Very long post (be warned)

[Cat&Noah]

Right I will start at the begining!
OH and his dad have always been very close. His parents split up when he was about 17 and he never really got on with his mum that well, and always thought she was the unreasonable one that caused the marriage to end. Just over a year ago his mum moved back to town and he has started getting on with her really well, and sees her in a whole new way, and realised that his dad wasnt entirly without blame. The problem is his dad is very stuborn and thinks he is never wrong. Recently we had noticed that things all seemed a bit strained with his dad, but had no idea why, or even if it was anything to do with us or if he was having problems in his relationship or something. Anyway it all came out a month ago. His dad works off shore every other month, a couple of days before he was due to go away again his other half popped over with Noahs birthday presents, and said his he wouldnt bring them over cause he knows he is not allowed to come round and visit during the day! But that she was fed up all the sillyness, so she has brought them over. Well I just asked her what the hell she was talking about, we had never said he wasnt aloud to visit. It seemed that he has twisted our words. Several months ago, I was working part time monday, wednesdays and thursdays, Oh was taking a days holiday every friday, so we could go out and do things as a family for the holidays. I was also studying for my degree which I only had the Tuesday to do the whole weeks study in. We explained this to them at the time, so asked if they could only visit at evenings and weekends, cause they used to drop over during the day for hours on end, and I really didnt have the time, and was falling behind on my studies. No somehow he is claiming that we never said this, and we just said he was not alowed to visit his garandson during the week! Which he was apparently very hurt about. (The fact that it makes no sense that we would have just said that to him wasnt mentioned) Anyway he never told us is this and it took his other half to come over and tell us before we even knew their was a problem.
Anyway he has been offshore this last month so we havent seen him to resolve it since. But he is now hope and its his 60th birthday today. Normally he texts to say when he is ome, but this time he hasnt. And we have heard nothing from him. He doesnt know about the pregnancy yet, and we were going to enclose a copy of the scan in his birthday card as a surprise. But we wont do this till the weekend, the same time that we will see im for the first time to resolve this. But knowing how stuborn he is and the fact that he is still clearly making an issue out of this means I dont know what to do now. I dont want to give him this news and it is spoilt by a row. So dont know if to just say nothing still. I have a feeling its going to get nasty. This happened once before with OH and his dad and they didnt speak for months.

What should we do?

 

[Dee1985]

i would still give him the scan pic in his card its a fab idea.

i can see it from his point of view though my grandad is the same he visits for hours and i cant do any thing and its alwasy when kris just gets in from work and its tea time. once i told him if he could vist in the day instead he tok it to heart and i didnt see him for while and asummed kris didnt like him

have you finished studying now?

i would just have a chat and say it was not ment in that way and your studies are over now and you would like him to come round more???

 

[Cat&Noah]

yeah thats the thing I dont even have a day job anymore and I have finished my course for this year, so its no problem, he is just being petty about it cause he isnt gettin his own way. Like I said before this happened before, when Mark was doin his degree aout 7 years ago, his dad got funny about him being to busy to see him and stopped talking to him, even to this day he says it was all marks fault. Plus we found out that a long time ago, he fell out with his mum over a similar stupid thing and refused to talk to her, untill one of his aunts called him after 3 years and told him to sort it out cause his mother was dying. Mark can just remember how when he was little they stopped visiting his granny for a while. Honestly this guy acts like a 5 year old, playing silly games cause he doesnt get what he wants. OH says he doesnt want to fall out with him, but he refuses to get treated like this again. To give you an idea of how petty he is. OH asked him to look after a set of alloy wheels for him, cause we didnt have the space, he said no worries I will look after them for as long as you need. When all this kicked off (even though we didnt know there was a problem) OH got home from work today to find them just sitting on our drive. He asked why he had dropped them off without sayin anythin, and he said 'Oh I said I would only take them for the month' (complete lie) We have now realised he did it to prove a point, cause he dropped them off on a weekday, and didnt even knock on the door 'cause he wasnt allowed' When anyone could have walked off with these wheels.
And the thing is we have got a really nice day planned Saturday, my mum is taking noah over night, we are going to the cinema and a meal then onto a fireworks display. and I just know its going to go badly with his dad, and I feel it will upset and put OH in a bad mood for our day out.