What would you do??

[Jayceesmumma]

Fx she does!! It's the little things that mean the most I'd love to go for a meal with OH hope u have a great time and ur mum can babysit!!xxx

 

[Hayley1608]

God what a cow!

What right does she have to try to tell you what to do regarding the breastfeeding? I didn't breastfeed but i imagine it can be hard at times and everyone around you should be supporting you to continue not trying to de rail you completley! She's just selfish for expecting you to put lilly on the bottle just because she wants to have her. Which by the way she is acting i would never let happen! She clearly doesn't care about what best for your daughter as long as she thinks she is right. I'm sure having her tongue done (sorry not sure of the correct term lol) was a really difficult decision for you to make and everybody should be behind you 1000 percent not trying to make you feel guilty about doing what in the long run will be best for your daughter.

As for the girls i agree that all 3 should come as a package. It is so unfair to leave the girls out just because she says so! And how dare she say "they aren't my grandchildren!" She should understand that your family is one unit... Not separate ones that she can pick and choose from.

Sounds a lot like my MIL. We haven't even spoken to her for a month..

Hope your ok I'd be fuming.

xx

 

[Hayley1608]

And about the ears pierced thing... This is the biggest example of unneccesary pain for a baby i've ever heard.

 

[Jayceesmumma]

Thank u so much hun! Really helps to hear I'm not the one being a bitch coz that's how she's made me out and Scott was really pissed off with me and said I should just invite her over etc etc and I did try to diffuse the arguement but she just got worse n was like hope ur happy and now u can be a happy family and I won't bother u or Scott anymore just don't stop anyone else in my family seeing her etc etc like a spoilt jealous brat! Really angers me that Scott thinks I'm being the same as her!!
Yes exactly unnecessary pain!! I felt like I had to explain myself to her when I said I was getting it done!! I shouldn't have to feel like this about decisions I make about my daughter!!

I'm glad noone thinks I should split them up coz I refuse to do that and anyone who does expect me to do that cant give two shits about my girls! They've already been outcast coz they aren't allowed there anymore how bad would it be for him to take lily there alone!! Awful selfish woman!!! So upsetting I thought she liked us clearly that was all fake!!!

 

[Jayceesmumma]

Scott is gonna come home n be like 'well that's the way she is' and expect me to just accept it, forget it and act as if nothing has happened! I'm not letting her speak to me like that I don't give a shit if 'that's the way she is'.. If she keeps getting away with it she will keep doing it!! Like a child!!
Sorry for all my ranting and swearing I'm just so angry and upset, thank you all so much for taking the time to read thru my first post and replying so kindly and honestly I really appreciate it! I dont know what I'd do without you all!!

 

[pinkyprincess]

I do think earrings on babies look terrible and if Tyler was a girl and someone did it, I'd take them out!

I do think I'd be more comfortable leaving him with my mum and I think most women would as a baby is your flesh and blood as is your mum iykwim you mil and Scott need to understand that women have hormones to make them feel this way. Has she got any other grandkids?

 

[Jayceesmumma]

No she's her first, she's been waiting for ages bugging her older sons gf for seven yrs.. She has pcos and they've have been struggling to conceive its harsh the pressure she's put on her!!

She got Sophie's done at 3weeks old! I don't trust her to do what we would want even if she was 2yrs old! She asked for the baby overnight when I was 8 weeks preg I still can't get over that!! I was with OH just three months when we fell pg so I don't even know him that well let alone her!!
She's caused a huge row coz she can't have her on her own.. It's pathetic!! And wrong!! Still so angry.. My head is pounding.. I have hormone problems and a bit of stress can give me a raging migraine Lilys not been happy all day since this started

 

[pringle88]

I completely agree with everything the girls have said!! She sounds like a right pain in the arse!!! I wouldn't ever let Ella go with dans mum for an hour let alone a day! Lily is your baby and Jaycee and ellies sister it is no way fair to make them feel like they aren't wanted! Thats awful, she should appreciate that Scott loves you and u come with a family.... Lily will be used to hearing her sisters and you an to take her away from that and give her to somebody who doesn't know her inside out isn't right if it's not something you feel comfortable doing. You aren't in the wrong at all!!! Good luck with her, sounds like you need it Hun xx

 

