Did I have a Chemical miscarriage or is the dr wrong??

[babygurl1989]

Hello,

I am 22 yrs old. I have never been pregnant before and have only been sexually active for about 7 mos. I get my period regularly on a set schedule. It is never very bad...the first day is uncomfortable but after that its fine. Nothing major and not gushing amts of blood. I last got my period on 8/30. I have been hungry and eating incredible amts of food. I felt bloated the whole month of sept. I got lots of stress/migraine headaches and 9/28-29 I began thinking maybe I was pregnant. I was super emotional the whole month of sept. Crying all the time. Over stupid little stuff too! I even told my fiancee on 9/28 that I might be pregnant. I didn't take a home pregnancy test because I figured Id wait another week to see if I got my period.

On 10/1-10/3 I had occasional spotting of just brownish discharge just when Id wipe. but it was only occassionally and never very much. I would think it was my period and put in a tampon because normally when I see rusty colored discharge I know Ill get my period by the end of the day. However it never came. On 10/3 I woke up at 6:30am went to the bathroom and had a bit of brown discharge when I wiped then some bright red discharge. It was spotting not very much. I figured id just wait it out rather than waste another tampon. My fiancee and I started having intercourse around 8:30am and he pulled out in the middle of it and I saw bright red thin blood on him. I went to the bathroom and wiped and it was bright red. (normally its a little thicker and darker red...this blood almost looked pure). I put a tampon in and thats when the cramps started. So bad that I had to lay on the bed and was moaning for 15 mins straight not moving. I told my fiancee it felt like a mini mini mini labor. thats how severe the pain was. We had to go to my place and I had waves of pain coursing through my body...my temperature was elevated and i was sweating. It hurt so much and it was all I could do to whisper. My lower back was also hurting altho I do get that with my period as well sometimes. I am not a wimp when it comes to pain either. I felt nauseous and threw up in the bathroom. It has been 45 min since i put the tampon in. when vomiting, i felt a rush of liquid and figured I just leaked a little squirt of urine...but when I checked myself I saw that the blood had soaked through my tampon, underwear and pants! This has never ever happened before.

After that I changed my tampon every 45 mins to an hr for about 3 hrs. Then the bleeding went back to a normal flow for a period. the cramps lessened when I took excedrin menstrual pills. But I still had faint pains throughout the day (i took those pills throughout the day.) I also developed diahrea around 4pm that lasted up until I went to bed.

I called my friend and she said she thinks it might have been a miscarriage. I looked online and saw everything about chemical pregnancies. I would really like to know if I was pregnant and miscarried. I went to the doctor today and she took blood and I got the results over the phone and they told me the pregnancy test was negative. However, my friend had a one month 2 week pregnancy miscarried last month. She said her symptoms were similar to mine...she got a test done at her doctors and her pregnancy test said negative. She got an ultrasound to see why she wasn't able to conceive and they told her she had miscarried.

My questions are... do you think I had a chemical pregnancy/miscarriage? Should I ask my doctor to retest my blood? should I ask for an ultrasound? I saw online that the empty sac from even a 4 week pregnancy might be able to be seen. I don't know how far along I was. I got my period in end of August but my breasts were super sore in august. I just felt pregnant in sept. Im thinking I was 1 month and one week pregnant if I was. What should I do??? Any advice?? My fiancee and I are alone in all of this...

 

[dyscochick]

This must be very tough for you, but its sounds like you have a very supportive OH.

I don't have the answers but didn't want to read and run. Firstly I would hazard a guess that you may have had a chemical pregnancy but with negative blood tests and no positive home pregnancy test I'm not sure that anyone can be absolutely sure. It sounds like you passed everything with that much blood coming so I suspect an ultra sound wouldn't show anything either as you would be back to normal again. Did your Dr think you had a chemical pregnancy? If you were pregnant, sadly you aren't now, and there is nothing really to do other than try again if you want to get pregnant or use protection if you don't. I don't mean to sound blunt but those of us who have been there are all surprised at the little amount of follow up there is, even with pregnancies further along that miscarry/are stillborn. Keep it in mind so that if you have problems later when trying to conceive or with other pregnancies that they take this into account but for now I'm afraid there is little to do but decide that it was a chemical pregnancy and move forward. I hope that helps, I'm not a medic so some of this might be wrong, but its the best advice I can give. xx

 

[netty]

hey hunny, it sounds like it may have been a chemical pregnancy as this is usully a late period, if the blood has passed now then you will get a negative result. I am not sure what they can do to proove this has happened, maybe a scan? I would get an appt at your local early pregnancy unit if poss.

