I will not give my baby formula!!!!!!!

[cosmicgirl]

Thanks girls, it's lovely to get support from FF mums too xx

 

[Mrs N]

I just wanted to say I'm not offended by anyone celebrating their success at bfing I bf h for 9 weeks but he got admitted to hospital with failure to thrive where they found out that due to me being so ill after having him my milk was pretty much water so feeling full but not getting the nutrients, I then took the decision to change to ff on medical advice. Another time with more experience perhaps I would demand more help re bfing but I don't regret my decision as h is now happy and healthy. I feel I have done the best for my child as everyone else here has and we should all be proud of our achievement.
I think it wud be a shame to greater the divide between bf and ff by having separate sections but it might help to avoid arguments.
Xxx

 

[willowwisp]

I think if you've chosen to FF (as in decided from the start that you weren't going to BF) then your probably not going to be offended by others success at BF. However if you've tried really hard to BF and for what ever reason or in what ever circumstances been unable to do so or carry on as long as you'd like then I can see how that would be very upsetting and we aren't all rational when we are upset. Text doesn't always come across very well either and it can appear to someone who is feeling a bit sensitive like others are being smug and superior, when the reality of the situation is very different. I think separate sections for FF and BF would be a good idea.

I was told by everyone at the hospital and my midwife/HV etc that I should FF owing to my health, but I've persevered out of sheer stubbornness and I have to top up slightly with formula (0.5oz per feed) but I've stuck with it and LO is putting on weight. It's been horrendous at times, the pain is by-the-by for me, it's more the exhaustion on top of being unwell that has been hard. I'd much rather not give the formula, but in my circumstances I'd rather give 10% formula than 100% formula. Considering I'm severely anaemic still, got an ongoing kidney infection which isn't responding to the antibiotics, lost 40% of my blood volume on the table and have serious digestive issues (serious enough they took baby out at 35 weeks) I'm blinking proud of how much I'm doing.

Going back to the original post, my DH has been real supportive re the BF and he was great at helping us get the latch, but he did make the suggestion of a dummy and I went ballistic! I think they think they are helping/being supportive sometimes, but they just get it totally wrong!

 

[tiaflame]

I don't think there should be a bf/ff divide either, people just need to be grown up and deal with it. And as cosmic knows I'm a ff mummy and was not offended by her post. Maybe just in the title of posts it could say bf post and then if people don't want to read it- then simply don't! We are all adults and people will get upset at times but there's no need for world war 3 to be started every time! I love this forum and have got lots of info, help and support from it and I think it would be a shame to cause a division between bf/ff mummies.
Everyone has their own choice on how they feed their baby and others should respect people's own choices. That is all!! Xx

 

[cosmicgirl]

I think if you've chosen to FF (as in decided from the start that you weren't going to BF) then your probably not going to be offended by others success at BF. However if you've tried really hard to BF and for what ever reason or in what ever circumstances been unable to do so or carry on as long as you'd like then I can see how that would be very upsetting and we aren't all rational when we are upset. Text doesn't always come across very well either and it can appear to someone who is feeling a bit sensitive like others are being smug and superior, when the reality of the situation is very different. I think separate sections for FF and BF would be a good idea.

I was told by everyone at the hospital and my midwife/HV etc that I should FF owing to my health, but I've persevered out of sheer stubbornness and I have to top up slightly with formula (0.5oz per feed) but I've stuck with it and LO is putting on weight. It's been horrendous at times, the pain is by-the-by for me, it's more the exhaustion on top of being unwell that has been hard. I'd much rather not give the formula, but in my circumstances I'd rather give 10% formula than 100% formula. Considering I'm severely anaemic still, got an ongoing kidney infection which isn't responding to the antibiotics, lost 40% of my blood volume on the table and have serious digestive issues (serious enough they took baby out at 35 weeks) I'm blinking proud of how much I'm doing.

Going back to the original post, my DH has been real supportive re the BF and he was great at helping us get the latch, but he did make the suggestion of a dummy and I went ballistic! I think they think they are helping/being supportive sometimes, but they just get it totally wrong!

