Conflicting advice. Leave to cry or not?

Discussion in 'Baby & Toddler' started by Hunnie, Jan 31, 2012.

  1. Hunnie

    Hunnie Well-Known Member

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    I don't really know which advise to take on this.

    I personally don't like leaving Sophie to cry for too long, especially as she is so young still. If I'm busy at the time she starts crying I'll quickly finish what I was doing if it's only a small job and I will generally then pick her up and soothe her of see what's wrong and will keep hold of her till she settles again and then put her back down. At night if she starts crying I'll pick her up and just hold her till she settles again and then put her back in her crib and she generally settles quite well.

    However quite a few people have said that me doing this will only make her clingy and cause problems to start later on and if I don't watch it now then it will be hard to break the habit she gets into.

    I don't want her to be clingy when she's older but at the minute I just feel shes far too young to let her get worked up crying. :( Not quite sure what I should do :/, carry on as I'm doing and let her grow out of wanting to be so close or leave her to cry when she's just wanting to be comforted?
     
  2. charliebear

    charliebear Well-Known Member

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    I completely agree with you. That is what we did with AJ and will do for future babies. :)

    At 2 weeks I'd never leave a baby to cry.
    I personally believe cuddling and comforting baby now will not lead to a baby being clingy later on.
    Baby is used to being with you 24/7, hearing your voice/your heartbeat, that is what soothes and calms Baby.
    (sorry for prattling on!)
    We didnt leave AJ to cry until around 7 months and then he was only left for 5 mins at a time whilst he was learning to settle himself to nap.
     
  3. Amy_J

    Amy_J Well-Known Member

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    At two weeks i would definately not leave a baby to cry at this age its their only way of communication and definately a sign of hunger,thirst wet nappy or such like.... Go with your instinct. You will miss all the closeness when ur lo is older and more independant and running around! I agree with everything charliebear sayd and i did and will do the same infuture. X
     
  4. MrsR

    MrsR Well-Known Member

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    IMHO (and people will probably disagree) I find it awful that we are quick to tend to a baby's physical needs (hunger, pain) but are constantly told its wrong to want to tend to their emotional needs. If a baby cries, they are saying they want something. Is it so wrong for them to cry for a cuddle? I would definitely not leave her to cry especially if YOU don't want to. I have heard so many people say to me that I spoil Sebastian by not letting him cry (be it cry himself to sleep, cry if I'm doing something and he wants a hug etc) but at the end of the day he is my baby and I'll do what I think is best. If you don't feel comfortable letting her cry then don't. If you're comfortable with it, then do. It's up to you honey.
     
  5. Amy_J

    Amy_J Well-Known Member

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    Helen i totally agree!!! Xxx
     
  6. MrsR

    MrsR Well-Known Member

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    Glad I made sense! I was worried I'd prattled on a bit :D
     
  7. l_maclean

    l_maclean Well-Known Member

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    I've absolutely no experience personally. But we were discussing this at antenatal tonight, and mw was saying that yes - crying is there only means of communication - so can be cos they're tired/wet/hungry. But can also sometimes mean they are over tired.

    She said if you've checked all the others, sometimes it's worth letting them cry for a little while to see if they are just trying get themselves settled. A bit like when we are grumbling to ourselves.

    That said, you need to do what makes you comfy. Xxx
     
  8. MrsR

    MrsR Well-Known Member

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    That's fair enough a suggestion but-what's wrong with cuddling baby to sleep instead of letting them cry?
     
  9. l_maclean

    l_maclean Well-Known Member

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    Absolutely nothing.

    They way I took it was she meant sometimes they really don't want anything - just like adults they sometimes want a wee grumble. She didn't mean leaving them for ages though. She was also saying they can get uncomfy being handled too much - I've heard older generations say that as well. Xxx
     
  10. NinjaKitty

    NinjaKitty Well-Known Member

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    We learnt quite early on that Jonah had what I call a faddle cry. Where he'd grumble and then decide to settle. It's very different from the sounds he makes when he is hungry or needs a nappy or is uncomfortable. We'll generally give him time to settle but I won't let it go on for ages. I also won't let him cry for ages and I hate it if he gets to a ry angry shakey baby stage. That only happens if he wakes early for a feed and we're not quite ready. I think you get to learn the different sounds your baby makes.
     
  11. Olive

    Olive Well-Known Member

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    I was told the same at antenatal, but couldn't leave him crying. Especially at such a young age. Agree, it's their way of communicating and telling you they need/want something. I'd hate him to feel like I was ignoring him.xx
     
  12. NinjaKitty

    NinjaKitty Well-Known Member

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    Also I think what works for one baby may not work for another. Like I know Jonah doesn't settle well if he has been held all day iykwim. He sort of has a cycle of eat, change, cuddle, awake time, sleep. If he's held a lot during awake time he wont settle and we end up with tired cranky baby.
     
  13. ButterflyBoo_x

    ButterflyBoo_x Well-Known Member

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    Cuddle her hun, shes new and doesn't know what she wants, shes not crying on purpose, Josh was attached to me constantly till he was about 2 months, and hes perfectly fine now, infact hes the only child i know his age who runs to me when i ask for a cuddle, and he ask's for them too!!

    But at 2 weeks she doesn't understand to cry for attention xx
     
  14. Hunnie

    Hunnie Well-Known Member

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    Thank you for all your opinions :)! I just felt like with people telling me what I'm doing is essentially wrong that I was the only one doing it. I think I'll definitely carry on how I am as I'm happy and she seems to be too x
     
  15. l_maclean

    l_maclean Well-Known Member

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    I know it must be hard, but everyone's always got opinions on what you should or shouldn't be doing. At end of the day you need to do what you think is best for you and your little one. Xxx
     
  16. DW1978

    DW1978 Well-Known Member

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    I do exactly as you do hun so I would personally carry on as you are x

    Sent from my HTC Wildfire using Tapatalk
     
  17. Hunnie

    Hunnie Well-Known Member

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    Tonight to put her down she hasn't cried at all so I'm wondering because she was in the moby wrap most of the evening she feels safe and content enough to sleep wherever ?
     
  18. Alexandra84

    Alexandra84 Well-Known Member

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    Same here.
    IMHO babies are meant to be clingy. They are very helpless and would never have survived otherwise. They get more independent with time, when they're ready :)
     
  19. Princess81

    Princess81 Well-Known Member

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    I think that the generation before us must have purely been told to allow babies to cry :( the amount of times I've heard "he's spoilt" from my In laws is insane and infuriating. Having said that you will learn what your baby's cries mean. When cam does a really whiny cry with his eyes shut he's tired and doesn't want me to hold him, he settles when I put him down but continues to cry if I hold him x
     
  20. Elina1231

    Elina1231 Member

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    leave a baby crying ? it's horrible. I can't stand it . All babies would be like this ?
     

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