*** Working Mum's Support thread ***

[CARNAT22]

After improving for the past few days James has a temperature again and has gone back to laying on the sofa

I can't afford to have any more time off - we are two members down tomorrow and we move office this week, it's so hard when they are like this?

I am already angsty and feel really worried about what I am going to do.... I guess I just need to see how he is as the evening progresses.

X

 

[queenriccy]

How is he feeling this morning Carnat ?
I have left Olly with mam all snotty and sneezy, I have the worst head cold ever. And some idiot has lost the kettle at work ???!!!! I am so cold !!

xx

 

[CARNAT22]

How does one lose a kettle?



James is OK but OH stayed off today, just in-case. If all is OK he'll go to my Mum's tomorrow and if not then I'll be taking him back to GP tomorrow.

After spending a week with no adult company, I am actually so happy to be back at work LOL, I know James is OK but am so relieved he is with Daddy....

I can't stop talking today. Doesn't help that there are no decaff teabags so I've had my first proper cuppa in weeks. I am like a maniac!

X

 

[Dotty_woman]

Sounds like you're having a right old time of it Nat. Hope that James is feeling better soon. It's so much more difficult when you've got another little person on the way. I think I was just over 36 weeks when I finished and I agreed working a 4 day week for the last month which really helped me.

Whilst I'm enjoying having some money coming back in I'm really hating being back at work. I'm really struggling to focus and it's making me quite anxious. I feel like I'm not pulling my weight and I really can't face dealing with complicated problems. My brain doesn't seem to be functioning on full power. I'm not even doing half the stuff my colleagues are and I'm sure they must have noticed. To cap it all I've got this stupid urge to move house. Not sure what that's all about. Probably wishful thinking that I'd be less isolated in a different place. Any hoo, sorry for the rant. What I probably need is a different job that doesn't stress me out. xxx

 

[CARNAT22]

Is a different job a possibility Dotty?

After this baby I am going to have to look for something more suitable for our family needs. working FT with two kids won't be a possibility but sadly me giving up work isn't doable either.

I know what you mean about not wanting to undertake anything too challenging. I cannot get over involved with clients anymore and had to turn down an amazing role when I came back as it would have been too full on.

Still having a shitty time with James, he is physically much better but after being poorly he is now whiny and clingy and I don't think my Mum can actually cope with him. It's the first time she's ever had any of the grandkids "full time" and she admitted that it is very tough (gee thanks Mum, just what I need to hear when I walk out the door). I was actually in tears when I left him this morning and I have never been in tears leaving him!

My Dad works nights so he will be up and on hand to help for a bit.

I just need to get through this week. Neither me or OH can be off as we're both working to tight deadlines. I feel so guilty and so churned up about it all.

I know it's natural to have times like this - for months James has been healthy and childcare has been dandy but this past 10 days has been a freaking nightmare.

X

 

[Les1504]

Sounds like you're having a right old time of it Nat. Hope that James is feeling better soon. It's so much more difficult when you've got another little person on the way. I think I was just over 36 weeks when I finished and I agreed working a 4 day week for the last month which really helped me.

Whilst I'm enjoying having some money coming back in I'm really hating being back at work. I'm really struggling to focus and it's making me quite anxious. I feel like I'm not pulling my weight and I really can't face dealing with complicated problems. My brain doesn't seem to be functioning on full power. I'm not even doing half the stuff my colleagues are and I'm sure they must have noticed. To cap it all I've got this stupid urge to move house. Not sure what that's all about. Probably wishful thinking that I'd be less isolated in a different place. Any hoo, sorry for the rant. What I probably need is a different job that doesn't stress me out. xxx

You've totally summed up how I've been feeling Hun. I've had a horrendous year at work! I've had zero motivation, very low moods and generally felt like I didn't want to be there. The anxiety I developed after Harry's birth has just steadily got worse due to work x

 

[CARNAT22]

Are you still at work Les?

X

 

[Les1504]

Are you still at work Les?

