What would you do??

[Jayceesmumma]

I don't know anyone as pathetic as this!! Proper 'mum can't let go of son' situation.. She don't want him to have a family by the looks of it!!

The crayons that stupid meaningless row!!! Wasn't even worth the arguement!!! My main prob was Scott refused to believe Jaycee.. Even after Sophie admitted lying! That was my point.. I couldn't give a shit about the crayons lol they didn't draw on the walls or anything lol!!
It's all an excuse to argue and get lily away from us! No chance!!

 

[Jayceesmumma]

Scott said hes gonna go there after work. I know how it's gonna go.. I'll be the bitch and he will come sort me out.. Then we will row big time. If he takes her side on this we have major problems!!!!

 

[l_maclean]

Wow. Sorry you're having to go through this.

Sounds a bit like Scott's getting stuck in the middle and doesn't know what to do. I think you and him need to sit down and sort out what you both think is acceptable.

Personally I'd try let the thing with jaycee drop - yeah he really should apologise, but dragging it outs not helping anyone.

Is lily the first grandchild for his folks?? I'd maybe try explaining to him that you understand their excited, but if he's taking on ur girls, they need to realise the 3 of them come together.

Xxx

 

[Sarah13]

You would think she would realise that the more arguments and fall outs there are the chances of her looking after Lily in the future are reduced as you will trust her less and less! There are very few mums who I know who want to leave thier babies so young, nobody has looked after Kynon yet other than me and hubby for the odd hour! You stick to your guns!

Just curious, (sorry if I'm being nosey) but do your girls see thier dad or his family at all? Cos if they do maybe that could be when Lily sees her granny as Lily wouldn't be seeing them (with you obviously while she's so little). My cousin has this problem at times with her daughters as they have different dads two who's family see them and one who's doesn't, must be confusing for little children at times.

 

[Jayceesmumma]

Wow. Sorry you're having to go through this.

Sounds a bit like Scott's getting stuck in the middle and doesn't know what to do. I think you and him need to sit down and sort out what you both think is acceptable.

Personally I'd try let the thing with jaycee drop - yeah he really should apologise, but dragging it outs not helping anyone.

Is lily the first grandchild for his folks?? I'd maybe try explaining to him that you understand their excited, but if he's taking on ur girls, they need to realise the 3 of them come together.

Xxx

Yeah it's their first and I've explained it to them and him
The crayon thing has dropped just thats what stopped Sophie coming over and she's using it as an excuse to get lily over on Sunday alone..

 

[Jayceesmumma]

You would think she would realise that the more arguments and fall outs there are the chances of her looking after Lily in the future are reduced as you will trust her less and less! There are very few mums who I know who want to leave thier babies so young, nobody has looked after Kynon yet other than me and hubby for the odd hour! You stick to your guns!

Just curious, (sorry if I'm being nosey) but do your girls see thier dad or his family at all? Cos if they do maybe that could be when Lily sees her granny as Lily wouldn't be seeing them (with you obviously while she's so little). My cousin has this problem at times with her daughters as they have different dads two who's family see them and one who's doesn't, must be confusing for little children at times.

She seems to think babies are left with family from birth!!
Ur not being nosy it's fine no they don't see their dad Ellie doesn't know who he is he left when she was 4weeks old.. Has no interest in seeing them he's psychotic and just wanted me his mum is causing major probs for me and we have court on 16th march.. She's lied about alot of things including disgusting accusations about Scott all coz she's befriended their dads wife who threatened to kill my girls.. Lovely girl she is!! So she's made shit up to get unsupervised contact.. She's never had them on her own and she never will. Evil woman!
But that's another story lol!!
The girls dad's dad is with my mum so they see him an his side of the family.. He accepts lily as his grandchild.. So why can't they accept my girls??

It's very confusing for them I never wanted this for them just want a 'normal' family for my girls why is it so hard???

 

[Jayceesmumma]

(everything was fine with her til she got friendly with his wife, they saw her a couple of times a month, me contacting her for visits)

 

[pinkyprincess]

OK this is my opinion:

The girls and you (as Lilys mum) come as a package... they are Lilys sisters so they cannot just be outcast? thats out of order!!

I feel awful for you having to be in this situation...it's never nice when you're stuck in a situation like this..