Wow, you've done really well, hats off to you hun.
Oh yeah, my oh completely thought he was being supportive, he couldn't understand why I was so angry with him. He does now!
Keep up the good work, you're doing brilliantly to BF with the problems you have xx

 

[MrsW84]

Understand what ur saying tiaflame but the title of this post isn't exactly sensitive ....so if it was in a bf section us ff mummies would never even see it
I don't wanna argue I'm v much each to their own but I was offended by the title and the use of so many exclamation marks suggested to me formula is the devils milk before u actually read the post but that's cosmics choice x

 

[cosmicgirl]

I don't think there should be a bf/ff divide either, people just need to be grown up and deal with it. And as cosmic knows I'm a ff mummy and was not offended by her post. Maybe just in the title of posts it could say bf post and then if people don't want to read it- then simply don't! We are all adults and people will get upset at times but there's no need for world war 3 to be started every time! I love this forum and have got lots of info, help and support from it and I think it would be a shame to cause a division between bf/ff mummies.
Everyone has their own choice on how they feed their baby and others should respect people's own choices. That is all!! Xx

I did suggest maybe a warning in the title or something like that but I don't know if that would work.
I really don't know what the answer is.
My original post wasn't about FF, god it wasn't even really about BF, it was completely about lack of support from my oh, but one person in particular still got on their high horse about it (and another couple of lovely ladies felt upset - although were very gracious and understanding in their posts)

I just think that there needs to be a place or a way that ladies can post honestly about BF without the fear of upsetting others or coming across as gloating iykwim x

 

[cosmicgirl]

Understand what ur saying tiaflame but the title of this post isn't exactly sensitive ....so if it was in a bf section us ff mummies would never even see it
I don't wanna argue I'm v much each to their own but I was offended by the title and the use of so many exclamation marks suggested to me formula is the devils milk before u actually read the post but that's cosmics choice x

The title was not an example of my feelings towards formula, I thought it was obvious that that was me aiming my frustration at my oh, shouting at him that "I will not give formula!!!"
Jeez if people are going to take offence at someone saying I will not give my baby formula - just that one sentence, then we've got no chance to have honest discussions have we???
I really don't understand how punctuation can imply any form of description about formula????
I'm speechless!
I've now been accused of calling formula "poison" and "devils milk" - wow!
Just wow!
No where anywhere in this thread have I expressed my feelings or views about formula, I actually said on purpose that I want going to go into my views as not to offend others (read the first post!) but still people have decided for themselves what those views are.
I AM NOT ANTI FF - I JUST DON'T WANT TO GIVE MY BABY FORMULA BECAUSE I WANT TO BF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Is that clear enough??????
I thought this was plainly clear from the original post!!!
Nowhere have I said anything derogatory about FF and maybe if people are finding this thread offensive then that's their own insecurity. I'm sorry but I am not going to defend myself further.
I came here for support but this is now getting ridiculous.
People are trying to put words into my mouth, I did not say any of these things and tbh I'm really upset about this now.

I'm sick of this now, really sick of it.

 

[MrsW84]

Calm down I specifically said that's how it came across to me! Not anyone else .....I can't speak to them but that's the impression I got and yes punctuation does have an impact it describes the tone of the sentence.
It's up to u what u write and what u think I just said In my opinion better to have posts like this in a section where ff mummies don't have to see it if they don't want to
I think it is an insensitive title but that's because I have issues not being able to bf not ur fault It's just hard to see and that's how it comes across when I'm already feeling guilty about not bf....
But there we go I don't think u need to get so angry about it tho !

 

[tiaflame]

Understand what ur saying tiaflame but the title of this post isn't exactly sensitive ....so if it was in a bf section us ff mummies would never even see it
I don't wanna argue I'm v much each to their own but I was offended by the title and the use of so many exclamation marks suggested to me formula is the devils milk before u actually read the post but that's cosmics choice x

The title was not an example of my feelings towards formula, I thought it was obvious that that was me aiming my frustration at my oh, shouting at him that "I will not give formula!!!"
Jeez if people are going to take offence at someone saying I will not give my baby formula - just that one sentence, then we've got no chance to have honest discussions have we???
I really don't understand how punctuation can imply any form of description about formula????
I'm speechless!
I've now been accused of calling formula "poison" and "devils milk" - wow!
Just wow!
No where anywhere in this thread have I expressed my feelings or views about formula, I actually said on purpose that I want going to go into my views as not to offend others (read the first post!) but still people have decided for themselves what those views are.
I AM NOT ANTI FF - I JUST DON'T WANT TO GIVE MY BABY FORMULA BECAUSE I WANT TO BF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Is that clear enough??????
I thought this was plainly clear from the original post!!!
Nowhere have I said anything derogatory about FF and maybe if people are finding this thread offensive then that's their own insecurity. I'm sorry but I am not going to defend myself further.
I came here for support but this is now getting ridiculous.
People are trying to put words into my mouth, I did not say any of these things and tbh I'm really upset about this now.

