What would you do??

[pinkyprincess]

I think u need to make sacrifices with grandparents and cuddles which you are in fact if we have visitors I keep Tyler up more than normal to have cuddles BUT I also space the visits out if I can!
Leaving any of your children when your ready with your mum I understand, the first time I leave Tyler I'd like it to be with my mum because she's my mum and not only that she has a 7 and 5 y/o so baby's are fresh in her head. Maybe you should try and explain to your OH that his sister will probs feel the same when she has kids and that the baby will go to her mum and bot the MIL.
I understand why you won't let her go out. I'd worry the same about the ears can u not make a compromise that until your happy she won't do that then you won't let her take her on her own? Then you can drag it out until your ready by saying you don't trust her?

 

[lewisca]

Oh Hun ! Sorry Scott isn't supporting u more. Mil's r the pits !! I don't think u r being out of order I would b exactly the same !! I'm even getting nervous bout leaving my 3 with my mum (at mine) for a few hrs while we go for a meal !! Boys will more than likely in bed and Rhea normally feeds bout 8 then goes straight down and self settles too !
My mil always wants Rhea as soon as we arrive and if she is asleep in the car seat I keep her near me till she wakes, otherwise she trys to wake her up.Over Xmas we had both sides of the family round and mil was the first to get her hands on Rhea and was just passing her between their family !! Ignoring mine !! My mum said to me can I have her said yes so she went over and ask mil to pass her over mil said if I must !! Cheeky cow !!!
She always had free rain with my sil kids and used to just walk in and pick them up asleep or not !! I have never allowed this not by me or oh either !! Think some mil need to b reminded they don't actually have any rights !!! Xxx

 

[Jayceesmumma]

Thank u both! I'm glad I'm not being stupid with this!! I've made my point with Scott about his dad waking her and she's held too much but I allow it coz she's their first grandchild.. I've never stopped them holding her if anything I've just put her on mil as she won't do it herself! It's very unfair that she's said that about me I want her to have a bond with lily I really go on with her and I thought everything was okay the way it was!! Clearly I was wrong!! His sister is only 11 so a long time before she has kids and his brother and gf are having trouble concieving so it's gonna be a while for them! The first time I met her she was hassling his gf to have a baby and I thought she just didn't want one but they had been trying for years!! I felt awkward announcing my pregnancy in front of her coz it was only three months after I'd met Scott.. And his mum was like, now u have to hurry up and have one Kim! That's disgusting! I felt so bad for her!! Told Scott I thought that was really harsh and I felt so bad for her and he said its best for her now we are having one so she isn't pressured every day as they live with her!
I'm really worried about when I'm gonna see his family next it's gonna be so awkward I would prefer him to be there the first time but he works 24/7
I hate that she's caused all this and I'm made out to be the bad one to his entire family! I hate that she's purposely pushed my girls out so she can see lily on her own and I hate that it's gonna be so awkward.. He doesn't seem too bothered coz he hasn't gotta go thru this!!
Sorry for ranting all the time but I've got noone else to rant to! He refuses to talk about it anymore and it's really getting to me

 

[lewisca]

Rant away Hun !! I'm sure it will all sort itself but don't blame u for wanting Scott with u the first time u meet up again. All u can do is stick to your guns it's not like u are keeping lily away from them. Try not to let it get to u your only doing what's best for you girls and if mil is honest that's what she wants for lily too. Keep your chin up Hun u have got us lot !!! Xxx

 

[Jayceesmumma]

Thanks babe I'd go insane with out u lot!!
Just asked him what's gonna happen now n she said she doesn't want me dictating to her when she can see her granddaughter and it's too painful for her to just visit her and not have her on her own so she's not gonna see her anymore!!



What a fool!! Scott thinks lily is of age to be taken out by other people and it's good for their development etc which I agree.. But she's too young IMO for that. It's good for her to be held and cared for by others I don't see why I can't be there too?! I don't want him to hate me for his daughter not bonding with his mum.. Grrr I hate her she's gonna put such a strain on our relationship! I've got enough to deal with with financial problems and my evil other ex mil at court in march!!! I really don't need this right now!!

 

[Jayceesmumma]

Makes it harder I have to walk past there on the school run she lives right opposite the schools!!
I asked Scott who was there when this convo took place, his dad wasn't but brother (who don't wanna get involved) and 11yr old sister was.. She got really upset I'm pissed off she heard it all they don't care about her whatsoever!! His mum has said to me so many times 'I never wanted a girl' with her in earshot!! Awful!!!

 

[Hayley1608]

Thanks babe I'd go insane with out u lot!!
Just asked him what's gonna happen now n she said she doesn't want me dictating to her when she can see her granddaughter and it's too painful for her to just visit her and not have her on her own so she's not gonna see her anymore!!

