After the birth

[pinkyprincess]

I just read a thread in Preg Chat that made me think!

What are your post birth plans? Will you be accepting visitors, will people visit you at the hospital?

My OH made a comment about his family waiting at the hospital while I was in labour!!! Which I was mortified at the thought of! I've said no but that started an argument so not sure how the land lays with that :S

Will you be insisting on baby/mummy bonding time for a few weeks?

 

[JoJo79]

Hey hun with my eldest i had the world n his wife waiting while i gave birth!! literally bout 8 people and i ended up being in labour for 29hrs, afterwards (bear in mind i had her at 00.45am!) i had a room full of people all wanting to hold her n fuss etc and i felt so left out it was unreal

Bit like i was on the outside looking in,

When i had my youngest it was just me and hubby from me being admitted at 10pm the night before til 3pm the day after, i found that personally a lot beter for me, calmer, more of a speacial time for me hubby n baby so was a lot more relaxed when visiotrs did come to the hospital.

Hope that helps xxx

 

[knopk@]

I am not inviting my in laws until after 2 weeks of the paternity leave my husband is taking. They live couple of hours drive away so can't just pop in. I guess if they were closer, I might let them visit sooner but I don't want peold hanging around. We will see after the birth but your OH has to listen to your wishes after the birth because you will bf recovering and getting used to the baby and you don't need extra stress.
And he obviously has to male you tea and helps around the house as well. You need to manage his expectations now before it's too late

 

[Rachaellius]

For the first day or two I just want me, my OH and my mom. Although I havn't discussed this with my OH yet so i'm hoping he won't be expecting loads of his family there, I don't mind his mom as it's only fair if my mom will be there but I've a feeling his mom would bring most of the family along which I do not want! xx

 

[nik106]

I have said that i do not want visitors waiting for us at the hospital as it could take hours and i would feel stressed and pressurised if i knew they were all there. Plus, i'd really like some time for it to be just the 3 of us when our LO arrives.

As for afterwards, family and friends will be ok to visit but i'd appreciate it if they checked first, likewise if i'm at home. If people ring just before they leave, then i can decide then if we're upto it. I don't want people just turning up as they might disturb us if we're sleeping. I also don't want people on mass - something which my OH's family don't seem to appreciate. We thought we'd be home with her by now because our initial induction date was Monday. Its OH's birthday today, so when discussing his mum coming to see him, i suggested that it would be better if he came round to them, and we'll come if we're upto it but she didn't want to do that, instead she was insistent that its easier for everyone to come here instead. As is, we're going in for induction tonight at 6pm, but his whole family are coming round first to say happy birthday before we leave

 

[Lilelephant]

No one at the hospital and just family for first week while we get settled

 

[star fish]

This is an issue already for us. My husband calls it The Red Hand, he wants to stop everyone coming for at least a few days and giving us some space. It sounds wonderful but when i told my mum she got really upset and said she thought she would be at the hospital. Its turned into a nightmare where I cant bring it up without her crying, so god knows how he will stop them all from coming round. She has even invited my grandmother to stay with her during my due date so she will be there to visit as well. AHHHHHHH!

 

[Lulabell]

I've told hubby I want my mum there at the hosp waiting but not keen on any one else. But I cant ask him to let me have my mum there but none of his family, can i? I want bonding time especially as I'll be hoping to breast feed. I don't want to do it in front of them but I don't want to leave the room just to feed my baby in my own home.xx

 

[jomc]

My parents live in ireland and if i dont go overdue they will be on the next flight over! Lol.
OH mum has severe dementia so wont be at the hospital. OH will prob bring her to see us a day or so after we are home. The only other family he has in the uk is an aunt in scotland. As my parents are with us for xmas we are hoping she cones for xmas to spend it with my MIL as i havent had xmas day with my parents for two yrs. So his aunt will see the baby whenever she arrives from scotland.
I dont have any of my own friends over here so only other people to visit will be OH friends. They are quite on the ball as all have kids so they will only come once we say its ok, prob a week or so later.
But as its christmas time, u never know how busy people will be!

 

[pinkyprincess]

I was thinking about saying to him that i'll have visitors at the hospital IF they ring first and under the agreement that if I need to feed him, OUT! I will bf for the 1st 3 days at least (gonna see how it goes) If were in and out, I might say that we can pop to his mums on the way home from hosp briefly BUT I would like the 1st week after that just the 3 of us!