I know how confusing all this can be hun, xxxx

 

[CARNAT22]

I've just had a chemical pregnancy but I did actually take a test and had a positive result, so I know for a fact what it was.

I cannot say one way or another what happened to you OP, but my experience was my period was late [I took a test when it was two days late, BFP], but the 5 days later I started spotting which then turned into a heavy, painful period.

Even without the BFP I would have known it was not a "normal" period - It was more painful, heavier etc.

Sadly both my GP and the EPU were frigging useless with me. GP couldn't see me to give me a blood test to prove I'd been pregnant in time (I wanted the CP on my file as I also had a M/C back in May) and EPU didn't view me as a priority so told me that unless I have any further complications not to come in. It was too early to scan me anyway.

Sorry I am not much use OP and sorry for what happened to you

xxxxxxxxxx

 

[Dragonfly Fi]

sweetie if anything like this happens again you must NOT use tampons! Tampons suck up moisture but they dont sort out the gunk and other stuff that comes out also when we have a period (especially a late period or MC) so you must protect your inner bits and let the nasties come out, not block it up with a tampon

it will make your craps easier too x

I would say for the next period or so do not use a tampon use pads or a mooncup, that way you will get some of the more mucus-y crap out too x

 

[dyscochick]

also just to add to what BB said, the use of tampons could increase the risk of infection so as she said, avoid using them and use pads if it happens again (I hope it doesn't but you also might want to use them for your next period to make sure you have a proper clearout!)

 

[netty]

whats a mooncup big bump?

 

[Dragonfly Fi]

HAHAHAH i meant Cramps not Craps LOL (though that too thinking about it! lol)

a mooncup is one of these

http://www.mooncup.co.uk/about-the-mooncup.html

it is great because it collects all the goo and gunk and when you pull it out it sort of pulls some of the goo and gunk out on top of that. I have had friends who have had to have doctors write to their work because they are unable to do anything on heavy period days because of cramps, who have used a mooncup and gone from utter pain every month to a much much easier experience.

they are great, they are eco and best of all they feel like nothing when they are inside you (much nicer than a tampon) ad you dont get that soggy towel between the legs feeling like you do with sanitary towels

the only problems with them are 1 - you have to empty them but thats no different to changing a sanitary towel and 2 they come with a very long stalk which most women trim off, there are a few copies now that have a ball instead of a stalk which look much more comfy x

 

[Dragonfly Fi]

Oh yeah, they can also reduce a period down in days, because they actually assist your body in emptying the mucus-y gunk that we get. coz a period isnt blood and runny, its actually a lot thicker than that, which is why tampons shouldnt be the only thing you use and you should always have one day of your period where you use a pad (at least) because otherwise you arent going to be properly empty x

 

[netty]

I never knew that??? Terrible how ;little i know about my own body lol.

Big Bump, i had to laugh when you said craps, i wondered how it would help lol xx

 

[netty]

that mooncup looks a little itimidating but sounds far far better than tampons

 

[Dragonfly Fi]

Yes I was quite shocked when I first encountered one! They are extra comfy though and I wouldn't be without one now!

 

[babygurl1989]

Thanks for all your responses. I am at a loss as to what I should do. I want to push the issue to find out...for health and conception reasons later on as well as my emotional health. Right now I feel the need to grieve but can't let myself until I know for sure. But deep down I FEEL like I lost something. I know feelings and emotions cant be trusted...and my fiancee prefers to believe the Dr...he doesn't want the MC to be true because that might mean something is wrong w his swimmers. He has had w at least one or two of his past gfs report of possible MC. He said they weren't reliable on info since they werent the most honest women...so he prefers to believe I just had a weird period.

