We've split up.

[x-kirsty-x]

We argued last night and I just cant do it anymore. We even slept in different rooms which has never happened before.

There was a note from him when I got up saying he loves me and stuff but even if we work things out we'll keep arguing and hurting each other.

We've texted a bit this morning and neither of us wants to split up but I cant keep putting Josh through this, he's such an intelligent little boy and he knows exactly what goes on.

And then of course theres the baby. How do people find the strength to split up when they're expecting a baby together.

Then theres the fear of the future - he's always gonna be in my life now because of the kids but he'll move on and find someone else and it'll tear me to pieces.

I love him and I know he loves me but our problem is we just keep trying to make it work and failing every time. I've realised that loving each other isnt enough.

As for the practical things, he has nowhere to go if he moves out and I wont see him sleeping on a settee somewhere, Id rather he stayed here but both of us do our own thing.

Sorry, I've gone on far too much

 

[Emmylou]

Awwwwww ((((((x-kirsty-x))))))

So sorry to hear this......maybe given a bit of time apart things might improve - you sound like you both love each other and want to make it work - but you have to both want to make it work for each other, not just because of the kids........sometimes, a break from each other can validate the good things in the relationship and give you the foresight to enter back into a relationship without the reoccuring problems you have had before.

As you say - you don't want Josh to go through this, and you are doing the right thing in putting his feelings first.........If it possible to spend time away from each other it will help you realise what you want & need in your heart of hearts.

Lots of love precious, and I hope you don't think I am interfeering (sp) I have been thorugh similiar (but without the kids) and I really needed to have a break from it all to get sorted in my head what I really wanted deep down.

 

[Strangeness]

Awwww hun!! I'm sorry you're going through such a rough time at the moment. I think all couples go through hard times and it can be awful and feel like there is no return. Maybe you could have a break from each other for a few days? If you still love each other then you'll probably find it really hard to be apart forever. I hope you can work things out hun

 

[mummykay]

im so sorry kirsty, i hope ur ok cos stress is the last thing u need

 

[Flossy82]

Sorry to hear this kirsty i know how you are feeling and i'l be here for you if needed -xx-

 

[Nic'n'Keeley]

hi i've pm'd you hun hope you don't mind x

 

[oldermum]

Sorry to hear this, have you considered counciling either together or apart?

It may help you to stay together if thats what you really want.

 

[x-kirsty-x]

Thanks for all your messages

I rang him earlier and we had a talk and he's coming home tonight. We always do this, argue and say we'll split up but then when the anger and stuff has gone we decide that we actually do want to try.

Its just that it always happens again, the same silly arguments over and over again.

So we're going to keep trying, not just because of the baby and Josh but because we really do want to be together

 

[nikki1306]

hope things work out for you hun,can't help with all the hormones flying around the place xx

 

[claire81]

Awww Kirsty, i'm so sorry to read this post its awful when your hurting each other and you just don't know what to do for the best. All i can say is from an outside point of view it actually sounds that reguardless of kids being involved you both sound in love, which is wonderful. Sit down tonight, switch the computer, the phone off and ignore the door and just be honest with each other. I wish you all the best

 

[jennywren]

HEy hope you sort things out hun.

You really need to get to the 'route' of the arguments, as its clearly not lack of love on either side of the relationship.

Are they arguments always boiling from the same thing for example or getting back to the same thing.

It may be weird or tough, but I would suggest relationship counciling, it can really help

 

[*saulino*]

Hi

Sorry you havent been getting along lately i know it must be tough i really hope you work through it
Katrina

 

[cassi]

aww hun im sorry

have you thought about maybe couples councelling to get everything out in the open and have someone talk to you both? you both obviously want it to work very much so...

 

[x-kirsty-x]

aww hun im sorry

have you thought about maybe couples councelling to get everything out in the open and have someone talk to you both? you both obviously want it to work very much so...

We're getting along fine now, I just have my days where I cant be bothered with the arguing and I think it would be easier to split up.

He plays football on Sunday nights so last night when he'd gone and Josh was asleep I was sitting on my own, ordered a movie off Box Office and was chilling out then I thought 'If I were single this it what it would be like every night'

Dont get me wrong, its nice enjoying time on my own but I couldnt go more than a day without him so I think for the meantime he's stuck with me

Its our 6 year 'anniversary' tomorrow too

 

[Minime]

You need to address the issues you keep argueing over and what you can both do to change it. What do you fight about and why and what can you both do about it? Also helps to have some quality time just you and him every day even just 30 minutes.
You both need to work at it, it wont work one sided. Often arguements stem from misunderstanding and lack of communication hence the quality time. You obviously have compatability so have a good foundation to work things through