Harry's Journey

[kanga86]

Well seeing as I had a ttc journal and a pregnancy journal I thought it was about time to start my parenting journal My birth story can be found here for anyone interested:

Harry Michael Albray was born 11 days late on Friday 6th July 2012 at 3:43am by emergency c section weighing 7lbs 1oz

First day
So after moving from recovery back to the labour ward, me and Harry had to be checked out because I was still recovering from spinal and had a high pulse rate and he had to be checked for strep B. It was hard being laid on the bed unable to do anything for Harry due to being numb, I didn't do my first nappy until 8pm that night. I didn't get any sleep during the day due to being so overwhelmed with his arrival and completely besotted with him, I couldn't stop looking at him. The first night was hard as I was on my own and really struggled to move around and care for him, but I didn't want to rely on the night mw's. I was so glad when I was finally allowed home as I wasn't coping very well with my emotions and just really wanted to be home with my DH.

Week 1

The first week was really hard, trying to establish BF'ing, sleepless nights, completely haywire emotions and loads of nappies lol.

My emotions were really hard to deal with this first week, with over thinking the labour and birth of Harry and thinking what could have been, also thinking omg what the hell have I done and why did I want a baby coupled with extreme guilt for feeling like that about the baby I was so in love with! I mean how could I be wishing away the very thing I waited not 9 months, but 15 months for! I cried so much these first few days over everything and sometimes nothing! I didn't feel like a good enough mum for Harry to have. I was so grateful to my DH who kept me sane and told me what a wonderful job I was doing and helping out as much as possible.

The nights are definitely the hardest because ur so tired and a screaming baby is enough to send u over the edge. The first night at home Harry would cry as soon as I put him down in his basket and want feeding again. We ended up with me semi sleeping with him on my belly cos as soon as I moved he cried. We eventually found that the liked sleeping in his boppy pillow so we had that on the bed along side us. At least we knew he was safe from us even though we were sharing our bed. He was going roughly every 2-3 hours during the night and feeding/changing took up to an hour each time.

Now nappies, omg I never realised we would get through so many!! Be prepared for every nappy change to be a poopy one! The meconium ones were the worst, tar like black stuff that was so sticky!! We had these for 3-4 days before they changed to explosive yellow ones! Every time he passed wind he would poop and he did this quite often, usually straight after putting on a clean one!!

Week 2

DH was back at work this week so I had loads of visitors, my sister came down and so did my aunty with my grandma. It was lovely to have them help me out as I was still really sore from the op and had an infection. My sister cooked, cleaned and waited on me completely and told me off if I tried to do anything but feed Harry! She even bathed and changed him during the day. My aunt and grandma were the same and I had time to go for a nap and a nice soak in the bath.

His sleeping started to get into a pattern this week. Bed 10-11, 1st feed 1-2, 2nd feed 3-4, 3rd feed 5-6 and 4th feed around 8am, when I got up with him.

Week 3 and 4

The last few weeks have gone so quickly, what with mw and hv visits, going out to meet friends and going out to get bits from the shops and fitting in naps when he does (although I don't do this every day). The mornings are usually quite hard going as after he gets up/ starts to stir around 7/8am he wants to feed quite a bit and then not be put down! So I end up stuck on the sofa with him. Then have to rush around doing cleaning, laundry, dishes as fast as I can when he finally sleeps for about 20 mins without me lol

His sleeping pattern varies quite a bit now but it is usually bed 10-11, 1st feed 2-3, 2nd feed 5-6 and 3rd feed 7-8am so we have dropped one feed during the night. Sometimes (very rarely) we get a 4 or 5 hour sleep from 11 til 3-4!! Which is amazing.

Week 5
I went to my first breastfeeding support group on the Monday, which was nice to get out and meet a few mummies as I don't have any friends with kids other than my cousin with her 2nd child who is 6 months. I didn't really get much help with the breastfeeding but enjoyed the chat.

