Gender scan Monday - just thrown up!!!

[Constantstar]

I remember really wanting a girl and going for the scan and they said boy. I was gutted! But I got used to it and when he was here I was soo happy he was a boy!! I think I was scared of boys as I don't know much about them!


Mum of Owen. Born 11/7/11 @ 19.17pm weighing 7lb 12 oz

 

[MissJuly10]

I'm so sorry you're feeling this way Cos, really hope you feel a bit brighter soon.

x x

 

[cosmicgirl]

Thanks girls

I thought I'd feel brighter today, I don't.
I feel like I'm in a slump.
I'm struggling to sleep and eat, I cant get up in the morning.
I've boxed up all the stuff I'd bought and put it away, I felt like it was in my face.
I've cancelled my hypno course, I haven't got the drive I had to want to try for a normal birth. I had real ideas, now I just want an epi or a section, I don't care.
I haven't smiled since Monday.
I think I need to see a dr x

 

[Samsgirl]

oh hon...I think you definitely need to speak to someone. You are in mourning basically and I can totally understand that and feel so so sorry for you.

I don't kow what else i can say but i think you definitely need help to come to terms with things.

How is your OH being? is he being understanding? xx

 

[Hope81]

Cosmic, can I ask you sth? I completely understand how you feel about not getting your girl.
How are you feeling about your little boy though? Can you find any positive feelings for that? Maybe that will help you get through?
I am a little concerned about you as you are probably heading directly for PND after birth, never mind the prenatal depression even
I will pms you.

 

[Jessywoohoo]

Oh cos, I don't know how your feeling but all I want to do is make you feel better about this which I know will be hard. I think going to talk to someone is a really good idea Hun and as soon as possible, don't want you feeling any worse! Thinking of you!!! Xxx

 

[cosmicgirl]

I've broken down at work, boss has requested a counsellor come over to speak to me this morning. I feel so ashamed of how I'm feeling.
They want to send me home.
Poor oh is so supportive but very worried about my mental state.
I've cancelled my consultant obs appointment and 20 week scan.
Now the hospital is trying to call me, obviously to know what's wrong. I don't answer.
I want to crawl into a hole x

 

[Jayjay027]

Cos, maybe the way to tackle this is head on. U still need to go to ur appts and ur 20wk scan to make sure ur LO is doing ok.
I understand ur heart is broken, and I can't begin to imagine how ur feeling, but cancelling ur appts and scan isn't going to help, but hinder. There's still a little baby growing in u that needs all the support in the world, and locking urself away and pretending its not happening isn't the way to cope with this.

U mentioned in a previous post about seeing a doc, and u def should. I hope ur ok x

Sent from my BlackBerry 9800 using Tapatalk

 

[Hope81]

Oh you poor girl maybe some time away from work or a weekend away with your oh would be a good idea?
Speaking to a counselor may be not so bad either?
Could you face some baby shopping maybe? Or even better how about a changing bag for you sth really lush?
I don't really know what to suggest sorry if my ideas make you feel even more uncomfortable

 

[jules84]

talking to ur doc is defo a good idea or counsellor. jay jay is right you should try tackle the appts, ur boy needs them regardless if you dont want them , hugs hun, we can all see how much ur struggling xxx

 

[LoopyLouize]

It sounds like your work are being understanding. Glad your OH is being supportive too. Just remember you have support everywhere. We are all here to listen.
I know this won't make you feel any better but please remember that this lil bundle needs his mummy. I hope you can come to terms with this and start to look forward xxx

 

[Samsgirl]

oh sweetheart....i wish i was there to firstly give you a big hug, but then also try and help you get your head round this because you need to.

I don't want to sound harsh but your little boy needs you to look after yourself and so do the rest of your family who love you very, very much. you need to be strong for everyone around you but more importantly for yourself...

Please rearrange your scan appointments because you NEED to know that everything is going okay with baby. especially if you now want this birth to be as easy as possible for you, you are going to need the support of the medical staff and know exactly whats going on with bubs...

xx

 

[Hope81]

How are you doing cosmic?

 

[kedi376]

Cos, I have no words that will make you feel better. All the other girls have said it. Just wanted to send you a hug. xx

 

[netty]

oh cos so sorry you feel like this, i hope you come round soon sweety your little boy needs you to be strong and healthy x

dont cancel your scan darling, you need to see baby is ok x counseling sounds like a good idea hun

massive hugs cos

 

[MissJuly10]

Agree with the girls hun, you need to go to the appointments and scans for the sake of your little boy. I know you're heartbroken now but he still needs his mummy.

x

 

[cosmicgirl]

How are you doing cosmic?

Not good x

 

[Hope81]

Did you make an appointment with a counselor?

 

[cosmicgirl]

The counsellor came over to see me in my office. She stayed for 2 hours. She says its ok to feel this way and has given me some strategies to help to deal with this. It was good to be able to speak honestly to her without fear of judgement or fear of upsetting her. She said its ok to tell people i dont want to talk about it, to tell them I dont want a baby shower or lots of blue gifts bought for me, its ok to tell them at the 20 week scan that I dont want her to turn the screen around to me, to just check its ok and then I leave. Having her tell me that its ok has really helped.
I shouldnt feel ashamed about how I feel, if others have a problem with my feelings, thats their problem.
She's going to come and see me again next week x

 

[Hope81]

Ooo it sounds like it went really well. I was afraid that she will not understand.
I agree about the baby shower and the blue clothes. (though I do love blue so much that even if I have a girl she will wear blue lol)
About the scan I suppose it depends of you. I would look though for the simple reason that the guilt would kill me if I wouldn't...
I hope you will feel a little brighter each
day.