked with guilt jealousy and longing every time I read a happy BFing post.

I simply just wish it were me!

 

[Emily0505]

I knew the initial post was Cos ranting about her OH. But its the subsequent debate and some of the things that have said that have upset me. Because i DO feel like I have failed my baby, as so many other FF mums do. Its natural I guess.

And yes a "I have fed my baby for 6mnths, I am so proud of myself" would again upset me, as I would feel SO SO jealous, and it would again remind me of my failings. No fault of the original poster of course. Why shouldnt you post how proud you are? dam right you should be proud. If it were me I would be singing it from the rafters!

I agree, a separate section would be best for both sides. I could have gone in there when I was BF'ing for support, and left the section when I stopped.

instead of getting wracked with guilt jealousy and longing every time I read a happy BFing post.

I simply just wish it were me!

XX

 

[cosmicgirl]

I've been racking my brains trying to think how to reply to this, total brain freeze day! I completely empathise with the situation! I did a lot of head biting off with K! Particularly mil who kept asking when I was going to FF so other people could feed her etc! And the people who told Me I was brave for bf they got told that I'd pushed an almost 10lb baby out my fandango, so feeding her as nature planned certainly wasn't brave I think to me it was a case of, this is my baby, I was given the equipment to feed her and I'm going to do my absolute damndest to do so! I did have issues with formula too, not necessarily because of what it was, more that I felt I should be able to do it myself iykwim?

In the end I had to switch to FF when she was 4 months as my milk dried up! I was devastated cos I'd spent weeks glued to the sofa feeding literally for an hour every hour! I cried bucket loads, I really did! E ended up being FF from day 2 as I just really struggled with it and was a single mum too!

But yea, I've got myself sidetracked! I did knownfrom your original post tho that it was a rant about your OH and not about FF

Thanks love.
And I'm with ya about being hours to the couch lol
Your feelings on FF and mine are exactly the same, again, you wrote it better lol xx

 

[cosmicgirl]

Hi there, I am new to the forum and it was blatantly obvious that the thread was linked to breast feeding...the simple answer is not to read the thread if it is just going to upset, offend or make you feel like a failure! I have a 4 month old baby and have used the forum to gain amazing and wonderful advice and information over the past year. I admire your determination cosmic girl and your post should inspire any mum to be, who is worried about the prospect of breast feeding x

Thank you hun, that's a lovely post, thank you for writing it.
It means a lot xx

 

[cosmicgirl]

I knew the initial post was Cos ranting about her OH. But its the subsequent debate and some of the things that have said that have upset me. Because i DO feel like I have failed my baby, as so many other FF mums do. Its natural I guess.

And yes a "I have fed my baby for 6mnths, I am so proud of myself" would again upset me, as I would feel SO SO jealous, and it would again remind me of my failings. No fault of the original poster of course. Why shouldnt you post how proud you are? dam right you should be proud. If it were me I would be singing it from the rafters!

I agree, a separate section would be best for both sides. I could have gone in there when I was BF'ing for support, and left the section when I stopped.

instead of getting wracked with guilt jealousy and longing every time I read a happy BFing post.

I simply just wish it were me!

Lynds I could hug you hun, I literally could.

I do feel separate sections would help, it would stop the horrible upsetting debates, it would hopefully mean that FF mums wouldn't need to see BF threads unless they wanted to.
I agree, the subsequent posts were horrible, I was soooo upset, but I am to blame for some of those and for that I am sorry. I should have ignored that person and rose above it.

I'd have loved my lo's to have worn cloth. It's just not possible for me with so many kids and working FT but I am jealous when I hear about mums being successful with cloth nappies, so to a very small extent I do know how it feels (a tiny bit).
I also have my GD issues and stay away from I'm team pink threads, I can't go near them. That's my own demon obviously and in no way the fault of the OP.
We all have our guilt one way or another don't we xx

 

[KarenC]

All good points. I rarely post on threads like this, but I agree with Emily in that having sections for bf and ff might be quite divisive. It separates mummies into two clear camps and could continue to upset some people even if they avoid reading the threads, because the sections will mark out the difference between BF and FF simply by their existence. I think there will always always be arguments about this on PF, it's just how things are. Whether people choose to enter into these discussions is up to them - I try to avoid them because they are rarely constructive.

Before we give birth, it is drummed into us at antenatal classes that we should BF for the baby's benefit, so if BF fails, or a woman chooses not to BF for whatever reason, they are left feeling like failures or like other people are sneering at them for the choice they have made. This is the root of the problem and it can't really be resolved by separating us here. Our own attitudes must be open-minded and non-judgmental.

That said, I think there is not a prominent enough part of the forum for ladies trying to BF to get support. I really struggled and worked my socks off to make BF work and would like to help others out who are struggling, because I was successful in the end and could pass my experience on. There is a sticky thread at the top of the Feeding and Nutrition section for advice to breastfeeding mummies, but it is underused.

