I will not give my baby formula!!!!!!!

[FirstBabyEek]

Seriously hats off to your stirling efforts I'm amazed that you've adapted with four other little boys to look after, one keeps me on my toes!!

Just as an aside issue and its not meant to be devicive in any way, but I've been thinking for a while perhaps there should be a separate section for BFing? There are sooo many issues that arise, particularly in the first six weeks or so that I think new and first time mummies would really benefit from being able to discuss it without it Turing into a row. Perhaps this has already been thought of by the mods but I think it would be helpful.

For the record T is FF as he's lactose intolerant confirmed by my Drs, rare I know, but I miss BFing sooo much it was amazing, but he couldn't take the lactose in my foremilk and had to FF. I think I would have benefited from a separate bf section as I trust the opinions given on this site and it might have saved me a lot of heartache in the beginning.
Xx

 

[mummy2b19]

Cos you amaze me i ff and i so wish i had tried harder to carry on bf but a started to lose weight as i reduced the steriods i was given after she was born to correct my bells palsy (i developed it just before i went into labour) but you lady are an insperation. When alex started to lose weight people pushed me to ff and i gave in i certainly wont give in with my next one i will try and find this thread when ever i am stuggling with number 2 (when we concive him/her) to remind myself that you did it through all the problems and complications

well done hun keep up the good work
oh and as a ff mummy your thread in no way offends me just inpires me to try hatrder with number 2 xx

 

[l_maclean]

Just as an aside issue and its not meant to be devicive in any way, but I've been thinking for a while perhaps there should be a separate section for BFing? There are sooo many issues that arise, particularly in the first six weeks or so that I think new and first time mummies would really benefit from being able to discuss it without it Turing into a row. Perhaps this has already been thought of by the mods but I think it would be helpful.

I've seen this on another forum, and thought it would be great. Might help do away with with some of the ff/bf debates.

Well done cos for battling on. It also bugs me when folk say bf is down to
Luck, Apparently Less than 2% of women physically can't bf - yet a lot more claim to be unable, so clearly something is wrong somewhere (prob a lack Of support), but it does make you feel like your hard work counts for nothing.



On my iPhone - so cant see tickers

 

[tweetyfoo]

I think lack of support is a big issue in BFing

I could have easily said "Aaron can't latch on, I can't BF". Before this brings up any more questions, he genuinely can't latch on due to low muscle tone in his tongue which is down to him having DS.

Now he just gets his milk to go, rather than from the tap.

I was very lucky in the hospital that most of the staff encouraged me to express my milk for him. A few hinted at formula now and again but I just told them its not what I wanted and they stopped

 

[knopk@]

Just as an aside issue and its not meant to be devicive in any way, but I've been thinking for a while perhaps there should be a separate section for BFing? There are sooo many issues that arise, particularly in the first six weeks or so that I think new and first time mummies would really benefit from being able to discuss it without it Turing into a row. Perhaps this has already been thought of by the mods but I think it would be helpful.

I've seen this on another forum, and thought it would be great. Might help do away with with some of the ff/bf debates.

Well done cos for battling on. It also bugs me when folk say bf is down to
Luck, Apparently Less than 2% of women physically can't bf - yet a lot more claim to be unable, so clearly something is wrong somewhere (prob a lack Of support), but it does make you feel like your hard work counts for nothing.



On my iPhone - so cant see tickers

I think medically its rare but given the situations (mother poorly after birth, baby wont latch etc) it happens often as there isnt much support available. I only learnt about domperidone from here which is sad.
If i didnt have a supportive husband, not sure i would have BF(although i am very stubborn)
Plus formula is readily available so temptation is huge just to give up. BFing is a hard job in the beginning.

Tapatalking so cant see signatures

 

[Lynds77]

this thread really upset me. And I thought I was over the whole breast feeding failure thing.

i tried. I really did, but this thread makes me feel like I didnt try hard enough and have failed by baby. After reading this thread, yesterday morning, whilst sat in tears i squeezed my nipple and a tiny spot of milk came out.
i then got my nipple shield and attached baby to my boob....... i mean how ridiculous?? I have not breast feed since she was 2.5 weeks old.