[Rachaellius]

What a cow! You're defo in the right here she sounds like a very selfish woman and obviously only has her own best interests at heart! Formula feeding Lilly so she can have her on her own isn't in Lilly's best interests, it's a mother's decision and no one else's, whichever decision you make on how to feed your child should be fully supported.
As for her pushing your girls out, that's just horrible, poor Jaycee and Ellie, it would be totally unfair for them to not be involved too, she needs to accept you and all three of your girls as a package or not at all.
I really hope your OH supports you on this too and that everything has gone okay this evening xx

 

[prettypenguin]

Haven't read all the replies as I'm.in bed tired. I don't agree with splitting kids up, similar thing happened with me and.my siblings and we resented the adults involved/ each other. You come as a package! And how dare she go on at you for breastfeeding, I wish I had done it and I'm in awe/proud of anyone who does it! Mils are so annoying, think they know we can't really have a go as its ohs mum and not yours n they seem to use that to their advantage end of the day you're Lilys mum, noone else is, whatever you say goes, end of xxx

 

[marley]

Hey Jaycee

Hope your ok? Xx


Did you manage to sort things out x

 

[Jayceesmumma]

Well we ignored each other all night and said little when needed to wish he went to his mums n sorted this crap out. He said he's gonna do that tonight.. I hate all this and it's tearing Scott apart I don't care if this is the way his mum is she shouldn't be allowed to get away with talking to me like that!! Still so upset and angry and yeah ur right, they know we can't have a go coz we are stuck with this woman for the rest of our lives!! She's playing the victim saying its made her ill and 'I only wanted to be a nanny' GRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Hope81]

God I am glad my mil is in Canada lol. Though I wouldn't take any of that crap. I can be as bitch as she is. You are her mom and they are your rules...
Thanks god my mil is actually a nice person.

 

[Jayceesmumma]

I feel I can't b mean to her coz Scott will get upset and I care about our relationship more than her!
She even kept a message I sent her after the crayon row when I was upset and angry, saying I'll get lily on formula and let Scott take her to them.. Anger at him and anger at them coz I knew that's what they wanted.. She's got a shitty old phone that stores hardly any messages so she's blatantly gone out of her way to save this text!! Vindictive??! Yes, I shouldn't have said it out of anger.. But no need to use it against me like that! I said it coz I felt I was being pushed to give her a bottle so they could take her!! And I was bloody right!!! Straight after the crayon row she said she spoke to Steve (his dad) and they agreed it was for the best they see lily on their own.. I didn't click they meant Scott take her round etc I thought they meant I pop in while kids at school or vice versa! It wasn't til she said it again yesterday.. So my kids get outcasted as well as me all for that stupid row? Any excuse to try and get her alone! Hell no!! If she was a normal mil and earned my respect and I felt she would care for lily as we want.. I'd consider it in a few months... No way now!!

 

[Bunnykins]

Gahhhh this woman has seriously pissed me off and that is just from reading your posts I don't even know her and I want to tell her to growup and f off lol!!!
She keeps going on about only wanting to be a nan, well from what I can see she hasn't got a clue about what a nan should be!! She thinks being a nan is having lo on her own, sorry but that's being a mum not a nan! Mums are the ones who have their lo on their own!!! being a nan is wanting the best for baby and loving and spoiling them however that maybe, she can be a good nan by simply enjoying the visits she gets with lo supervised or not, and by supporting you to help make sure lo is happy, so that doesn't include telling you to ff!!! Still can't believe she says your selfish to cut her tongue to bf when she wants lo ff just so she can take her out, does she not see the irony!!! My nan was great I loved the bones of her but we only ever visited with my mum and dad, never made a difference to my love for her that she didn't have us on her own I just knew she gave great cuddles and had a stash of sweets in her garage!! Found out when I was older after she had died that she was a nightmare and my mum had an awful childhood etc so that is why we only visited when mum & dad were with us. She was and still is my fave nan tho just for those magic secret sweets!!!

Stick to your guns, you feed lily how you want, she should be welcoming all the girls not cherry picking blood relatives that is not how step families work, and she can be a nan without taking lily on her own unsupervised xxxx

 

[Jayceesmumma]

Thank you Hun! I'm so tempted to show scott all these posts!! To prove its not me at all!!!!
She didn't say directly that I was selfish to cut her tongue, she made me feel like it and gave the impression with little comments and stuff.. It was blatantly what she was thinking tho!

