haunted by an image

[blessed83]

evening girls.
today my friend and i popped in to the city centre for tea and cakes and as we walked into the mall there was a heavily pregnant lady (id say 35weeks) stood outside smoking a ciggie. all i could vision was her womb filling with smoke and i really wanted to go and pull the damn thing out of her hand. it has made me so mad and now i feel quite upset because i cant get the image out of my head. i appreciate giving up smoking is hard as i am an ex smoker myself, the day i found out i was pregnant the cigs went in the bin and i havent looked back, but crikey she wasnt even ashamed to be seen smoking in public like that.
this is not one of those ex smokers rants i promise, this has really affected me.
am i over reacting??

 

[Alicebabe]

No I hate it too. When I was 18, my best mate was pregnant. One day we went to town shopping and she lit up - I was so embarrassed to be seen with her smoking but I didn't have the guts to say anything to her about it. I could see people giving us evil looks.

As long as you are doing the best for your baby, thats all that matters hun xx

 

[blessed83]

i know its just hard to shake the image, she saw me staring too but i couldnt help it.
xxxx

 

[fran_23]

evening girls.
today my friend and i popped in to the city centre for tea and cakes and as we walked into the mall there was a heavily pregnant lady (id say 35weeks) stood outside smoking a ciggie. all i could vision was her womb filling with smoke and i really wanted to go and pull the damn thing out of her hand. it has made me so mad and now i feel quite upset because i cant get the image out of my head. i appreciate giving up smoking is hard as i am an ex smoker myself, the day i found out i was pregnant the cigs went in the bin and i havent looked back, but crikey she wasnt even ashamed to be seen smoking in public like that.
this is not one of those ex smokers rants i promise, this has really affected me. am i over reacting??

i was the same as you i gave up straight away- took it up again now but could not smoke at all while i was preggers i would have felt terrible!! at my antenatal class a few of the mums to be were asking where the smoking area was
Also i was talking to this girl at the bus stop she has a 1yr old a 3yr old and was telling me shes 6 months pregnant- we were chatting away and next thing i kow she takes out her cigs and lights up...i didn't know where
to look..she had no shame! i get that some ppl find it harder to give up but some women make no effort at all and could'nt care a less they dont even hide it..! i don't understand i used to smoke at least 20 a day..and if i went out drinking it was more, and i gave up straight away!

 

[nori]

It makes me mad mad mad!!! So mad i told a friend of mine that if i ever saw her sister smoking whilst heavily pregnant (which she does) i will say something. I know its not my place to get involved but someone has to speak up for the baby thats getting the brunt of it.

This may annoy some people out there but i would go as far to say people who smoke whilst pregnant dont deserve that baby.. sorry.. its something i am so passionate about ( and i did use to smoke so appreciate its hard to give up)

I will shush now..

Claire x

 

[blessed83]

fran,
glad you understand what i mean. i never say never as one day i may smoke again but as long as i have to sit down to pee my children wil not breathe 2nd hand smoke from me thats for sure nore will i fill their womb with the blasted stuff. your right it is embarrassing and it was one of those moments where i couldnt help but stare!!

 

[blessed83]

It makes me mad mad mad!!! So mad i told a friend of mine that if i ever saw her sister smoking whilst heavily pregnant (which she does) i will say something. I know its not my place to get involved but someone has to speak up for the baby thats getting the brunt of it.

This may annoy some people out there but i would go as far to say people who smoke whilst pregnant dont deserve that baby.. sorry.. its something i am so passionate about ( and i did use to smoke so appreciate its hard to give up)

I will shush now..

Claire x

100% with you on that one.x

 

[nicola200]

Hi,

I am a non smoker and totally agree with all that's been said, however I think it's just plain hurtful to say that a person who smokes doesn't deserve their baby. I know mothers to be who are trying their damndest to quit smoking, some successfully and others not so successfully and am aware of the shame, embarrassment and feeling of total failure they feel because of it.

I appreciate this is just an opinion, but I think a little judgemental. So who does deserve to have a baby?

Nicola
x

 

[hennaly]

i have to say it makes me mad however you have to think that maybe this lady has cut right back from being a heavy smoker to just the odd one that you saw her have.
Im a serious chocoholic and i know how damned hard it is not to have it so i can understand how hard it is to give up smoking.
Lets just hope she is trying to give up.

 

[blessed83]

Hi,

I am a non smoker and totally agree with all that's been said, however I think it's just plain hurtful to say that a person who smokes doesn't deserve their baby. I know mothers to be who are trying their damndest to quit smoking, some successfully and others not so successfully and am aware of the shame, embarrassment and feeling of total failure they feel because of it.

I appreciate this is just an opinion, but I think a little judgemental. So who does deserve to have a baby?

Nicola
x

i appreciate your comment but i think we must agree to disagree with that part. i feel that if i saw a mother tag a drag and blow it directly into their babys face it is no different to smoking when pregnant, that baby has no option but to take in the poison and fumes.
for me its about giving your child a chance. if you are trying your hardest to quit best of luck and well done, i am talking about the mothers who choose to smoke.

 

[~*Leanne*~]

No your not over-reacting at all - I can imagine that it must be difficult to stop smoking but i feel that when you know you are putting your unborn baby at risk just so you can have a fag would certainly stop most people from putting that cig in their mouth!!!

Someone at work who is pregnant stopped completely, i think she said about 15 weeks, but she seriously cut down even though she had smoked for years. i know it must be hard to stop but you have to make the effort - and i know some people dont!!

