19 and 24 and having a baby- advice.

[taran2k]

Hey there everyone,
I'm just looking for some impartial advice, my partner and I found out last week that she's expecting. This was unplanned and come as a bit of a shock, as we took all the precautions.

But now we have to deal with it, shes 19 at the moment and still lives with her parents who will of course offer there full support. I own my own house and have a secure steady job. She is currently out of work due to finishing her studys and was going off to uni.

We were looking into moving in with each other over xmas, so her moving in shouldnt be a problem. I've told her that I'm 100% behind her and will help all I can. Finances will be tight, but I'll have to drop my beliefs and ask for working tax credits and dip into my savings. Of course the baby comes first.

The thing that worrys me is I'll be 25 when the baby is born and feel that I'm ready to be a father and feel its the right time for me. But with her being only 20 when it's due, I'm scared how it's going to affect her, she's still very young at heart sometimes and will have to grow up tremendously.

I know that the best thing I can do is be there for her and be supportive. But some advice would be great. I think the thing that scares me the most is the stigma along with teenage pregnancy, even though I'm 25 and quite secure,grown up. We will still get noses turned up at us .

Thanks for your time in reading this.!

 

[FebMum2Be]

I was 18 when I fell pregnant, and 19 when I had my son, my OH was 22.. We grew up a lot during my pregnancy, I think it's a natural process getting to grips that you are going to be responsible for this little life.. I'm 20 in a week and have now got an 8 month old.. I am proud of being a young mum, I don't let anyone look down on me, I do a good job looking after my son and he wants for nothing.. I know what you mean about the label you are thinking of.. But not all "teenage" pregnancies have the same outcome The baby is coming into a stable and loving relationship by the sounds of things, I would say try not to worry too much, and try to enjoy the pregnancy as best you can.. And of course, congratulations

 

[Elfs Mummy]

Im 19 and expecting my first LO, you grow up soo much in the first few weeks i found that the baby takes over everything. Yes i miss all my uni friends but i can't wait to be a parent. I was using the implant so contraception is not 100 % effective. There are lots of benefits that you can apply for and baby stuff you can get really cheaply second hand, theres loads of people here who love ebay and swear by it. I wish you all the luck in the world, and Congratulations xx

 

[Lacey's Mummy]

Congrats on the pregnancy!!
I was 20 when I fell pregnant with my daughter, 21 when I had her and other half was only 19 when I had her! When there's a baby involed you automatically grow up. We only had good jobs when I was pregnant as we wasn't even living together but as soon as I gave birth we moved to a private rented house that we're still in. It took other half slot longer to get to grips with parenthood, he still wanted to go out with his friends but after a while he seemed to calm down and he's happy to put me and my daughter first and now we're expecting our second baby!! So everything does work out for the best! Goodluck

 

[Pudds86]

Not being funny but if she was mature enough for you to sleep with then she is mature enough to be a Mummy...

Dont worry about the stigma that comes with it. As long as you both do what is best for the baby then you will be seen to do so. You sound like you have your head screwed on and I am sure you willl both be wonderful parents so long as you work together.

x

 

[Lau's]

You both sound like you have sensible heads on those shoulders. These things happen and happen for a reason. If she was planning on moving in with you anyway, its not forced which is the main thing. If either of you feel forced then your not ready but if you feel secure enough and you sound secure enough, then go for it. Ignore your ages, if your ready...your ready.

Good luck, i hope you both have a healthy pregnancy.

 

[Naaat]

I'm 19 and this is my first pregnancy. Being young doesn't mean she's not ready to be a parent, just have faith in her, I'm sure it'll be fine. Having a baby does change everything, but for the better I believe. As long as you both have support around you everything will turn out great.
Some people will probably turn their noses up at you... but people turn their noses up at everything. Not just pregnancy. These are people stuck in the old ways, just ignore them. As long as you're happy it doesn't matter what other people think.

 

[setdse]

First of all Congratulations to you both!

Hey I'm 19 too (20 if baby is on date) and my OH is 21. We never expected this and hadn't even really spoken about it. I was having depo injections and fell preg half way though my cycle of injections (doctors are miffed), but we saw it as a sign. Dont get me wrong we aren't religious... far from it but we both believe things happen for a reason. I have lived out of home for 3 years now so im quite mature in myself, but if your OH is going to uni sounds like she has her head screwed on too. People would have said my OH was the immature one out of the two of us but since we found out he has grown up so much and i can tell he see's this as nothing like a mistake.

Give her time for things to sink in and im sure you'll be amazed. Small things like my belly hardening has brought it to life a bit more.

 

[flexilexi394]

Hello and congratulations!! I was 19 when I fell pregnant, am now 20 and will be 20 when baby is born. My partner is 3 weeks younger than me. We too weren't planning on a baby at all, but we are going to go for it. My partner is feeling very anxious about having a baby, but I really feel I can do it! I have spent about £200 so far and have everything I need ( his parents are buying us the puschair) and everyone has given me loads of stuff!! I also am a huge eBay fan. You're lucky you have somewhere to live-I'm living at home with my partner and mum. Mainly because maternity pay sucks, so I am just going to have to be patient and wait for funds to allow me to move out!! Seriously, all the best, it's not all that bad. Xxx

 

[taran2k]

Thanks everyone for your kind words and adding your own experiences/thoughts. It's made me alot calmer and I feel alot better now things are sinking in

 

[pinkymum]

I just wanted to add something. I'm 28 and I'm expecting my first baby on my own. Even at 28 I feel Like my perspective on life has changed already, and growing up even more! I know teenage mothers who do a fantastic job! I'm sure your gf will do the same! Congrats! It's a learning time for us all but an amazing one!

X x x x