Visitors?

[Doob]

I am too good with him lol...

I think there are times in every relationship where one side has to put their feelings aside for the benefit of their partner. In the future (or maybe already there has been) there will come a time where your husband needs you to do this for him. My example is that I moved 5 hours across the country for my husbands career for 4 years away from all friends and family. This though is your time to have your feelings put to the fore and I think that it would be healthy for your relationship if your husband understands this. Xxx

 

[Emily0505]

I had a chat with oh about this yesterday. He said at least a week before people come (bless him). I said at least a few days and then i'll see how i feel, but that it must be made clear to anyone that comes over that i will not be playing hostess. If they want a cuppa, they can make one for themselves (and one for me while they are at it!!)

XX

 

[Hope81]

I moved across Europe for him lol actually. I suppose I deserve the birth I want now...
I don't want to see in laws with sad puppy eyes lol being so hurt but hopefully they will forget everything when they will see the baby...

 

[dyscochick]

Dysco will not your oh feel hurt that your parents can stay but not his parents?
I would rather not have in laws staying here at all but I can't stop thinking that he will be quite hurt...

It was my DH's idea. He said it was natural for me to want my mum there, but that his parents would understand why I needed space but also that I wanted my mum around! I offered to ask my parents to stay in a B&B but he was happy with that arrangement.

 

[Doob]

There you go then lol youve moved across Europe and he can politely stand up to his parents I think he gets the easier deal xx

 

[dyscochick]

I had a chat with oh about this yesterday. He said at least a week before people come (bless him). I said at least a few days and then i'll see how i feel, but that it must be made clear to anyone that comes over that i will not be playing hostess. If they want a cuppa, they can make one for themselves (and one for me while they are at it!!)

XX

I said this, but then DH said (bear in mind i'm due dec 5th but could be up tp 14 days late if induction works first time) that his parents could come for xmas and cook it in my kitchen. I said no way! to be fair on him he then totally understood and yes when they visit they will not be waited on hand and foot like they normally are!

Hope you are too good to him and this is one time to stick to your guns hun! It is the most important time in your life for you to have control over as many things as you can because everything else in terms of labour and birth will feel like its not under your control! He's got time to get used to it and time to get over and hopefully the birth of his child will completely override his wish to have his parents there. He has to think about you this time!

 

[dyscochick]

I moved across Europe for him lol actually. I suppose I deserve the birth I want now...
I don't want to see in laws with sad puppy eyes lol being so hurt but hopefully they will forget everything when they will see the baby...

they totally will! and you aren't shutting them out completely, just for a few days asking them to keep their distance to let you nuture their grandchild!

 

[russellmuscle]

Personally I think what happens in labour and soon after is primarily my choice.

We decide most things together but as I am the one giving birth I figure that I get to have the main say in what happens.

I am not usually this selfish BUT I do think this is one of the few times in my life I will get my own way and not expect OH to question any of my choices!!

My comfort and wellbeing has to be paramount, not OH's feelings!

xxxxxxxxxx

LMFAO - i agree xxxx

 

[PyscoFalcon]

Glad he's comming round slowly Hope

To the rest that think waiting at least 4 weeks before letting grandparents visit - if you knew my parents you wouldn't want your baby any where near them at all!

In-laws live 160 miles away and parents 200 miles away.

Last thing I want is either of them comming over and tripping over the baby,us,dog in our TINY 2 up 2 down house!

They can wait a month when I should be comfortable enought to go visit THEM for a few days.
Don't forget I also have athritus to deal with which is much worse in winter when baby is due so I'll not only have to recover from labour but the agony/strain it'll put on my back.


Oh yeah another thing.
When having my scan and tests done today I got a detail sheet about the labour ward. NO visitors allowed at all on the labour ward and only 1 birthing partner.

All scans and tests - 1 person to accompany only and no kids.

So if you DO want people to visit best to check up first

 

[charliebear]

So pleased things are starting to look better Hope.

No-one will be coming to visit me and Pip in hospital until AJ and J have been first. Everyone else can wait. Then my mum, Dad and sister will probably visit.
When I get home I'm not bothered who visits, as it'll be short visits as everyone is within a short travelling distance.

 

[Jayjay027]

The idea of having people in the waiting room really pisses me off!!
My best friend told me she wants me to tell her when I'm in labour so that she can come down and wait in the hospital, and I said 'in that case, I'll just tell u when the baby is born'

If I have no complications, I'll be sent home from delivery suite after 6-8hrs and no visitors are allowed in the delivery suite anyway, and I'd prefer my parents to be the first visitors, not my friend.

I doubt MIL will make the trip (all of 20mins away) to even visit us at home to see the baby, she'll expect us to go to her.
But to be honest, if I'm not feeling well enough, I'm not going, and I'll be breastfeeding, so baby isn't going either. End of! If she or hubby don't like it, tough! X

 

[russellmuscle]

The idea of having people in the waiting room really pisses me off!!
My best friend told me she wants me to tell her when I'm in labour so that she can come down and wait in the hospital, and I said 'in that case, I'll just tell u when the baby is born'

If I have no complications, I'll be sent home from delivery suite after 6-8hrs and no visitors are allowed in the delivery suite anyway, and I'd prefer my parents to be the first visitors, not my friend.

I doubt MIL will make the trip (all of 20mins away) to even visit us at home to see the baby, she'll expect us to go to her.
But to be honest, if I'm not feeling well enough, I'm not going, and I'll be breastfeeding, so baby isn't going either. End of! If she or hubby don't like it, tough! X

My inlaws are kinda like that, i imagine theyll come to the hospital but when it comes to things like xmas they expect the gran kids brought to them and it caused war with my SIL when my neice was born as she wanted a family dinner and to stay in as it was beths 1st xmas and they refused to go visit! Im a bit nervous of this as im due at xmas and if i go into labour around xmas when i get home i wont be visitng round everywhere. Ill send my mum with presents and have visitors but i cant be arsed with an argument if my inlaws cant be arsed coming to us.

Im a bit like you, if im not well or it doesnt suit i wont go, the way i see it it works both ways with visiting and there are times when the parents are more able ie after you have baby xxxx

 

[Hope81]

I wish my in laws they would wait for us to go visit lol...
I am curious to see if they will actually get anything for the baby when she will be born... They gave us a trivial amount of money to buy sth for the baby but I couldn't care less about money... A cheap toy or clothes would have been a better gesture...
I never got a present from them and when they visit us they come empty handed...
I suppose I am not used to Nordic culture and customs...
My parents that are from Greece they
Now payed for the stroller, all the baby furniture and sent us 2 packages from Greece full of baby clothes, blankets, sheets, toys and everything really a baby needs. Every time they come visiting they come full of baked goodies, presents for us, clothes for both me and my oh, books, CDs, things for the house and money....they also cook every day, do the laundry, take care of the garden pay and do all the shopping...all that while they know to respect our personal place and leave us alone time with my oh the whole evening...
Only if someone will dare to tell me why my parents will stay here for 1 month and my in laws they will not...(well besides that my parents are from a different country and they can't come and go in like a week lol)
I suppose I have yet to learn about Norwegian hospitality or lack of it really...