How do you REALLY feel right now about TTC?

[Olive]

Just wondering how everyone really feels right now about ttc? When I was wtt, I couldn't wait to start trying. Now, I'm on my fourth/fifth month and I just feel so stressed about it all.

1. I constantly wonder if it will happen/what if I can't have babies
2. I over analyse every "symptom"
3. I worry OH drinks too much and this can affect fertility (he does), but it's a hard subject to discuss (truth hurts)
4. I feel like we both want a baby, but the majority of the time, I'm the only one who puts any thought or effort in to it
5. I feel like when we bd, I put too much pressure on OH
6. I'm annoyed I've told a few friends we're trying, as they can't help but ask!
7. I feel like I'm being an idiot, as we really haven't been ttc that long in the grand scheme of things
8. I'm fed up

How do you feel?

xxx

 

[LouiseB]

Aw Laura

I kind of feel that I'm so overwhelmed with feelings that I don't feel anything anymore.

Any feelings of self pity are replaced with guilt because someone is always worse off.

Any feelings of hope are stomped out by the cautionary tales of lessons learned.

Tonight for example, I can see a second line on my hpt and all the previous ones are completely blank but I don't feel happy or excited, I feel sad and angry because I know it's a lie.

So I try to hide away from everything, pretending that I'm relaxing and not thinking of ttc but it's all I think about all day long.

And I completely agree with what you say about feeling like your the only one who really wants a baby too xx

 

[KellyHook]

Me and my OH have only been ttc since begining of november... as i came off the implant and was told that i would be ovulating withing a couple of days after it being removed....
Symptoms that could be related to pregnancy i think...IM PREGNANT!!
Everytime we have sex i think.... IM PREGNANT!!!
Its all i ever think about, and we have only been trying for 22days..

its also soo hard as i havent had a period since april, so im constantly looking out for my period!!

With my my daughter i found out i was 5weeks pregnant after doing a hpt, she wasnt planned, but ttc with our 2nd baby is total different as its always on my mind!!!

i just want to be pregant soon!!!!!

Hope you get your BFP soon!!!

Kelly xx

 

[Olive]

Any feelings of hope are stomped out by the cautionary tales of lessons learned.

xxxxx

And I completely agree with what you say about feeling like your the only one who really wants a baby too xx

Thank you xxxx

Louise, I've missed you. Please come back! (ok, being selfish, but I do really miss you!) I nearly had a cry when I saw you had replied.

What was the line like? Really hope it is a line for you.xxxxx

 

[Olive]

Symptoms that could be related to pregnancy i think...IM PREGNANT!!
Everytime we have sex i think.... IM PREGNANT!!!

Thanks Kelly Just having one of those days!

Hope your period comes soon, or better still, no period and just straight to a

Good luck to you too hun, hope you get a BFP soon.

xxxx

 

[KellyHook]

Thanks, i hope i dont get a period! Ive read about a lot of people who came off implant and a month later they find out they are 3weeks pregnant... so im hoping im like one of those's people!!!

kelly xx

 

[Tracey M]

Totally different experience ttc than when I got pregnant with son. I came off pill and genuinely did not expect to get pregnant for a year! So when I got bfp immediately I was gobsmacked.

This time I've gone from wwt and got super frustrated they could not get my coil out but I found the forum and all you lovely ladies were so supportive! Its like an addiction....not only my own journey but everyone else too. I feel the friendship, the love, the support is amazing!

Don't think I like ttc as it consumes my mind way, way too much. I'm so impatient and when I want something badly I want it now so this first month has been the longest in my life and therefore my heart goes out to all the couples out There who have been ttc for such a long time makes me feel kinda humble.....

 

[star fish]

No. 1 - 6 took the words right out of my mouth

 

[Lilelephant]

I feel like there is something wrong with me!

 

[ScotchEgg]

One day I feel impatient and the next I feel thankful that it hasn’t happened yet because I really don’t know how I’ll cope with the change involved with becoming a mother and (big deal to me) I’m not 100% sure I want to share my OH’s attention.

Then I tell myself that’s all silly and I can’t wait for it to happen.

I found it occupied my every waking thought for the first 2 months, then I found here and I’ve been able to get it out 2 or 3 times a day and then get on with life. I think it was not saying anything to anyone – having a big secret – that made it so hard.

I feel guilty that I can’t give my husband the thing he wants most in the world. I want it too, but I know he has wanted it for years and I made us be so careful because just one sperm could get through and now that one sperm isn’t getting through!

And I vary wildly between yearning for it and not wanting it to happen. I know it’s fear of the unknown in part, but I think it’s mainly that I’m so happy with my life and my relationship that I don’t really want that to change. I know a child will be hard work and put pressure on our relationship, but it’s so fun right now I’m really scared of that change.

But most of all I LOVE the closeness that the extra s*x has brought to our relationship and how in love we both are all the time at the moment and it reminds me that if it takes a few more months it’s not so bad.

 

[sarah1]

At the moment (it changes regularly) I am kind of agreeing with ScotchEgg and have realised that if it takes a few months more then that's ok, because my OH and I are so in love and enjoying our marriage.

After the MC I just wanted to be pg again but I think that's more my body's way of dealing with it than mine if that makes sense. Hubby always said he didn't want to be an 'old dad' - hes older than me - and wanted kids right away. But we chatted other wk and now he doesn't mind if it takes ages and wants to just enjoy what we have, I think that pressure off has helped us relax.

