Have I Let Daniel Down? re: breast feeding!

[kazlin]

I keep reading how breast is best etc, have come across a few people who seem to look down on women who bottle feed and now I am starting to feel that I have let Daniel down!

I wanted to breast feed/express before I gave birth to him but was advised against it. The reason is that I have for a while now been on a low dose of antidepressants and the MW said that she didn't know if there was a contrainindication connected with this brand and breast feeding.

I was told to stay on the antidepressants during and for a while after the pregnancy. I had wanted to come off of them when I found out I was pregnant, but the doctor advised me against it saying that he didn't want me to incase my mood dropped suddenly. You have to come off of them gradually which I hope to do in a few months.

Do you think I am letting Daniel down? Please be honest!

 

[Rosieroo]

I don't think you let him down as you did what was advised and was thought best.

I think that your doctor and MW could have been more supportive of you wanting to breastfeed and could have looked into whether the brand would affect babe and if so whether you could change. I know that you can take some antidepressants whilst breastfeeding but not others.

Ultimately the choice was made, your baby is loved and thriving so try not to feel bad about it. There is nothing you can do about it now so don't upset yourself unneccessarily by thinking you're a bad mum when you're not

 

[Krystal]

You definately did NOT and have NOT let Daniel down. Your a fantastic mummy and you obviously love him very very much. Thats what a baby needs.

TBH i've come across those ones who look down their nose at bottle feeders and they are just as bad as the pompous twits who comment when women breastfeed in public

You have a reason for not breastfeeding him, not that it matters though hun. Whether you decide to bottle feed or are pushed into it due to circumstance you shouldn't feel guilty. Formula has been doing the job for years and yes we all know breast is best but formula isn't poison!

All Daniel needs is love and I know he has got that from you and some!

Don't ever doubt yourself and don't let anyone else make you feel bad. Your lovely

 

[kazlin]

Kina and Sweetcheeks, thank you so much for your replies

 

[Squiglet]

Kazlin...you silly bean... You love Daniel and he is happy and healthy... thats all that matters... Those people who look down on mummies of bottle babies, shouldn't... the usual excuse is what happened before formula... well the Infant mortality rate was a lot higher than it is now...

I think all women should try if they can (because its a great excuse to loose weight and get cuddles ) but its not something that always can happen or is advised... We are just lucky that we have formula now to fall back on... there are many medical reason why its inadvisable to bf'd and yours is one of them... maybe having Daniel will lift your mood so next time () you can bf'd...

But bfing is such a short period of time, its really not a huge aspect of your LO's life... and being a mummy of an 8 year old I can ASSURE you that there will be many other things that will happen that will make you realise what a superb job you've done being Daniels mummy...

 

[kazlin]

Thank you Squig

 

[mrs_tommo22]

You did not let daniel down - your fantastic mum who loves your son to bits, how on earth could you let him down?

Breastfeeding/bottlefeeding doesnt matter in my opinion, as long as their fed and happy and thriving on their mummys love. Then dont matter!

 

[-Kelly-]

You didn't let him down at all you did what was best for your health, and in turn you did what was right for Daniel - if you're happy then you're able to be a better mum. I'm rubbish at this advice stuff, but please try not to feel guilty

 

[lisa&alex]

im a breastfeeder.. and although i would love for every woman to try and give their baby colostrum at the very least.. as it helps them to be protected for the 1st 6 months of life.. when there are reasons why women cant.. like you couldnt then theres no other way to go about it but letting yourself feel guilty is a really useless emotion if you had breastfed him god knows what state you could have turned out in by comming off antidepressents and if you had breastfed with taking them it could have effect daniel. you have completly done the best thing for you and for daniel and for you.. so dont beat yourself up.. dont let others beat you up about it.. be happy be healthy and dont stress out..

i think that breastfeeders feel emotionally strong about the topic because its an emotional thing to do.. and breastfeeds want mums to experience what they do..and what their babies do.. thats the only way i can describe why i would try to help a mum to breastfeed.

 

[beanie]

I don't think you let him down as you did what was advised and was thought best.

I think that your doctor and MW could have been more supportive of you wanting to breastfeed and could have looked into whether the brand would affect babe and if so whether you could change. I know that you can take some antidepressants whilst breastfeeding but not others.

Ultimately the choice was made, your baby is loved and thriving so try not to feel bad about it. There is nothing you can do about it now so don't upset yourself unneccessarily by thinking you're a bad mum when you're not

I agree with Kina, and couldn't put it any better. I am a big believer in breastfeeding and its benefits BUT I do not think that I am a better mum for breastfeeding nor do I feel that any woman who does not do so loves her child any less. Thats just absurd. Reading your post, I can see straight away that Daniel is one loved little boy and that is all that matters, much more then how he was fed in what will be a short period in his life. Please don't waste any more time worrying about this. I never look down my nose at bottle feeding mums, as I know that we all do what we feel is best for our baby.

I am angry for you though that you were given bad advice. I took ad's and breastfed but there is no advice out there and TBH if it hadn't been for the fact I was an established breastfeeder and had a good supply of info at that time I would have probably not breastfed either. I do believe though that mental illness is far more harmful for a child then not being breastfed, and if it had come to a choice about ad's or breastfeeding I would have chosen the ad's.

 

[kazlin]

Thanks girls, I was feeling quite down about this but you have all really perked me up and helped me to see things quite differently. You are all stars xx

 

[pilkers]

kazlin...you haven't let him down at all... you've done the best for him hun x what you ingest comes out in your breast milk...

I've never really mentioned it before but I didn't BF for similar reasons. I was taking medication during pregnancy to regulate a condition and I had wanted to try and BF as it turns out I wasn't able to BF because of the medication.

I haven't regretted it because even tho Evie did miss out on the colostrum etc she is still thriving and BFing would have done much more harm than giving her a bottle

Please don't beat yourself up about it...

 

[Fluffy Bunny]

Kazlin, of course you haven't let Daniel down

Daniel needs a happy, healthy mummy and thats what hes got. If that means you needed to stay on the antidepressants for a bit, so be it.

 

[trixipaws]

aww, u havent let him down of course not!
its a shame bottle-feeding mums are made to feel inadequate. i hope iv never unwittingly made any such mums feel so
iv done 8 months breast-feeding and 4 months bottle-feeding so i can compare first hand- with the "control group" being my baby- and u kno what there's no difference! she has been just as contented and perfect a little princess either way!

 

[nancy]

It sounds to me like you have done completely the right thing. I'm pro breast feeding but I firmly believe you must look after yourself too and if coming off the tablets is going to make you feel down then both of you would have suffered. It sounds to me like you are a fab mummy regardless of how you feed. Like someone else has said formula isn't poison.x

 

[DebbieM]

NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!

It takes more than milk to keep a baby happy and you're obviously doing perfectly as Daniel is happy an gorgeous!!!!!!!!!!

So there!

 

[Magic Monkey]

No you haven't let him down , it is far better that you are well enough to look after him and bottle feeding, than you are depressed and breast feeding.

No one has the right to judge anyone for bottle feeding, it doesn't mean you love your baby any less or that you are a bad mum. It really winds me up that by encouraging women to breast feed, society has made women who don't, feel like this. We should all leave each other alone to bring up our babies the way that we choose to.

 

[muppetmummy]

you have no reason to feel bad, as others have said you'd be no use to him depressed

 

[Urchin]

Kalin, you did the right thing for you and your baby, breast or bottle feeding is only a very small part of a babies life, theres so much more to being a mum

 

[GBLiz]

ditto what everyone else has said....if you'd have come off the meds and got severe PND it would have been far worse for everyone.