Yes I only lasted 2 and a half weeks. I had black and bruised nipples, blood pouring out of my nipple instead of milk, baby would only latch with nipple shields, I had no support, nobody showed me properly at the hospital how to latch her on, and as she wanted to feed for hours through the night I started giving her expressed out of a bottle.

and as i wasnt expressing during the night by supply went way down very very quickly.

I didnt feel like I could comfort my baby by my voice or just being her mum. I felt the only thing that comforted her was my breasts

whenever she saw me she gave me "boob face", which made me feel like a walking pair of udders, and not her mother

it was a constant battle. She would scream and scream until I got her latched on. Then I would cry.

I am too prudish to BF in public, or even in my own house with visitors in. I always slipped off to the bedroom to feed her

LO was wanting half hour on each boob, then was going back for anything between 5-20mins on each boob again. Every 4 hours. So i spent literally half my day feeding. I was exhausted. i didnt sleep for the 3 days I was in hospital, so already was working with a sleep deficit

so I finally "gave up". it was all just far too hard work.

and I still beat myself up about it. I feel that I should have put myself 2nd, and carried on for the sake of my baby, even though neither of us were particularly happy with it.

 

[Nurse 26]

a BF section would be fab, i often dont comment on some threads as it turns in to a debate, its a bit boring reading the same debate over and over.

i think lack of support is the issue, i got none what so ever, was way too determined to give up though. after i had H i got told to walk and push him up to post natal ward then was left for 5 hours to just get on with it, we buzzed and tried to ask for help but there was nobody available to, didnt see a midwife at all till 6 hours after birth!!!, so we struggled but eventually got latch right, but the post natal care was a joke. i was the only one on the ward BFing as there was just no staff to help.

 

[Nurse 26]

this thread really upset me. And I thought I was over the whole breast feeding failure thing.

i tried. I really did, but this thread makes me feel like I didnt try hard enough and have failed by baby. After reading this thread, yesterday morning, whilst sat in tears i squeezed my nipple and a tiny spot of milk came out.
i then got my nipple shield and attached baby to my boob....... i mean how ridiculous?? I have not breast feed since she was 2.5 weeks old.

Yes I only lasted 2 and a half weeks. I had black and bruised nipples, blood pouring out of my nipple instead of milk, baby would only latch with nipple shields, I had no support, nobody showed me properly at the hospital how to latch her on, and as she wanted to feed for hours through the night I started giving her expressed out of a bottle.

and as i wasnt expressing during the night by supply went way down very very quickly.

I didnt feel like I could comfort my baby by my voice or just being her mum. I felt the only thing that comforted her was my breasts

whenever she saw me she gave me "boob face", which made me feel like a walking pair of udders, and not her mother

it was a constant battle. She would scream and scream until I got her latched on. Then I would cry.

I am too prudish to BF in public, or even in my own house with visitors in. I always slipped off to the bedroom to feed her

LO was wanting half hour on each boob, then was going back for anything between 5-20mins on each boob again. Every 4 hours. So i spent literally half my day feeding. I was exhausted. i didnt sleep for the 3 days I was in hospital, so already was working with a sleep deficit

so I finally "gave up". it was all just far too hard work.

and I still beat myself up about it. I feel that I should have put myself 2nd, and carried on for the sake of my baby, even though neither of us were particularly happy with it.

you did great for feeding that long hun, dont feel bad

 

[l_maclean]

lynds. Trying your hardest def doesn't make you a failure. But Maybe this is why we need a bf section - do that pro bf threads can be done with out seeming ' anti formula', and that bf mums can get support to carry on without others feeling guilty that they had to stop. xxx


On my iPhone - so cant see tickers

 

[Jaxx01]

Awww Lynds, It wasn't Cosmics intention to upset anyone. It was the la k of support from get partner which is the reason she posted. I bf my first baby for ONE WEEK that's all I could manage yes I feel bad about it, BUT I know that the pain was starting to affect my bond with him so I decided to stop. He's now a happy and healthy 4 year old! The same with Stanley really, although that was my choice and because I was on my own and with ff it allowed people to help me out with him.

