Filling the hole

[5Element]

Hello Wonderful Strong Ladies!

Another day nearly over since the d&c and so many thoughts go through my head. I was just reading all the posts since yesterday, it is so sad that so many poor ladies have to go through this. When I walk down the street and look at other ladies I dont see what they are wearing or which label it is but think to myself if this lady also had to go through this pain (and how many times may be) It amazes me just how strong we are!

Then I read something on here how one lady is starting to get over this by going on their first date again and I thought that is such a wonderful idea! What about starting a thread on how to move on? Would you ladies mind writing anything and EVERYTHING how you moved on after a mc? Maybe we can help others? I simply LOVE the idea about the first date. We should never forget that our OH goes through this with us too and to bring some "us" time back is just what the doctor ordered for us too! I am definately going to try this!

Love to see what everyone else has done!

Love and peace to you all!

 

[jimjams]

Best not show oh this he will get a big head the first date was his idea. I think that it is right to remember that our oh's are going through this too. My oh is a true believer that 'everything happens for a reason. I know it may not be the right thing to say but maybe there was a reason that my baby was taken.
I think that however painful this is we have to take stock and move on, will never forget the attachment that we already had with our wee bean, but I am a firm believer that he will be in heaven watching down on us and wanting us to move on.
I am looking forward to our first date, I have ordered some lingerie for myself and to show oh what he has to look forward to on our second date.........not gonna be as easy this time!!!!!!!! Xxx

 

[Vickimo]

The first date idea is a great idea and it's all the sweeter that it came from your OH x

I'll be moving on 2 weeks today. I'm so precise with the date as it's the day I'll be picking my hubby up from the airport. He's been away working in China since the 22nd July which is also the day we did the deed (protection free) for the first time and created our little bean. I had hoped that I'd be picking him up and we'd be sharing our joy at being pregnant for the first time but unfortunately it wasn't meant to be. I'd be lying if I said that I haven't held back a few tears to share with hubby and feel like once I've cried with him I'll be able to move on. I normally get a tad emotional picking him up from the airport so this will be a pick up sponsored by kleenex I think

We'd planned to start trying this month when he gets home so that's still the plan I'm sticking to and that'll be me moving on. I won't forget the 9 weeks which I had with our first little creation but my focus really needs to be on being thankful for what I have in my life and looking forward to extending our little family beyond our chocolate lab

Hubby's also planned a couple of trips away for us when he gets back. We're booking a coastal cottage for the week and taking the dog with us and then we're also going for a romantic weekend away so I've to choose between Paris or Prague Trips away are fairly normal when he's home but combining them with 'optimum baby making time' is a new experience but also part of moving on xxx

 

[jojo3972]

Awww that's a lovely idea the first date after my first mc in may 11 I had a holiday booked and omg it did me wanders I can tell ya and I didn't think about the mc and I thought to myself it happens for a reason I always think that and it may not seem so at the time but it's very true.... Bk in 1990 I had my first mc after my first daughter was born I didn't even know I was pregnant as I hadn't had a period after she wa born but I had the mc I was around 10 weeks they said and it was horrific the blood the clots the pain omg horrible but anyways I got over it n decided I was to go on depo big mistake cos 9 months later after 3 depo injections I wanted to try again a yr later no luck and no afs either went to docs cut a long story short depo make me infertile. And I needed Clomid luckily it worked first go so what I'm trying to say is if I hadn't have had that mc I would not have gone through all that n got my son Jordan who's a strapping 19 yr old and then my other kids after that and my life would be so different I think,my oh got me a puppy at Xmas to help me and it worked agreag wen all kids at school she was there to cuddle n lick my face off wen I was down ... After my 3rd mmc in may anyone that said to me it happens for a reason I would say shut up what reason to take my babies is there and of courses was not thinking straight but there will be a reason and that reason will become apparent in months or yrs to come all we can do is hope we get our rainbow babies very soon gd luck ladies and it does get easier xxxx

 

[netty]

hey sweety, i took 4 weeks off work when i MC and me and my oh just spent all our time together, comforting in the fact that we still had each other. I took it badly for a long time, i was 14 weeks when i lost my baby. And oh has aspergers so is not very expressive and took it badly but held it all in.

We used to just watch movies, have takeaways and shut the world out for a while until i felt like i was ready to share it with the rest of the world.

we couldnt have sex for quite a while if i remember correctly so it really helped us to connect on a deeper level. Its always important to remember you have each other in a time like this xx

 

[Becky1]

We've booked a holiday, it's really given me something to look forward to. Also af (first since mmc) arrived today so we can start trying whilst we're away!! (never been so happy to see the witch). Loving the 1st date idea, it's our 11 year anniversary tomorrow/today, after reading this I think I'll take oh to the pub where we met - thanks for the idea xx

 

[CARNAT22]

I stopped smoking after my first miscarriage... it was kind of accidental but a very fitting tribute I hope?

I was technically still pregnant when I stopped and despite having a very drawn out miscarriage (it took 20 days from first bleed to actual m/c happening) I never even contemplated having a smoke.

In some ways the fact that the m/c took so long may have actually helped me stop for good? Even though I knew I was going to lose the baby, every day I stayed pregnant, made it easier to not smoke.

I went on to have 2 more losses and never went back to the fags... I am now 17 months a non smoker.

xxxxxxxxxxx

 

[Juice]

A few days after my scan when we found out our baby had stopped growing at 8 weeks, we started planning our wedding. The loss made me feel a little insecure about life and I felt that getting married would help me feel that I had something solid and permanent. I told my OH this and he agreed that getting married asap would make us both very happy and give us something positive to focus on. We've only been engaged since June and we're getting married in just over 2 weeks!

 

[Becky1]

Wow! Congrats. We got engaged in June and married in Oct (no reason I'm just impatient). Planning wedding that quickly will certainly give you something to think about! xxx

 

[alibaby]

A few days after my scan when we found out our baby had stopped growing at 8 weeks, we started planning our wedding. The loss made me feel a little insecure about life and I felt that getting married would help me feel that I had something solid and permanent. I told my OH this and he agreed that getting married asap would make us both very happy and give us something positive to focus on. We've only been engaged since June and we're getting married in just over 2 weeks!

Aw, congratulations Juice! x

 

[Juice]

Wow! Congrats. We got engaged in June and married in Oct (no reason I'm just impatient). Planning wedding that quickly will certainly give you something to think about! xxx

Aw, congratulations Juice! x

Thanks ladies! I'm surprised that it hasn't been more stressful! It's going to be a small and cheap affair so I think that's why it's been so easy. I'm nervous as hell though! lol

 

[kiwifrootkai]

It took me a long time to "move on" or to begin to come to terms with it, and that was 2yrs later when I planted a tree in memory of my baby. It seemed to settle my grief, so we had a specific place to go to.

xo