why don't people mind there own flammin business!

[Sammystar]

Hello Ladies

Just thought I'd add my story as it's such a big issue for me just now
I BF'd daughter no. 1 for 16 weeks. It was total hell. I was in so much pain with cracked nipples that every time she got hungry I was a nervous wreck. I think I managed to stick it out for so long because she was my only baby and I just soldiered on through. When I weaned her at four months it was like a fog cleared from my life. Suddenly I got to know my daughter and we bonded properly for the first time.
I was determined to BF with daughter no. 2 but right from the start we had the same issues with the nipples. To add insult to injury we both got thrush, so my midwife advised me to pump. Once I'd started this we never went back to the breast. I stuck this out for ten weeks. We live in Switzerland where they are VERY pro BF-ing. I got lots of suuport but one time when I took Aimèe to the docs and he saw me giving her a bottle he had the cheek to tell me she was too fat because 'bottle fed babies gain weight quicker'. I was so shocked I didn't even bother to explain it was breast milk in the bottle!
When I got pg with Sam last year I read 'Breast is Best' from cover to cover TWICE! I was so determined to do it this time. I so wanted to experience the nice side of BF-ing.
The first couple of days were OK but by day three my nipples were open and I was in agony. My nipples are really big ( ) so Sam had trouble latching on with his tiny mouth. I kept going though, determined to succeed. By week two we both had a hefty dose of thrush and I was in so much pain I couldn't even hold my baby. I was crying all the time and had no energy or time for my two little girls. My doctor eventually advised me to stop. I was TOTALLY gutted. My last baby and I can't seem to feed him.
However, I have to say that since I've stopped life in our house has improved tenfold. It wasn't just me who was suffering, it was Sam, my two little girls, and my OH. I so respect all women who persevere through the pain and make it work, I just couldn't.
I also greatly admire all the ladies who bottle feed. It is so true that a happy mummy = happy baby.... AND happy family!!

I'm already getting the odd negative comment when people over here see me with the bottle, but I know in my heart I did the right thing. No point continuing with something that makes you totally miserable just because of outside pressure.

Sorry for such a long winded post!

Respect to all the mums on this board.... Bottle or breast, YOUR WAY is best!

 

[Bagpuss17]

It's such a controversial subject to breastfeed or not.

Everybody's experiences are different and the support you get for breastfeeding/bottle feeding varies according to where you live which is rubbish.

What's right for one person isn't right for another and all that should matter is that baby is getting fed.

We're all doing a great job, the best we can as mums.

I didn't succeed at breastfeeding but I no longer feel any hang ups about it because I've got a healthy, contented baby that's all that should matter.

 

[Lucy]

Bagpuss - yes it is a very sensitive subject and when most people are suffering the problems breastfeeding it's usually in the early days when the mums are still recovering from childbirth and the baby is waking so often for feeds (bottle or breast) that they're exhausted as well.

Sometimes I feel that people try to play down the benefits of breastmilk and that's where I feel the need to point out the facts of breastfeeding. It's not to make formula feeding mums feel crap it's to hopefully make more people aware and balance the discussion

Tasha - after about 16/17 wks I found the feeding a lot easier, I don't think feeding is linked to sleep as my niece is 14 wks old and breastfed and has slept through since 2 wks old!

Lucy

 

[Tasha20]

Thanks for getting back to me, lol 2 weeks thats great lucky cow

Well shes going thru a majour growth spurt and has done all week, shes skipped a set of clothes Shes gone from around 10lb clothes to 14lb clothes in 2 weeks

 

[Melanie]

I've heard all sorts of crap since i started breastfeeding Thea. I'm the only person in my family who BF's and I've got a big family, so BFing makes me a freak! I've had comments that range from "Huh bet you think your so much better than us dont you" to "You know if you dont wean her soon you'll give her issues when shes older!"
I had a British woman ask me to feed my baby in the loo at Budapest airport, I was asked to leave a cafe in England ( i was at the back of the cafe with no one watching and Thea was covered with a blanket - if the woman hadn't come to clean the table next to us she would never have known). I've lost count of the amount of people who told me i need to start weaning Thea off the breast now! I'm betting no one who bottle feeds has been given lectures on taking the bottle away at 5 months! Richards stupid mother more or less accused me of sexual abuse!

I'm proud that i BF my baby, and frankly I'm bloody sick of feeling like i should apologise for that. I'm giving my baby the best start that i can give her and i worked damn hard at the beginning to be able to do so. I had to do all my research myself, i had no help in getting Thea to latch on, help with cracked nipples, thrush, mastitis because the BFing nurses didn't speak any English at all. I have a happy, healthy wonderful baby who has slept all the way through the night since she was just a couple of weeks old. I dont see why i should play down my achievement because some people dont manage the same.