Mrs Mc I know what you mean also - sometimes I wonder if now there is something wrong too. I have realised though that it can easily become an obsession, and I doubt it helps to be testing all the time and worrying. Having said that, we prob never BD at the right time now haha, but hey ho at least we are relaxed! I have moments of 'grrr why aren't I pg when everyone else is!?' but then remember that its not a race and everything goes at its own pace xxxx

 

[maybe baby]

Hi Girls,

I can relate to everything everyone has said, but we have to keep going as even though it has been a long time for some of us and is hard at times, we have put so much into getting preggers that we owe it too ourselves to keep going.

Each cycle you only have a 25% chance of getting preggers and we should remember it is kind of down to luck whether we get a BFP and try not to worry. (should really listen to my own advice! Lol!)

Good Luck anyway girls!!

xx

 

[kizzibea]

I've been sat here nodding yes to just about everything you girls have said.

Some of mine are:
1. Sometimes I feel really positive about it all and other times I feel so totally hopeless I end up convinced that it's never going to happen.
2. I wonder if there's anything I've done wrong in the past that's stopping it from happening, or anything OH has done that's stopping it.
3. Sometimes I secretly hope that if there is a problem, that it's not with me because I'm not sure I'd want to go through all the tests and things.
4. Sometimes OH says or does something that makes me wonder why we're doing it and then when I'm not pregnant that month I wonder if that little falling out is what stopped it from happening.
5. Sometimes I think that perhaps it's just as well that it hasn't happened yet because as much as I'm dying to be a mother, I'm worried about how it'll affect our life.

But on the whole I do try to stay positive. And I keep my little notebook and make a record of everything. Because that's the way I work.

 

[ScotchEgg]

And I keep my little notebook and make a record of everything. Because that's the way I work.

Brilliant - I have a spreadsheet - don't know how I'd survive without it! Has more than TTC on, it's my whole life!

 

[kizzibea]

lol my notebook started out as just ttc stuff but it's got other little notes in as well. OH calls it my sex book because I always scribble in it after

 

[LouiseB]

Louise, I've missed you. Please come back! (ok, being selfish, but I do really miss you!) I nearly had a cry when I saw you had replied.

What was the line like? Really hope it is a line for you.xxxxx

Aw, i felt a little emotional when i just saw this - i think i'm around again now, i've already been bombarding you with PM's lol

You'll see the line in the Am i Pregnant? section but i'm starting to think they are evil evaps

 

[Piglet's Mama]

I am the biggest worrier going, you name it and I am worrying about it.

Don't have any doubts about having a baby and the impact on our relationship though, it just feels like its the next step for us... I guess I feel like our relationship is totally solid and whatever happens we will keep getting stronger together x

 

[Samsgirl]

One day I feel impatient and the next I feel thankful that it hasn’t happened yet because I really don’t know how I’ll cope with the change involved with becoming a mother and (big deal to me) I’m not 100% sure I want to share my OH’s attention.

Then I tell myself that’s all silly and I can’t wait for it to happen.

I found it occupied my every waking thought for the first 2 months, then I found here and I’ve been able to get it out 2 or 3 times a day and then get on with life. I think it was not saying anything to anyone – having a big secret – that made it so hard.

I feel guilty that I can’t give my husband the thing he wants most in the world. I want it too, but I know he has wanted it for years and I made us be so careful because just one sperm could get through and now that one sperm isn’t getting through!

And I vary wildly between yearning for it and not wanting it to happen. I know it’s fear of the unknown in part, but I think it’s mainly that I’m so happy with my life and my relationship that I don’t really want that to change. I know a child will be hard work and put pressure on our relationship, but it’s so fun right now I’m really scared of that change.

But most of all I LOVE the closeness that the extra s*x has brought to our relationship and how in love we both are all the time at the moment and it reminds me that if it takes a few more months it’s not so bad.

omg...it's like i wrote that....everything you said and feel is exactly the same as me.. sp glad i am not alone xxx

 

[Olive]

Hey ladies,

Thanks for all the replies to this thread, it's good to know we all feel pretty similar about things at times. I'm a bit worrier too. I worry about everything. Confession - my worst "thing" at the moment is i'll say things to myself like, if x happens/doesn't happen, then it means I will/won't get my bfp. Lol. Every night I drive over a bridge over a train line and I look down and think if I see a train, it means I won't get a bfp. How insane is that?! Honestly, my brain is overloaded and pretty strange! lol. I drive myself crazy. Bet no one can say they do that! ha ha.

Baby dust to everyone.xxxxxxxx



Lou - pm'd you back.xxxx

 

[Piglet's Mama]

Hey ladies,

Thanks for all the replies to this thread, it's good to know we all feel pretty similar about things at times. I'm a bit worrier too. I worry about everything. Confession - my worst "thing" at the moment is i'll say things to myself like, if x happens/doesn't happen, then it means I will/won't get my bfp. Lol. Every night I drive over a bridge over a train line and I look down and think if I see a train, it means I won't get a bfp. How insane is that?! Honestly, my brain is overloaded and pretty strange! lol. I drive myself crazy. Bet no one can say they do that! ha ha.

Baby dust to everyone.xxxxxxxx



Lou - pm'd you back.xxxx

OMG - I thought I was the only one. Earlier I said to myself "if there's a pack of Frazzles left, I'll get my BFP!" PATHETIC! X