Advice or just a chat...

Aimee you shouldn't let them emotionally black mail you to do anything you don't want to. How are your family being? Xxxx
 
I'm sorry but that's outrageous.. I'd go nuts if my partner went rooting through my phone and I wouldn't take anything like that from his Mum. It sounds as though he's been a bit of a pampered prince and I cannot believe she isn't encouraging him to face up to his responsibilities. Yes he is young but he is not a child. I presume he's intelligent enough to know that having sexual intercourse can lead to pregnancy. It's pathetic and you shouldn't be dealing with it. Threatening to leave the country, for goodness sake.. Stop pandering to him, you've got to stick up for yourself. Of course you would cope on your own - it might not be the fairy tale you'd imagined but you would. I really hope you do what is best for you and only bring people who are going to support you into your future x
 
He's only 21...spoke to his mum who said if I have the baby he's going home and then leaving the country, that they'd support that and disown me completely as this 'isn't what they want' like I even have a choice. My appointment is tomorrow. I'm so crushed I literally just feel numb. Words can't tell you how much I want this baby but I know I won't cope on my own... Head is spinning :(

Do you really want to be part of a family that are that manipulative though? And 'they' shouldn't make the decision it's your body. I think you would cope on your own as you already have 2 children so this isn't new to you ... Remember it's yours and only your choice ... Don't do anything that you will regret x
 
You are not weak ... You are being bullied sweetie,

I know it's your choice but if I was in your shoes I would brush my shoulders off, stand up straight and tell your boyfriend to feel free to leave the country ... Then the baby is also solely your choice.

If he and his family are like this now what will they be like in a couple of years? Especially when they can be so heartless to their unborn grandchild.

I know you love him which makes it hard, and to top that off you are incredibly emotional and hormonal ... With a hell of a lot on your mind ... Maybe at least start with not letting him come to your next scan ... If he isn't interested then he shouldn't be there, and you will be able to get a better perspective on what is going on without the pressure of his presence and opinion

Big virtual hugs your way x
 
My love for him is irrelevant, my baby would always come first but if he left the country and refused to be any part of it..I don't want that for the baby...I know I wouldn't cope on my own but now I can barely look at him :(
 
It sounds like he wouldn't want anything to do with baby at all of he left the country or not ... And any baby or child doesn't deserve that but would also be better off without it. It would be easier to deal with if baby never knew dad rather than did and then the dad buggers off.

Also he doesn't deserve you to look at him with what he is putting you through, it is completely unfair.

I believe you can cope with a baby as you managed to get yourself out of your previous relationship with a different idiot :)

But as I said maybe show him the door and then whatever YOU decide without him in your life, is completely YOUR choice and is best for YOU. you will never make the right choices with the pressures and manipulation of him and his family, and they should know that. It's his own fault if he ends up heartbroken or whatever as he is the one being childish, and like a few other girls have said, he should never of been searching through your phone or computer without your permission.

You are better than that so don't let idiotic men drag you down :) X

P.s. Sorry if sounds harsh, it just grates on me when people act like this towards others as there is no need x
 
I absolutely agree with MrsB here. You're an incredibly strong woman, that is plain to see. You do not, under any circumstances, deserve this disgraceful and childish behaviour coming from him and his family. Pick yourself up and dust yourself off chicken, show them you're made of sterner stuff than they're giving you credit for!

Also, if he has that attitude then I think you and baby will be much better off without him. Both me and hubby grew up without dads, so many people do now, and it doesn't do any harm as long as the child has a loving and caring mummy which you so clearly are.



 
The other ladies are right darling, it's absolutely unacceptable what he and his family are doing, he is as responsible as you are but he's not facing up to it, and his mother should be ashamed of herself!
You're a lot stronger than you think, and if you go with what they say then the bullies have won.
You can do whatever you set your mind to, when the baby is here you just find ways to cope, because there's no other option, it just works out somehow.
I really hope that you make a decision that YOU are happy with, right now anyone else's feelings are irrelivent as your bf and his family have acted disgustingly towards you, you deserve a lot better than that xo
 
I don't have any family around me at all so I would be well and truly alone...due to all the miscarriages the paranoia during my pregnancies was out of hand and I'm not sure how I'd cope with that if I was alone? My head feels like scrambled eggs that is literally the only way to describe it! I asked him if he thought what he was doing was right...He said he knew he was wrong but that he was refusing to be put in this 'situation' I promised if I got pregnant that I wouldn't have the baby but then we started having a lot of unprotected sex so he knew it would happen, and he knew I wanted it...if it had been a true accident I might have cared about his feelings a little more...

I don't feel like I've trapped him, I feel like he's a child who has always had his way and this is a full scale tantrum because things are not going according to his perfect life plan!
I'm being made to suffer because of poor decisions that he also made, no one forced him to have Sex with me! Infact I remember him not actually giving a crap at the time!

I'm so sad how do I cope now :(
 
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How far away are your family? I know you said you don't talk to your mum.

You are right you haven't trapped him, he played the part in the unprotected sex, he should of thought about the consequences

You really don't deserve what he and his family are throwing at you though.

I thought 2 year old tantrums were bad lol

I hope you don't suffer a miscarriage etc but if you did I don't think he would have the mentality to understand or care or even the maturity. I am glad that through your confusion you are seeing him for what he is though, and you and your children will be much better without him as he isn't really a good role model with tantrums like that x
 
Also this forum is so supportive whatever happens someone will always be there for you to vent or help you through a bad time the best we can x
 
Thank you everyone x I'm going to try to sleep and clear the confusion
Don't know what I'd do without a place to talk it out
 
Sleep well, I hope tomorrow is a better day for you x
 
You didn't trap him, he has sex to you know, 21 isn't that young either, it's not like he's a teenager! Your relationship is changed forever now anyway as now you've seen his and his families true colours, imagine as well what if you go through with what he wants and the you can't have anymore children will you still be happy to go through with a termination. I just ask because my friend had a termination and now she's had to go through 3 ivf procedures with no joy, just really consider your options, I know money can be tight but there will always be a way through it and it's tiring and anxious time but nobody will ever love you more than your baby, I hope you're ok x
 
He left x I think there's been too much...I feel so guilty he's so young and I've left him in ruins :(
Went to the clinic today and I'm so early, there's a sac but nothing visible inside yet so they said they couldn't treat me if they hadn't seen it? I've never done this before so I don't know if that's right?
 
He has left you in ruins sweetie, and I'm not sure I've never been to a clinic

You will be ok without him it might just take a little while to feel that way, but don't feel guilty after the way he and his family treated you, you deserve much better than that x


 
It's all your choice :) if you are going to regret not having the baby then you know you should be having it. That baby will give you unconditional love from day 1 no questions asked :) x
 
I want my baby :(

So have it, your relationship is as good as over now with him after all that has happened and you will cope. It's amazing what you can do when faced with it xxx
 

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