4th degree tear

[Lindaxxx]

I gave birth 12 weeks ago and had a 4th degree tear. I’m still sore and I wondered how long it usually takes to heal? I didn’t have a good pregnancy and was looking forward to feeling back to normal soon after birth but I’m still feeling pretty rubbish. I didn’t have a complicated birth and my baby was small so I don’t know what went wrong. I was told I had a bad tear and needed to go to theatre to have it repaired. I remember feeling disappointed because all I used during labour was gas and air and was really proud of myself! Nobody told me I had a 4th degree tear, I found out from my maternity notes!
I looked up all the information online but would like to hear from somebody who went through it. I’m still not back to normal and I’m starting to feel down about it. People are only interested in my baby and nobody really understands that I’m still in pain. I’m also worried about having sex again because I read it’s very painful.

 

[Wilson28]

Hi hunni

A 4th degree tear will take a while to heal, its a good one that, nerves in tissue is what will be hurting, have you tried regular baths? Will help with the pain and reduce any swelling, also try not to wipe when u go to the loo, pat yrself dry, only use white loo roll, because of colouring and perfumes. Only use cotton pants, and hsve they gave you any cream ? Xx

 

[Lindaxxx]

Hello! Thank you so much for such a quick reply!
I only started taking baths recently because it was uncomfortable for me to sit on such a hard surface. I'm not sure if they help though.
I didn't get any cream but one of the midwives recommended using Sudocream in the first few weeks. I also got prescribed an antibiotics cream a few weeks ago but it only made things worse. I find that keeping it dry works best. On the other hand, it a feel a slight burning sensation in the area and would like to find a cream to soothe it a little. I'm not sure what to use? I went to my GP 3 times already and only one of the doctors actually examined me. I had to go to hospital last week because one of the plastic stitches was sticking out and irritating everything around. I thought I would feel back to normal by now but it's not healed yet.

 

[Jaxx01]

Awww you poor thing would tea tree oil sting? With my second I had a 2nd degree year and to soothe and help it heal I put 10 drops of tea tree oil in a bit of milk and mixed it up then put in a bath about 5-6 times a day!! The reason for the milk is it carries it around the water, if you put it straight in the bath it just all floats to the top and you get no benefit

I hope you get sorted soon Hun xxx

 

[Wilson28]

Bless ya, you need to keep it partly soft hun and not to dry, try sensitive bsby wipes to pat yourself with couple of times a day, im still pregnant but have worked in the nhs nursing for years and last thing u want is your skin to dry out, so drinkly lots of water to keep rehydrated, plus will thin the toxins out in your urine not to sting and keep bowel movements soft, no soaps or bubble bath to be used in baths or to wash with, and have u tried a rubber ring or a towel in the bath? Let air get to yr bits too so sleep without pants on if u can xx

 

[Lindaxxx]

Awww you poor thing would tea tree oil sting? With my second I had a 2nd degree year and to soothe and help it heal I put 10 drops of tea tree oil in a bit of milk and mixed it up then put in a bath about 5-6 times a day!! The reason for the milk is it carries it around the water, if you put it straight in the bath it just all floats to the top and you get no benefit

I hope you get sorted soon Hun xxx

Thank you!I've not heard about this. I will try that tonight!

 

[claire671]

Hey hun, gosh what a nightmare for you. I had a 3rd degree tear and that was bad enough!
I have been lucky but probably because I have been super worried about infection. Here is what I did to get things healing quick: Changed maternity pad every single time I went to the loo, patted dry, used sensitive toilet wipes for when I had a bowel movement (also took fybogel and lactulose to help), had warm shallow baths with two drops of lavender oil in to aid healing, when things felt super sore I soaked a maternity pad in ice water with a teaspoon of milk and two drops of lavender oil then wrung it out and held it against my stitches for 15 mins.
I haven't had sex yet, waiting till my 6 week check. Very nervous about that! I know what you mean about every one focusing on the baby, don't think people realise that I'm still recovering as they expect me to run around after them and just jump back into my old routine.
If you haven't felt any improvement soon hun I would get checked at your doctors and demand a proper examination.

Really hope things improve soon for you, biggest hugs xxxxx

 

[Lindaxxx]

Bless ya, you need to keep it partly soft hun and not to dry, try sensitive bsby wipes to pat yourself with couple of times a day, im still pregnant but have worked in the nhs nursing for years and last thing u want is your skin to dry out, so drinkly lots of water to keep rehydrated, plus will thin the toxins out in your urine not to sting and keep bowel movements soft, no soaps or bubble bath to be used in baths or to wash with, and have u tried a rubber ring or a towel in the bath? Let air get to yr bits too so sleep without pants on if u can xx

Thank you so much for your suggestions! I'm starting to think that the dryness probably does make things worse! I just forget to drink beacuse I'm so busy with my baby I will make an effort now and hopefully it will make a difference.
I used the Cussons Mum and Me bath soak with aloe vera in my baths and I will try the tea tree oil tonight.
Towel in the bath! I can't belive I didn't think of that myself!!!
Thank you!

