MoonBunny
Member
- Joined
- Oct 13, 2010
- Messages
- 10
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To give a little background....
I was in a relationship with a man who has some issues that was not clear in the beginning. At first our relationship was good but then he kept insisting that I do certain things or act a certain way. I did not take it that bad because he was being honest with me. Most of the time was spent having fun and I just kind of kept a positive attitude on our relationship. The only issue I have found is that he was not supportive of anything I do. It always had arguments and I just did not understand why. He argued about the school I attended (I attended for game design and development) too going to E3 in California to be able to talk to professional game designers. It was always fights that made no sense too me.
Well anyway, I discovered I was pregnant and I will admit I did say anything to anyone. I was scared what people would think because my boyfriend at the time was a piece of work. I knew everyone, including my family thought something was not right with him. I could not bare having an abortion, so I opted for adoption. In my heart I felt ready to be a mother but I had some concerns both financially and well, my boyfriend was not emotionally supportive or helpful in anyway.
To take a long story short, my parents found out and asked if I really wanted to keep my child. I honestly said yes because I did. I am 26 years old and I was ready to have a child. I thought my boyfriend would be glad because he always wanted a family before he was 30. Yes, it was little out of order but even with all his emotional issues, he would change knowing he will be a father. In fact, he wanted to keep the child from the beginning but issues came about. Now, that we both had support through my family, I saw no issue with it.
I then latter found out that I was more a long then I was expected to be. I was actually about to be on my last month at the end of July. I was scared but things were working out. My boyfriend was being kind. The day I discovered that my child is a boy, that was when things hit the fan. He did not want a boy... He wanted a girl and even went off on me about how we should put the child up for adoption and it was me or the child.
Now, I was scared to tell my parents because they did so much for both of us and for our son. I did tell them when he finally pushed me to the limit and I broke it off with him because I choose my son over him. Of course he panicked, cried and told me he was sorry hours latter. It was already too late. It took until I gave birth for any apologize to happen.
He was at the hospital to sign the birth certificate and he finally told his mother. His mother was happy and things seem to be working out. Yes, it would be hard that we both were living in separate places but my son needed a good home to live in. He could not stay in a small apartment and neither could I. Most of his stuff like the swing and toys were way too big for the apartment and financial I was better off at home. Plus, I did not trust my boyfriend at the time. He was still a little odd and still had the characteristics of being unsure.
It has been rocky for 2 months now and finally two days ago I ended it. He kept going back and forth. He was playing games and telling people I was keeping him from my son. He blamed me for everything and had said some nasty, horrible things about me. He also wanted nothing to do with our son if I was not in a relationship with him. He barely even spent time with his son. The first time he changed his son he called it gay and that he rather wipe vagina. :/ Yeah, sick!!!
I finally had it with all his cheating and telling me if I don't make it work he was leaving me forever. He kept saying my parents were denying him his rights and going off on me about it. Then he would switch saying I was the one denying him his rights and my mom was allowing it. He kept going back and forth. Telling people lies and just over all making my family in the villain.
I said would you rather have your son have his own room, his own space and a nice house to live in with out feeling the stress we would have living on our own. He does not even make that much and his dad pays his rent. I work full time, have insurance for my son through my insurance but it is still not enough. We would barely make it and he has yet to prove to me he can support emotionally or even help. :/ His apartment has nothing for his son and he has only bought four things of formula, binkies, one toy he can not play with yet and two outfits. That is it. :/ And the formula was forced and through his food stamps. He complained to me about it too.
Even his friend told me he barely puts his son first and has yet to hear anything about his son. She usually has to ask and even then he complained about me. He complained I was not making time for him and that I should go out with him and leave the baby behind.
I finally ended it when he was telling me a letter I sent to his friend about what was happening was uncalled for. He kept bringing them into the equation and I just told the truth. I guess I was looking for someone to sit him down and talk to him. Of course he was dumb and said I lied.
When I ended it, he through me a 100 dollar check at my job and said, "I am finished and that is all you are getting."
Yep! And his family hates me because I don't call them. They act like they are concerned but never once called me. They have my number, my mom and dad's cell number and the house phone. My mom called her to speak to her after a baby shower incident. The father of my son was not invited for his behavior after he said some nasty things about his son. Yeah, he was being a bit of pedo about how he prefers a girl over a boy and how gay it was to wipe his son and he father be a female. Yeah, that was a good reason! But his mother acted like nothing was wrong and she was there!
None of his family thinks he was wrong in anything he did. They act like he is perfect but he emotionally tore me apart. He wanted to work things out but still paid 20 bucks for a dating site (he told me) and kept talking to 16 year old girls. He even got photos of naked girls on his phone, in which he did not hide from me.
Was it the right thing to do to leave him? By the way, he is 28 years old. Yeah... :/
Also, if he decided to sign over his rights, will he still have to pay child support?
I just want to make sure what I did was right. Leaving him was hard because as much as he was a jerk, a part of me remembers happy times with him.
