Pregnant and scared

[Roxy]

Hi everyone, hoping I'm not the only woman feeling this way... I'm around 5 weeks pregnant, I only found out yesterday and right now, I feel no excitement or joy, just pure terror. I can't sleep or eat I've been with my partner for 4 years and for almost all of that time I've been desperate to become a mum. My partner recently, finally agreed we could start trying and a month later I'm pregnant after fearing it would take years! I dreamed about this for so long, how excited I'd feel, it's all I've ever wanted so why do I feel so sad and down? Mostly it's because I feel isolated. We moved to the north east a few months ago, 2 hours away from my family and friends as it's where my partner is from. He now works abroad and is only home 4 days, once a month. I've got no friends up here and no job to occupy me. I was job hunting when I fell pregnant. I only have my mother in law and sis in law who i'm just starting to get to know. I'm worried about how we'll afford the baby with just my partner's wage (he already has 2 kids from previous relationship to support) i'm worried as our house isn't big enough for a new baby, I feel lonely and no that i'm unlikely to find a job now i'm pregnant so i feel totally isolated up here. Would feel so much better if my mum was here and my friends. Does anyone else feel terrified now they're pregnant?

 

[Sarah13]

I understand how you feel about OH working away and family not close by, my hubby works offshore so away more than home and family all way down south near London. I try to get out, maybe join some pregnancy fitness classes like yoga or aqua natal to meet other mums. We all get down days so your def not on your own there, it takes a while to sink in even when you've been wanting this for ages, the enormity of it suddenly becomes real! Keep looking for a job, some employers will still take pregnant women on, maybe even a temping job, it would get you out and help with money. Give it a few weeks and the hormones will settle and you will have got your head around having a baby. In the mean time this place is great for chatting and helping each other out with our worries, your not totally alone! X

 

[PrincessPeanut]

I'm pregnant for the first time and feel the same in some ways. I've probably felt every emotion under the sun so far and I'm currently crapping myself at the thought of being in tri 3 soon which has loads of heavily pregnant women on the countdown to giving birth, I'm no where near ready for that jump just yet.

I don't have many female friends because of the career I took on and I can sympathise with you on that respect and also despite my mother being close by we don't get on very well so I won't have much involvement from that point of view either.
The main thing to remember is that you'll be ok, things will eventually fall into place. Once baby is here you'll make loads of new mummy friends, that's one thing I'm really looking forward too.


Where about a in the north east are you? I'm just north of Newcastle by about 10-15 mins


xxx

 

[Mrs N]

I think these are all emotions that we have all been through at some point. It is an emotional roller coaster and you just have to sit it out im afraid coz its the hormones ( I have cried 3 times today for no reason!!!) Dont worry about money you will make do coz people always do, remember that your baby will become more important than the trips to the shops and takeaways!! As for feeling isolated why dont you look into mums and bumps groups that they have around the country, might be an oppertunity to meet people in the same boat. Im 7 weeks and I have an interview for a job on thursday, not going to tell em im pregnant but I just want something for a couple of months for some extra cash. If your not happy doing that then why not volunteer? Maybe at a charity shop or sommat? Might help you meet some new people?!?!
xxxx

 

[PrincessPeanut]

P.S. sorry for typos I'm on my phone xx

 

[Roxy]

Hi girls, thank you so, so much for all of your replies - you all made me feel a lot better - knowing that I'm not the only one facing these problems and fears helps so much. Spoke to my other half on skype tonight and we ended up rowing cause he doesn't understand how I went from wanting a baby so much, to suddenly being panic striken and upset, worrying about everything. He has a fair point, it doesn't seem rational. Signed up with a few agencies so really gonna put 110% into finding a job, hopefully a temping one, to tide me over for a few months. If no luck I will definately being doing some volunteering, thank you Mrs N, it seems such a good idea Didn't even know mums and bumps classes existed either, and I think once I've got my head round things I'll definately make an effort to start attending classes to meet other mums to be. Right now I can't even comprehend the fact that I'm pregnant, I feel like I'm talking about a friend, it just hasn't registered in my mind yet :-S
Sarah13 - thank you so much for reminding me that I'm not the only woman who lives away from family and also has a partner working away. It gets so lonely sometimes and easy to think I'm the only person in this boat. I get so jealous of my friends who's partners are home every night and mums live round the corner.
Princess Peanut - I live in Stockton on Tees so not a million miles away - I'm still getting used to the Teesside way of life (and accent!) my partner's kids live in Newcastle. If ur ever down these parts, give me a shout!!
Good luck to all of you with your pregnancies xxxxxx

 

[Roxy]

Mrs N, forgot to say - best of luck for the interview on Thurs, i'll keep fingers crossed for you, really hope you get it. You've given me hope! xx

 

[Mrs N]

Aww thanks hun!! I give myself a aim to not be sick over the interviewer!! Seems to take the edge of the nervousness!! Feel a bit bad about decieving them but at least they will get about 6 months out of me and they dont have to pay maternity as well!!
Dont worry my hubby doesnt understand how I feel about the baby, it doesnt change a mans life as much as it does the women!! Think it is a natural response to make you plan for the baby and also you have to bear in mind you have 9 months (well 8 now) to get used to the idea!!
Good luck hunni!!
xxxxx

 

[PrincessPeanut]

I'm totally with you one the registering you're actually pregnant because I still feel like that. It's only this past week that it's all started to dawn on me how close it's getting and I've started panicking a little.
OH is in the complete and utter pure bliss and excitement about having a baby and I'm sh1tting a brick as the time gets closer!!

I start maternity leave next week so if you're at a loose end during the summer we could maybes meet u for a coffee half way between us if you like? Keep in touch!
These boards are an absolute god send and if it wasn't for the girls on here I'll of probably gone insane by now!! xxxxx

 

[pixie17]

i am 7 weeks pregnant and although my husband and i are happy about it and he has been great, i am really missing being close to my mum, dad and other family and friends. i live in a different country and it takes two flights to get from here to there! However, i am going to use some of my leave to go and spend some time there and my husband is also happy for me to take the baby there for a month or so after its born while i am on maternity leave. perhaps this is something which you could maybe look at doing while your OH is away? Like you, i was also unaware of the baby bump groups and I am defo going to look at whats on around this area (although the language barrier might prove to be a problem - who knows what kind of class i will end up in lol!). It can be very isolating when you live in such an unfamiliar place so i totaly empathise with you. I really hope things start getting better for you. Best of luck xx

 

[SurpriseBean]

Scared and confused.

I'm 36 and pregnant.... Its a long long story so I'll try and give you the short version...

My husband and I tried for a baby for 10 years (7 cycles of fertility treatment). He became a very big drinker and eventually physically hurt me. I forgave him and stayed. He hurt me again, I tried to forgive him but I couldn't cope and left with my 14yr old son from previous.

I hit rock bottom, the doctors put me on medication and I was so spaced out that I crashed my car. That night I had a few glasses of wine and one thing led to another with a friend (He thought he was unable to have children. He tried for 9yrs with his ex-wife). The result is the pregnancy I thought I always wanted but the whole situation is such a mess.

Please give me some advice, what do I do? I live in a small town... I'm scared....

 

[dingdongbaby]

Hi Surprise
This is an old thread...but whatever the circumstances congratulations on your little bean. How many weeks are you?
x

 

[SurpriseBean]

xx