Letting baby cry

[MummyJess]

I think your health visitor is really out of order speaking to you like that. She is entitled to her opinion but she shouldn't make you feel bad. 3 weeks is still so tiny and you are still bonding. She needs to trust you to respond to her cries.

My daughter still had a quick 5 min feed when she woke at night up until about 10 months as it was the quickest and easiest way to settle her, especially as she shares a room with my older girls. None of my kids have been great sleepers so I just do what I can to settle them quickly and get back to bed. My HV tried to make me stop feeding them at night, saying they were more likely to sleep if I didn't but I said I was happy with my decision and she left it at that!!

Please don't feel that the professionals know everything, they are only human and although they can often give good advice, you and your baby have to do what is right for you. Always trust your instincts.

Congratulations on your beautiful baby x

 

[Kylie1007]

I wish that I had done it with Finn from a younger age because he's 9 months now and we've been unsuccessful so far in getting him to get himself to sleep. I give him 5 minutes crying and then go back in, pop the dummy back in and he cries like his heart is broken when I leave.

 

[abcd1234]

Well i'm definately just going to stick with what we're doing now, she gets left to winge and when she makes her distinct "i'm actually awake and want something" noise we get her up.

The HV was asking if i wanted to try and get her to bed earlier etc today but i just said no, for now i'm happy with her going to sleep around 11 and getting up when shes ready.

I cant leave her to cry at night cos either way i'd be awake and it's easier to get her up change her and feed her then she's asleep soon enough.

I'm going to go with my instincts, when i feel she's ready i'll try letting her settle herself but for now i'm happy

 

[debecca]

I think you're doing brilliantly

Connie's bedtime was 10/11pm until she was about 10 weeks I think... she naturally started to get more tired earlier after that.

 

[LisaJ1986]

My Nursery Nurse has told me today to leave her to cry for 20mins or so. I think it's down to her being clingy. I'm to lay her down awake and let her teach herself to sleep otherwise it'll be harder in future. I just can't do it. Besides her having injections today so she's not overly easy i just leave her to sleep then lay her down. She falls asleep on the boob so i can't take her away while awake. I can do it sometimes as i can tell her cries for when she will sleep in a matter of minutes, but not for 20mins or so!

 

[KJ]

Well, looks like I'm going to be the harsh, uncaring mother out of us all.

Me and DH left Asher to cry from birth. Not perhaps in the way that your health visitor is suggesting.

For example: he slept in our room in a moses basket for the first 4 months of his life. If we put him down and he started crying, DH would cuddle me and we would lie there for 5 mins or so and just wait, and hey presto! 9 times out of 10, he would fall asleep! Obviously if he kept crying, we would pick him up and try to find out what was wrong.

Now he's 10 months old and 99% of the time when I put him in his cot, whether it's for a daytime nap or for bedtime, we don't hear a peep out of him. He never cries or fusses, just falls asleep! Whether it was because we left him a bit when he was younger I don't know, but he's definitely got an A* for sleeping and not crying these days!

Also, when I leave a room he starts to cry. If he's with another adult I don't come rushing back in, and within a minute he's playing happily! I have to be able to leave him because he has to go to nursery 3 days a week, so I'm not encouraging it.

This may sound harsh, but he's an extremely loved little boy who loves his mummy and daddy and smiles whenever he sees them. We're always kissiing and cuddling him.

Just because someone lets their baby cry, does not make them cruel or bad parents. What works for one person will not work for everyone, and I don't think people should be judged.

I do feel a general sentiment that leaving your baby to cry for any amount of time is unthinkable on this forum. Makes it a bit judgemental to be honest.

K.xx

 

[DaisyRose]

Hiya,

Ruby has been screaming the place down this morning.

I really don't like leaving her to cry for long. I remember nearly 6 years ago, when I had my first daughter a mw told me about a theory that if you respond quickly to a very young baby who is crying and make them feel safe and secure, they will grow up to be more secure and confident people.

It is really difficult though and I am really struggling as I have two older children to sort out. I've got a baby sling for Ruby which she loves but it does hurt my back after a while and there are things I can't do with it on (I'd recommend it though - it has made my life much easier).

I guess it must be really weird for babies after being all snug inside our tummies with constant noise and movement, to suddenly be put into a quiet, still, flat cot!!! From my experience I'd only suggest making the transition slow (ie, leaving LO for short periods at first and gradually lengthening them - it does get easier (I keep reminding myself of that, ha ha).