******** April 2018 Testing Thread ********

[WolfMamma]

So, I make this post with some trepidation but I guess it's good to document it somewhere.

I am currently 12dpo-ish and decided to test, even though I said I wouldn't. Low and behold, 2 lovely pink lines.

Is it terrible that I can't find it in me to get exited at all?

Out of 2 months that we have actually TTC (1 month doesn't count as we had no sex due to flu), I have had 2 BFPs and both have ended as chemicals....

I have been as naughty as is possible this month, I've had booze, I've not taken my pre-natal vitamins, I have done many many things that should not be done when one is trying for a baby. I had my second chemical last month and threw a total tantrum doing everything I could to not get a BFP.

Am I a terrible person for not being able to be exited at this? 0_o

 

[alwayscoffee]

So, I make this post with some trepidation but I guess it's good to document it somewhere.

I am currently 12dpo-ish and decided to test, even though I said I wouldn't. Low and behold, 2 lovely pink lines.

Is it terrible that I can't find it in me to get exited at all?

Out of 2 months that we have actually TTC (1 month doesn't count as we had no sex due to flu), I have had 2 BFPs and both have ended as chemicals....

I have been as naughty as is possible this month, I've had booze, I've not taken my pre-natal vitamins, I have done many many things that should not be done when one is trying for a baby. I had my second chemical last month and threw a total tantrum doing everything I could to not get a BFP.

Am I a terrible person for not being able to be exited at this? 0_o

AWW. Congrats! How I wish I was you!!!

I think it's normal to feel the way you feel considering what happened. Just try to stay positive and think the best!!

 

[WolfMamma]

So, I make this post with some trepidation but I guess it's good to document it somewhere.

I am currently 12dpo-ish and decided to test, even though I said I wouldn't. Low and behold, 2 lovely pink lines.

Is it terrible that I can't find it in me to get exited at all?

Out of 2 months that we have actually TTC (1 month doesn't count as we had no sex due to flu), I have had 2 BFPs and both have ended as chemicals....

I have been as naughty as is possible this month, I've had booze, I've not taken my pre-natal vitamins, I have done many many things that should not be done when one is trying for a baby. I had my second chemical last month and threw a total tantrum doing everything I could to not get a BFP.

Am I a terrible person for not being able to be exited at this? 0_o

AWW. Congrats! How I wish I was you!!!

I think it's normal to feel the way you feel considering what happened. Just try to stay positive and think the best!!

Sounds terrible but I wish I wasn't me at the moment. I'm terrified I really want to be happy but I just feel like I have a big black hole of dread in my stomach....

I don't think it helps that I was totally convinced that I was out because the only symptom I have is painful nipples. That's it! I was presuming that was just AF symptoms. I just tested because it was in the cupboard and I wanted to confirm my suspicions. I was totally unprepared for a BFP....

I must be a horrible person.

 

[Kholl]

WolfMamma, congratulations! Your dread is understandable, though with lines like those I think it is unfounded. Concluding you must be a "horrible" person is also an extreme response to your natural panic. A more realistic conclusion might be "back-to-back losses have made me deeply wary" or "I am expecting the same outcome again, which is putting me in a state of panic and despair." And feeling this way is totally normal and acceptable! It would be weird if you weren't worried. But I think this one is gonna stick - those lines are phenomenal. I am sending you the best wishes, happy holiday baby to you!

 

[WolfMamma]

WolfMamma, congratulations! Your dread is understandable, though with lines like those I think it is unfounded. Concluding you must be a "horrible" person is also an extreme response to your natural panic. A more realistic conclusion might be "back-to-back losses have made me deeply wary" or "I am expecting the same outcome again, which is putting me in a state of panic and despair." And feeling this way is totally normal and acceptable! It would be weird if you weren't worried. But I think this one is gonna stick - those lines are phenomenal. I am sending you the best wishes, happy holiday baby to you!

Thank you Kholl. Your response has made me cry but I am very grateful for it.

I don't want people to think this is unwelcome as it's very much not!

