From miscarriages to miracle - James Michael. Our sticky bean born on Daddy's B'day

[russellmuscle]

I know we're breeding like crazy!!!

I'm just back from visiting a friend, she is having a tough time at the moment so on a whim I asked OH to have James and I went over to see her (she lives in South London)

I was gone about 4.5 hours and I was hyperventilating by the time I got home. I missed James so much it actually hurt.

James kind of looked me up and down when I got in (not even a smile??) but he was clinging onto me for dear life when I picked him up.

I never want to leave him again

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god how will you cope when you have to go back to work?

have you got child care sorted for James?

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[CARNAT22]

I'm not due back at work until end of October so I have plenty of time.

I hope to be able to go back part-time BUT I know my employer has no obligation to facilitate this request - all they have to do legally is to have my job as it was for me to return to.

I also want to ask if I can return in late November and use a months worth of holiday's. Again they don't have to agree to this.

Childcare is going to be an issue, if I have to go back full time it will take half of my salary. Can I really go back to work and be out of the house everyday from 8am-6pm and leave my baby to earn less than half of what I would normally?

Not sure what we're going to do to be honest????

xxxxxxx

 

[russellmuscle]

I'm not due back at work until end of October so I have plenty of time.

I hope to be able to go back part-time BUT I know my employer has no obligation to facilitate this request - all they have to do legally is to have my job as it was for me to return to.

I also want to ask if I can return in late November and use a months worth of holiday's. Again they don't have to agree to this.

Childcare is going to be an issue, if I have to go back full time it will take half of my salary. Can I really go back to work and be out of the house everyday from 8am-6pm and leave my baby to earn less than half of what I would normally?

Not sure what we're going to do to be honest????

xxxxxxx

LOL we never think of child care as we get too caught up with the idea of having a baby, Im the same although I already work part time so its not so bad - but Im loving being off and just cant imagine being back at work and looking after Jackson.

My mum works a morning and afternoon shift so I will need to ask that I can change my hours to start and finish a bit later each day. I couldnt imagine going back to work full time and then come home to a baby - how are your work normally with leway ? Do you think they'll let you go back part time?

If they do let you go part time, you may be able to top up your wages with working and child tax credits?

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[CARNAT22]

I'm hoping I can persuade them that I can come back part-time (maybe 3 days a week). I'll present them with the idea in June I think?

I will also offer to work full time hours around busier periods. We have some times of the year that are more hectic than others.

If they refuse I'll hand in my notice I think?

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[Lolly85x]

I've just handed my form in to reduce my hours from 5 days to 4 days. I would have LOVED 3 but think that would have been pushing it.
They can refuse your request. But they have to have a really good reason. And if you try and work with them offering alternatives, and asking for a trial at your new hours and still refuse you can appeal it.
It's not a company thing it's actually a government legal document.
Fingers crossed.
You have to give this form at least 14 weeks before you want to go back.xxx

 

[dyscochick]

I hope they let you have your part time Hun. They dhould gave a good readon for not considering it! I never thought I'd say this but I think it's going to kill me leaving Ollie in nursery everyday. Seriously thinking of reducing my hours but not sure we can afford it as DH is looking at taking a pay cut to do a job he really wants to do. We've got some time to think it through, it's just a shame that evenings are his worst time.

 

[russellmuscle]

I'm hoping I can persuade them that I can come back part-time (maybe 3 days a week). I'll present them with the idea in June I think?

I will also offer to work full time hours around busier periods. We have some times of the year that are more hectic than others.

If they refuse I'll hand in my notice I think?

xxxxxxxxx

Wow, I hope it doesnt come to that, as I know u were looking to move aswell!

Its amazing how much a baby changes everything but all worth it im sure xxxxxxxxx

 

[CARNAT22]

Now James is here he is the most important thing and if I have to leave my job then I will.

I'd ideally be seeking to work in a school / college / Uni in an admin role but I'd do shop work or anything that is flexible.

