Hi everyone. You may have read previous posts about me and my OH but now it's making me ill and i need to get things clear in my head.
I met my OH just over 3 years ago, we had a fantastic relationship to begin with and it was love at first sight for me - in fact the one and only person I have ever loved is him. Our relationship broke down after 7 months and i was devistated. We kept in touch on and off, and met up occasionally whenever HE decided to call. I was being used, but was so hoping to sort things out. This went on for quite a while, until eventually I met someone else and so did he - he got a girl pregnant after about a week of seeing her. He told me via text he was going to be a dad so wouldnt be able to see me again. That night I tried to do something stupid and it was a bit of a turning point for me. We lost touch with each other for a few months, until one day out of the blue he text me after getting my number off one of my friends. The other girl was 5 months pregnant by then, and he gave me a sob story about how she had tricked him, trapped him, lied to him, stole money from him, even booked false holidays and lied about her dad having a serious illness. I felt sorry for him. I loved him and hearing him hurt and upset tore me apart, even tho a piece of me thought he deserved everything he got.
We met up again for a chat, and after a couple of weeks he had left the girl and told me he still loved me. Just when i was prepared to stand by him he told me he wanted me to lose weight if we were going to get back together
I got upset and he went mad saying that he was only being honest and that he had remembered why he didnt want me in the first place! So we went our separate ways again. That was in September 2005 and I didnt see him again until Xmas 2005 - by which time I had lost over 2 stone and looked fab! His baby boy had been born in November.
We got talking again and after him telling me how much he loved me we ended up spending the night together. Turns out it was a bet he had with his brother, and he won. I checked his phone that night too - he already had another girlfriend and had warned her to stay out the pub becasue his "psycho ex" was in town (me!). I text her and told her what had happened then got a cab home while he was asleep.
All over xmas and new year 2005/2006 we kept in touch, either arguing or talking and he said he didn't want the other girl anyway as she was a drug addict and still sleeping with her ex. In January 2006 we decided to give it a go, and try again as we realised we kept being drawn back to each other again and again. Within a week of us getting together he went and spent the evening at another ex's house and said it made no difference because I wasn't his girlfriend anyway! So again more row's, and we tried again. All was going well, my parents accpeted him back, and I loved him more than ever - although I did find it hard to trust him. I can read him like a book, and he talks in his sleep!
In April 2006 he was acting very strange and I knew something was wrong. After a drunken night out I checked his phone again - very bad I know - but I had to know. There were messages on his phone from his ex he had the baby with asking him to go with her to the abortion clinic. I felt like my whole world had collapsed. I woke him up by kicking him, we had a massive row and a fight and he ended up getting arrested and spent the night in jail for hitting me.
The next day I dropped the charges and when he was released we went for a chat. He told me he slept with her at xmas when he went to see his son, before we got back together. She was claiming to be 4 months pregnant, and he had gone the clinic with her, only to find they were closed. When he made her do a test, it turned out she was not pregant at all.
Again I forgave him. I couldnt imagine not having him around and he broke all contact with his ex and his son so we could get on with our lives. We got engaged in May 2006 a couple of days after my birthday. I was happy, i love his family too. But we kept having arguments, i couldnt trust him anymore, and he never gave me reason too. He would keep his phone on silent, locked or turned off whenever he was with me. It was killing me slowly, I was already suffering with bulimia and the stress was making it worse. I was on the pill, but the sickness made it void and I found out i was pregnant just before i was due to go on holiday with him. That same week, he had told me he thought he had chlamydia and he caught it off me. He got very nasty and said it must be me because he had not slept around. We both went for tests and the results were due while we were away, I hadnt told him I was pregnant yet. We telephoned from Corfu for the results - I was clear, but HE had chlamydia.
We argued a lot on holiday, but had no choice but to sort things out being stuck in the same room. I told him I thought I was pregnant and he was happy, he told people on holiday that we had met, and kept stroking my tummy. Then I started to miscarry on the last day of the holiday.
I bled all the way home on the plane, and got no support from him, he was acting like I was just an inconvienience.
I had to go for scans and medical management when home, and he wouldnt come with me becasue of his work. Then he dumped me. I was a mess. I'd lost my baby and him within a week, i hadnt told any of my family about my MC and I was so alone. I tried anything to get him back. That was September 2006. In the couple of months after that he would phone me up crying when he was drunk saying how much he wanted a baby and he just couldnt deal with it. We met each other on and off, and I suppose I thought if I could give him the baby he desperately wanted, I would make him happy.
