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** April 2019 Testing **

Forums New posts
Alexis2017 said:
You surely recognise mine

I'm still here ttc no 1. Stuck in hell
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I’m sorry Alexis, give yourself a break, your miscarriage is still very recent and it takes time to process and grieve for these things. You don’t need to feel ok again straight away, look after yourself and take whatever time you need. My latest mc happened last August and, of the 3 I’ve had, mentally and emotionally it’s been my most difficult to deal with. I still have down days now, but that’s ok. Don’t rush yourself x
 
Alexis2017 said:
Yeah I don't think I will ever be a Mum
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:( I know this is taking a horrendous toll on you and I'm not saying not to feel your emotions and of course I know you must be devastated but you definitely have 2 more very good chances of becoming a mum before you even have to undertake another IVF treatment. I hate seeing you so down :(

Also I hope you don't mind me being here. If it causes you any pain just tell me as I know we used to talk a lot before xx
 
Hello ladies,

Big hello to the ladies I haven’t spoken to before and hey girl hey to those I have! @chattychar1990 fingers crossed your skin is a good sign! @Alexis2017 I’m so sorry, but I honestly believe you will be a mum. Big hugs my love. I had a chemical last month, it’s awful. Make sure you take time to rest.

Xx
 
LuckyLaura said:
:( I know this is taking a horrendous toll on you and I'm not saying not to feel your emotions and of course I know you must be devastated but you definitely have 2 more very good chances of becoming a mum before you even have to undertake another IVF treatment. I hate seeing you so down :(

Also I hope you don't mind me being here. If it causes you any pain just tell me as I know we used to talk a lot before xx
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Don't be silly, it's lovely to see you back . I'm just stuck in a ditch and I cant see a way out I've seen so many ppl come and go on here over past years they worry about not getting pregnant, then 6 months or later it happens and I never thought I'd be still here trying even after 1 round of ivf and most ppl I chatted too are on baby number 2. I guess it just reinforces what I Could have and I don't.
I just want to start living my life again. When I saw that positive test I had never felt so happy in all my life and now I am scared that I never will feel happiness again..

Ps your baby was born day before my birthday I bet she is gorgeous
 
Alexis2017 said:
Don't be silly, it's lovely to see you back . I'm just stuck in a ditch and I cant see a way out I've seen so many ppl come and go on here over past years they worry about not getting pregnant, then 6 months or later it happens and I never thought I'd be still here trying even after 1 round of ivf and most ppl I chatted too are on baby number 2. I guess it just reinforces what I Could have and I don't.
I just want to start living my life again. When I saw that positive test I had never felt so happy in all my life and now I am scared that I never will feel happiness again..

Ps your baby was born day before my birthday I bet she is gorgeous
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I guess that's what I mean... I dont want to make you feel that way. :( i don't know if you remember my circumstances with my husband but I know a few things about being stuck, about seeing everyone around you having what you want with all your heart and are missing out on, and I spent 2 years in hell waiting for my life to start in a weird limbo. If you ever need to chat to anyone i hope you'll consider me in the mix of the many lovely ladies on here xx

My life fully came to a standstill and I essentially lost over 2 years of my life which I actually grieved about for a while. I ended up not sleeping, not eating, barely functioning.. Couldn't get out of bed for weeks at one point I was so down but the one thing it taught me was that when it was over it just melted away like a flick of a switch and not only that but it was entirely worth it.

It can be so hard to see a way to cope and how to be happy or even function sometimes but there is so much hope still there for you with the 2 fets and even on future rounds of IVF. :( I really really wish that you could have that happiness again and for always xxx

Thank you :) she is an absolute pleasure but I'm biased I'm sure. She was due 5th August but came 2 days early .. Horrendous birth....i was traumatised for weeks aha xx
 
babylove2016 said:
Hello ladies,

Big hello to the ladies I haven’t spoken to before and hey girl hey to those I have! @chattychar1990 fingers crossed your skin is a good sign! @Alexis2017 I’m so sorry, but I honestly believe you will be a mum. Big hugs my love. I had a chemical last month, it’s awful. Make sure you take time to rest.

