****December 2014 mums to be! Christmas babies!!*****

[nikb]

Rose lovely bump pic. X
Ignore the questioning of your choices. It's your baby and your choice. I'm lucky none of our family are like that. My mum found it hard because we just went and got stuff so she asked if she could get us a steriliser and bottles before we did ha ha. I think my mum is pleased we live close as my brother and sister don't see them much so I know she is hoping to see us more and the baby.

I feel heavier today and a bit tight. Hips are a bit sore too. Apart from that I'm fine and OH told me I looked really bright this morning. I didn't feel it though lol

 

[Cariad Bach]

Morning all! Well I didn't sleep very well last night. I seem to have fidgety legs and just couldn't get comfortable and felt achy all over. Feeling tired too.

That's a good idea Rose to do an Amazon wish list. I did wonder what that tab option was for lol - I've been using it just for me

I think you will have to stand up to your SIL by the sounds of it and just let her know you know what you are doing. I'm with you on this as it makes you start to doubt yourself. I think I'm going to have a nightmare when leaving our child with the MIL as she will be giving the child food which I won't want them to have and making me out to be the enemy to the child. I've seen her do it with the other grandchildren and I don't like it. Dont get me wrong they are a loving family and would do anything for us but sometimes she can be spiteful - its a Welsh Mam thing I think. I remember when my brother in law and wife were having their first baby that they didn't want any visitors at home for the first few days as they wanted to have time to settle in and that's all the MIL said was well i'm not even allowed to see the baby! Well I'll have great pleasure of breaking the same news to her!

I even thought last night coudl I manage without a pram to save her buying us one lol. Now who's being spiteful lol. I'm not usually this childish and usually just leave things go over my head but once our child is involved I think my natural instinct to protect will kick in and I will turn into a monster! I've told hubby straight I'm not having it.

What bath have you chosen Rose? I was looking at those foldable sink ones....

 

[Goat]

Nikb and Cariad, hope you feel a bit better than you did this morning?

I'm 20 weeks tomorrow! Precisely half way there! 140 days down, 140 to go!x

 

[SaraLouise]

Wooo half way! Such an achievement Goat, congrats x

I'm almost there myself! X

 

[Goat]

Yay! Thanks Saralouise. I saw the Jan mummies are starting to move into tri 2! Makes everything feel even more real!!x

 

[Rose83]

Cariad what I've actually asked for is the tippitoes bath support. All the people who I know who have had babies recently have said they only used a baby bath for a couple of weeks then just used the actual bath with a support. I'm going to just try without a mini bath at all, I only live in a flat and don't want to clutter the place up with all this pointless stuff if I don't need it. I even had to justify the fact I didn't want a top and tail bowl, did some research and loads of people say they never use them or if they really ended to would just use a Tupperware bowl. I don't see the point of getting one that matches the bath that I also don't want! My OH said he is going to deal with her because he is fed up with hearing about it too!

I totally get what you mean about food too, the SIL did that with her other brother's baby, his partner was an advocate of all natural foods and making it all herself with no sugar or anything. But as soon as SIL had him to look after she was saying 'I'm not going to eat a pack of chocolate buttons and not give him one.' Makes me furious - no one has the right to make that choice other than the parents.

I have days where I start to panic about how suffocated I'm going to feel by everyone trying to tell me what to do x

 

[Goat]

Just make sure you stand your ground or get oh to do it for you. Don't be afraid of offending and if you don't want something then please please don't feel you need to accept it. I remember my aunty offering me her old sofas when we were looking for new ones, I didn't like them and she told me I was wasting my money. So I left it for a bit, bought the ones I wanted and then told her and said I'd be more than happy to sell your sofas on eBay for you and give you all the money. She accepted and I managed to get her £100!
It's lovely people offering but they need to understand when to stop pushing.

The most irritating comment I would get from anyone when baby was born was 'oh she's crying? She must be hungry!' Omg it's the most annoying comment in the world. I would get so snappy. Or everyone's favourite 'have you fed her?' No no I'm starving her, yes she's really hungry but thanks for pointing it out I wouldn't ever consider feeding her unless I have visitors telling me what to do. Sorry that clearly brought up so pent up anger!!x

As for the baby bath, we had one but it was so annoying so we ended up using the bathroom sink for the first 4 months!

 

[Rose83]

Thanks Goat - some good advice. This is the thing that is driving me nuts is it's like they think I haven't done any research with recent mothers! Like I've just randomly picked some item without thinking it through. Last time she had a baby was 13 years ago, so as soon as you say something she really doesn't agree with you get the answer 'things must have changed then' in this way that means 'I don't believe you for a second but I'll let you think you are right'. I really do love OH's family but this is just driving me nuts - I still have 5 months to go and I'm getting daily pictures of things she has bought or wants to buy and there is no easy way to say 'I'm sorry that's not my taste' without coming off as rude. I'm already starting to worry about the comments we'll get in a couple of years time when we move into the next local authority area because the schools where I am are terrible - but as she sent her kids to them she'll be saying there's nothing wrong with them - there very definitely is! X

 

[Rose83]

Wow I've turned into such a moaning Minnie this week! X

 

[nikb]

Feeling a bit better Goat. Think I was up and down and too much bending today as was a little sore earlier but baby getting their own back by kicking away lol.

Rose you're not a moaning Minnie. You're frustrated and need to vent and I'm sure the others will agree that if you want to vent here then do so as we are all here to support each other. I hope it all settles down for you xx

Goat how exciting being 20 weeks tomorrow! I'm so looking forward to getting there! X

On another subject me and OH are getting tickets to go and see Billy Connelly in October (hopefully). He is going to do a show in Dundee which is not far from us so fingers crossed we are quick enough to get tickets on Friday.

