Frustrated, Glum & Angry

[LoopyLouize]

Hi Ladies,

I need a rant tonight as I think TTC has finally taken its toll on me and OH.

I just walked out of our relationship as I am fed up. I think I am fed up of one thing which has made me pick on little things that wouldn't usually have bothered me (if you get me).

He just wont put an effort in so I have got to the end of my tether and figured he isn't ready to settle down so Ive walked.



Does anybody else get frustrated with OH or is it just me being silly??

x

 

[cosmicgirl]

Awww hun

My oh infuriates me at times, he's 12 years older than me but acts like a 12 year old! He just doesn't seem to see things like I do but then I think that's most men in general.
Ttc is very stressful and does effect your relationship but I think if you are normally generally happy except usual niggling arguments, I'd cool down and put it down to stress xxxx

 

[LouiseB]

Aw Loopy

It just sounds like you are just struggling to express your frustrations and things - it is really hard on us ttc ladies at the moment. These bumper BFP months really take their toll

I've been picking on my husband a lot lately too and feeling like all the million and one things that he does wrong means that he's unworthy of children anyway, which is convenient considering he doesn't seem to give a shit most of the time.

Maybe write him a letter or email and just get it all out and let him read it. You might wanna let him know that you'll be home soon you just need a breather

I've just been having a cry about Olive getting her BFP and then gave hubby a bollocking because everything is clearly his fault and he can't even be bollocked right because he just apologised so i'm the bad guy too

Are you alright hun? Where have you gone to?

 

[cosmicgirl]

It is difficult in TTc, it's hard to stay positive at times and not blame our oh's xx

 

[LoopyLouize]

Aww cosmic your deffo right at that! It all started over a couch lol.. A bleeding couch! Just because it was green! I am trying so hard to cool off but I can't today! Im so so wound up and this isnt like me! He keeps ringing me and texting me but I wont reply nor answer. His mates are even trying to persuade me to sort it out but im ignoring them too!

Lou your post just really gave me the giggles lmao! I know what you mean about the lil cry over the recent BFP.. As happy as I am for Olive ( i truley am ) but it also breaks my heart

I am at my mums at the moment. She has kinda not questioned me as I come here when he works away anyway so im not alone. So me being here during the week hasnt raised any eyebrows. It always makes me break down in tears when family question me so luckily for that reason they havn't. Im staying strong on the outside but the inside its tearing me apart!

x

 

[cosmicgirl]

See I don't have any arguments over household goods, if I say we're getting a green couch, we get a bloody green couch. He knows that disagreement is futile lol x

 

[Drummers_wife]

Hugs hugs hugs

Things will be fine babes x x chill out for the night then either speak to him tomorrow or email him if you don't directly wana spk to him x

Ttc is so up an down x I'm not too bad about olive- 1st 1 I've been ok with in a long time x
Let it all out to us well always be here to listen x x

 

[LouiseB]

What are his mates sticking their noses in for? lol

Ahhh well just enjoy making him squirm until tomorrow, maybe just a little text to say you'll be in touch tomorrow? Then phone off

Olive is my bestest buddy and i'm not sure if i'll ever forgive her for being so selfish as to get her BFP before me really, but i will try. Just not tonight I think i'd rather spend the rest of the evening slagging her off And eating McDonald's

What is specifically that is making you feel so upset Lou?

 

[LoopyLouize]

LOL @ Cosmic.. The problem also lies in the fact that I want a couch but have no were to put it.

Which is then where our argument got abit more serious.. We have a house but we rent it out as I aint keen on the area and didn't want to move into it after it was bought due to the idiots over the road destroying everybodys cars on the street and BECAUSE they was under the age of 10 the police couldnt do anything.. (That is a totally differant story though lol) but yeah we rent that house out and live with his parents at the moment. So in the meantime I have been looking at houses to buy and to rent in a much nicer area.. OH has decided he doesnt want to anymore (after I have wasted months of my time speaking to people and mortgage advisors etc etc etc as he works away 5 days a week I have to do all the work) so now he just wants to continue living at his parents until the market gets better so then he will sell the house we have rented out at the moment. I just exploded and told him I JUST WANT A FECKING HOME! Not to feel like an intruder in his parents home ( they are lovely btw and make me feel very welcome but thats not the point lol) x

 

[LoopyLouize]

Oh and I had to cancel a viewing tonight as he didnt want to view it after he originally told me he did

F**KING IDIOT!

Im all angry again now lol

 

[cosmicgirl]

Hmmm I'd feel exactly the same. Men change their minds more often than their undercrackers, it's so annoying, especially as you've out so much work in xxx

 

[Drummers_wife]

That's crap having to live wit his parents!! You need ur own space however nice they are!!!!

