chloe's day

[tracey 2]

as some of you may know that chloe's first birthday is coming up and im at a lost as to what to do and finding it all so so hard at the moment even thinking about it,

my angel is turning one and i want to be able to celebrate her life in a way and a few tears its really starting to hit me quite badly how much i miss her, this time last year all was going well and had a lovely little bump and now i feel a huge failure as a mummy and i ned to be able to do something for her birthday but im not sure what

why is life so so damn unfair im sorry for going on but been a really tough day and im tired and emotional this evening trying to hold it all together for her but i know i dont have to i need to for my own sake her birthday is getting so close everyday and i will never ever forget holding her in my arms never imagined il be able to ever let go of her a year ago and now look how time has gone its been a year and still so hard and painful, i just need to be held tonight and told all will be ok but there is no one here and i just cant explain how im feeling right now

im just missing her so so much i really am some days like today i really dont want to go on with life no more but then i have this one to think about now and just have to get through these next couple weeks,

im sorry for going on i know a lot of you are having a tough time at the moment and i feel so bad for going on here but thank you for listening

 

[LisaJ1986]

I don't really know what to say, or even pretend to know how you feel, but have some of these
I know they won't make any difference but i'm here for you any time. I wish we lived closer or i'd be round! You have my number if you need me.

 

[tracey 2]

thanks lisa, that means a lot hun thank you

 

[Petra]

aww sweetie, I can't imagine how hard it must be for you but just wanted to give you these

 

[A&J]

I just really wanted to give you some

 

[Tina & Gabs]

Awwwwww Tracey hun; I want to give you these If you want to meet up just give me a shout. Thinking of you

 

[kelsey]

Sweetie, this one is the hardest. I know how you're feeling and no words can describe how you're feeling right now. You need to take each day as it comes and slowly. I too was pregnant on my angel Kians first birthday. You need to do anything you feel like doing - whether its hiding away for the day, lighting a candle, anything. You have to express it in your way. No matter what, she knows what a loving, beautiful mummy you are and will always be.

I'm here for you hun xxxxx

 

[tracey 2]

thanks for all hugs and everything

tina- be great to meet up one day if you want just to get out for a bit id like that hun whenever

kelsey- thank you hun i know what you mean i just have to see how im feeling that day we will go to seaside and then just take from there what we are going to do

 

[maria1976]

Oh honey If you fancy coming down to this seaside, im always here.

 

[mummykay]

sendin u loads of hugs hun

 

[sarah113]

 

[Slinky Sarah]

i know we spoke on the phone and a little in the chat room. I just havent got the words hun You know im thinking of you and am here anytime day or night as you have been for me.

Ill look after you on the 27th when i ocme meet you

Till then lots and lots of virtual hugs

 

[kazlin]

I'm always around Tracey. You can always pop round to me (I don't live too far by car) for a cuppa and a chat

 

[Mik]

Tracey I really feel for you hun I cannot imagine the pain you are going through

One thing you may be able to do if you have a garden or a family member has a garden is buy a Chloe rose bush. It will give you somewhere to go when you want or need to think of her. I know I am new and don't know you and hope I haven't offended you at all

Link for the Chloe Rose;

http://www.rosesuk.com/rose_locator/ros ... _chloe.php

 

[*sara*]

I dont know what to say but i wanted to give you some of these xx

 

[xjdx]

Really sorry hun, make it chloes day release some pink balloons and write a message from your heart on one for her to catch

 

[~*Leanne*~]

sending you loads of hugs hunny

 

[Tracey S]

Tracey,

I have only just seen this. I know how much you are dreading the day, but I found when it was Heidi's first birthday/anniversary in July the build up to the actual day was much worse than the day itself. My Hubby wasnt around for most of the day because he was working nights and spent most of the day in bed. For us we tried to keep the day 'normal' it fell on a Sunday so I went shopping with my Mum and bought a couple of things for new baby. I know it was Heidi's day but I honestly feel that she has sent this new baby to us and wherever she is she is safe and happy and watching over her special little brother. We also asked everyone who would have bought her a present to make a donation to SANDS, and the pleasure I felt handing over the money was brilliant (we ended up with £100)

The birthday is the 'last of the firsts' ie due day, christmas etc, and things WILL get easier for you once all these 'first' milestones are over.

Be gentle with yourself and you know where I am if you need me.

Tracey xx

 

[Bexie]

I'm really sorry to hear of your loss and to hear of the pain your feeling.

I haven't lost a child, but I have lost people I love dearly (my dad) and for me each day has got easier, I've never stopped missing him, but have learnt to cope with missing him.

 

[trixipaws]

ur such an amazing woman tracey i dont know how u stay so strong

edit we'll all be here for u on 16th, i'll be at work but will try to sneak online and u got my number if u need to talk