X

I am, although currently on summer hols! I'm dreading going back, lack of support and general low morale hasn't helped either! I know I should stop moaning and start being proactive in finding another job, but I wonder if all schools will be the same. I also hope to start trying for baby number 2 at the end of the year, so trying to hang on in there x

 

[Jajis]

Whilst I'm enjoying having some money coming back in I'm really hating being back at work. I'm really struggling to focus and it's making me quite anxious. I feel like I'm not pulling my weight and I really can't face dealing with complicated problems. My brain doesn't seem to be functioning on full power. I'm not even doing half the stuff my colleagues are and I'm sure they must have noticed.

I've been back almost a year and you've just summed up exactly how I feel... I'm only back part-time, but I often feel that my line manager feels that I should be getting things done more quickly - it just isn't possible when you're only in half the week! It was slowly getting better and I thought I was getting back into the swing of it, when they dumped one of my colleagues from my old team into my current team.

She's mostly fine as a person (but can unintentionally be very rude), but is completely incompetent and totally wrong for the job. In our old team she was two grades higher than me and I still ended up teaching her everything and fixing all her stupid mistakes for her - we're now the same grade (I've gone up one, she's gone down one...) and doing the same job, and the whole situation is driving me insane and making me hate work again.

What's even worse is that our line manager knows how me and my other colleague feel (my other colleague has been quite forthright about it) about her, and there is a small possibility that she won't pass her probation which could lead to a fairly unpleasant scene if she works out that we didn't exactly help her cause... (we did try so, so hard when she was in her previous job, but she ignored every piece of advice we gave her - I even got my Mum who works for a trade union to give her advice despite the fact she refused to join the union - and so it's entirely her own fault she's ended up in this position). I've been having nightmares again which only happens when I'm properly stressed at work

 

[Becky1]

What a nightmare Jajis, hope it all works out ok. It's a nightmare when a colleague can't do the job as you end up doing yours and theirs.

I'm part time but get so stressed about work - I'm ok now as I'm finished for the week but come Sunday night I know I won't sleep. My job was stressful full time but part time is horrendous. I job share but my job share isn't one for updating systems so half the time I don't know what's she's done or not done and we duplicate work. Plus out of the last 5 weeks she's been on leave for 3 of them

 

[Jajis]

What a nightmare Jajis, hope it all works out ok. It's a nightmare when a colleague can't do the job as you end up doing yours and theirs.

I'm part time but get so stressed about work - I'm ok now as I'm finished for the week but come Sunday night I know I won't sleep. My job was stressful full time but part time is horrendous. I job share but my job share isn't one for updating systems so half the time I don't know what's she's done or not done and we duplicate work. Plus out of the last 5 weeks she's been on leave for 3 of them

Thanks, I just want it to all be over - she keeps applying for jobs (because she thinks this one is beneath her - and had the audacity to say that (although not in quite those words!) in front of me, despite the fact that we do the same job ) but hasn't even got an interview yet so I don't think she's going anywhere soon if she does pass her probation.

I know what you mean about it being stressful doing a job part-time (especially when you used to do it full-time). There are supposed to be 2 FTE people doing my job, for the first 4 months I was back at work we had 1.5 FTE people (me and a full time person), then for 5 months went down to just me (so half a person doing the work of two people!), and we were about to recruit when she got dumped on us (taking us back up to 1.5 FTE). We're now about to recruit the other 0.5 FTE person, so will finally be up to the full amount of people, hopefully they will be nice and reduce the stress a bit!

 

[Dotty_woman]

I work in I.T. Nat and it's all I've ever really done. My wage pays for our mortgage so I can't afford to take too much of a pay cut. I'd love to do something creative that I actually looked forward to getting up for in a morning but I guess not many people have that luxury. At least I've been having a go at making a couple of dresses for Vi with some bright fabrics. It's helped me to appease my creative side a bit. xxx

 

[mrswoody]

Hi ladies,

It sounds as though some of you are having a right old time at work recently.