I'm sick of this now, really sick of it.

Don't worry about it Hun. It's pathetic. People sometimes just want an excuse to get on their high horses! I think half the problem is people only choose to read what they want to read and not the bits that matter! Xx

 

[cosmicgirl]

Calm down I specifically said that's how it came across to me! Not anyone else .....I can't speak to them but that's the impression I got and yes punctuation does have an impact it describes the tone of the sentence.
It's up to u what u write and what u think I just said In my opinion better to have posts like this in a section where ff mummies don't have to see it if they don't want to
I think it is an insensitive title but that's because I have issues not being able to bf not ur fault It's just hard to see and that's how it comes across when I'm already feeling guilty about not bf....
But there we go I don't think u need to get so angry about it tho !

Do you know what love, I'm actually sat here in years now.
Yes, complete strangers have made a 34 year old mum of 5 evaporate into tears.
So you are offended by this because of your own guilt yet have made me feel like utter shit?? Well thank you very much.
Every word I have written has been picked at by a couple of posters on here and I have been treated very unfairly.
I've had horrid words put into my mouth "poison" and "devils milk" WTF??
Nice that isn't it.
I cannot be held responsible for the guilt and insecurity of others.

See what I mean about having to censor BF posts?

 

[cosmicgirl]

Understand what ur saying tiaflame but the title of this post isn't exactly sensitive ....so if it was in a bf section us ff mummies would never even see it
I don't wanna argue I'm v much each to their own but I was offended by the title and the use of so many exclamation marks suggested to me formula is the devils milk before u actually read the post but that's cosmics choice x

The title was not an example of my feelings towards formula, I thought it was obvious that that was me aiming my frustration at my oh, shouting at him that "I will not give formula!!!"
Jeez if people are going to take offence at someone saying I will not give my baby formula - just that one sentence, then we've got no chance to have honest discussions have we???
I really don't understand how punctuation can imply any form of description about formula????
I'm speechless!
I've now been accused of calling formula "poison" and "devils milk" - wow!
Just wow!
No where anywhere in this thread have I expressed my feelings or views about formula, I actually said on purpose that I want going to go into my views as not to offend others (read the first post!) but still people have decided for themselves what those views are.
I AM NOT ANTI FF - I JUST DON'T WANT TO GIVE MY BABY FORMULA BECAUSE I WANT TO BF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Is that clear enough??????
I thought this was plainly clear from the original post!!!
Nowhere have I said anything derogatory about FF and maybe if people are finding this thread offensive then that's their own insecurity. I'm sorry but I am not going to defend myself further.
I came here for support but this is now getting ridiculous.
People are trying to put words into my mouth, I did not say any of these things and tbh I'm really upset about this now.

I'm sick of this now, really sick of it.

Don't worry about it Hun. It's pathetic. People sometimes just want an excuse to get on their high horses! I think half the problem is people only choose to read what they want to read and not the bits that matter! Xx

Thank you hun

I feel like I cannot say anything for fear of offending.
I tried so hard to word my OP as not to offend but still explain the situation only to be accused of horrible things and even my exclamation marks bloody offend people x

 

[tiaflame]

I think this should be locked now, it's getting out of hand, it's not nice to know how upset you are. Not needed either when you've just had a new baby and hormones all over the place.
Keep your chin up. Big hugs xxx

 

[Hope81]

I understand the people that say that they got offended. Though offended is a poor choice of a word. They probably experienced what I did. Their own personal demons. I honestly cried when I read your post but that's not your fault, it's about my failure to successfully bf for longer and your post was a reminder of my own feelings. I don't want to feed my baby formula, I want to give her the best and the best is not formula it's my milk. Will she get more often poorly? Will she have asthma? Will she not be as smart? Why did I let her down?
Any reminder of that will make me cry.