 

[Susanne]

I would love to have some time alone with my baby, husband and kids after the birth, but doubt very much that it will happen - I've never managed to persuade my husband to keep my annoying mother-in-law from visiting on the 1st day so far, so probably won't even bother trying this time round, just causes arguments anyway. Plus, his mother will be staying with us over Christmas for a few days strangle, so if the baby comes a bit early she'll be there when we come home, which should be a few hours after the birth if all goes according to plan. And once she has gone my parents are going to visit from abroad, so it might be them who'll be there when we bring the baby home - which I definitely prefer, but it's still not the same as having some proper family time with the new baby, which is what I would really like. Unfortunately, I cannot bring myself to ask my parents to stay away, and know it is pointless with my mother-in-law, so I will just have to make the best of the situation somehow.

 

[pinkyprincess]

I don't want OH's family to get involved too quickly, but he's so close with them that he takes it that I don't like his family when I suggest anything but what he expects!

He's never really been around babies and children whereas I have, but he can't get that when I try an explain things to him, im not being awkward, I'm being truthfull!

He's going to have one hell of a shock!

 

[Nic36]

There aren't many times when having such a small family is a bonus, but this could well be one of them! I have no immediate family. The Mother in law and Brother in law live a long way away and are not well enough to travel, so will wait until we are ready to take LO to them. So... lots of bonding time for me, hubby and LO.

 

[MrsHakaxjdx]

the birth will be just me and my husband, then both sets of parents can come round when where out of hospital cos with it being our third you dont stay in long. my best friend will probably bob in, but i will be out and about with her pretty quickly because i had one child at school and one at nursery x x

 

[hesty14]

I only want hubby at the hospital while I'm in labour and for a few hours after the birth while everything is sorted out. If we can get away with it we don't plan to tell anyone I have gone in to labour. I love my Mum so much but she can be a nightmare with fussing and if she knows things are happening then she will phone the labour ward every 5 mins which I just don't want.

I would just like close family and friends to visit in hospital and as this is the first grandchild for both sides I am expecting my parents to come as soon as they can and hubbys Dad, sister and aunt (who was heavily involved with him when his mum died) to be the same. I am a only child so my best friends are the closest to sisters that I have and I don't mind them visiting. All but one have kids so know what it is about and the one that doesn't would wait to be invited!

All other family can wait until we are home and most of them are sensible enough to phone first. The one that I really want to come when we are ready is hubbys gran as she is hard work and would be a struggle if we are tired!

 

[redbear]

I plan on having mum and Husband at the hospital with me and then let whoever visit - his mum probably won't because she won't want to pay bus fair or taxi fair (not kidding) but i refuse to travel to her if she can't be arsed! xx

 

[CustardCream]

My fellas parents are 4 hours away and mine 2 plus my Mum is having a hystorectamy middle of October, so depending on when I give birth my parents wont be able to be around until maybe the day after as my Mums gonna come stay for a week to help me if shes well enough and I'm not too early. My sister is gonna be with me at the birth aswell as my fella but I'd be happy to have everyone waiting as my Dad is my best friend, I'm really close to my Mum too so Id be happy if they can make it for them to be waiting in the waiting room. My sister lives 10 mins from hospital so they could even wait there and have sleep or at my house. Same with my fellas parents I'm really close so no help but I'd be happy for everyone to wait around xx

 

[positivity :)]

i'm actually looking forward to my visitors and showing off my little man.

at the hospital i'm having OH and my mum in the room. i spoke to OH's mum the other day and said we will call her when i go into labour and if she wants she can come to the hospital depending on the time etc. my dad said he wants to come up when i go into labour too but i've told him not to come until lo is here.

my friends will def pop up the next day. i'm sure when it comes around i'll be wanting peace and quiet but i know how excited i feel when my friends and family have their babies..i want to meet them so desperately ! xxx

 

[NinjaKitty]

My mum hinted at wanting to be at the hospital with me. She is a major stress giver so no way! I don't want anyone except me and DH at the hospital. I only want visitors at the hospital if I have to stay in for whatever reason. I don't mind my Mum and my sister being around when I get back from the hospital because they'll be ok if I tell them to bugger off. Other than that we'll control the flow of visitors over the first week or two and then everyone will lose interest anyway.

 

[pinkyprincess]

i'm actually looking forward to my visitors and showing off my little man.

at the hospital i'm having OH and my mum in the room. i spoke to OH's mum the other day and said we will call her when i go into labour and if she wants she can come to the hospital depending on the time etc. my dad said he wants to come up when i go into labour too but i've told him not to come until lo is here.

my friends will def pop up the next day. i'm sure when it comes around i'll be wanting peace and quiet but i know how excited i feel when my friends and family have their babies..i want to meet them so desperately ! xxx

I'm so torn as I feel a bit like that, but I'm so worried about struggling with the newborn (and this is probs going to sound terrible) but how I look! I don't want people to think I'm failing, I'd like to look happy and confident especially around my family so I'd relish the extra time but I can see what you mean about showing little man off, I show everyone my scan pictures lol.