I've never suffered physical abuse but my Ex was a complete nightmare mentally.
We lived together and I actually think he was mentally unwell. Sometimes I'd come home and he's be all over me, other times I'd come home and be called a whore (as I was maybe 10 minutes late so obviously I'd been with my other man?)
He would sometimes ignore me for days on end, if I ever went out without him he would call me constantly and usually put me so much on edge I'd have a crap time. Or worse still he'd turn up uninvited and make all my female friends feel uncomfortable.
He would throw money at me and pay bills himself that were meant to be joint in the hope that I became financailly dependant on him.
He would be nasty about my friends, call me a slag / tart if I wore anything slightly revealing and when I succesfully lost 40lbs and got down to a size 8 he told me I looked like an AIDS victim...
Of course it wasn't always horrible and prior to living together I very rarely saw his nasty side..
In all truthfullness I wasn't even in love with the guy but 16 months of his mental abuse had done the trick. I felt trapped, I did feel as though no-one else would ever want me. I felt unattractive and detatched from my friends.
It was only when his own mother told me she thought I could do better (after he'd got so drunk at a family do he started calling me names and his OWN mother threw him out) that I took action.
I went back to my parents the very next afternoon and they took me back to the flat we shared. I packed my whole life into 5 bin bags and left.
It was the best thing I ever did.
7 months later I'd met my OH and we'd moved in together and never for a milisecond in 4 years has my OH been anything other than an angel. We argue sometimes, we rub each other up the wrong way sometimes but never has that been anything more. He has never called me a name, he has never made derogatory comments about my weight / appereance. He is not jealous or possessive. He has certainly never laid a finger on me.
The thought of being pregnant by my Ex was terrifying (we used condoms but I was so scared every month in case I was and I'd be stuck with him for life) with my OH I cannot wait to have his baby!
It's hard to leave a bully but the longer you stay the harder it becomes.
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