 

[Lindaxxx]

Hey hun, gosh what a nightmare for you. I had a 3rd degree tear and that was bad enough!
I have been lucky but probably because I have been super worried about infection. Here is what I did to get things healing quick: Changed maternity pad every single time I went to the loo, patted dry, used sensitive toilet wipes for when I had a bowel movement (also took fybogel and lactulose to help), had warm shallow baths with two drops of lavender oil in to aid healing, when things felt super sore I soaked a maternity pad in ice water with a teaspoon of milk and two drops of lavender oil then wrung it out and held it against my stitches for 15 mins.
I haven't had sex yet, waiting till my 6 week check. Very nervous about that! I know what you mean about every one focusing on the baby, don't think people realise that I'm still recovering as they expect me to run around after them and just jump back into my old routine.
If you haven't felt any improvement soon hun I would get checked at your doctors and demand a proper examination.

Really hope things improve soon for you, biggest hugs xxxxx

Hey, I'm sorry to hear about your 3rd degree! I was worried about infection too and always had a wash after a bowel movement and changed my pads a lot. I also was on fybogel and lactulose but didn't think it was important after a month or so and stopped taking it. That was a big mistake because I got constipated and things went downhill after that.
My 6 weeks check up was filling in a questionaire about depression and nobody examined me! Now I wish I was brave enough to request it. But I was embarassed plus my baby was crying, so I decided to leave and went home.
I didn't tell many people that I had a 4th degree tear because it's not something you discuss with just anybody. The first week was a nightmare bacause everybody wanted to come for a visit and I couldn't get much rest. My in-laws live very close and thought it's OK to come 3 times a day... I wish I took time to recover after birth. maybe I would feel better now!
Anyway, thank you for your reply!! I hope you will feel back to normal very soon!

 

[NavyLouise]

I hope you're feeling better now??
I was going to recommend tea tree oil too! I put drops of it into a measuring jug with warm water and poured it over my bits every time I went for a wee.. also had tea tree baths and changed my pad lots. I only had a 2nd degree tear and a graze but understand what you mean about how it feels like nobody cares about the continued pain and discomfort you have to go through after labour!

Your In laws sound exactly like mine also! They came the day I had the baby and then every other day for almost two weeks - it REALLY slowed down my healing and made my baby blues far worse.

Hope you're getting lots of rest now.. XX

 

[Lindaxxx]

I hope you're feeling better now??
I was going to recommend tea tree oil too! I put drops of it into a measuring jug with warm water and poured it over my bits every time I went for a wee.. also had tea tree baths and changed my pad lots. I only had a 2nd degree tear and a graze but understand what you mean about how it feels like nobody cares about the continued pain and discomfort you have to go through after labour!

Your In laws sound exactly like mine also! They came the day I had the baby and then every other day for almost two weeks - it REALLY slowed down my healing and made my baby blues far worse.

Hope you're getting lots of rest now.. XX

Hello! Thank you for your reply! Sorry to hear about your in-laws being there all the time! It's exhasuting but It's hard to tell them not to come. Especially if your in-laws are anything like mine and would get very offended...

I'm having another crisis. I have to have another stitch removed so I'm going to the hospital tomorrow morning. I went to see physio last week and was told that it's still early days for me and that I will not be back to normal for a couple of months. I'm just starting to realise the seriousness of the situation and that I may have some problems for years to come.

I hope you will recover very soon!

 

[Lindaxxx]

I hope you're feeling better now??
I was going to recommend tea tree oil too! I put drops of it into a measuring jug with warm water and poured it over my bits every time I went for a wee.. also had tea tree baths and changed my pad lots. I only had a 2nd degree tear and a graze but understand what you mean about how it feels like nobody cares about the continued pain and discomfort you have to go through after labour!

Your In laws sound exactly like mine also! They came the day I had the baby and then every other day for almost two weeks - it REALLY slowed down my healing and made my baby blues far worse.

Hope you're getting lots of rest now.. XX

Oh, I forgot to ask - how many drops do you put in your bath/measuring jug? Thanks!!

 

[Samsgirl]

hello....can def recommend the tea tree oil. i had an episiotomy that just refused to heal cos my stitches burst and i had strep b and so just keep getting infection after infection. I also had the worst piles ever and so they kept stretching my perinium and so it was so so painful....i was a wreck for weeks and hubby and my mum had to do a lot with the baby cos i couldnt get up and down off the floor and things....