Well done, Cos. It's fooking hard work, BFing and your persistence is admirable. Hope you manage to sort out that sore nipple too xxx

 

[cosmicgirl]

Thanks Karen, again, I agree with everything you have said.
Thank you for your lovely comment.
I used some sudocrem as advised by the lovely ladies on the other thread. Although the hole is just as big, a lot of the inflammation has subsided, thank god x

 

[KarenC]

Thanks Karen, again, I agree with everything you have said.
Thank you for your lovely comment.
I used some sudocrem as advised by the lovely ladies on the other thread. Although the hole is just as big, a lot of the inflammation has subsided, thank god x

You amaze me. Sounds so so painful. Hugs x

 

[TORino]

^^ well said.

Breastfeeding is an emotive topic so like Karen says it will always stir feelings of inadequacy in others who weren't able to for whatever reason.

I hope you are having a better day of it today hun, big love to you. I saw the pic of your wound and that looks soooooooo sore I hope it is healing for you xx

 

[cosmicgirl]

Thanks girls, you're all so supportive, it's amazing
The pain is slightly better today, it's just embarrassing biting a towel when we have visitors lol x

 

[PeaPod]

I really hope the sudocreme has helped a bit and keep up the good work hon!!XxX

 

[Water_Melon]

That's brilliant you carried on with all them problems Well done!!

I 95% BF.. I intoduced a bottle at bed time because I felt my baby just wasn't getting enough from me (CONSTANTLY feeding, forever crying unless on boob)

He took to the bottle at first but now he hates them... so back to BF full time. I'm ok with it, I just hope he is getting enough. He is nearly 7 weeks and last time he was weighed, he is over 11lbs. So I guess he is okay... it's just really hard with the constant feeding. I'm actually typing this with him attached ha ha.

BF is getting easier at last though. The pain and problems for the first 5 or so weeks were unreal, but things are getting better. I heard thats normally the case with all BF cases I'm keeping at it mainly because my OH has astma and a few other things, so I want to less the risk for it happening to my baby as much as possible.

I would really like a BF section on here too.

 

[cosmicgirl]

Well done for trying again watermelon, glad it's going well for you xx

 

[l_maclean]

I don't think a bf section would cause a divide. I think the majority of us are very accepting that first and foremost it matters that your baby is fed and happy - not WHATS in its tummy.

Yet like cos I feel like I have to censor my feelings on bf so as not to appear 'anti formula' Also when someone asks for help - I don't think the 'your not a failure if you have to give a bottle' are helpful! We know your not a failure, but if everyone is telling you to FF then that kinda advice can be very upsetting as well.

I think separate sections would avoid as MANY inadvertent offending. Let's face it we've all upset someone without meaning to and maybe that might happen less. X


On my iPhone - so cant see tickers

 

[cosmicgirl]

^wss x

 

[Nurse 26]

agree

 

[Emily0505]

I don't think a bf section would cause a divide. I think the majority of us are very accepting that first and foremost it matters that your baby is fed and happy - not WHATS in its tummy.

Yet like cos I feel like I have to censor my feelings on bf so as not to appear 'anti formula' Also when someone asks for help - I don't think the 'your not a failure if you have to give a bottle' are helpful! We know your not a failure, but if everyone is telling you to FF then that kinda advice can be very upsetting as well.

I think separate sections would avoid as MANY inadvertent offending. Let's face it we've all upset someone without meaning to and maybe that might happen less. X


On my iPhone - so cant see tickers

I agree to a certain extent, but i do still think it will divide, but then that may not necessarily be a bad thing tbh.

I think it certainly would help to avoid as many of the inadvertant offendings.

It isn't fair that you have to censor yourself when it comes to bf. Its bloody hard work and you should be proud

Maybe seperate sections are the way to go..

XX

 

[katie_lou]

I FF and your post did not offend me at all cos, I didn't even try Brest feeding and tbh I don't feel guilty about it at all . Each to there own. A happy mummy makes a happy baby .

I find it amazing how women continue to breast feed despite all the problems they are having with sore nipples and baby latching ETC . You deserve a bloody medal and you should be able to say you feel proud of yourself because you have breastfed as its a massive achievement.

I think what everyone needs to remember that of course breast is best but there is nothing wrong with giving your baby formula. Some mummy's don't want there baby to have formula at all and there is nothing wrong with that at all it's a personal choice .

Xxxx

 

[tiaflame]

I FF and your post did not offend me at all cos, I didn't even try Brest feeding and tbh I don't feel guilty about it at all . Each to there own. A happy mummy makes a happy baby .

I find it amazing how women continue to breast feed despite all the problems they are having with sore nipples and baby latching ETC . You deserve a bloody medal and you should be able to say you feel proud of yourself because you have breastfed as its a massive achievement.

I think what everyone needs to remember that of course breast is best but there is nothing wrong with giving your baby formula. Some mummy's don't want there baby to have formula at all and there is nothing wrong with that at all it's a personal choice .

Xxxx

My feelings exactly xx


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