I have a degree so will eventually retrain as a teacher.

I don't plan not to work but how can I justify paying someone half my salary to look after my baby?? We could live on OH's earnings for a while if I couldn't find immediate work?

I may qualify for a scheme with my local council for affordable housing, I am just waiting to hear back. So we'd basically be able to rent privately but for a slightly reduced rate??

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[russellmuscle]

Now James is here he is the most important thing and if I have to leave my job then I will.

I'd ideally be seeking to work in a school / college / Uni in an admin role but I'd do shop work or anything that is flexible.

I have a degree so will eventually retrain as a teacher.

I don't plan not to work but how can I justify paying someone half my salary to look after my baby?? We could live on OH's earnings for a while if I couldn't find immediate work?

I may qualify for a scheme with my local council for affordable housing, I am just waiting to hear back. So we'd basically be able to rent privately but for a slightly reduced rate??

xxxxxxxxx

Im in the same situ for housing. We rent privately although it does my head in and I wanted to move, but we do have 2 bedrooms and Ive decided to get a new kitchen fitted etc, I wanted a council flat as Id be more settled there? I grudge spending a fortune on doing up this place, Ive already had to get Jackson's nursery plastered. But OH isnt keen to move this year as it will be hard with a baby and 2 cats getting resettled..

I know child fees are ridiculous! It cost my cousin like 420 a month just for a few hours in the morning! Its robbery! And I think the age we have to wait before getting into a council run nursery is like 3? The waitinglists are huge up here for child care.

I do enjoy my work though, Im hoping going back will help me get back to normality in some way with a sort of routine? HOPING! xxxxx

 

[mrswoody]

I'm having the same worries about returning to work, I will be going back but I don't think I can go part time, don't think the military offer this? But hoping to do 9-3 so a slightly shorted day by 2.5hrs but it's better than 8-4.30. I've been working out costs for childcare and it's just so expensive, I envy people who get help from family

 

[mrswoody]

Ps congrats on the news of being an auntie again!! Your family is certainly expanding quickly x

 

[russellmuscle]

I'm having the same worries about returning to work, I will be going back but I don't think I can go part time, don't think the military offer this? But hoping to do 9-3 so a slightly shorted day by 2.5hrs but it's better than 8-4.30. I've been working out costs for childcare and it's just so expensive, I envy people who get help from family

My MIL looks after BILs two daughters 2 and 8 so if I asked her Id be ripping the piss, thankfully my mum works part time or id be in the same boat - and its not so bad that I only work like 3 hours!

Dont either of you have any one that could help?! xxxxx

 

[CARNAT22]

It was kind of unspoken that my sister was going to have James. She is in the middle of doing her childminding qualification, so it was going to be good practice.

Now she is pregnant that has all fallen through. She will have a 2 months old and a 26 month old when I am due to go back so she just cannot do it.

My Mum doesn't work but she is older and whilst she will help out in an emergency it would just be too much for her to have a lively toddler for 9/10 hours a day, 5 days a week (even if I went part-time I think it would be too much for my Mum)

My sisters MIL and SIL are both childminders. They charge £55 a day though. After tax I earn about £100 a day. Again it just isn't worth it full time?

OH is self employed and depending on his industry he could potentially have James. Work was shite for him last year (he was effectively earning a part-time salary for about 6 months) but things have touch wood picked up now?

Due to the nature of OH's work I am really reluctant to resign as we rely on my salary. The way he gets paid varies (it is normally once a job is finished and that can be anything up to 10 weeks ) Also what if I resign and then work goes quiet for him? We'd be in trouble?

There is a lot to think about and obviously I have time and there are options BUT none of my options are ideal.

Maybe a lottery win will help us out?

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[russellmuscle]

It was kind of unspoken that my sister was going to have James. She is in the middle of doing her childminding qualification, so it was going to be good practice.

Now she is pregnant that has all fallen through. She will have a 2 months old and a 26 month old when I am due to go back so she just cannot do it.