I'm so angry at this woman still! U are spot on being a nan isn't having them on ur own!!! Thank you!!!!

So glad I'm not the only one thinking all this!!

 

[Hayley1608]

Did he go to sort it out tonight hun?

I know you said you wish scott would support you over her and believe me if she keeps digging at you this will eventually happen.

we dont talk to my MIL anymore because of the way shes made me feel in the past. I put a thread on here about how she told everyone in the family i had PND when savannah was born and i didn't... But even if i did so what?! It's something that happens to people and she told EVERYONE about it. She even tried to convince me herself. When i was pregnant she refused to not smoke around me and said if i didn't like it i could go and stand outside (This was on my birthday) and has repeatedly been horrible about my parenting decisions and my mum because i let my mum look after savannah once every couple of months and not her. But she is an alcoholic and generally just a psycho. She has never been a mother to her children and has even told everyone that DH's brother has autism... I lived with somebody with autism for 15 years so this really pissed me off that she was trying to use the condition almost as an insult. I said that her children didn't have learning difficulties, If they are troubled its because she neglected them.

Sorry i know this thread isnt about me lol just thought i would share to get across the point that after she has done all this DH has said that he never wants to speak to her again because of the way she has treated us. He said to her that she doesn't like it because he has his own family now and he wont let anybody bring us down.

Hope your ok!

xx

 

[pinkyprincess]

How's everything been today JM??

 

[Jayceesmumma]

Feel free to rant away hun it's what this thread is about!!
So sorry to hear all youve been through I'm glad your partner is supporting u 100%!!

Well he saw his mum today.. Came home and told me some bits that really upset me.. Apparently I 'put a guard up' around lily when she's there (and she's not the only one who's notice apparently his nan said too-now she's involved!!) and she feels like she can't even pick her up around me.. Wtf??? I ask her every day if she is free and when she is I always give lily to her or his nan straight away!!! That made me furious as its a blatant lie!!! She said his brothers gf was the first to look after her and that's upset her.. We had a carbon monoxide scare and I had lily in a and e on oxygen for hours coz of it.. I left the kids at his mums while we went home to check it was safe!! It was a faulty alarm in the end and we live less than 2min drive from her house and it was for half hour while she was asleep!! She said I trusted her with my girls while I was in hospital for 5 days 33w preg in Pre term labour an no baby movements.. She took them to school and my mum picked them up.. Point of that arguement???? I had no other choice!! She said I split the kids up when we went out for our birthdays the other week, our first and only night out in months, I took the girls to my mums so she didn't have to deal with them and lily stayed at mine with his mum.. She sleeps 14hrs at night! My mum lives half hour drive away so she couldn't have them both and to the kids it was a treat for them!! They thought I was just at home with lily! It's different of lily is being taken somewhere they want to go but can't!! It's the only time we've done that and it was so she didn't have to deal with the girls too if they woke up!!! Why does she want her on her own so fucking much??!!!! Makes me so angry!!!!! I've asked her to go to town with us and she's busy.. Why can't she be happy with taking lily out with me???
Scott says he can see both points and says lily is at an age where he can be taken out but respects that I'm not comfortable.. Makes me feel like its all my fault!! I never let my mum take Jaycee out on her own at her age!! And she is my own mother and her first grandchild!! He's not supporting me at all!! That hurts the most!! She has her husband and family to bitch about me to who do I have?? He's supposed to support me! Or at least listen to me!! How am I gonna face any of his family now knowing they all think I'm a bitch??!! She's made life so hard now!!
God I'm so angry!!! He will never go against his mother he is a mummys boy! I don't want him to hate her but I'd like him to fight my corner at least!! I do feel for him coz he's stuck in the middle and I totally get that it's upset him but all this shit is aimed at me and he doesn't think it is he thinks I'm just taking it that way!! Please be honest and tell me of I'm being stupid or defensive!!

 

[Jayceesmumma]

I also made my point that she would never be left alone.. She self soothes and is always sleeping, I've caught his dad waking her up so many times and they hold her way too long but I don't say anything!! I don't even cuddle her for long myself!!