I also met a few mummies from a local fb group who all breastfeed their babies, some are even still going at 16/17 months old. It's nice to meet other mums to chat about baby things with although Harry is the youngest so I don't really know what to say sometimes. xxx

 

[kanga86]

Now where to start with breastfeeding lol At the hospital we were told very soon arrive he was born that he had a bad tongue tie at the front tip of his tongue which could make breastfeeding difficult. As he is unable to poke it out and it bends in like a 'v' shape when he cries. We were told that someone would see me about it and decide if anything needed doing about it.

I had a student mw help me latch Harry on and I didn't find it too bad. As the day wore on and he chewed my nipple to the point where it started hurting, not nice! I told the mw's I was struggling abit but they still discharged us without a referral to have it looked at. I brought it up at out day 3, day 5, day 9 and day 10 checks at home. But because he has gained weight they weren't interested in helping us.

Well finally on day 10 my midwife listened to me when I said feeding takes ages, he is always feeding, it hurts me, he unlatches constantly and ends up sucking just the tip of my nipple and it is giving him really bad wind because he can't make a proper seal, she phoned up our hospitals lactation specialist.

I got a phone call on day 11 from the hospital and told her our bf problems and she asked if I had heard of tongue tie, to which I said we already knew he had one. She was shocked that no one had referred us to her until day 11, with it being such an obvious tongue tie and that she was on duty the time I was in hospital so could have seen me then and referred us straightaway. She referred us to southampton general as our local hospital Portsmouth aren't cutting tongue ties at the moment.

Fast forward through weeks and weeks of endless problems breastfeeding, I am now combining breastfeeding and bottle feeding expressed breast milk. The nights are the worst as tiredness makes him lazy and his latch worse leading to more pain which leads to an upset tired mummy!

My health visitor finally chased up my appt for his tongue tie snip last Wednesday (33 days old) and I had the Portsmouth specialist phone me up on the Thursday. She was shocked I was still waiting especially as the Portsmouth hospital had opened up a clinic running on Monday's. She gave me an appt for mon 20th August when he would be 6+3 weeks old as it was the earliest she had, but told me I was still on the Southampton list.

Well Southampton phoned me today at 5+4 weeks and they can see him on Thursday at 10:30am not a great time as hospital is at least 30-40mins drive away and we are never ready to go anywhere for that time!!

I am so glad to have an appt and really hope it helps us with breastfeeding. Hopefully once he can latch on properly he will feed better and sleep longer at night between feeds, well one can hope anyway. xxx

 

[kanga86]

More pics xxx

 

[netty]

nawww so cute and what great tips for mummies!!!!

he is just perfect kanga! eeeek how lovely is it to be a mummy?

i cant wait! xx

 

[kanga86]

It is fab being mummy, it is hard work but so so worth it when u look at them. I think I fall in love even more every time I look at him. Especially if someone as had hold of him for a while, I get him back and can't stop staring at him

Today he is being quite hard to look after as he is refusing to be put down for long, so nothing can get done. I am still in my nightie cos I haven't had time to go and have a shower or wash, waiting for DH to get home so I can get myself sorted out lol Just got to enjoy all the cuddles while he still wants them lol

I can't wait for u to be a mummy either lynette, u will make a fab mummy to a very special baby xxx

 

[Hope81]

I am here, catching up soon after dinner

 

[CARNAT22]

I've just had a gander at the piccies hun, Harry is just beautiful !!!

I'll have a proper read of your journal soon though - you are about to become the oracle of all things baby

xxxxxxxx

 

[kanga86]

No rush to read ladies, it is quite long lol. Been storing it all up as I tried to write it in the notes on my phone. I really need to catch up on ur journals too, time seems to be passing far too quickly at the mo xx

 

[Hope81]

Just had a proper read

First of all he is absolutely gorgeous and he looks so content.
I am happy for every pf baby that gets born but he is a special baby to all of us that went together through difficult times that makes me feel like its my nephew or similar

I must say that you seem to be doing brilliant though you had so many difficulties with bf and I hope that they will fix the tongue tie soon so you can relax a little more.