Dyscochick: my Dr thought it was a weird period that's it. But I've only been to her abt 4 times. I told her the difference between this period and my normal ones. I am not ttc. I love children and hope to have them someday. I was born to be a mother. Everyone tells me that. I was at a birthday party for my friend and one of his guy friends started talking to me and out of the blue said..ya know...I don't know what it is and don't take this the wrong way but u look like ur gonna be one of those women that were born to be great mothers.

I don't know...but I do know that this child if I was indeed pregnant (I refuse to say that a chemical pre. Is not a baby. It is a baby at the moment of conception! ) would have been cherished.

I keep telling my fiancée that I feel like I should push the issue. That I feel like i did have a MC. He wants me to let it be. Our money situation isn't ideal right now so even tho he would've Been estatic if I was pregnant it would've been a challenge. I long for a child...if I was married and in a more secure financial place I would be ttc. W my family the WY they r...ttc before marriage is not an option.

I had some mucuos. But not a bunch. My period has slowed down so much in just the full day its been since it happened. Happened on 10/3...

The only reason I didn't take n hpt is because I was busy w family from out of town and if they saw the evidence they'd pass out.


Sry this is so long. I'm just concerned and feel alone. Like I said...I feel the need to grieve for a loss but I cannot let myself until I know for sure. I've had so much stress recently...i hope I'm not cracking!

Moon cup sounds scary but I'll look into it lol. And yes I was wondering abthow it would help w craps too lol. my cramps r never that bad and I never had the waves of pain that I had at the time. And I know it wasn't from a cyst because I had one a few yrs ago and that was a different kind of pain. This pain felt like my body wanted something out NOW!

Again..sry this is so long. I forgot to mention to you guys and my Dr. I know when u have ur period the egg comes out kinda mushed looking like a blood clot and is darkburgundy...well when I took out the tampon for a few hrs after I read on a site that u shouldn't have one in... I remembered my mom saying when i first got my period that whenever I am on the toilet I should push to expel any gunk collecting. So I figured I'd try and see what comes out. In the base of the toilet bowl there was a chunk (5 mm long...a lil thickerthan string..it looked solid but it wasn't a circle it was almost a lil curved not Lima bean looking tho.)anyways there was this chunk of solid dark stuff and then two lil dark redspots by it. Just resting on the bottom of the toilet. I showed my fiancée...and then I flushed it. I didn't take a pic. Was it just the clots of blood or eggs or whatever that we get on a normal period? Thanks guys!

 

[babygurl1989]

Should I also mention that the whole month of Sept i was seeing pregnant women or mothers w babies everywhere and I'd get jealous or upset or feel like crying for no reason. I couldn't understand it cause normally I'd just be like...oh how nice! But when I'd see them this past month I'd get jealous to the point where I'd get crabby and tell my fiancée that I had an overwhelming desire to be that mommy...don't wanna sound psycho..but y'all know what I mean?he just says when the time is right it will happen...but I couldn't make him understand how frustrated I felt w these new feelings. And now I feel sad but he's already put the possibility of an MC out of his mind so he's fine...I'll get quiet or start crying and he doesn't understand.

 

[dyscochick]

Hun, It sounds like it really was a chemical pregnancy. You have the right to feel however you want about the pregnancy, but please don't have on to the idea that you might get proof you were pregnant. This is unlikely to have anything to do with your OH swimmers. If he got you pregnant once he will again. We have no idea why mc's happen for the most part (this process has been a huge learning experience for me) but if you hang around on here just in this small community it is frighteningly common up to 12 weeks, and not uncommon after that although thankfully rarer. Even if you push the issue with your doc at this point it is unlikely that there is anything they can do to determine whether you were or weren't pregnant. If you mc at 12 weeks like i did my body was back to normal within weeks, so with a chemical pregnancy where you are pregnant for less, its likely to be even quicker, evidenced by a negative blood test. I'm not telling you to just move on and forget it hun, cos I can see that you can't. But maybe if you can accept it was an mc in your heart, grieve in your way and look forward to what you want from your life now. I know mine focused me much more on having kids as we weren't really trying when i got pregnant.