I'm currently on 3 weeks leave which is totally welcomed, I've been working flat out whilst at work since Easter and some time off couldn't come quick enough. The upside is I'm enjoying some time to myself as I kept Madison in nursery and we are off visiting family mid-week next week.
Once I go back to work I have 3 weeks left then I start maternity leave

I'm already dreading the thought of going back to work full time with 2 kids, full time childcare costs make me feel sick when I even think how much I'll be paying out. but it is only for a year as I plan to hand in my notice when I do return to work so there is light to the financial tunnel I'll be facing for a year.

x

 

[Loula]

Im thinking of doing a medical secretary course for a bit of a change.

 

[flisstebbs]

Sorry to hear some of you having such an awful time. There really is nothing worse than someone disruptive and crap on a team, it brings everyone down.

Dotty, I remember you not liking your work last year too. Sometimes a change is good? Maybe worth getting a cv ready in case something good comes up?

I really enjoy my job and find it hard to get motivated to get in some days, so I can't imagine how hard it is if its not enjoyable when you get there. I just wish this baby of mine would sleep!!!! We had 2 shining weeks of sleeping through about a month ago, just as I had a rotten chest infection and asthma attacks in the night. Now she's going through some kind of sleep regression as she is up every 45mins to 2hours just screaming. One tooth popped up on tues, but there's another to come. Is this the problem?? Who knows eh? She's fine in the day so struggling to understand it. This week I've given up and we've co-slept for 3 nights now and beginning to clear the fog a bit! I know its going to be a bugger to sleep train again, but had to do something.

 

[CARNAT22]

We co-sleep most nights as it's the only way James sleeps through. Was meant to address this last week when I was off (get him back in cot-bed) but of course he was ill

It's really starting to cause an issue as there isn't actually room for all of us anymore and often OH ends up on the sofa, he works like 10 hours a day doing manual labour [he is a decorator] so he is pissed off about the situation.

So in a nutshell, nip it in the bud fliss

X

 

[flisstebbs]

Trying to Nat! If all else fails then I'll have to go for it the week after next as I have AL then. Might even be able to get my mum up for some help too in the day so I can sleep off the bad nights with "being firm" again. Last time we did it, she responded really quickly. She has very busy days, so she is tired by the evenings.

Few people have told me to try and reduce her daytime naps a bit. She takes 2 naps and gets 2-3 hours in the day in total. I'm reluctant because she's much happier for getting decent naps, and I've read a few things about "sleep breeding sleep" and not letting them get overtired for night?

Also the nursery policy is to let them sleep as long as they want to and not disturb them, so I'd only be able to reduce her sleep the days she's with me.

 

[flisstebbs]

Well I kicked off a week of leave by getting food poisoning from my fri lunchtime sandwich. Managed to crawl to my parents place and just woken up after 14 hours sleep

I think yesterday was my lowest point, feeling so much better now and have the rest of the week to look forward to.

This weeks mission is to get this baby sleeping in her cot every night!

 

[CARNAT22]

Oh dear fliss, it's bloody typical hey?

At least you're feeling a bit better now.

Been working on the whole cot thing ourselves but I am so lazy and end up just doing what is easiest for us all to get some sleep.... Back to the drawing board for me.

Have had a rethink about my maternity leave, was considering going to rest of the year with just 3 days leave , it just wont be doable. So I am going to take a week off in November too!

X

 

[flisstebbs]

Silver lining is I've lost some weight Nat!

Yeah, I think a week off will be highly due for you by Nov!

I'm being a terrible mummy and still putting Jess in nursery tomorrow and going to probably sleep all day. Then on Thurs, we've swapped the nursery day so DH and I can have a day of being grown ups and go for lunch and cinema!

We had cot stand-off for 2.5 hours from 1am this morning, but I held firm and just kept patting her and eventually she gave up. I win this round..... Its definitely easier when you don't have to do a long day the next day, resolve is stronger