Sorry it is so long!!
I was in a relationship with a man who has some issues that was not clear in the beginning. At first our relationship was good but then he kept insisting that I do certain things or act a certain way. I did not take it that bad because he was being honest with me. Most of the time was spent having fun and I just kind of kept a positive attitude on our relationship. The only issue I have found is that he was not supportive of anything I do. It always had arguments and I just did not understand why. He argued about the school I attended (I attended for game design and development) too going to E3 in California to be able to talk to professional game designers. It was always fights that made no sense too me.
Well anyway, I discovered I was pregnant and I will admit I did say anything to anyone. I was scared what people would think because my boyfriend at the time was a piece of work. I knew everyone, including my family thought something was not right with him. I could not bare having an abortion, so I opted for adoption. In my heart I felt ready to be a mother but I had some concerns both financially and well, my boyfriend was not emotionally supportive or helpful in anyway.
To take a long story short, my parents found out and asked if I really wanted to keep my child. I honestly said yes because I did. I am 26 years old and I was ready to have a child. I thought my boyfriend would be glad because he always wanted a family before he was 30. Yes, it was little out of order but even with all his emotional issues, he would change knowing he will be a father. In fact, he wanted to keep the child from the beginning but issues came about. Now, that we both had support through my family, I saw no issue with it.
I then latter found out that I was more a long then I was expected to be. I was actually about to be on my last month at the end of July. I was scared but things were working out. My boyfriend was being kind. The day I discovered that my child is a boy, that was when things hit the fan. He did not want a boy... He wanted a girl and even went off on me about how we should put the child up for adoption and it was me or the child.
Now, I was scared to tell my parents because they did so much for both of us and for our son. I did tell them when he finally pushed me to the limit and I broke it off with him because I choose my son over him. Of course he panicked, cried and told me he was sorry hours latter. It was already too late. It took until I gave birth for any apologize to happen.
He was at the hospital to sign the birth certificate and he finally told his mother. His mother was happy and things seem to be working out. Yes, it would be hard that we both were living in separate places but my son needed a good home to live in. He could not stay in a small apartment and neither could I. Most of his stuff like the swing and toys were way too big for the apartment and financial I was better off at home. Plus, I did not trust my boyfriend at the time. He was still a little odd and still had the characteristics of being unsure.
It has been rocky for 2 months now and finally two days ago I ended it. He kept going back and forth. He was playing games and telling people I was keeping him from my son. He blamed me for everything and had said some nasty, horrible things about me. He also wanted nothing to do with our son if I was not in a relationship with him. He barely even spent time with his son. The first time he changed his son he called it gay and that he rather wipe vagina. :/ Yeah, sick!!!
I finally had it with all his cheating and telling me if I don't make it work he was leaving me forever. He kept saying my parents were denying him his rights and going off on me about it. Then he would switch saying I was the one denying him his rights and my mom was allowing it. He kept going back and forth. Telling people lies and just over all making my family in the villain.
I said would you rather have your son have his own room, his own space and a nice house to live in with out feeling the stress we would have living on our own. He does not even make that much and his dad pays his rent. I work full time, have insurance for my son through my insurance but it is still not enough. We would barely make it and he has yet to prove to me he can support emotionally or even help. :/ His apartment has nothing for his son and he has only bought four things of formula, binkies, one toy he can not play with yet and two outfits. That is it. :/ And the formula was forced and through his food stamps. He complained to me about it too.
Even his friend told me he barely puts his son first and has yet to hear anything about his son. She usually has to ask and even then he complained about me. He complained I was not making time for him and that I should go out with him and leave the baby behind.
I finally ended it when he was telling me a letter I sent to his friend about what was happening was uncalled for. He kept bringing them into the equation and I just told the truth. I guess I was looking for someone to sit him down and talk to him. Of course he was dumb and said I lied.
When I ended it, he through me a 100 dollar check at my job and said, "I am finished and that is all you are getting."
Yep! And his family hates me because I don't call them. They act like they are concerned but never once called me. They have my number, my mom and dad's cell number and the house phone. My mom called her to speak to her after a baby shower incident. The father of my son was not invited for his behavior after he said some nasty things about his son. Yeah, he was being a bit of pedo about how he prefers a girl over a boy and how gay it was to wipe his son and he father be a female. Yeah, that was a good reason! But his mother acted like nothing was wrong and she was there!
None of his family thinks he was wrong in anything he did. They act like he is perfect but he emotionally tore me apart. He wanted to work things out but still paid 20 bucks for a dating site (he told me) and kept talking to 16 year old girls. He even got photos of naked girls on his phone, in which he did not hide from me.
Was it the right thing to do to leave him? By the way, he is 28 years old. Yeah... :/
Also, if he decided to sign over his rights, will he still have to pay child support?
I just want to make sure what I did was right. Leaving him was hard because as much as he was a jerk, a part of me remembers happy times with him.
Sorry it is so long!!