Also bear in mind that if your last period was end of august, you didn't get pregnant until mid sept, so you may have been 3 weeks at a push. because you ovulate 2 weeks after your period (roughly) you were pregnant for 3 weeks. the Dr measure it from last period which would put you at 4-5 but your body has actually only been pregnant only for 3 (confusing i know!). What you saw in the loo was probably a blood clot which have contained some material but at that stage its teenytiny so you wouldn't have seen anything substantial. Its an awful feeling to flush though hun, I know, I did that at 12 weeks when I mc'd at home.

OH will struggle to understand, and you may have to accept that. They can struggle later too. My OH was amazing when it happened but I'm not sure he really gets why it still upsets me occasionally now. He just knows to give me cuddle.

I hope you can find some peace with it but the last few weeks have taught me that searching for answers is neverending and ultimately no use. You need 3 mc's for a doc to refer you to a specialist (its that common sadly) so if you are unlucky enough to get the same happen again (keep an HPT handy so you know if you are pg again), keep a record yourself. Every mc is tough, I wish more was known about why xx

 

[babygurl1989]

Shouldn't the day after it happened...shouldn't there be some positive results? I don't know. I really do feel like it was an MC. My fiancée thinks I'm crazy cause as he put it...tests don't lie. What I'm thinking is that i conceived and then after the two week incubation period when it was supposed to implant..I think it just kept going and that's why I ended up bleeding. Because I never get brownish goo days before my period. Nor have I ever gotten spotting. I looked up the moon up and it looks wonderful altho if u wear it at night since its an open cup will the blood travel back up because of laying down?

Also do you think extreme stress could have anything to do w it? The night before...my fiancée got super mad at me and got a bit physical...its always very traumatic to me when that happens...shoving...yelling...holding me down (not smothering me...just holding my arm or headlocks or stuff to prove a point I guess) or grabbing my hair. I get very upset when this happens...upset as in crying upset...not lashing out mad upset. Could this have affected it? He's a great guy don't get the wrong idea...its just sometimes he gets crabby. Its only happened one other time in the 2 Yrs we've been dating. He's working on his temper. Just didn't want u thinking he's some serial abuser.

 

[CARNAT22]

Have you Googled chemical pregnancies hun?

I did a lot of reading about them after I had mine, but there does seem to be a consensus about a few things:
1) chemical pregnancy usually occurs after a positive result but before confirmation from a professional
2) Many women do not know they have had a chemical pregnancy as unless they are TTC they may not monitor their cycles closely. I knew my period was late this time and we'd been NTNP but many times in the past my periods have been a little late, a week late but as I was using condoms I didn't take a test

It does seem difficult now to prove you actually had one in a medical sense. But I know what you are saying - my CP was not a heavy period and even without the BFP I would have known in my bones it wasn't 'just a period'

I will not have my CP on my medical file as my GP could not see me to take bloods and the EPU would not see me... I had a M/C in May so next time I am pregant I am going to push the issue that I also had a CP to my GP.. I am so pi55ed off that this will not be on my file.

However I have decided to not be bitter about it and concetrate on getting my body and mind healthy again for my future baby!

Urm, as for the "shoving...yelling...holding me down" aspect I have nothing to say hun! Sorry but to me that is unacceptable and it most certainly IS abuse.

I do not think you should be having a baby with a man that treats you like that!

Jesus, if he gets 'crabby' and treats you like that after two years of dating what is he going to be like when you live together and have a screaming baby !!!

 

[Dragonfly Fi]

Mooncup would not make anything run back up... that is what a liquid would do and period is not like a liquid its like a goo. Far far worse to wear tampons at night x

 

[babygurl1989]

As soon as the thought crossed my mind of an MC and my friend said it sounded like hers...then I looked online for 5 hrs straight and researched different types and decided mine sounded like a cp. I just hate the fact that there is no way of knowing because I didn't take a test when I felt pregnant. It seems so unfair but I know life isn't fair. Good luck on getting pregnant again...I'm rooting for ya!

 

[cosmicgirl]

He puts you in a headlock or holds you down when he gets "crabby"???? Massive alarm bells, I do not think you should be having a relationship with this abusive person, nevermind a baby! Let me tell you, when you've been up for weeks with a screaming baby, you get more than crabby!