My Mum doesn't work but she is older and whilst she will help out in an emergency it would just be too much for her to have a lively toddler for 9/10 hours a day, 5 days a week (even if I went part-time I think it would be too much for my Mum)

My sisters MIL and SIL are both childminders. They charge £55 a day though. After tax I earn about £100 a day. Again it just isn't worth it full time?

OH is self employed and depending on his industry he could potentially have James. Work was shite for him last year (he was effectively earning a part-time salary for about 6 months) but things have touch wood picked up now?

Due to the nature of OH's work I am really reluctant to resign as we rely on my salary. The way he gets paid varies (it is normally once a job is finished and that can be anything up to 10 weeks ) Also what if I resign and then work goes quiet for him? We'd be in trouble?

There is a lot to think about and obviously I have time and there are options BUT none of my options are ideal.

Maybe a lottery win will help us out?

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Awww that sucks, what if you dropped to part time (providing they let you) then ask SIL or mil to watch James for a little bit and maybe ask oh if they could maybe charge a little less as it is their grandson/nephew - I understand that they have to make a living too but even if you provided his meals etc it might be a bit easier?

Hope you manage to get something sorted but try not to stress yourself out too much - I've opened a bloody can of worms asking about your work LOL xxxxx

 

[Amber8]

It's a hard decision isn't it trying to decide what to do for the best, I can totally understand u not wanting to go back full time. Child care is so expensive, by the time you've worked, paid for childcare it's not worth working is it!?

Wow & congrats on becoming an Auntie again, you ave such abig family & how nice that they will all be similar ages growing up together.

Xx

 

[CARNAT22]

Awww that sucks, what if you dropped to part time (providing they let you) then ask SIL or mil to watch James for a little bit and maybe ask oh if they could maybe charge a little less as it is their grandson/nephew - I understand that they have to make a living too but even if you provided his meals etc it might be a bit easier?

Hope you manage to get something sorted but try not to stress yourself out too much - I've opened a bloody can of worms asking about your work LOL xxxxx

Oh no hun, it's obviously something I have been thinking about LOL!

It's not my MIL and SIL who are childminders but my sisters (so they are the aunty and granny to my nephews but no relation to me or James) and they are very sought after childminders. They have waiting lists!! So there is no way I could or would ask for a reduced rate.

xxxxxx

 

[ceebee]

Oh that's a really difficult decision hon. Childcare is one of the biggest problems for a working mum. It's so bloody expensive isn't it?! Hopefully those lottery numbers will come up soon lol. Well, you've got a bit of time still to think about it - when were you planning to go back to work? xxx

 

[CARNAT22]

28th October is my official start back date but I may consider requesting that I go back a bit later (use some holiday that I have accrued). I don't think they'll agree to that but I can ask.

Ideally maternity leave would last until James is school age??

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[ceebee]

Yeah, worth an ask anyway! 4 years or so maternity leave might be pushing it a bit for even the most generous employer xx

 

[russellmuscle]

Awww that sucks, what if you dropped to part time (providing they let you) then ask SIL or mil to watch James for a little bit and maybe ask oh if they could maybe charge a little less as it is their grandson/nephew - I understand that they have to make a living too but even if you provided his meals etc it might be a bit easier?

Hope you manage to get something sorted but try not to stress yourself out too much - I've opened a bloody can of worms asking about your work LOL xxxxx

Oh no hun, it's obviously something I have been thinking about LOL!

It's not my MIL and SIL who are childminders but my sisters (so they are the aunty and granny to my nephews but no relation to me or James) and they are very sought after childminders. They have waiting lists!! So there is no way I could or would ask for a reduced rate.

xxxxxx

That sucks, well you could look for shorter hour jobs just incase? Then that way if they say no then you know what kind of jobs you are looking for etc.

Anyway, enough about mat leave! Where are some pics of the wee man

I've had to change Jackson to cow and gate comfort today. He is finding it really hard to digest SMA gold.

xxxxxx