I personally would say, they can come to the house to see her, if they dont like the fact the girls aare there then dont come!! Simple!!!

And my mates baby was tongue tied and he had the cut as he was Bottle fed and having difficulty!!

Same as BF dont let anyone bully you into a choice!! Its your choice however you decide to feed lily hun

Big hugs xxxx

Really really agree with this!

About her being Lillys nan and being able to take her out, yes she has a point but not a BABY! the first person who looks after my boy will be MY mum as I'd feel more comfortable and if that's what you want to do she should respect that. Also maybe make it clear that the first few times she takes her maybe Scott should go with her for 'support' at least then she can see how you expect her to parent and that should only be when your ready.

 

[Jayceesmumma]

Thanks Hun I've made a poll asking what age u all think is right and gonna show Scott later coz all he knows is what his mum has said and thinks its ok for a few weeks old its not ok in my eyes..
He works 7 days a week and only gets a few hours on a Sunday to spend with us the kids are in. Ed when he gets home every day his family at home is more important now imo.. Yet they expect to see him for most his free time on his own so if he gets off work early he will go see them then be late for us if I let her take her guaranteed she will get her ears pierced or do things we won't allow.. She had a go at me for not getting Lily's done when I got the girls done at Xmas saying I should treat them fairly.. She was only a few weeks old!! Scott would go mad if I did that without asking him and she said 'well if u do it he can't do anything about it coz it will be done' its attitudes like that that makes me not trust her to follow rules! She said to put her on food at 3 weeks old! No way!
he wouldnt be able to accompany her when out.. She hasn't even wanted to come with us into town.. Just me her n baby while kids are at school she just wants her on her own there's no compromise!!

 

[lewisca]

No way I would get Rhea's ears pieced yet !!! Maybe when she is 4 !! My sister got her daughters done early but it's just something I don't agree with. Think I child should b able to ask for it to b done.
Phill is trying to get me to agree to his mum and dad to watch the kids so he can take me out for my birthday next week ( my mum is being a pain have asked her but she hasn't given me an answer !!) he has even gone as far to say that we won't go out till they r all in bed but still don't like the idea !!! Just don't trust her !! Xx

 

[Cupcake78]

Hey hon, so sorry you are going through all this. I can't imagine how hard it must be, I am stressed enough just with my wee one and one set of grandparents! I have it easy!
My advice is to try and take a step back, I know its hard and families can be the worst things in the world at times. Concentrate on your beautiful girls and let the petty squabbles go on without you. You are the mother, you have the last say on who sees who, where and when. If you are not comfortable with it, it doesn't happen. You should be super proud of yourself for breastfeeding for so long. I did it for two days and had to give in as I was so exhausted and sore after the forceps birth. Its your choice and you are giving your wee one the best start in life. Why the hell should you stop just so that woman can play granny for a while? No way. And the tongue tie thing? It was definitely the best decision to have it done now while she is still a baby. I didn't realise how it had affected me until the dentist burned it away for me when I was about 10. It had annoyed me all my life!
Scott is young bless him and it is all new to him as you say. All you can do is try to make him see that the best thing is for him to try and take a step back as well so he can see it from your point of vew. He doesn't have to please his mother all the time, he is a big boy now and a father, he needs to put his family (which is you and the THREE girls) first. Hope I haven't offended you, just wanted to offer some support! xxx

 

[l_maclean]

Does Scott know about what she said about Lily's ears?? Not to be telling takes, but maybe worth explaining that it's things like that that are making you uncomfy.

Do u have a different time scale for your parents? Just that he might feel that's unfair - in that you trust ur mum but won't accept that he trusts his. (just throwing stuff about a bit here).

Xxx

 

[Jayceesmumma]

Don't blame u babe if u don't feel comfortable then don't do it you won't have a good time if ur worrying
Happy birthday for then and hope u manage to get a decent night out!!

 

[Jayceesmumma]

Does Scott know about what she said about Lily's ears?? Not to be telling takes, but maybe worth explaining that it's things like that that are making you uncomfy.

Do u have a different time scale for your parents? Just that he might feel that's unfair - in that you trust ur mum but won't accept that he trusts his. (just throwing stuff about a bit here).

