Breezees other thread (split post)

[breezee1984]

i used to believe this as well sharne....positivity and such didn't help my pregnancy at all. but each individual is different and dont let my depression bring you down. your lucky you still have a baby growing inside of you and im so jealous of you

 

[breezee1984]

i used to believe this as well sharne....positivity and such didn't help my pregnancy at all. but each individual is different and dont let my depression bring you down. your lucky you still have a baby growing inside of you and im so jealous of you

 

[breezee1984]

i used to believe this as well sharne....positivity and such didn't help my pregnancy at all. but each individual is different and dont let my depression bring you down. your lucky you still have a baby growing inside of you and im so jealous of you

 

[Steelgoddess]

i used to believe this as well sharne....positivity and such didn't help my pregnancy at all. but each individual is different and dont let my depression bring you down. your lucky you still have a baby growing inside of you and im so jealous of you

HoN i can COMPLETLY understand how you are feeling as someone who has suffered with depression a M/C is a nasty thing to happen especially if it happens again...

You need time out to consider your feelings , you musn't be angry at the world EVERYTHING in life happens for a reason...

xx

 

[breezee1984]

I'm starting to wonder if thats true that everything happens for a reason...im not sure if i believe that. maybe everything that happens just happens. we did make this world what it is and god gave us free will...so maybe its not that it happened for a reason, more like maybe it happened because it just happened.

 

[katyk]

breezeee remember how you felt when you miscarried the first time, but you got on to be preg again. when you want it and are ready, one day it will happen again

I don't know if everything happens for a reason (such as people getting serious illnesses through no fault of their own etc) but I do think we can learn from most experiences and turn most negatives into a positive in some way. It all makes us more compassionate to others as we've been through things...or something cheesy like that

 

[breezee1984]

i dont see howi can get a positive out of my children dying

 

[Gem & Leland]

i had a postive out of a loss , made me and my then only boyfriend realise we could get through anything and that i wanted that man as my husband , that he was my rock and some day in the future we would have a child , it took us 2 YEARS !!!!!!!! to then concieve again , and again through this 2 years of asking , why couldnt i get pregnant again when first time was an accident made us even stronger still !

aand i can tell u know , when u do eventually concieve , you will need the strongest relationship ever known to man !

 

[katyk]

It can take many years to find the answers. For instance I was a survivor of rape and other annoying things that went wrong, all of them since I was about 27

But before then I wouldn't have been on the same wavelength as other people, I'd led quite a sheltered life etc. And for this and other reasons I feel its made me realize the strength and worth I have as a person.

Also since I had a m/c this time it has improved my relationship with my OH and also helped me move on from the things that happened in the past.

These won't perhaps be the same changes you see Brezeee, yours will be different, but they will come.

But it's only a week or so after your loss so it's understandable that you don't know what's going to happen next and how this will effect you as a person in future (apart from being a horrible thing to happen.)

There's a need to grieve in this world but then at some point you have to be philosophical about things and come to terms with them. But both things are needed.

 

[breezee1984]

nothing good ever came of my first loss, how could anything good come from this one?

 

[Princess_Puddles]

Breezee, Im sorry for your loss hun but you really need to look to the future, stop being so defeatist about everything. The girls on here are eally trying to help you and from what I have seen everything they suggest you have had something negative to say. I know you're hurting right now but it's not always going to be this raw

 

[Steelgoddess]

You are feeling really negative right now so you're bound to feel this way...

i understand and have faith you will get through it

x

 

[breezee1984]

well i thought i was going to get through it until my husband said he refuses to try for another child for at least 4 months...i can't wait that long, this depression will kill me if i do

 

[Princess_Puddles]

well i thought i was going to get through it until my husband said he refuses to try for another child for at least 4 months...i can't wait that long, this depression will kill me if i do

Im sorry breezee but you cannot have a baby to cover up depression! you need to get some medical help for it

 

[happy-chick]

well i thought i was going to get through it until my husband said he refuses to try for another child for at least 4 months...i can't wait that long, this depression will kill me if i do

Im sorry breezee but you cannot have a baby to cover up depression! you need to get some medical help for it

I have to agree there, a baby wont make your depression go away hun. Though it would make you happy there would still be the underlying problems that need dealing with....

 

[Steelgoddess]

i agree hon, you really need to help yourself, you are not ready for a baby in this state...

xx

 

[breezee1984]

ive been more then ready for a child for 4 years

 

[Princess_Puddles]

ive been more then ready for a child for 4 years

You may have been physically ready for a baby but you don't sound mentally ready. You cannot have a baby to cover up depression, that isn't going to help. You need to greive for your losses and when the depression settles or you've got help for it then i'd say you were ready but to have a baby now for the reasons above would be selfish

 

[breezee1984]

apparantly you've never had a miscarriage?

 

[Princess_Puddles]

I have actually when I was 14 but its not something I shout about because I was so young and the baby wasn't wanted at the time anyway, but I don't see how that would affect anything I say because I'm not relating to how you feel