People that they were willing to see above their own problems and beliefs got to what was your real intention here.
I was one of those and though I cried for my own problems I completely felt for you as that's what I feel too.

 

[MrsW84]

Listen of course I didn't wanna make u cry...I would never do that to anyone
I'm sorry ur upset but I think I was just trying to say that it is upsetting to see posts about formula as I have a massive chip on my shoulder about not being able to do it......
As I said that's not ur issue it's mine I just think this would be an easier place to come to if I didn't have to see bf posts as it makes me sad and angry and only confirms in my neurotic head that formula is the devils milk which it's not and I had no choice due to radiotherapy treatment which is why I am So angry...none of that is ur issue and u should have a place to vent about oh but I would rather not see it and with the tite, of this post it was hard not to.......that's all.

 

[cosmicgirl]

I understand the people that say that they got offended. Though offended is a poor choice of a word. They probably experienced what I did. Their own personal demons. I honestly cried when I read your post but that's not your fault, it's about my failure to successfully bf for longer and your post was a reminder of my own feelings. I don't want to feed my baby formula, I want to give her the best and the best is not formula it's my milk. Will she get more often poorly? Will she have asthma? Will she not be as smart? Why did I let her down?
Any reminder of that will make me cry.

People that they were willing to see above their own problems and beliefs got to what was your real intention here.
I was one of those and though I cried for my own problems I completely felt for you as that's what I feel too.

I know that there are ladies who carry immense guilt because BF didn't work for them, I really do, but it's when those feelings of personal guilt are taken out on another person, that's wrong.
There's nothing wrong with anything you have written on this thread hope, you've been gracious and honest, others haven't.
I don't think it's fair.
I just wonder why people have felt the need to write nasty comments, just ignore it.
I said before, I stay away from team pink threads because it upsets me, I'm jealous. I would never ever go on and leave some snotty comment because of my own demons, never.

There seems to be no way to word a BF thread without causing offence and it's getting silly. Jeez, apparently exclamation marks are code for devils milk!!!!

Thanks for the post hope, you're so lovely as always xx

 

[cosmicgirl]

Listen of course I didn't wanna make u cry...I would never do that to anyone
I'm sorry ur upset but I think I was just trying to say that it is upsetting to see posts about formula as I have a massive chip on my shoulder about not being able to do it......
As I said that's not ur issue it's mine I just think this would be an easier place to come to if I didn't have to see bf posts as it makes me sad and angry and only confirms in my neurotic head that formula is the devils milk which it's not and I had no choice due to radiotherapy treatment which is why I am So angry...none of that is ur issue and u should have a place to vent about oh but I would rather not see it and with the tite, of this post it was hard not to.......that's all.

Sorry but don't read it then and don't comment.
If the title offended you then don't open it.
Simple as that.

I'm sorry that you couldn't BF but I can't be sorry that I could.

 

[Rachaellius]

Cos was saying it as in a way as if she was shouting that at her OH for wanting her to give in???

All she wanted was a bit of support and encouragement. There is absolutely no need for some of the comments in here.

Yes it's very upsetting for Mothers who want to bf but can't, I was one of those people because I didn't have a single drop come in. But absolutely nowhere in this thread has Cos slated people for FF!?

For what it's worth Cos I think you're doing a fabulous job and you should be very proud x

 

[cosmicgirl]

Thank you so much Rach, that is completely right.
Thank you xx

 

[knopk@]

I have never seen BF mothers jump on a formula threads saying how could you but there is always someone taking offence at BF topics? Why oh why? We all have our own demons and of course its not nice to feel like a failure but why make others feel bad?
I fibd it difficult to understand as a mother who both BF and FF and i dont get offended, people have their views and as long as they dont go slagging other people off, i dont see a problem.
Cos, just dont pay attention, i know its hard but support is there, from both BF and FF mums.
I have given up explaining my opinion as people see what they want to see without actually reading what i wrote.
I know though that i will get support when my second baby is here, and this forum has invaluable info so i choose to ignore people who are just looking for an argument.
Anyway, i think any further posts about BF i will put "question to BF mothers" so its clear its not aimed at anyone who is not breastfeeding.
Well done once again for sticking to it, there is very little luck involved, its hard work. And you should be proud x

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