I have always tried to run away from things when they scare me. If they are more emotional in nature I tend to shut myself off and treat myself as something being all my fault and I always presume the worst. I've always been this way and since I was a child. I used it as a defence mechanism to protect myself from hurt. If I already think the worst will happen, it wont take me by surprise and I'll be prepared, right?

If this bean can hold on for a week or so, then I will start to celebrate a bit

 

[Elven]

So, I make this post with some trepidation but I guess it's good to document it somewhere.

I am currently 12dpo-ish and decided to test, even though I said I wouldn't. Low and behold, 2 lovely pink lines.

Is it terrible that I can't find it in me to get exited at all?

Out of 2 months that we have actually TTC (1 month doesn't count as we had no sex due to flu), I have had 2 BFPs and both have ended as chemicals....

I have been as naughty as is possible this month, I've had booze, I've not taken my pre-natal vitamins, I have done many many things that should not be done when one is trying for a baby. I had my second chemical last month and threw a total tantrum doing everything I could to not get a BFP.

Am I a terrible person for not being able to be exited at this? 0_o

Congratulations, that's one hell of a line for 12 dpo!

You're definitely not a terrible person; considering what you have been through it's completely understandable you feel extra cautious and don't want to get too excited or get your hopes up just yet. When things keep going wrong over and over again, it's hard not to want to protect yourself and leave the excitement until you actually feel like this might be it. I have everything crossed for you, I really hope this is it for you. xx

 

[WolfMamma]

So, I make this post with some trepidation but I guess it's good to document it somewhere.

I am currently 12dpo-ish and decided to test, even though I said I wouldn't. Low and behold, 2 lovely pink lines.

Is it terrible that I can't find it in me to get exited at all?

Out of 2 months that we have actually TTC (1 month doesn't count as we had no sex due to flu), I have had 2 BFPs and both have ended as chemicals....

I have been as naughty as is possible this month, I've had booze, I've not taken my pre-natal vitamins, I have done many many things that should not be done when one is trying for a baby. I had my second chemical last month and threw a total tantrum doing everything I could to not get a BFP.

Am I a terrible person for not being able to be exited at this? 0_o

Congratulations, that's one hell of a line for 12 dpo!

You're definitely not a terrible person; considering what you have been through it's completely understandable you feel extra cautious and don't want to get too excited or get your hopes up just yet. When things keep going wrong over and over again, it's hard not to want to protect yourself and leave the excitement until you actually feel like this might be it. I have everything crossed for you, I really hope this is it for you. xx

Thank you Elven.

The lines are a lot stronger than I have had previously. That makes me wonder if I ovulated early.

I started bleeding on 5th March, this was apparently a cp but the bleeding was as light as a normal AF would have been which was very different from the time before that which was astonishingly heavy. I just assumed that I wasn't as far along so it wasn't as bad....

I guess i won't know until I make it to a scan....

 

[Flossy86]

Wolfmamma congratulations. It’s ok to hold off being excited for a while after everything, also needs to sink in, you wasn’t expecting this outcome after all. No doubtIng those lines though!! Congrats again xx

 

[SugaryIris]

Wolfmama! Those lines are incredible I’m so so happy for you. I know you can’t feel the happiness yet, and I understand why but I just hope you have a healthy and happy 9 months from now on xx

 

[Rainingflowers]

Congratulations!! That line does seem very strong!! I have heard a few stories similar to yours and it actually turns out that the CP or MC was of a twin. So you were carrying twins and 1 died and 1 survived. That would explain why the line is so strong!! Only a scan would be able to tell that though as the baby would be a lot more developed than the dates you told them! You never know!! Let us know how it all goes!

 

[WolfMamma]

Congratulations!! That line does seem very strong!! I have heard a few stories similar to yours and it actually turns out that the CP or MC was of a twin. So you were carrying twins and 1 died and 1 survived. That would explain why the line is so strong!! Only a scan would be able to tell that though as the baby would be a lot more developed than the dates you told them! You never know!! Let us know how it all goes!