I'd apologise for the rant but I'm not sorry so I wont!

 

[Lucy]

Melanie - I agree, you shouldn't apologise for your achievements, good on you.

Tasha - have you had any more comments since your post or have the replies helped at all?

 

[Sammystar]

I had a British woman ask me to feed my baby in the loo at Budapest airport, I was asked to leave a cafe in England ( i was at the back of the cafe with no one watching and Thea was covered with a blanket - if the woman hadn't come to clean the table next to us she would never have known). I've lost count of the amount of people who told me i need to start weaning Thea off the breast now! I'm betting no one who bottle feeds has been given lectures on taking the bottle away at 5 months! Richards stupid mother more or less accused me of sexual abuse!

Totally amazing!! Where do people get this attitude from?? As somebody said earlier it must be a lack of education about breast feeding. How anybody could insinuate anything sexual about BF-ing is so totally beyond me!!
These people should get a life!

Makes me soooo mad!

 

[Tasha20]

Melanie - I agree, you shouldn't apologise for your achievements, good on you.

Tasha - have you had any more comments since your post or have the replies helped at all?

Me too Mel you have done a fab job and as for the sexual abuss and asked to leave in the cafe, its damn right disgusting, you can bottle feed in public and not told to leave, but you do the most natural thing in the world and get asked to leave, and get acussed of sexual abuse its just wrong.

Lucy yes this post has definatly helped me and has made me want to breastfeed for as long as I can, its the best for her and im damn proud of myself and like others I will show im proud!

Thank you everyone for your fantastic replies and Mel I just have to say again what a wounderfull achievment, going thru all that and comming out the other side with a beautiful heathy girl ! you should be sooo proud

 

[Melanie]

Thanks Tasha I didnt mean to hijack your thread lol its just this makes me so mad!
Maybe we should start a club, Boobie Mammas unite

 

[Icecream]

I breastfeed too, but haven't been anywhere too public yet (only where I've known the people, or not been out long enough), but someone did tell me to "get her on the bottle" just because she fed one night for four hours. She was only a few days old at the time. it was teatime too, and I also hadn't fed her enough the previous days. People don't have a clue.

As for the sexual abuse thing. When you breastfeed you know how natural it is. People shouldn't be quick to judge us, but I want to point out that we shouldn't be too quick to judge those comments either. To someone who has been sexually abused, nakedness, and the thought of people touching you can be very difficult things to deal with. I myself went through it, and was terrified of giving birth with people in the room, and even had some thoughts about breastfeeding a baby at a few months old (or in public). In the end everything came naturally to me at the birth and I am feeling much more comfortable about feeding when Katie is older now too. I have no problems in public either, however, I would not have known before having Katie.

 

[Tasha20]

Thanks Tasha I didnt mean to hijack your thread lol its just this makes me so mad!
Maybe we should start a club, Boobie Mammas unite

Thats absolutly fine and to be honest its the sort of answers I need, what you went thru has made me feel so lucky I have had lots of support from OH's family and OH, and to have gone as far as you have with all those problems it just shows that with abit of sheer hard work you can get there in the end if you really want it

lol Boobie mummas unite sound great

 

[Tasha20]

I breastfeed too, but haven't been anywhere too public yet (only where I've known the people, or not been out long enough), but someone did tell me to "get her on the bottle" just because she fed one night for four hours. She was only a few days old at the time. it was teatime too, and I also hadn't fed her enough the previous days. People don't have a clue.

As for the sexual abuse thing. When you breastfeed you know how natural it is. People shouldn't be quick to judge us, but I want to point out that we shouldn't be too quick to judge those comments either. To someone who has been sexually abused, nakedness, and the thought of people touching you can be very difficult things to deal with. I myself went through it, and was terrified of giving birth with people in the room, and even had some thoughts about breastfeeding a baby at a few months old (or in public). In the end everything came naturally to me at the birth and I am feeling much more comfortable about feeding when Katie is older now too. I have no problems in public either, however, I would not have known before having Katie.

Im very sorry to hear you have been thru something like that its not nice, But I do not understand how anyone could say breastfeeding is sexual abuse its awful that it is compaired to something so horrific, when its the most natural thing in the world to nurture your child lol what do people think they did before formula was around ! live on rain water!

feeding in public was a scary thing for me too but ive done it and now its easy, I dont care what people think or say f**K um !

