me and the mrs feel so lost!!!!

[Mike]

i cant belive what has happend to us. we have spent 15 weeks knowing we are finally going to have a baby feeling ontop of the world when all of a sudden we both got struck down.

i have never felt pain like that in all my life. knowing what was happening and not being able to do a dam thing about it. utter heart breaking. i never ever want to go through that again. now thinking about it im scared of us getting pregnant again. if this happens again i dont no what i do.

we are so desperate for a baby and im in love with my kid even now and we dont even have one yet. we have been trying everything we can think of to get pregnant. doctors wont do anything until we have had 3 misses. wtf!!!!

really pisses me off knowing that there are teenageers out there popping them out left right and centre not knowing how lucky they are. why does this crap always happen to me. i just want to be able to see my mrs smile again!!! i hate this.

any advice they could help us both get over this.

 

[Sam's Mum]

I'm so, so sorry for your loss

 

[Rosie's Mummy]

How awful for you both, so sorry

 

[MrsR]

I am so sorry for your loss x my only advice is to greive for your lost baby and talk together x x I think very often the man gets forgotten at times like these and it's so unfair x know that somewhere your child is watching and waiting for the right time to come into your lives and when they do they will forever have their big brother/sister watching over them x x it is scary to try again but if you decide you want to then speak to your midwife or gp when you conceive and explain what happened, they should be able to offer more support like early scans. I did this this time round and my midwife has been wonderful and though it's been a stressful, turbulant journey especially in the first trimester it's worth it now x x sending you both lots of love and hugs x x

 

[Me, My Girls & I]

I'm so sorry for your loss

 

[first-timerhello]

Happened to me and my wife too mate. You just need to be there for each other. My wife is pregnant again now but we are very nervous because of the MC last time.

The pain and hurting will ease but won't fully go. Mostly to a dull feelingless pain. It's something you don't really get over.

My wife blamed herself, which I am sure is a common feeling. You just need to be there for her, every step of the way.

Hope you both can hang in there.

Much love

 

[karenandbump]

So, so sorry for your loss....it is heart-breaking to lose a baby at any stage and my heart goes out to you both. Grieve together as in my experience it's very easy to do this separately and it was only when we talked about how we both felt that we started to put the pieces back together.

You are in my thoughts at this difficult time xxx

 

[Mervs Mum]

So sorry

 

[Rowesb]

am so sorry Mike...
... only advice I can give is to allow yourself to grieve, it is a normal healthy process (even if it doesn't necessarily feel so) and take each day at a time... I am pregnant again after a loss in October, scared silly most of the time, but have found it easier to cope by setting really small goals, getting through the day, next event, appt... that sort of thing...

 

[sarl1967]

So sorry mike - id echo what other ladies have said - be there for your wife - but take time to get over this yourself too - we do blame ourselves only natural and im very early stages pregnant again also scared stupid that ill loose this one too but - with each other your strong enought for anything - loads of love x

 

[scoobysti]

Im so sorry for your loss,losing a baby is one of the most heartbreaking things a couple can go through.I also lost my first baby at 21 weeks pregant,he was a little boy.We was absolutely devastated and thought we would never have another baby,but we did and now have 2 beautiful sons.
Please stay strong and be there to support each other through this awful time.
My thoughts and prayers are with you both xx

 

[star]

Hi, I am so sorry that you and your partner are going through this x

Me and partner lost twins at 23 weeks and 4 days, the pain that we both felt inside of us was unbearable, it felt like it was never going to end x it has been nearly 3 months now and the pain is not so bad but there is not a day i do not think about them xx Stay strong for each xx

 

[Mike]

thanks so much for all the comments. heard some good advice that i will try to follow, but all i can say is i am glad we lost them when we did and not during birth or close to. to spend 9 months caring for the baby while it grows and then have that happen would just be a living nightmare. cannot imagine how ppl get over that.

i suppose im kinda luck. i have my mrs and she has me, and it happend kinda early in the pregnancy, other are alone and are not so lucky.

 

[smess26]

Mike you sound like such a lovely bloke and your wife is
In good hands!! It's such a hard
Thing to go through as a women you tend to forget how the husbands partners are doing!
I myself have had to mc in 4 months both at 8 weeks and I found talking really really helped talk to your wife.

I wish you both the luck in the world and really sorry to hear what happened x

 

[JJ Mum]

So sorry this happened Mike, I really feel for you

I had one at nearly 12 weeks in march and we were devestated, it never goes away, but it really does ease to a manageable level even with a few random moments, which is natural. I would just say hang on to that lovely closeness and supportiveness that you seem to have with each other, and you are halfway there to a recovery of sorts already.

It really will happen for you two, nothing will stop you being nervous or scared that it will happen again, but make small bitesized milestones that will help you pass the weeks by.

I don't think I will ever be sure this one will happen after having the MC, but try to think positively until you know otherwise , or you will drive youself mad, you have no control unfortunately on what happened last time or what will happen this time, so I would say try going with it..and see where it takes you

Sending you my thoughts this week X

 

[Mike]

u no what, i dont want to sound like a utter panzie but u lot have just brought a tear to my eye, lol.

thanks alot, i really mean it.

i feel so different, it seems stupid but i suppose just being told that it will happen again just makes it better. hearing it from the same old family members just dont do it, u just think well there going to say that just to make it better.

good luck to everyone trying, and i wish u all the very best for the futre.

thanks everyone.
i wont get over it but the penny has just dropped. the futre holds many things and im stuck worrying over what has happend in the past. im gonna push through it.
me and the mrs will make it, we will make it happen one day and until then, i suppose we will have fun trying. he he.

thanks.
Mike.

 

[JJ Mum]

u no what, i dont want to sound like a utter panzie but u lot have just brought a tear to my eye, lol.

thanks alot, i really mean it.

i feel so different, it seems stupid but i suppose just being told that it will happen again just makes it better. hearing it from the same old family members just dont do it, u just think well there going to say that just to make it better.

good luck to everyone trying, and i wish u all the very best for the futre.

thanks everyone.
i wont get over it but the penny has just dropped. the futre holds many things and im stuck worrying over what has happend in the past. im gonna push through it.
me and the mrs will make it, we will make it happen one day and until then, i suppose we will have fun trying. he he.

thanks.
Mike.

Very well said Mike !!
It's very true - I found once I started TTC again, I suddenly had something exciting to focus on again - good luck when you and your wife are ready X

 

[FebMum2Be]

Sorry for your loss, it will happen for you both Good luck for TTC when you are both ready xx

 

[smess26]

Wishing you and your wife the very
Best and as you said it's fun trying!!!!
Good luck!!!