Tell his mates to keep their noses out too!!

Jus need to speak to him more about how this is making you feel x

 

[LouiseB]

Gosh Lou, that sound's like a nightmare.

Can't you just put the house you are renting on the market and start the ball rolling.

If your OH is faced with an actual offer of money, it wouldn't be so easy for him to turn it away.

You never know how much someone might want to pay you...

It should be easier to sort out all the mortgage stuff if you already have a chunk of money in the bank too and even though you'll lose the rent money while you buy a new place at least you won't have to pay to stay with his parents.

It doesn't matter about the market as long as you are buying the same type of property because it will always compare the same to other houses of the same type - if the market goes down, it goes down for them all.

It's hard to know what to suggest though - i know what i'd do if it was me. I'd tell him what is going to happen and go and make it happen and inform him when it's done

 

[LoopyLouize]

Gosh Lou, that sound's like a nightmare.

Can't you just put the house you are renting on the market and start the ball rolling.

If your OH is faced with an actual offer of money, it wouldn't be so easy for him to turn it away.

You never know how much someone might want to pay you...

It should be easier to sort out all the mortgage stuff if you already have a chunk of money in the bank too and even though you'll lose the rent money while you buy a new place at least you won't have to pay to stay with his parents.

It doesn't matter about the market as long as you are buying the same type of property because it will always compare the same to other houses of the same type - if the market goes down, it goes down for them all.

It's hard to know what to suggest though - i know what i'd do if it was me. I'd tell him what is going to happen and go and make it happen and inform him when it's done

Id love to put it on the market, it can still be put up for sale whilst people are renting in it too. But OH doesnt believe me. I don't think we would lose money on the house either.. I think we would gain a couple of thousand but not as much as we would if their was a housing boom again.. Which OH stupidly thinks there will be in 2 years. So he is holding onto it untl this "boom" happens! He is delusional I reckon!

Ohh and my OTHER argument is we spend over £1k a month on cars.. Because he HAS to have his stupid car.. grrrrrrrrr. I don't actually care if I drive round in a fecking robin reliant so long as I get a home! Fuck the porsche!

Sorry about all the whinging girls! I just don't really have anybody else to talk to as we have mutual friends x

 

[ScotchEgg]

aha, well, how about this logic...

if every house goes up 10% say, and say your house you own is worth £100k it's now worth £110k

now seeing as you want to move to a nicer area the new house is going to be more. For simple maths let's say £200k. That house has also gone up 10% and is now worth £220k

say you own half your original house so your mortgage is £50k.

sell house 1 now and buy house 2 now you'll get £50k and put it towards a £200k house so you'll need £150k mortgage

wait 2 years till they've gone up 10% and you'll get £60k (as your house has increased by £10k) but you'll need a £160k mortgage

so if you're moving up you're actually better off moving when the market's down despite the 'value' of your house. The only time that's the case is if you're buying somewhere cheaper.

 

[LouiseB]

I think we would gain a couple of thousand but not as much as we would if their was a housing boom again.. Which OH stupidly thinks there will be in 2 years. So he is holding onto it untl this "boom" happens! He is delusional I reckon!

Ohh and my OTHER argument is we spend over £1k a month on cars.. Because he HAS to have his stupid car.. grrrrrrrrr. I don't actually care if I drive round in a fecking robin reliant so long as I get a home! Fuck the porsche!

Doesn't he realise that if there is a "boom" that the amount he has to pay will shoot up, not just the amount he receives

I remember you mentioning the car thing before - you can't have extended maternity because he wants his car... You know, i read a story once about some footballers wife selling her husband's very expensive car on Ebay for 50p because she was mad at him about something

 

[Lander]

What a feaky chucker.

Mine just 'forgot' to tell me about the fridge-freezer dying this morning and left the boiler on all day............................

He knew he was in the shit about it.

 

[LoopyLouize]

Scotch your totally right.. If I do end up calming down and sorting things with OH which at the moment im not willing to .. But say I do.. Im going to show him your post lol.

LOL Louise you should NOT be putting these thoughts into my head !! Im the sorta person who would do that!! LOL

Lander, I hope he put his tail between his legs and sat under the stairs lol xx

 

[tinselcat]

Hi Louize

I totally get your frustration. Have been snapping at my OH more than ever around TTC-time this month... needless to say, didn't help anything!

Btw, my partner is convinced the market is going to have a long hard fall over the coming years as prices are so overvalued at the moment. (We have started househunting and some things are just silly!) So deffo recommend getting the place off your hands if you can.



xx

 

[DaisyPurple]

dont get me started on mine right now but i hope things have sorted themselves out with you xx