Advice or just a chat...

[Sparklegirl]

Let us know how it goes when they call

 

[MrsB2105]

Ooh how do you want them to go? X

 

[Aimee doodle]

I'm not sure...part of me hopes miscarriage (never thought I'd be hoping for that ) as then the choice is out of my hands and my body will do the work...really really praying it doesn't point toward ectopic as I'm poopin myself right now...

 

[MrsB2105]

I really hope it's not ectopic too x

 

[Aimee doodle]

Levels have tripled, so no ectopic! Thank god. she sounded so happy to give me the news on the phone but I'm now back where I started...my stupid brain is actually considering keeping the baby and telling him to go away if he doesn't like it! I'm so so confused...another scan on the 25th x

 

[MrsB2105]

Well at least it isn't an ectopic! Have you told him yet? Sorry you are back to square one with the huge decision but I am so pleased for you that it isn't ectopic. So apart from the ectopic part how do you feel? X

 

[northerngirl]

What a whirlwind you're going through! It must be so crazy for you to have had all these emotions in such a short space of time! Relieved to hear it's not eptopic, it sounds as though you really do want this baby so I don't think that a termination would be the right choice for you, you sounded so disappointed when you thought the pregnancy had ended.
It seems strange that he felt he was ready to take on your children and become a part of their life but says he's not ready for his own? I know it's different in a way but if he's taken such a shine to them I find it hard to believe that he wouldn't feel the same way when this baby came along.
He sounds like a nice guy and I bet he would end up loving the baby when it's here, but I know that things don't always turn out that way and you can't be sure so I get that it's really hard.
Good luck to you either way, it's your body and you need to do what your heart tells you xox

 

[Aimee doodle]

Just told him but he didn't say an awful lot, just that he'll take me to my scan next week I know it'll be way too early to see a heartbeat if we can't even see the sac yet, must be very early on still...I feel constantly sick and anxious I just want someone to choose for me so I can hide. Times like this I feel like I'm not ready to be a grown up!

 

[MrsB2105]

Yep being a grown up can suck can't it, hopefully he will see how all of this is making you feel, and at least he is willing to go to the scans with you too ... Deep down I think he is ready but in his head he probably isn't, he clearly knows how to look after you. Only you and I mean you can make the choice of what happens to this baby though x

 

[Aimee doodle]

I think I'm going to put it out if my mind until scan time? I've had so many miscarriages some close to 12 weeks so there's still no guarantees...maybe it will be the final decider once I see it in front of me as I don't think even now it's hit me fully

 

[MrsB2105]

That's sensible, just be careful you don't hurt yourself in the meantime etc x

 

[Aimee doodle]

Hey ladies, can't vent on here anymore as he found the thread and got upset. He doesn't want the baby and he's adamant about that and said he wouldn't stay if I keep it so i guess that's it...
Thank you all so so much for your support, groups like this are invaluable for people in situations like this and I've honestly felt a little less alone x

I will update you all when I can.

 

[MrsB2105]

Oh my, sorry to hear that, let us know what happens and feel free to come and chat on here when you need to x

 

[BlondeP]

Oh no! That's so sad. Please come back whenever you can to update how you are.... Just make sure YOU make a decision and don't just go based on what he wants. xxxxxxx

 

[Pambi]

It's a bit worrying that he has searched your phone or whatever but I hope he can see how genuinely torn you are. Do come back when your privacy is being respected.

 

[scn]

^^^^ totally agree

 

[Laura1992]

It sounds a bit controlling that you can't say what you like on here, although of course it's a difficult time for both of you and I think it's easy for these female dominated forums to be a bit one sided. Sorry to hear that you're going through so much and hope things get better for you very soon xx

 

[mummywanabe]

Are any of us ever ready though, really ready, my husband hadn't a clue and I was just as bad and we were 30, even at that age my husband was saying I'm not sure I'm ready for this and now he says what would we do without him, it's scary for anyone especially the first but once baby is gone it's gone forever, do u mind me asking how old is he?

 

[Aimee doodle]

He's only 21...spoke to his mum who said if I have the baby he's going home and then leaving the country, that they'd support that and disown me completely as this 'isn't what they want' like I even have a choice. My appointment is tomorrow. I'm so crushed I literally just feel numb. Words can't tell you how much I want this baby but I know I won't cope on my own... Head is spinning

 

[kumber]

My hubby was 20 when we got pregnant with our first and was still in uni. He has graduated this summer, we have two boys, and have just found out we have a third on the way. Age is no excuse when babies are involved, he needs to man up! If you want this baby then go for it. You will cope cus that's what mums do! Big hugs to you hun, be sure you're happy with your decision whichever way you go