Funny things your children have said to you 8-)

[SweetAtHeart12]

A couple of weeks ago I picked up my friends daughter from school (shes 10) we were walking back and I asked her what she had for lunch.
Her answer was, I didnt have lunch today, I felt really sick after sex on location.

 

[mamichuli]

Vic (nine and three quarters) - has just had sex ed at school and has announced to me that he intends to adopt kids when he is big - the "other way " is digusting! I will remind him when he is ooooooooooh 19?



Lisa

 

[Mummy-D]

My wee guy who is 6 & 1/2 was having a sleepover at his grannies. He was sat on her knee before bedtime and my mum was telling him, that she was my mummy and how i came out of her tummy.....to which he replied " I know you are my mummies mummy but she didnt come out of your tummy granny.....she came out of your Beegina!! "

My mum went and didnt have a clue what to say to him!! lol

 

[Lou]

I think Isaac's funniest has to be when he watched the advert for microwave rice. He looked at me and said "are you joking me"! It was funny because he said it in the same accent as the lady on the advert

 

[Kimbo]

'Please will you go out with me? All the mother-f***ing love in the world, Ben xx'

 

[dannii87]

My brother is 17 and has said some hilarious stuff in his time!!

Just a couple that my Mum usually embarassed him with;

When I sang with the choir at school we had to sing at church one Sunday (none of us are religious so it was a first time we were in a church) and my brother (who was about 6 at the time) started to kick the pews(sp?) and whisper (really loudly) "This is booooooooring" and "I can't sit on this hard bench for much longer" anyway, my Mum nipped his leg and whispered for him to shut up because people were enjoying the music and this was "God's House" and all that. And he shouted "OUCH!! Well I don't think God would be very happy that you're pinching me!!"

Another time, he was 11 and joined the local football team and they needed proof of age, Mum said she'd have to copy his birth certificate and he said "oh don't worry, I'll just show them a birthday card from when I was 11" lol!!

The classic though was last week when my best friend took her son to the doctors (he's only a few weeks old but she took me along to help look after her very adventurous 3 - nearly 4 - year old daughter). She's always asking questions and there was a little boy (must have been about 1) with his Mum. He had a hair lip(sp?) and she quietly asked her Mum what was wrong with him. She just said "don't stare Madison, he was just born that way but he's every bit as special as you are" -
Madison edged over to the toy section just staring at this little boy and after me and Gem sat there terrified incase she said something, she said to the little boy's Mum "I like your baby's lip" The Mum was great and found it very funny, but OMG we criiiiiinged!!

x

 

[CH0C0H0LIC]

My 10yo has recently been doing sex ed at school and one day he came home and when I asked him what he'd learnt that day he said "well mum your eggs come out of your overalls and they go down the ethiopian tubes!" at least it proves he was trying to listen I guess

Sarah xxx

 

[xHeatherx]

A Take That video came on the TV, an old one. I said to Charlie that song came out when I was 16. She asked if that was why the video was in black and white!

 

[JamieIsabella]

My neice Sophia (age 8) along with her younger sister Alyssa (age 6) have worked out where babies come from.
Prepare yourself for this, it amazed me!

Depending on whether the woman has an innie or an outie (belly button), depends on whether she's had a baby.
Innie means no baby, outie therefore means baby.
But, if you have more than one baby born at a time (i.e twins +), your belly button goes out, then back in!
Aparently, mine's done that, when it never went "out" in the first place, always had an innie

It was so funny at the time, you may not find it as hilarious as me and my family did.
One of those funny things where you had to be there

 

[beanie]

I was sat on the toilet and Seren (who has got an interest in all things toilet related) said "are you having a wee mummy?". I said I was to which she replied "well done mummy, well done". I got off lightly though as whenever her dad is upstairs she shouts "Pete, are you having a poo?"