You did what was best for you and baby. Please don't beat yourself up hun xx

 

[cosmicgirl]

Thanks to everyone for the support, it's given me a real boost and allowed me to actually explain calmly to my oh why I got so upset which has really cleared the air, so thank you so much.

This thread is not aimed at FF mums at all, it's not an anti FF thread at all, but I had to mention FF as it is pivotal to the story iykwim. It was COMPLETELY about my lack of support from my oh. (I think that was clear to most ladies).

I would love a BF section. It feels to me that we can't start a pro BF thread or even a "I'm proud BF'ing/proud of my achievement" thread without it seeming like an anti FF thread and mums feeling upset by it. That's sad (for both parties).
I want somewhere where BF mums can celebrate milestones, talk about our enjoyment of BF/expressing without feeling guilty that we are upsetting mums who FF x

 

[cosmicgirl]

Maybe we should put a warning in the title if not another section. Something along the lines of "warning - pro/happy BF thread"?????
Just an idea, then mums wouldn't read it and get upset?? xx

 

[Nurse 26]

sounds like a great idea, a new section would be even better x

 

[cosmicgirl]

Oh yes, a new section would be fab.
I feel that I censor a lot of my joy of BF as not to upset others, I'd love a section where we could shout from the rooftops about BF, maybe even share some mealtime piccies

There should on balance be a FF section where that can be discussed too x

 

[Emily0505]

Isn't it a shame that the need is felt for seperate sections. I wish we could all just be proud of the fact that we feed our babies be it breast milk or formula.

Bf mums shouldn't have to worry that they are making ff mms feel bad and ff mums shouldn't feel bad for giving formula. Lets all just be happy with the fact that our babies have full tummys!

The whole bf/ff debate really really pisses me off. Its up to you how you feed your children and i wish we could all just respect that. It always causes such friction and people feel so defensive over it! No-one seems to care what i gave my seven year old stepson for tea, yet i could easily cause ww3 by starting a thread on b/ff!

Some will bf, some will ff, some will do both and there will be various reasons as to why. Deal and have done with it!!

XX

 

[cosmicgirl]

That is so true Emily and I wish more than anything that that could be true but look at this thread for example.
I posted, I was really upset that my oh was so flippant of my bf, that he could so easily tell me to throw in the towel and FF after all my hard work and that upset me, I didn't want to FF.
It caused ladies to feel upset, to feel guilty that they had to FF.
I feel that a lot of posts about BF, particularly the ladies who are happy with BF and praising each other then turn into "this post upset me, I can't BF for X,Y and Z" and the. The rest of the ladies saying "you did your best etc, etc". See what in saying?
Now I (maybe naively) didn't even think that my rant about my oh would upset ladies who FF but I've managed it somehow.
Now I can't imagine how it feels to have to FF not through choice, I imagine it would lead to a world of guilt and heartbreak but I have no experience at all. BUT I do feel like there needs to be an out let for BF ladies to say "wow!! I've bf my lo for 6 months now, it's amazing, I'm so proud of myself" etc etc.
Could you imagine the responses to that???
It would kick off completely!!
That's why there needs to be a separate section. When ladies have commented saying that my thread upset them it hurt me, firstly because that wasn't my intention at all but secondly because I felt that I couldn't post my true feelings about BF.

I hope you understand what in trying to say.
I also think a FF section would be good, to give these ladies an outlet too. Maybe they don't want to see gushing BF posts, but that doesn't mean that BF ladies shouldn't be able to have somewhere to post pro-BF posts.
I'm rambling now but one last point - pro-BF doesn't necessarily mean anti FF x

 

[knopk@]

Separate section would be probably better as what happens is when someone posts about BF help, often the replies are just along the lines of - dont beat yourself up for giving formula.
But what the person needs is different type of support to continue with BF. Same as cosmic posted.
People tend to project their own feelings and experience rather than giving constructive advice and there is nothing wrong with it but it doesnt really help.
Plus i.agree, FF mums will mosts likely be offended which is not the intention but its a close to heart issue as quite a few had problems and felt like a failure.
I remeber crying when i had to give my son formula but i got over it and planning for the next baby now i have the experience.