A big thank you also for sharing those first feelings with us.
I am pretty sure I will have similar feelings as I am still struggling to bond with my baby and I wonder if I did a mistake...its good to know that other people went through that and it turned up to be ok

Waiting to hear your updates and meantime give your little pumpkin a kiss from me and my little chunky bean

 

[deedee84]

Fab journal hun and Harry is sooo cute! Glad you got an earlier appointment with him too! If its any consolation Elexis doesnt have tongue tie but is lazy on the bottle 90% of the time, as soon as its in her gob the eyes go...think its more of a comfort thing for her, she likes to go to sleep on the bottle, just wish she would have a dummy instead, would be loads better but nope...some days i seem to be constantly feeding her

As for the emotions i was the same although mine kicked in a little later, probably around 3-4 weeks, i was the same, just sat and cried for no reason, questioned myself as a mum and kinda thought like you, why had i had a baby when i was finding it so hard, i think the lack of sleep makes you a million times worse, i still have the odd teary night when i am knackered and missy wont sleep, OH has to come up and take over for a while! As time goes on things get easier anyway

xx

 

[CARNAT22]

I've just had a catch up sweetie,

sounds like these first few weeks have been a total and utter whirlwind.

I know everyone says to expect it but I imagine you can never be fully prepared.

I have no idea how I'll cope with the transition? I can't quite get my head around the fact that my insides are being tormented by a baby that will be here in to the not to distant future. I kind of struggle getting my brain around baby inside tummy = baby that I will have to look after soon.

I hope the tongue-tie appointment is fruitful - keep us posted!

Carry on doing exactly what you are doing Kanga as you are are doing an amazing job

xxxxxxxxxx

 

[kanga86]

Thank u for the replies ladies. It is so true that having a baby totally changes u. No matter how much u think u are ready to have the baby as u have it all planned and everything organised once they are here it really is a big shock. The hormones flying around after birth probably don't help, but I was so surprised by my feelings. Luckily I don't feel like that now and haven't for several weeks, it was mainly the first 2 weeks where I really suffered. I hope I haven't scared any of u lol. It really does get better and I have never been happier.

Hope, I think Harry and all our beans have loads of PF aunties Loads of cyber hugs and kisses all round.

Harry has been sleeping at night really well the last 2 nights. 10:30pm to 3am, back down at 4am to 7am, then up at 8:30am, then last night 9:30pm to 2am, back down 2:30am to 5:30am, then 7:15am, and up at 8:30am. So only really 2 wake up calls. Let's hope tonight is the same. Although bedtime has only just happened at 11pm, last feed at 9:30pm though. Xx

 

[becciboo26]

What a brilliant journal!
I felt exactly like you for the first two weeks as well, in fact it contributed to me stopping breastfeeding about 9 days in, I was slipping down badly and was advised (discreetly) by the health visitor that maybe breast feeding wasn't for us! Now, like you, my love doubles every time I look at her. I definitely agree that you can never truly be prepared, I had mentally prepared myself for 10 years and it still hit like a ton of bricks!

I look forward to reading more, and btw he is seriously cute! Xx

Sent from my HTC Wildfire S A510e using Tapatalk 2

 

[misscrazycooki]

Lovely pictures hun x

Has he had his snip yet x
I am still waiting for Elliott to have his lip done. Got appointment on 21st September x

20/06/2012 - Elliott born at 129 x

11/02/2011 - Leo born at 11:37 x

 

[dyscochick]

Hi hun, loved reading your journal and seeing what it can be like. I'm most nervous about those first few days!
He is completely and utterly gorgeous xxxx

 

[kanga86]

Harry had his tongue tie cut on Thursday 16th. They took him out the room to do it and then brought him back round after so I could feed him. He was only crying cos he was hungry as he was doing this before they took him. I could tell feeding was better, but because my nips are still sore and he has to learn how to latch on differently, it was a bit painful still.