I wish it could have been that way but when i took my last FRER last time, it was completely clean, no hint of a line, so everything was definitely gone.

I am sure that i know when I ovulated and implanted as I had cramps inside my left hipbone both times which is a recognisable sign for me.

Just a bit confusing! But as you say, I'll know if and when I make it to a scan.... I am just taking a bit at a time at the moment.

Currently my goal is to get to Friday.

I have promised my husband no more tests as it is stressful and sent him nutty last month. Cost a fortune too. This time I will maybe take a digi at the weekend if everything still seems ok but nothing else other than that.

 

[Rach beattie]

Congratulations wolfmama I hope this is ur take home baby. What a fab start to April x

 

[WolfMamma]

Congratulations wolfmama I hope this is ur take home baby. What a fab start to April x

'Take home baby'.... That made me snort XD

 

[Rach beattie]

Sorry if u found that insensitive. Totally meant it in a nice way lol xx

 

[WolfMamma]

Sorry if u found that insensitive. Totally meant it in a nice way lol xx

No I loved it! Was the first laugh I think I've managed since I took that test! Has made me feel better, so thank you!

 

[Rach beattie]

Sorry if u found that insensitive. Totally meant it in a nice way lol xx

No I loved it! Was the first laugh I think I've managed since I took that test! Has made me feel better, so thank you!

That's good lol. I do no how scared u must be I had a mmc at 12 week scan and altho I can't wait for another bfp I no i will now dread every scan. Take each day as it comes, altho with the lines I would be shocked if this bean doesn't stick around xx

 

[WolfMamma]

Sorry if u found that insensitive. Totally meant it in a nice way lol xx

No I loved it! Was the first laugh I think I've managed since I took that test! Has made me feel better, so thank you!

That's good lol. I do no how scared u must be I had a mmc at 12 week scan and altho I can't wait for another bfp I no i will now dread every scan. Take each day as it comes, altho with the lines I would be shocked if this bean doesn't stick around xx

Yes those lines took me by surprise! I keep looking at the test to check that they haven't gone away!

 

[Rach beattie]

Sorry if u found that insensitive. Totally meant it in a nice way lol xx

No I loved it! Was the first laugh I think I've managed since I took that test! Has made me feel better, so thank you!

That's good lol. I do no how scared u must be I had a mmc at 12 week scan and altho I can't wait for another bfp I no i will now dread every scan. Take each day as it comes, altho with the lines I would be shocked if this bean doesn't stick around xx

Yes those lines took me by surprise! I keep looking at the test to check that they haven't gone away!

They r amazing lines and u have got this, u can do it. It will take time to believe it but it looks like u r getting an early Xmas present this year x

 

[WolfMamma]

Sorry if u found that insensitive. Totally meant it in a nice way lol xx

No I loved it! Was the first laugh I think I've managed since I took that test! Has made me feel better, so thank you!

That's good lol. I do no how scared u must be I had a mmc at 12 week scan and altho I can't wait for another bfp I no i will now dread every scan. Take each day as it comes, altho with the lines I would be shocked if this bean doesn't stick around xx

Yes those lines took me by surprise! I keep looking at the test to check that they haven't gone away!

They r amazing lines and u have got this, u can do it. It will take time to believe it but it looks like u r getting an early Xmas present this year x

You're awesome, thank you

 

[Rach beattie]

Sorry if u found that insensitive. Totally meant it in a nice way lol xx

No I loved it! Was the first laugh I think I've managed since I took that test! Has made me feel better, so thank you!

That's good lol. I do no how scared u must be I had a mmc at 12 week scan and altho I can't wait for another bfp I no i will now dread every scan. Take each day as it comes, altho with the lines I would be shocked if this bean doesn't stick around xx

Yes those lines took me by surprise! I keep looking at the test to check that they haven't gone away!

They r amazing lines and u have got this, u can do it. It will take time to believe it but it looks like u r getting an early Xmas present this year x

You're awesome, thank you

Don't be silly that's y we r here! Don't be a stranger x