He was happy to begin with, then after listening to his mates, he lost interest and ignored me fo weeks. Then after I told his mother what was going on, he was interested again and said he just needed time. We have both bought a house in the last couple of months. His is in wolverhampton on a main road - very nice but not what I'm used too - I'm a country girl. And mine is a victorian cottage on the banks of the river surrounded by wildlife and trees.
I want to be a family and live together, he would make a great dad. He can be daft and funny, and can have you in pain from laughing so much. He loves fishing, animals, being outdoors - all the things I loved as a kid. I was a right little daddies girl! My baby would benefit from so much from him.
But, on valentines day this year, he came round to my cottage and gave me a card, when I opened it my engagement ring fell out. He put it back on my finger and i felt like everything was falling into place. Untill the weekend, when he announced he would not live in my house - which is close to my family - and i would have to live in his if we were to stay together. He said he is the boss of our relationship and what he says goes. That I would i would have to live under his roof, by his rules, and he would even limit what money I was allowed to have! His house is nearly an hour away from my family! This is my first baby. He has also said he is going to his friends wedding for a week in Dubai in October. Our baby will be 4 weeks old, and i cant understand why he would want to leave his newborn baby and me for a week when we are likely to need him most! He say's his friends are more important. I told him i needed space to think as our views are very different.
I tried to text him to talk a couple of days ago and he ignored me completely. So i sent him this text.... "I know you don't want our baby. I just wish you would be man enough to say it. You have never been there for me when I needed you and you have no intention of being there for our child. I dont think you will ever change. So you're off the hook. You wanted me out the way so you win. I ment what i said, I do think a lot of you and i do think you would make a great dad if you wanted, but you dont want, and my baby deserves more than to be second best."
Have I been too harsh? I can't stop crying and feel so low. Sorry for the long post. I dont blame you if you dont want to reply, but just writing t down has helped me see what a complete idiot i am.
Piglet xx
I met my OH just over 3 years ago, we had a fantastic relationship to begin with and it was love at first sight for me - in fact the one and only person I have ever loved is him. Our relationship broke down after 7 months and i was devistated. We kept in touch on and off, and met up occasionally whenever HE decided to call. I was being used, but was so hoping to sort things out. This went on for quite a while, until eventually I met someone else and so did he - he got a girl pregnant after about a week of seeing her. He told me via text he was going to be a dad so wouldnt be able to see me again. That night I tried to do something stupid and it was a bit of a turning point for me. We lost touch with each other for a few months, until one day out of the blue he text me after getting my number off one of my friends. The other girl was 5 months pregnant by then, and he gave me a sob story about how she had tricked him, trapped him, lied to him, stole money from him, even booked false holidays and lied about her dad having a serious illness. I felt sorry for him. I loved him and hearing him hurt and upset tore me apart, even tho a piece of me thought he deserved everything he got.
We met up again for a chat, and after a couple of weeks he had left the girl and told me he still loved me. Just when i was prepared to stand by him he told me he wanted me to lose weight if we were going to get back together
I got upset and he went mad saying that he was only being honest and that he had remembered why he didnt want me in the first place! So we went our separate ways again. That was in September 2005 and I didnt see him again until Xmas 2005 - by which time I had lost over 2 stone and looked fab! His baby boy had been born in November.We got talking again and after him telling me how much he loved me we ended up spending the night together. Turns out it was a bet he had with his brother, and he won. I checked his phone that night too - he already had another girlfriend and had warned her to stay out the pub becasue his "psycho ex" was in town (me!). I text her and told her what had happened then got a cab home while he was asleep.
All over xmas and new year 2005/2006 we kept in touch, either arguing or talking and he said he didn't want the other girl anyway as she was a drug addict and still sleeping with her ex. In January 2006 we decided to give it a go, and try again as we realised we kept being drawn back to each other again and again. Within a week of us getting together he went and spent the evening at another ex's house and said it made no difference because I wasn't his girlfriend anyway! So again more row's, and we tried again. All was going well, my parents accpeted him back, and I loved him more than ever - although I did find it hard to trust him. I can read him like a book, and he talks in his sleep!
In April 2006 he was acting very strange and I knew something was wrong. After a drunken night out I checked his phone again - very bad I know - but I had to know. There were messages on his phone from his ex he had the baby with asking him to go with her to the abortion clinic. I felt like my whole world had collapsed. I woke him up by kicking him, we had a massive row and a fight and he ended up getting arrested and spent the night in jail for hitting me.
The next day I dropped the charges and when he was released we went for a chat. He told me he slept with her at xmas when he went to see his son, before we got back together. She was claiming to be 4 months pregnant, and he had gone the clinic with her, only to find they were closed. When he made her do a test, it turned out she was not pregant at all.