Xxx

He knows.. He's knows that's what she's like it didn't shock him!

My mums. Had my girls in the afternoon at her house overnight til the morning only when they were 6 and 3.. Other than that I put them to bed there, go out for the eve and sleep there and get up for them in the morning.. Jaycee used to go with my step dad to sainsburys when she was 2.. But that was just for like bread and milk.. And that's it! I'd leave them at my mums if I had a 'personal' dr app at the end of the rd but no longer than half hr.. And they were about 1 and 4 then..
She has said when she was a couple of weeks old I'm not letting her be the nanny she thought she would be like her mum was.. Talk about guilting me!! That will make it worse!! Can't pressure someone into letting their kids go with u no matter who u are!! My sister wouldn't let me take Jamie out for the day to give her a break when I was the only one she would go to without screaming besides her!! Totally understood!! I took her for a walk in pushchair while she was working at home (hairdresser) for an hour while the kids were at school.. And asked her how far would she feel comfortable with me walking her as I was getting bored walking round the block trying to settle her lol!! I'd never just walk her off to town without asking as I'd expect the same respect.
Maybe I'm too clingy to my kids I don't know but I'm not gonna do something I'm not comfortable with and I'm certainly not gonna be pressured into it!!

 

[Jayceesmumma]

Hey hon, so sorry you are going through all this. I can't imagine how hard it must be, I am stressed enough just with my wee one and one set of grandparents! I have it easy!
My advice is to try and take a step back, I know its hard and families can be the worst things in the world at times. Concentrate on your beautiful girls and let the petty squabbles go on without you. You are the mother, you have the last say on who sees who, where and when. If you are not comfortable with it, it doesn't happen. You should be super proud of yourself for breastfeeding for so long. I did it for two days and had to give in as I was so exhausted and sore after the forceps birth. Its your choice and you are giving your wee one the best start in life. Why the hell should you stop just so that woman can play granny for a while? No way. And the tongue tie thing? It was definitely the best decision to have it done now while she is still a baby. I didn't realise how it had affected me until the dentist burned it away for me when I was about 10. It had annoyed me all my life!
Scott is young bless him and it is all new to him as you say. All you can do is try to make him see that the best thing is for him to try and take a step back as well so he can see it from your point of vew. He doesn't have to please his mother all the time, he is a big boy now and a father, he needs to put his family (which is you and the THREE girls) first. Hope I haven't offended you, just wanted to offer some support! xxx

Thank u, there was nothing offencive in that at all hun thank u! Totally my point of view too! He's trying to keep everyone happy but that can't be done!! Needs to man up and make an opinion of his own! I guarantee he won't put her straight when he goes there after work he will tell her what she wants to hear 'I'll make my bad bad gf see the error of her ways' grrr!! I know he won't stand up for me against her I get where he's coming from.. Being in the middle.. But he needs to grow some big hairy man balls!!!

 

[l_maclean]

sorry - I didnt mean that you should feel pressured into it, just when you said about showing scott the pole - i wondered if the fact that it was his mum vs yours was making the difference. sorry if im not explaining that very well.

xxx

 

[Jayceesmumma]

I'm defo glad I got her tongue cut and so happy to be bf after failing twice with my older two.. I hate that she's killing this amazing experience for me! I've got enough crap on my plate ATM financial and the other mil related crap I just want to enjoy my baby girl and concentrate on getting her weight back up.. She had a crap feed last two feels coz I'm so upset I'm not letting her win!!!

 

[Jayceesmumma]

sorry - I didnt mean that you should feel pressured into it, just when you said about showing scott the pole - i wondered if the fact that it was his mum vs yours was making the difference. sorry if im not explaining that very well.

xxx

No its fine I understood what u were saying! she's defo pressuring me into it with me not letting her be a nanny crap and these tantrums she's throwing! The poll was coz he knows no different to what his mum says.. Babies should be left with friends and family from birth.. He said a few weeks old is ok but I don't agree, he thinks it's just me being me but I wanted to show that others feel the same as I do

 

[l_maclean]

xxx

 

[lewisca]

Thanks hun only going to go for a meal but will b nice to spend some time with hubby on our own but like u said wont feel comfortable of its mil looking after them hoping my mum comes through for me !! Xxx