Feeding is slowly getting easier and the pain is getting less and less He stays latched on for a lot longer than he did before, feeding for up to 25mins rather than the usual 10-15mins. Which is ok as he generally then goes longer between feeds. The 2hourly feeds we are getting at the mo are possibly due to a 6 week growth spurt?!

We had 2 great nights sleep, bed at 10pm, up between 3-4am then up at 7am!! Then the next night, Harry went down at 11ish he last ate at 9:30pm, up at 1:30am, back to sleep by 2:30am then up at 5:30am asleep by 6:30am until 8:30am. Then last night he wanted to be a pest and was up at 1am, 3am, 5am, 7am he is currently sleeping away in his bouncer

I got really angry with my DH after the 7am feed, cos I asked him to change his nappy and burp him so I could go back to sleep and within 10mins he was back in his moses basket next to me crying while DH disappeared! So I had to rock him off to sleep, then at 9am Harry woke up again and DH was watching tv in the bedroom and just ignored him! Que me saying "daddy doesn't care", "daddy's useless" etc then I said u just gonna sit there? And he still didn't move!! eventually DH I'd be up and he took Harry downstairs and I got an extra hour sleep. Amazing how tiredness makes u so grouchy lol

Hoping to go out later, as DH is busy all day again! I want to get some more nursing tops for when I am ou and about to make BF easier and to look for a low tog sleep bag for Harry. We are hoping to transfer him out the Moses basket into a crib so I would like for him to feel more cozy in a bigger space. xx

 

[deedee84]

arent OH's useless, i do 90% of baby duties and the 10% he does i have to ask! The other day i wanted to get in the bath, i had been up since 5:30am and at 10am OH was still snoozing so i took Elexis up to him and plonked her on his chest and said "right shes your responsibility for the next hour i'm off in the bath" and off i went

Glad Harry is feeding better after getting his tongue tie cut! And yes, i think at 6wks Lexi became a little git bag, more feeds less sleep, i put it down to a growth spurt too!

xx

 

[kanga86]

So the last few days have gone so quick, since having Harry's tongue tie cut feeding is slowly getting better and better still abit sore where my nips are healing up, but nothing compared to what I was getting before! Not sure how I managed 6 weeks of it!

Sleeping is going ok, I had kinda hoped since having the TT done and he has been feeding for twice as long at each feed that the gap between feeds would be bigger especially at night... But nope!! Lol We are up for at least an hour a time, twice a night for a feed

Last night bed was 11pm, although Harry had been zonked out since about 8:30pm downstairs with us. Slept through a nappy change and tried to feed him, but he wasn't fussed. Up at. 2:15am and asleep by 2:35am then up at. 4:45am until 6am! This was a bad wake up call as after feeding he needed a nappy change, but before I had chance to put clean nappy on he pooped again! All over me, himself and floor! I was not happy, started cleaning him up and he proceeded to poop another 3 times before a clean nappy could be put on and he peed! Finally got up at 7:30am to start getting ready to go out.

Tonight is out first night of having put Harry up in his Moses basket without us going up too, as our baby monitors turned up today. Started at 8:30pm, with nappy, change of clothes into a clean get and then a feed. I left him at 9:15pm and he has been making small squeaky noises and just gone quiet now at 9:30pm. Can't believe our room is at 29 degrees!! It also feels strange being downstairs without him xx

 

[misscrazycooki]

Glad to hear he is feeding better hun i sometimes wish i hadn't gone un noticed when i told them in hospital it was hurting me like hell to feed him. Think my. Little mite Has the whole montie both his lips look funny and tongue seems tied too just wish the 21st would hurry up x

20/06/2012 - Elliott born at 129 x

11/02/2011 - Leo born at 11:37 x

 

[deedee84]

Glad to hear Harry os feeding much better now you would think if they took more feed they would sleep longer wouldnt you lol! Such as Lexi, woke this morning, took ages to feed and took more than she had all night yet an hour later she was awake wanting another feed

xx