 

[nikb]

My god OBEM not even started properly and I'm nearly crying already ha ha

 

[SaraLouise]

Hey ladies, my turn for a little rant/vent...

I have decided that I'm going to be a bit of a hard ass this pregnancy in regards to labour/birth. The IUGR aside, I felt when I was pregnant with Harrison I had no control over my decisions, I felt like I was pushed into being induced & pushed into the decisions that were made whilst I was in Labour. I've been doing lots of research on inductions and I have decided that unless baby is in imminent danger I am going to refuse intervention. We are being regularly growth scanned with this little guy and I think as long as he seems like he's doing okay, even if they believe his weight is on the lower end I am going to stand my ground & insist on going naturally. Similarly, if I end up going more than 12 days over, I am going to request that I be seen daily by a midwife to check baby is okay, but again still wait to go naturally if everything seems okay.

I know this all sounds very hippish & like in being selfish putting myself before baby but I am actually trying to do the opposite. My Labour with Harrison was so traumatic, and we both suffered for the actions that were taken that day, he was not ready to come out & my body was not ready to labour. Because of this we had problems with bonding, feeding & just general health & I want to give baby Zachary the best start to his little life.

Dont get me wrong, I would never put his life in jeopardy if they felt it was 100% necessary I would go for it.

Anyway, I needed to get it off my chest as my OH doesn't really understand the emotional toll being induced took on me, he just has the opinion that Labour is Labour & it doesn't matter what how it starts or what happens during, as long as baby is okay. And whilst I completely agree, obviously Zacharys health & well being is my absolute priority, I also feel as if its important for me to do what I feel is right.

 

[Goat]

Sara, that doesn't sound selfish at all. You're doing what's best for you and your baby! Like you say if baby looks fine and healthy on the scans, why disturb him when it's totally unnecessary? I think your oh will understand, it's harder for them to get it as they arent the ones thinking about these choices every second of the day, they seen to have an ability to switch off from it. I think it sounds like you've really thought this through and have a sensible plan in place.x

 

[nikb]

Good for you Sara, stick to what you feel is right for you and baby xx

 

[Emmy81]

Families certainly become more trying that usual during pregnancy! I am discovering this with helpful comments from the MIL like saying to hubby "tell her to stop reading about it, its all instinct you don't need books" which okay might be true to an extent but due to being a complete novice and never having been around babies I am just trying to educate myself a bit!! Plus it has been almost 40 years since she had a baby so without meaning to sound harsh I am sure things have changed quite a bit since then!

At the weekend my mum decided to try to be helpful by looking at my 'baby lists' that I have made for things I am going to stock up on. She started by asking what a swaddle was (wasn't sure myself before I was pregnant) and then why do I need muslin cloths when kitchen roll would do?! Lol! x

 

[SaraLouise]

Oh God Emmy I can tell you from having a one year old that we still use muslins now! for snot noses ect. But when he was a newborn we literally used about 20 a day lol, so that is something I deffo recommend stocking up on.. kitchen roll will not suffice haha! X

 

[wifeywifey]

Sara I know exactly how you feel (its bot exactly the same but I will have my home birth) iv said unless something is wrong or the growth scan shows baby is so tiny will need help I am doing it at home. Have a word with your mw mine was so supportive of my decision which really surprised me. Basically unluss and serious concern she will back me. I can't remember why you are having the scans sorry but she basically thought mine was a waste of time.
To all you whose family are being pushy and buying things etc it will calm down when babies are born. I gave so much stuff away I didn't need. I think they just wanted to be involved. I was lucky and didn't have anyone trying to buy me the big stuff tho.
I have decided as me and my sister have three boys that if we have a girl I wont be telling anyone the sex (will say baby was being funny) because I know people will go mad buying stuff I dont need or want.

 

[Cariad Bach]

I'm with you on that Sara. I think I will feel the same I won't be letting them intervent unless there is a real risk to me or baby. I think you should try and let nature take it's course. Funnily enough I was talking to hubby last night about breast feeding problems and that some women can't physically do it and I said I want time to bond with baby and have them close to my body as that I would think would help with milk production....? I haven't read any books and at the moment I feel like I'm just going to go on my instinct and relax. I think it will come naturally to me - wishful thinking! I may be in for a big shock! lol

I spoke to a friend yesterday and she said she hardly used her bath so I don't think I'm going to bother! Hubby is on side with possibly doing without a pram too lol. Oh we are stubbon and tight lol. I think I'll use the sink and get one of those supports to go in the bath for later on.

Emmy - kitchen roll lol! I'm going to stock up on swaddle and muslin cloths too. Friends have said that you cannot have enough muslin clothes, and when the baby is older the dribble bibs are great as it stops dribble running all the way down their little necks.

 

[SaraLouise]

I literally cannot believe the conversation I just had with my neighbour...

Just saw my neighbour....

Neighbour " oh we you expecting again? "
Me "yep we must be mad ey?"
Neighbour "when you due? do you know what your having yet?"
Me "due december, another little boy"
Neighbour "ah you must be so disappointed, right over Christmas too"
Me (in utter shock lol) "ugh, no not atall, will be nice having two of the same when they are so close in age"
Neighbour "yeah, always disappointing though isn't it anyday ta-ra" and walks off..

What an awful thing to say someone!?

 

[Goat]

Morning all! Sara I've come to the conclusion most people are just plain rude!!

I was the opposite when it came to muslins, I bought loads and loads and barely used them. Though she rarely spat up or was sick thankfully. I was a massive fan of the dribble bibs though!

I've taken today off as I was up all night with a stomach bug. Watching crappy day time TV and love it!

Hope you're all ok and nikb hope you're feeling better and how exciting about seeing Billy Connelly!x