what a relief, i'm so glad to know i have all your support, i wasnt sure how ppl would react but as i said i'm not going to lie to you!
anyway this is just to give a massive thank you to everyone who has replied, i think you all know it means a whole lot to me.
the only people that know are my OH and my sister whos gone away to bristol so this is pretty much the only place i'll be able to come when i'm feeling rubbish!
so anyway thank you so much..a million hugs to you all!