Xx
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Hi :) nice to meet you! Xx
 
Super cramps nothing yet but think AF is on her way. While I do hope for a BFP, if AF came it would also be good (not AS good lol) because my body would be getting back on track after the good changes I am making and that pesky cyst I had!
 
Alexis2017 said:
Yeah I don't think I will ever be a Mum
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Aw please take time to feel everything your feeling. It’s incredibly painful misscarrying. I still have bad days too. You need time and support to heal. You won’t believe this but you will be a mother. I’m so sorry your struggling xx
 
Lollypop79 said:
Aw please take time to feel everything your feeling. It’s incredibly painful misscarrying. I still have bad days too. You need time and support to heal. You won’t believe this but you will be a mother. I’m so sorry your struggling xx
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I just can't see it happening. If ivf doesn't work we won't get their naturally as we have tried for like 30 cycles and nothing despite all tests being normal. It's just a mystery. I'm just gutted we came so close and to habe it taken away.

I don't even feel like I can have hope anymore it's too painful.

@LuckyLaura I just worry I put hope in to my next transfer and it doesnt work. I think it makes it harder that I have no idea when so will get booked back in as its so busy. The clinic I go to is bursting at the seem. I thought if be pregnant by now over 2 years on. I get what your saying. I've not lived my life for the past 2.5 years. Every single day has been hell for me and I don't know how much longer I can live like this.. A baby is all I want ,and nothing but a baby will take this pain away. No amount of holidays, fancy things , clothes, nights out nothing it's all just a momentary distraction. We are trying naturally in between ivf but still nothing happens. I fele like a fake women , I have all the signs that I am but I can't make a baby
 
Anyway trying to move on so did ovulation tests yest and today for 1st time in months .. I think I will ovulate over the wknd ?

IMG_20190405_091242.jpg
 
Alexis2017 said:
Anyway trying to move on so did ovulation tests yest and today for 1st time in months .. I think I will ovulate over the wknd ?

View attachment 84669
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Hi Alexis yes i agree pos over weekend Ovulation :)
Makes me so sad to read your posts they reflect how i feel all too often :(
You are doing best thing you can, your getting ivf. I know you lost 1 but you read so often people saying it took 2 rounds before a sticky bean. please see it as atleast your doing something & your ttc journey is on the move / coming to the end.
You probably have already (sorry!) But if you do have great scores all round for your fertility testing perhaps add pre seed. You can inject it up & i found it great this cycle.
 
Alexis2017 said:
I just can't see it happening. If ivf doesn't work we won't get their naturally as we have tried for like 30 cycles and nothing despite all tests being normal. It's just a mystery. I'm just gutted we came so close and to habe it taken away.

I don't even feel like I can have hope anymore it's too painful.

@LuckyLaura I just worry I put hope in to my next transfer and it doesnt work. I think it makes it harder that I have no idea when so will get booked back in as its so busy. The clinic I go to is bursting at the seem. I thought if be pregnant by now over 2 years on. I get what your saying. I've not lived my life for the past 2.5 years. Every single day has been hell for me and I don't know how much longer I can live like this.. A baby is all I want ,and nothing but a baby will take this pain away. No amount of holidays, fancy things , clothes, nights out nothing it's all just a momentary distraction. We are trying naturally in between ivf but still nothing happens. I fele like a fake women , I have all the signs that I am but I can't make a baby
Click to expand...

That is true, if you had an exact date you can countdown but limbo and feeling out of control is the worst :( I really hope you catch a break and it's not too long with your clinic.

I fully understand what you mean. It's like even though they're distractions there's still a cloud of you. And it's all so very temporary before all the feelings and thoughts come flooding back. It nearly destroyed me as a person going through the courts and having my life on hold for 2 years not knowing when I'd even see my husband again. And we feel robbed of that time we won't get back. We also felt robbed of a baby cuz had that not happened we felt we would have started trying sooner, we wouldn't be financially screwed and would have our own house.. Instead over 2 years on we are still paying massive debts for solicitors and court fees. Loans I had to take out. Overdrafts. Credit cards. Horrendous :(

It can seem impossible but it will end one way or another :( then we deal with the options we have available and I know the ladies on here will be with you every step of the way xx
 
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