That's disgusting. I know it's really hurtful and hard for you but this sounds just like my MIL and in the end we decided that although we wanted savannah to have a relationship with her, it was probably best that she didnt considering the type of person that she is. She said basically the same as what your MIL said and we haven't seen her since. In the long run savannah wont miss out. And neither will lilly... you MIL clearly doesn't have her best interests at heart.

I'd show OH this thread lol.

xxx

 

[Jayceesmumma]

Thanks babe! I don't think I could show him I've been saying some nasty stuff about her even though it's all true lol!! Gotta be hard for him I hope he doesn't hold it against me
It's so sad when mils get like that I just don't get it! I'd ask her every morning if she wanted to see lily before I made any plans I don't know what else I could have done!!!

 

[Hayley1608]

Just know that you've tried your best. It's like you said what more could you have done? Nothing!

If she wants to be silly and immature i'm sure lilly wont miss out on anything from her in the long run!

x

 

[Jayceesmumma]

I wish everyone would think I've done my best what kind of immature twat says something like that??!!

 

[pringle88]

bloody hell your going through a right shit time arent you

i cannot see this womans point AT ALL!!! thing is, if you would easily hand Lily over without any concerns you would prob be in the wrong for not caring enough. sounds like you cant do right for doing wrong hun!

hope it all sorts itself out soon, cant imagine its nice for you and scott xxx

 

[Jayceesmumma]

Thanks babe! It annoys me how everyone licks her arse coz she throws paddys and they don't wanna upset her so I'm getting full blame for it!! They aren't allowed their own opinion they all say 'I'm not getting involved' apart from her sister of course.. Twins.. Who needs two like that??!! It's really put me and Scott on the edge of destruction! I respect she's his mum but we are his family now his main priority! Just want him to man up and tell them all to just do one and leave us alone!!!

 

[Jayceesmumma]

Oh and another point.. Her 11yr old has far too many sweets and fizzy drinks etc she's had fillings etc and her teeth are rotten! Even she's allowed to swear like they do!! When his cousin was a baby his mum said that she used to cry alot.. So she would put her in her pushchair outside at end of the garden and shut the door.. She's told me this story many times even in front of her sister and she said 'yeah she did' as if it was no big deal.. I'd be furious if my sister done that!
The moment lily cries (which isn't often) she's handed back to me with a 'don't want a crying baby!' I know it's probably a joke but I can't help the image of my baby screaming at the end of the garden!!! I've raised all these points with Scott and he just shrugs them off!

Why can't any of them see what you all see??!! I have to keep posting about it coz it gets it off my chest and stops me going nuts at her.. Plus I need honesty and unbiased opinions on it all!! I'm being made out to be selfish and the bitch.. And I start believing it like, is it all me and I'm not seeing it??!!

 

[Sarah13]

No wonder you don't want to leave her in charge of Lily. That's terrible about leaving her niece to cry at the end of the garden. Babies cry for a reason its their only means of communication. I wouldn't leave Kynon with anyone who would leave him to cry.

Sent from my GT-I9100 using Tapatalk

 

[Jayceesmumma]

Exactly! It's awful! None of them hold her properly either!!! Why should I be expected to hand my baby over?? I know I'm gonna get his dad trying to make peace by attempting to get me to let her have her.. No chance! I'm not a bad person. I know that! But that's how she's made me out to be to his entire family!!! I've had to tell my sister coz of Facebook but I've not told anyone else! Didn't want to coz I knew they'd go nuts!
Fucking hate all this!!!!!!!!

 

[star fish]

My MIL says i should leave the baby to cry and that I'm "creating a rod for my own back", I said very sweetly "If you were my mother I would tell you to shut up". She took the hint....

 

[Jayceesmumma]

Lmao!!! Mil would hit me if I said that!! She's the type that gets banned from school for fighting with the mothers!!! (at least two times I know of!)
I think babies shouldn't be given attention immediately but a min is enough.. Not shoving them at the end of the garden n shutting the door!!

 

[lewisca]

I've left Rhea to cry for couple of mins when we have tried to get her back to self settling when she goes to bed but I was stood outside her door !! Babies this age cry of a reason ! When they get bigger and cry in a paddy I do walk away for few mins !!! Xx

 

[Jayceesmumma]

Oh yea the older they get the longer their left lol! It helps to step out the room and calm down n start fresh I wouldn't leave a baby to cry for longer than a min tho.. A minute is a long time for them.. I'll talk to her first and stroke her cheek n that and if she really gets upset I'll pick her up.. She's poorly ATM so wanting extra cuddles.. First time I've held her to sleep besides feeding! Poor bubba

 

[lewisca]

Oh bless her !! I've got Rhea cradled in my arms too !! Since we got home she hasn't been happy . Poor Lily she isn't getting a break from being poorly !! Xx