'You should get married!'

[saralou5]

This is what I got told today. 'You should get married because you're having a baby and it'd be the right thing to do.'

I do not plan on getting married and do not appreciate people telling me what I should do. Marriage isn't for everyone and as much as I appreciate the sentiment it's not for me and my OH. We're perfectly happy as we are and even if we wanted to get married we couldn't afford it, especially with the little one on the way! I just think some people can be so judgemental and when I responded with 'Well marriage isn't for us' I got the most hideous glare of the guy that said it!

I think the right thing to do is for me and the OH to give our baby the love and support he needs and we don't need marriage in order to do this. 'The right thing to do.' That's what annoys me.

Rant over, apologies .



Member Of Team Blue

 

[CARNAT22]

OMG, I only told work yesterday and the first question I was asked was "were you trying?" and the second "are you getting married?"

The blokes have been fine and said congrats but it's the women that are pissing me off.

I appreciate that a few women are of an older generation and marriage (in their day) would have occured before baby BUT Jesus!!

I was tempted today to reply "we're not getitng married as we want baby to be a *******"

(sorry for the language but this is a hot topic for me LOL!)

xxxxxxxxx

 

[Leah04x]

Completely agree with you + have people say the same to me and my OH! Personally, I'd much rather use that few grand to give my LO a good start in life, rather than to be able to say I'm married.. I think the priority is to bring your LO up to the best of your ability together, whether that be married or not, that's the 'right thing to do'.. Annoys me so much! But I try to take comments like that with a pinch of salt! xx

 

[tabbi]

tell them fuck off, its up to you if u want get married or if you dont so do as you like hunni x x x

 

[mrswoody]

can't believe that people still have this view on couples who choose not to marry! IMO if you don't want to then don't. I have the opposite, when we got married it was when are you starting a family! Literally the day after we got married! Jeez give us a chance!

 

[saralou5]

tell them fuck off, its up to you if u want get married or if you dont so do as you like hunni x x x

Hahahaha! Couldn't have put it better

xxx

 

[jojo3972]

i get this allllllllllllllllllllll the time ok this is my 7th baby ok me n oh have been together 24 yrs so we rnt married so what? we are quite happy how we are and i personaly dont wanna spend over a grande n thats cheap on a wedding i would rather take the kids on holiday, i think i am going to get my name changed tho to his name i think thats long over due lol we do not need a peice of paper to say we love each other and want to commit for me having children together is much more of a commitment but this is my own opinion i understand why others get married its jyst not for us xx

 

[Loula]

You should have seen peoples faces when i told them i wasnt with the father and he doesnt want to be involved, their face was a picture x

 

[jojo3972]

You should have seen peoples faces when i told them i wasnt with the father and he doesnt want to be involved, their face was a picture x

u think thats looks bad u should see the look i get wen i say this is number 7 u can see it going round in there head do they all have the same father 0o0o i bet they dont n b4 they get to judge me i say oh yes and btw they all have the same dad!! blergghhhh hahaha

 

[kaz1983]

its a personal choice whether to get married or not and it does annoy me when you get told "its the right thing to do" altho me and hubby have been married for nearly 6 years before then we werent ready for kids but as mrswoody said we were like that when we got engaged it was "wen r u getting married" then wen we got married it was "wen u having kids"

If I had got pregnant before hubby and I got married he said child wudny have had his surname damn right they wud have I aint taking all the blame haha and it wudny have been a cue to get married if we had got pregnant

just you ignore them hun and do what you want if they dont like it then tough cheddar xx

 

[mrz85]

it s up 2 u no one has a rite to tell u what 2 do x

 

[Loula]

You should have seen peoples faces when i told them i wasnt with the father and he doesnt want to be involved, their face was a picture x

u think thats looks bad u should see the look i get wen i say this is number 7 u can see it going round in there head do they all have the same father 0o0o i bet they dont n b4 they get to judge me i say oh yes and btw they all have the same dad!! blergghhhh hahaha

gotta locve judgemental people x

 

[JJ Mum]

Totally agree, Marriage is not for everyone, and not at the same time in life.

We got married because we wanted to , not because I was up the duff!! It took us 9 years to do it!

We had 2 lovely pageboys aged 2 and half and 4 and half, and a 1 and a half bridesmaid - and all were my children!

Weddings that bann kids drive me mad! and so we had 30 little kids at our wedding, and got a magican for them, banned speaches and had Mickey mouse on the cake , huge micky heluim balloons, and took them to Euro disney for our honeymoon for a few days.

Don't worry about others opinions, it's what you want that counts, after living together , kids and being partners, it really is just a peice of paper, but it's a great excuse if you ever fancy the dress, the party and the celebration of being together, that's what it was for us, and I wanted my kids to have the same name as me before age 5 starting school, just easier.

 

[saralou5]

It's so nice to hear so many views on this! I can't believe that in this day and age people are still so judgemental .


Member Of Team Blue

 

[tabbi]

its worse than years ago in some respects but one thing most people seems to forget freedom of speach where we can do as we like with regards to marriage and having children. i say fuck em to whoever tells us we should be married before we have kids, by the time my son is born i will have 2 kids and not married was going to get married this november but we moving it til next year as we want a better start for us and marriage is getting in the way x x x

 

[siouxie]

Personally i dont want to get married either 2 of my friends are constantly nagging there partners about getting married one of them has even been shopping around for a wedding dress even though there not engaged. If you both want to get married go for it, if that what makes you happy.
Personally i dont want to spend 12 grand on one day to show some body i love them, what if one day we dont love each other then how much is it going to cost for a divorce. My mum n dad was married before they had me and still are i cant imagine them ever breaking up. But there are pleanty or 2 or 3 time divorced people out there, and couples that have been together since school that arnt married. People just like to point out things in your life because theres isnt that great.

 

[TaffyRose]

We've been asked twice if we're getting married and both times we simply looked at them and said 'no', that pretty much stopped that conversation I may change my name to his and we have discussed marriage but at the moment we don't feel the need and we'll do it how and when we want not just because people think we should xxx

 

[Jayjay027]

I think people should butt out of ur business! And if I were u, I'd tell them as much!

I'm very traditional and always wanted to be married before we had children, so that's how I did it (although I did have 2 MC's before I got married!) But we got the 'oh ur pregnant? U didn't waste any time!' Because I got pregnant 5 months after our wedding.

People feel that they have the right to comment on things that have nothing to do with them. And I believe they do this because not enough people say 'just butt out!' X

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[Em91]

We keep getting this and its driving me mad, We are in a loving stable relationship. Our LO is going to be loved, adored and well look after, what the hell difference would a piece of paper and a couple of rings make. None in my opinion. We will get married eventually when we feel like we have a couple of grand to waste!

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[CARNAT22]

I think being pregnant does somehow seem to make people think they can ask inappropriote questions??

No-one would dream of asking me if I was "trying" before I announced it, yet 4 people asked me the day I told work?

I think sadly you do lose some of your privacy when you announce your pregnancy? There is always going to be the odd few nosey parkers that ask you stupid things!

xxxxxx