 

[chezzabell]

once me and my OH were fun fighting and Sophie told us to stop pissing around!!!


also just the other day Alastair was speaking to my mum on the phone, and my mum said what did u say Alastair, Sophie replyed he told you to F off!!!! (which he didnt by the way)

 

[Anna23]

James just sat there telling his sister that the worlds is in gods stomach and when we die we go be with him

 

[kelsey]

My mum said to the older 2 "what's your little brother like?" To which Tyler replied "a nightmare" and cayla (5) replied. "he's like a chinese in a bull shop"



she meant bull in a china shop

 

[daftscotslass]

Well mine isn't talking yet but I had some corkers from the kids I teach before I left (aged 6 and 7) regarding my pregnancy.

"So.. Miss... who ye pregnant by?"

"You can go on a date when you're pregnant you know."

"I'm not going to be sad when you go. I'll be thinking of you squeezing the baby out going (insert panting noises here)."

Another time (not bump related) was when the kids were all sitting in silence working away. One little boy who was just working away randomly said "sometimes I wish I was a jaffa cake... then I'd eat myself". His friend sitting next to him looked at him like he was crazy. He smiled and said to his friend "You're ma pal, I'd let you eat me too."

 

[Jade&Evie]

"So.. Miss... who ye pregnant by?"

"You can go on a date when you're pregnant you know."

"I'm not going to be sad when you go. I'll be thinking of you squeezing the baby out going (insert panting noises here)."

i am wetting myself!

 

[Mik]

Well I have an 8 yr old boy a 5 yr old boy and a 4 yr old madam when we told them about the new baby Madam's reply was I want a sister I already have brothers. My 5yr old said I want a baby brother cos I have a baby sister. My eldest said well I have both and they are both a handful can we not just have another dog?

My 5 yr old also decided that March is too long away and the baby is going to be born on daddy's birthday this Friday 29th aug!

 

[Mik]

Well I have an 8 yr old boy a 5 yr old boy and a 4 yr old madam when we told them about the new baby Madam's reply was I want a sister I already have brothers. My 5yr old said I want a baby brother cos I have a baby sister. My eldest said well I have both and they are both a handful can we not just have another dog?

My 5 yr old also decided that March is too long away and the baby is going to be born on daddy's birthday this Friday 29th aug!

 

[DaisyRose]

Oh, my 3 and a half and nearly 6 year old girls are terrible - we're going through the toilet humour and bum phase at the moment! My girls terrorise my poor OH whenever he has a shower and laugh about his 'sticking out bottom'! When I was first pregnant with Ruby I got asked questions by my eldest regarding how the baby had got inside me so (not wanting to go too far from the truth) I told her that Daddy had planted it. My OH is quite a keen gardener so she asked a while later where the baby had been planted in the garden ! I honestly didn't know how to answer that!!!

I've since explained to her about Daddy fish and Mummy's eggs. She asked me the other day how the fish get inside women and all I could come up with is 'I'll tell you when you're older!!!

The other thing I get from both of them at the moment is whenever I talk about anything in my past (childhood etc) they ask "was I there Mummy?" I told Daisy that ladies are born with their eggs (I know this theory has been questionned) so I have to reassure them that 'a bit of them was there with me' if it was something that happened before they were born - it is quite funny!!

 

[Lou]

Isaac fell over a few weeks ago and told me he 'hurt his trousers'! It really made me laugh. He also picks things up that we say and then uses them, but always in context. The other day we were getting ready to go out and I asked him if he wanted to grab a couple of cars to take with him, he looked at me and rolled his eyes and said 'mum, I'm busy, give me a chance'! And also he came out with another cracker, he asked me for a drink when I was washing up, I asked him to wait a minute but he kept whinging, I eventually gave up and dried my hands and got him a drink, when I gave it to him he turned to me and said 'you happy now are ya'?

Cheeky little so and so

Oh and on bonfire night we were in his bedroom reading a bedtime story and listening to the fireworks outside. He was thinking about something and went quiet, I asked him what he was thinking about and he said to me 'mummy, fireworks are like rainbows'!

How clever!

 

[Storm.]

MFG im crying with laughter at these, I love can we just have another dog please