Before i was pregnant, it was sometime last yeah i was down town drinking and went to toilet in a nightclub when i saw a lass in there drinking an alcopop - looking a bit worse for wear, and she must have been at least 6 months pregnant with the size of her tummy!!!

not only smoking and drinking but my mates parents owned a pub and last year a lass who we went to school with started working behind the bar, she got pregnant and my mate told me that throughout her pregnancy she would sit and drink alcohol and smoke - even in the pub where people could see her!!!! she had no shame obviously and my mate said she had told her she was doing drugs too - this girl was TOLD by the hospital that her baby was measuring small - obviously becuase of the drink, drugs, fags - but she still carried on - it makes me blood boil - how the hell can you put your unborn baby at risk like that?!?!?!!?

 

[~*Leanne*~]

No your not over-reacting at all - I can imagine that it must be difficult to stop smoking but i feel that when you know you are putting your unborn baby at risk just so you can have a fag would certainly stop most people from putting that cig in their mouth!!!

Someone at work who is pregnant stopped completely, i think she said about 15 weeks, but she seriously cut down even though she had smoked for years. i know it must be hard to stop but you have to make the effort - and i know some people dont!!

Before i was pregnant, it was sometime last yeah i was down town drinking and went to toilet in a nightclub when i saw a lass in there drinking an alcopop - looking a bit worse for wear, and she must have been at least 6 months pregnant with the size of her tummy!!!

not only smoking and drinking but my mates parents owned a pub and last year a lass who we went to school with started working behind the bar, she got pregnant and my mate told me that throughout her pregnancy she would sit and drink alcohol and smoke - even in the pub where people could see her!!!! she had no shame obviously and my mate said she had told her she was doing drugs too - this girl was TOLD by the hospital that her baby was measuring small - obviously becuase of the drink, drugs, fags - but she still carried on - it makes me blood boil - how the hell can you put your unborn baby at risk like that?!?!?!!?

 

[blessed83]

here here leanne
xx

 

[lea m]

I hate it too! I gets me so upset!
I smoked before Joseph and quit when I saw the BFP! Same again with the others (silly me started smoking when I had had a drink) but NEVER while pregnant! Its only 9 months! I know it must be harder for some but Im not wonder women! If I can stop 3 times Im sure others can at least give it a good go! Some just dont even care!

 

[nori]

I really dont think we can use the excuse that "people find it hard to quit" I'm sorry but its not about that person anymore.. the child comes first! I wonder if people would be as understanding if a heroin addict was jacking up whilst pregnant. Its a drug.. you stop.. end of.. no excuses! If you cant stop then you dont get pregnant. I just hope if their babies are born with deformities they can live with themselves cos i know i couldnt.

 

[Daggers]

hmmm don't know why I'm shocked, probably cause I haven't seen any preggers ladies puffing away myself, I'm sure if I did I would give a nasty look as well (sorry).
Re giving up I think it really all boils down to whether the person actually really does want to give up, if you don't then chances are you won't and vice versa. I only used to be a social smoker (sadly!) so giving up was never a problem. My OH was also a smoker and found that giving up was not a big thing if it was a choice he wanted to make, but then again niether of us have addictive personalities (well other than my sweet tooth ).
I just don't think it's fair to your unborn baba, it's 9 / 10 months of your life, guess if you really wanted to have a baba then making the effort to quit would happen without question?

 

[nicola200]

I'm really not arguing with the fact that smoking while pregnant isn't healthy and carries increased risk to the baby who has no choice, however I do think a distinction should be made between a person who is trying to give up and is having NRT or smoking very small amounts compared with a person who just doesn't give a toss. I certainly don't think it can be compared with heroin addiction, I work with addicts and many other problems come hand in hand with heroin addiction.

Caffeine is a drug which has been found to affect babies during pregnancy, so should coffee drinkers refrain from having children. What about individuals who are over weight or people who choose to have children in their mid thirties or above, all have shown to increase risk while pregnant and all can be prevented. The fact is no one is perfect, but most educate themselves and try their best to avoid all that may affect their pregnancies. I just kind of think some of the statements that have been made are very hurtfull and instead of educating and supporting pregnant smokers to give up has probably reduced them to tears with statements like "don't deserve" and "hope if their babies are born with deformaties they can live with themselves". I bet the same comments would not be made to a coffee drinker, a person who is over weight or a mature mother.

 

[NICCI]

i must say that reading this i am shocked at some of the opinions! i have a smoking midwife and i am using nrt, but from time to time i do slip up (i am only human) how dare anyone tell me i dont deserve my baby!!! i have an education i am married i am not over weight i own my own home and car and can guarentee that my baby will be loved and looked after!! it is one of the hardest things that i have ever had to do!! after speaking to my my midwife bout my occasional slip ups and explaining how incredibly guilty i feel after, she explained that most of the pregnant mums she sees fail and that i should be proud of myself for doing well!

 

[NICCI]

i must say that reading this i am shocked at some of the opinions! i have a smoking midwife and i am using nrt, but from time to time i do slip up (i am only human) how dare anyone tell me i dont deserve my baby!!! i have an education i am married i am not over weight i own my own home and car and can guarentee that my baby will be loved and looked after!! it is one of the hardest things that i have ever had to do!! after speaking to my my midwife bout my occasional slip ups and explaining how incredibly guilty i feel after, she explained that most of the pregnant mums she sees fail and that i should be proud of myself for doing well!

 

[nori]

If ive offended anyone then i do apologies but its what i believe so i wont apologies for my opinions. I think its wrong and i dont think there are any excuses. Im sorry for the way i have worded it and i tend to speak before i think so again im sorry if i have upset anyone.

I still believe what i believe though and that wont ever change.

Claire x