Tapatalking so cant see signatures

 

[cosmicgirl]

I agree, you wrote it much better than me x

 

[Me, My Girls & I]

I've been racking my brains trying to think how to reply to this, total brain freeze day! I completely empathise with the situation! I did a lot of head biting off with K! Particularly mil who kept asking when I was going to FF so other people could feed her etc! And the people who told Me I was brave for bf they got told that I'd pushed an almost 10lb baby out my fandango, so feeding her as nature planned certainly wasn't brave I think to me it was a case of, this is my baby, I was given the equipment to feed her and I'm going to do my absolute damndest to do so! I did have issues with formula too, not necessarily because of what it was, more that I felt I should be able to do it myself iykwim?

In the end I had to switch to FF when she was 4 months as my milk dried up! I was devastated cos I'd spent weeks glued to the sofa feeding literally for an hour every hour! I cried bucket loads, I really did! E ended up being FF from day 2 as I just really struggled with it and was a single mum too!

But yea, I've got myself sidetracked! I did knownfrom your original post tho that it was a rant about your OH and not about FF

 

[Emily0505]

That is so true Emily and I wish more than anything that that could be true but look at this thread for example.
I posted, I was really upset that my oh was so flippant of my bf, that he could so easily tell me to throw in the towel and FF after all my hard work and that upset me, I didn't want to FF.
It caused ladies to feel upset, to feel guilty that they had to FF.
I feel that a lot of posts about BF, particularly the ladies who are happy with BF and praising each other then turn into "this post upset me, I can't BF for X,Y and Z" and the. The rest of the ladies saying "you did your best etc, etc". See what in saying?
Now I (maybe naively) didn't even think that my rant about my oh would upset ladies who FF but I've managed it somehow.
Now I can't imagine how it feels to have to FF not through choice, I imagine it would lead to a world of guilt and heartbreak but I have no experience at all. BUT I do feel like there needs to be an out let for BF ladies to say "wow!! I've bf my lo for 6 months now, it's amazing, I'm so proud of myself" etc etc.
Could you imagine the responses to that???
It would kick off completely!!
That's why there needs to be a separate section. When ladies have commented saying that my thread upset them it hurt me, firstly because that wasn't my intention at all but secondly because I felt that I couldn't post my true feelings about BF.
U
I hope you understand what in trying to say.
I also think a FF section would be good, to give these ladies an outlet too. Maybe they don't want to see gushing BF posts, but that doesn't mean that BF ladies shouldn't be able to have somewhere to post pro-BF posts.
I'm rambling now but one last point - pro-BF doesn't necessarily mean anti FF x

I totally get what your trying to say and i think seperate sections for bf and ff may stop the neverending cycle of arguments, but it will also only widen the divide between bf and ff. Its just such a shame its come to this.

I can see why ff mums may take offence to some threads and i also totally get why bf mums want to post about how well they are doing with bf.

I ff but LOVE bf so so much but the milk just wasn't there. I had so much bf support too, i had help to latch him at every feed day and nignt, until we could do it ourselves and access to hospital grade pumps, both for a week (the bonus of a longer stay in hospital) and in the end it came so naturally and i loved it. But despite everything i tried he lost weight and i couldn't sustain him on my milk alone. We were very nearly readmitted to the hospital again. I tried evrything to increase my milk- feeding on demand, skin to skin, expressing, domperidone, fenugreek, fennel tea, breast massage but it just didn't happen. The most i ever expressed was eight mls!! I combi fed for seven weeks which was such hard work but meant i could still bf and he put on weight as he got enough from the added formula.

But even now, i still question and think what if i had just tried that little bit harder, but that stems from me, no-one else. No-one can make me feel bad or guilty about my decisions except me. Sure certain posts may lead my train of thought in that direction, but i am responsible for how i let others make me feel and how i let these things affect me (not sure I've explained that too well).

I think when it comes to bf/ff EVERYONE is immediately on the defensive and there really is no need to be.

XX