 

[Freya]

Thanks Tasha I didnt mean to hijack your thread lol its just this makes me so mad!
Maybe we should start a club, Boobie Mammas unite

Thats absolutly fine and to be honest its the sort of answers I need, what you went thru has made me feel so lucky I have had lots of support from OH's family and OH, and to have gone as far as you have with all those problems it just shows that with abit of sheer hard work you can get there in the end if you really want it

lol Boobie mummas unite sound great

Tasha, please think about your reply as sometimes to sensitive me they come across as offensive. When you say with abit of sheer hard work you can get there in the end if you really want it. Are you implying that i didn't want it enough??????? Because it comes across like that.
I am pleased that you were able to overcome your difficulties and applaud yourself and other bf mums for all the hard work you do. However, please do not assume that I didn't try as hard as you. TO me it is like saying people cannot conceive because they don't want it enough. How offensive is THAT!!!

 

[Melly+2]

i dont think she was trying to offend anyone freya,

 

[Tasha20]

Thanks Tasha I didnt mean to hijack your thread lol its just this makes me so mad!
Maybe we should start a club, Boobie Mammas unite

Thats absolutly fine and to be honest its the sort of answers I need, what you went thru has made me feel so lucky I have had lots of support from OH's family and OH, and to have gone as far as you have with all those problems it just shows that with abit of sheer hard work you can get there in the end if you really want it

lol Boobie mummas unite sound great

Tasha, please think about your reply as sometimes to sensitive me they come across as offensive. When you say with abit of sheer hard work you can get there in the end if you really want it. Are you implying that i didn't want it enough??????? Because it comes across like that.
I am pleased that you were able to overcome your difficulties and applaud yourself and other bf mums for all the hard work you do. However, please do not assume that I didn't try as hard as you. TO me it is like saying people cannot conceive because they don't want it enough. How offensive is THAT!!!

I knew you were getting at me! near enough every post I have made on this topic youve had bloody something to say about it and quite frankley I think your rather rude, that remark you claim to be offensive was aimed at Mel! saying the hard work SHE has done has got her to a point shes happy, its been hard work for her and I was saying that, can't you read?

But then again youve jumped to the conclusion that im having a pop at you, I dont need this

 

[Minxy]

This will ALWAYS be an emotive subject, but this thread was never intended to be a debate on how easy/difficult it is to feed.

*puts mod hat on* Stay on-thread people! This was always about other people offering unwanted opinions on feeding, and bottle mummies contributed too saying how tough it is battling off other's thoughts no matter what method you choose (or have to choose)

Keep it nice

 

[Sarah&Braydon]

group hug girlies or ill come and give u all a big kiss filled with cold hehehe

 

[Melly+2]

yes please there is no need to make an argument about this, there is nothing wrong with either bottle feeding or breast feeding so why argue about it, we are all loving mummies isnt that enough

 

[Alfiesmummy]

This thread is one that could go on forever and ever and round and round and get absoloutely nowhere! At the end of the day none of us are any better than each other and as Mums we get stick on a day to day basis where are kids are concerned its just such a shame its coming to a point where us mummies divide, and yes we are, some saying breast some saying bottle! In fact who really gives one? Yep you breastfeeding mums work hard and youve achieved it and that is great, then there are the mums who have tried and failed and now bottle feed and they should applaud themselves for at least trying albeit not being able to carry on ... then there are mums like me who have bottle fed from day one and their babies are just as healthy! You know what ... whether its from a carton or a breast your kids are getting fed and as far as im concerned a baby with a full belly is a happy baby ... one is no better than the other and none of us should be attacking other peoples choices ... I say sack the whole bottle feeding is best and breast feeding mummies unite how about saying yeah whatever we do as mums in someones eyes its wrong but as mums we should all stick together, we all have things toi face each day.
Breast feeding mums get negative comments
Biottle feeding mums get niegative comments
people are alwasy there to tell you your not doing things right.
We all get it hard from people and we suck it up and carry on so lets put an end to it, none of us work harder than any other none of us are better mummies than the other and none of us have all the answers!

 

[Tasha20]

For goodness sake all I wanted was some advise and some answers to do with breastfeeding, nothing to do with bottlefeeding, I dont care if somebody bottle feeds! all I want to know are the things that are concerning me and asking the people I know who can answer my questions, why is there such a problem with that!

Theres been bottle feeding threads and you dont get arguments like this on them its rediculus that I cant ask one thing without it going off into a bloody battle of how we feed our children, it wasnt started for that!

and to be honest I dont think its fair