Again I forgave him. I couldnt imagine not having him around and he broke all contact with his ex and his son so we could get on with our lives. We got engaged in May 2006 a couple of days after my birthday. I was happy, i love his family too. But we kept having arguments, i couldnt trust him anymore, and he never gave me reason too. He would keep his phone on silent, locked or turned off whenever he was with me. It was killing me slowly, I was already suffering with bulimia and the stress was making it worse. I was on the pill, but the sickness made it void and I found out i was pregnant just before i was due to go on holiday with him. That same week, he had told me he thought he had chlamydia and he caught it off me. He got very nasty and said it must be me because he had not slept around. We both went for tests and the results were due while we were away, I hadnt told him I was pregnant yet. We telephoned from Corfu for the results - I was clear, but HE had chlamydia.
We argued a lot on holiday, but had no choice but to sort things out being stuck in the same room. I told him I thought I was pregnant and he was happy, he told people on holiday that we had met, and kept stroking my tummy. Then I started to miscarry on the last day of the holiday.
I bled all the way home on the plane, and got no support from him, he was acting like I was just an inconvienience.
I had to go for scans and medical management when home, and he wouldnt come with me becasue of his work. Then he dumped me. I was a mess. I'd lost my baby and him within a week, i hadnt told any of my family about my MC and I was so alone. I tried anything to get him back. That was September 2006. In the couple of months after that he would phone me up crying when he was drunk saying how much he wanted a baby and he just couldnt deal with it. We met each other on and off, and I suppose I thought if I could give him the baby he desperately wanted, I would make him happy.
He was happy to begin with, then after listening to his mates, he lost interest and ignored me fo weeks. Then after I told his mother what was going on, he was interested again and said he just needed time. We have both bought a house in the last couple of months. His is in wolverhampton on a main road - very nice but not what I'm used too - I'm a country girl. And mine is a victorian cottage on the banks of the river surrounded by wildlife and trees.
I want to be a family and live together, he would make a great dad. He can be daft and funny, and can have you in pain from laughing so much. He loves fishing, animals, being outdoors - all the things I loved as a kid. I was a right little daddies girl! My baby would benefit from so much from him.
But, on valentines day this year, he came round to my cottage and gave me a card, when I opened it my engagement ring fell out. He put it back on my finger and i felt like everything was falling into place. Untill the weekend, when he announced he would not live in my house - which is close to my family - and i would have to live in his if we were to stay together. He said he is the boss of our relationship and what he says goes. That I would i would have to live under his roof, by his rules, and he would even limit what money I was allowed to have! His house is nearly an hour away from my family! This is my first baby. He has also said he is going to his friends wedding for a week in Dubai in October. Our baby will be 4 weeks old, and i cant understand why he would want to leave his newborn baby and me for a week when we are likely to need him most! He say's his friends are more important. I told him i needed space to think as our views are very different.
I tried to text him to talk a couple of days ago and he ignored me completely. So i sent him this text.... "I know you don't want our baby. I just wish you would be man enough to say it. You have never been there for me when I needed you and you have no intention of being there for our child. I dont think you will ever change. So you're off the hook. You wanted me out the way so you win. I ment what i said, I do think a lot of you and i do think you would make a great dad if you wanted, but you dont want, and my baby deserves more than to be second best."
Have I been too harsh? I can't stop crying and feel so low. Sorry for the long post. I dont blame you if you dont want to reply, but just writing t down has helped me see what a complete idiot i am.
Piglet xx
, no engagement ring, no weddings, no babies. He didnt want children. We were sposed to buy a house together which we did but he never paid towards it on a regular basis, he did some work on it over the 10 years but he lived away from it most of that time. He had 3 long term affairs that I found out about and how many others that I do not know about. I ended up on anti-depressants at one stage as thought that everything that went wrong was my fault (so he told me). I finally woke up when he was seen at a wedding reception with some girl and it turned out he'd been with her for months (all the time lying to me and sposdly trying to work things out). even when he was caught red-handed he still lied about the girl. Anyway you deserve better, I've been there and you feel like that you have no-one else to turn to but you do, have faith in yourself and believe me there is a better life out there, where you do not have to continually wonder where he is wot he is upto etc etc etc. Do not give up your house either, I wouldnt put him on my mortgage and thank god I didnt else he'd have screwed even more money out of me. sorry to have gone on but please as hard as it is dont go back.
Not likely, sorry but any man who can treat you like that is NOT going to make a good father trust me. Its about time you realised that you deserve much better than this and so does that wee little one inside you. You sound like you have a beautiful home and a loving family, dont throw it away on this toss pot he aint worth it, and you can tell him I said so.