To be honest...I am still a bit sore at time if my piles are bad and baby is 9 months old...but nowhere near like i was, so there is light at the end of the tunnel.

i used to put tea tree in the bath and put about 3 or 4 drops onto a pad and wear that....once i started doing that it seemed to heal really quick...

good luck......xxx

 

[Lindaxxx]

hello....can def recommend the tea tree oil. i had an episiotomy that just refused to heal cos my stitches burst and i had strep b and so just keep getting infection after infection. I also had the worst piles ever and so they kept stretching my perinium and so it was so so painful....i was a wreck for weeks and hubby and my mum had to do a lot with the baby cos i couldnt get up and down off the floor and things....

To be honest...I am still a bit sore at time if my piles are bad and baby is 9 months old...but nowhere near like i was, so there is light at the end of the tunnel.

i used to put tea tree in the bath and put about 3 or 4 drops onto a pad and wear that....once i started doing that it seemed to heal really quick...

good luck......xxx

Thank you for your advice!! I'm sorry to hear about your bad time after birth. It is terrible what we have to go through, isn't it. But our babies are worth all that pain! That's what I keep telling myself every day.

 

[Samsgirl]

oh yeah....she is amazing

oh and we had sex about 13 weeks after birth...just take it easy and i went on top.....i had been to see a consultant who told me all was well down there before i attempted!!

 

[NavyLouise]

Sorry to hear things are taking their time I heal .. just take it easy and I'm sure you'll be back to normal before you know it.
I put about 3 drops of tea tree in my jug usually, and about 10 drops into the bath! Hope this helps, it felt lovely when I used it!

 

[babymother]

Hiya...sorry to hear you had a bad tear xxx

I had an epi that extended to 3 rd degree the first birth. Like you I was scared I'd never heal and get better.

To reassure you, you will heal and get better. Have you had a check up at the hospital. I did and sorry TMI but I had a finger up my bum to make sure I could squeeze everything as I should. Which was reassuring to me.

It will take a few months to feel completely healed I would say but having said that, that doesn't mean sex is off the menu etc.

I found lavender essential oil better than tea tree, it was more soothing and relaxing in general in the bath.

I went on to have 2 more babies with 2nd deg tears
I think they are much better at repairs these days thank they used to be. They tend not to over tighten with stitches etc as they know the body heals well anyway, so stitches are a guide for the body to do its own work.

Don't rush yourself, you will heal but if things don't feel right you must tell your GP/doctor.

Please don't suffer in silence xxx

 

[Lindaxxx]

Thanks for your reply, babymother!
I have my hospital appointment in the beginning of January. I did have one with a physio because I can't hold wind in and have to rush to the toilet to move bowels (sorry, TMI!). She gave me some pelvic floor exercises but only time will show if that helps. That's one of the reasons I'm feeling so down. I'm waiting impatiently for the specialist hospital appointment to find out more.

I do feel better than a couple of weeks ago when I joined the forum, but I'm very emotional and cry every day. I'm still breastfeeding so I think I'm a bit hormonal, which doesn't help. I don't really have anybody I could talk about it though.

It is encouraging to hear that you had more babies! Athough I feel rubbish now, I would want at least one more in the future.

I will try the lavender oil, thanks for the suggestion. I think it smells better than tea tree oil!

xxx

 

[babymother]

Thanks for your reply, babymother!
I have my hospital appointment in the beginning of January. I did have one with a physio because I can't hold wind in and have to rush to the toilet to move bowels (sorry, TMI!). She gave me some pelvic floor exercises but only time will show if that helps. That's one of the reasons I'm feeling so down. I'm waiting impatiently for the specialist hospital appointment to find out more.

I do feel better than a couple of weeks ago when I joined the forum, but I'm very emotional and cry every day. I'm still breastfeeding so I think I'm a bit hormonal, which doesn't help. I don't really have anybody I could talk about it though.

It is encouraging to hear that you had more babies! Athough I feel rubbish now, I would want at least one more in the future.

I will try the lavender oil, thanks for the suggestion. I think it smells better than tea tree oil!

xxx

Your welcome. PM me anytime if you need to talk take care xxx

 

[Samsgirl]

Thanks for your reply, babymother!
I have my hospital appointment in the beginning of January. I did have one with a physio because I can't hold wind in and have to rush to the toilet to move bowels (sorry, TMI!). She gave me some pelvic floor exercises but only time will show if that helps. That's one of the reasons I'm feeling so down. I'm waiting impatiently for the specialist hospital appointment to find out more.

I do feel better than a couple of weeks ago when I joined the forum, but I'm very emotional and cry every day. I'm still breastfeeding so I think I'm a bit hormonal, which doesn't help. I don't really have anybody I could talk about it though.

It is encouraging to hear that you had more babies! Athough I feel rubbish now, I would want at least one more in the future.

I will try the lavender oil, thanks for the suggestion. I think it smells better than tea tree oil!

xxx

hey just seen this...the wind thing...that does get better too. I had this problem....still do if i am windy and i laugh or cough or sneeze...but its loads better than it was...i would say it took about 5 months..but just keep doing your pelvic floor.

no one tells you any of this happes do they??? I am thinking of writing a truths about pregnancy book..lol x