uncomfortable about breast feeding

[Esoames]

Please also don't think of it as "giving up" it's not. So many times I wanted to stop and give a bottle but Isla didn't want one so I continued, I'm nearly at 11 months feeding. If it doesn't work out then change the way you feed, never think that you're letting lo or people down. They need to eat and wether it's boob or bottle it doesn't matter.

Emma xx

 

[Sleepy sue]

I'm definitely going to try bf, especially for the first month although i will be expressing it so I don't have to do all the work lol

Just on a personal note I was born 10 weeks early with pneumonia and yellow, and not given much of a chance (32 years ago) my mom was discharged from hospital while I stayed in. My mom walked the 12 mile round trip to bring me her expressed breast milk everyday and the doctors on the ward told my mom that was what gave me the strength to recover and become the pain in the bum I am today

I do think those first few weeks are important but it is personal choice x

 

[littlemiss83]

I may be lucky in the sense that I found it quite easy to lose weight after baby was born, while bottle feeding, It might be due to not having time to actually eat, or the extra walking to calm baby. I think the comfort eating crept in a few months down the line when life got a bit easier! Could also be all the sitting about we do being preggers, then all of a sudden we're running about like headless chickens after our babies, our bodies dont know whats hit 'em.

 

[Sam's Mum]

Please also don't think of it as "giving up" it's not. So many times I wanted to stop and give a bottle but Isla didn't want one so I continued, I'm nearly at 11 months feeding. If it doesn't work out then change the way you feed, never think that you're letting lo or people down. They need to eat and wether it's boob or bottle it doesn't matter.

Emma xx

Well said

 

[Dragonfly Fi]

I found the first week really tough (tongue tie and other problems) then i found 4 months really difficult and then probably another spurt at 6 months... but other than those relatively tough bits, its been an absolute breeze! I am certainly glad i dont have to stand in a cold kitchen with a screaming baby while i prepare a bottle (or sterilise loads of stuff... though you end up doing that anyway with breast pumps and bottles and dummies and what not!)

Each to their own, but i HAVE to say its not 'just milk' its what feeds our babies for the first six months of their lives and gives them the majority of their nutrition for the rest of their first year!! its also not 'just' about 'happy mum happy baby' its about weighing up things like likelihood to get allergies and a whole host of other things.

there are no 'benefits' to breastfeeding, breastfeeding is the normal. You loose up to 400 specially designed nutrients plus antibodies if you don't breastfeed.

 

[redbear]

I dont think the getting up to make bottles things makes a difference to me as there are elsectric bottle warmers and fridges you can put in the nursery and i will have to get up to change bum anyway so im just thinking of doing that, and i thought formula wasn't 'just milk' its designed for the babies its not just any old thing, and i know lots of people who where bottle fed with tonnes of allergies and who are 'sickly' people and i know friends who where bottle fed with hardly any... everyones different and what it says in the textbooks are not always the norm... and i do think a happy mum bottlefeeding is better than misserable mum breastfeeding but thats just my view...not having a go or anything just trying to see the other side of the coin.
xx

 

[littlemiss83]

I agree redbear

 

[Dragonfly Fi]

Breast milk is the normal milk for babies, Formula is a subsitute, it is not as good or as varied (for example breast milk will adjust in hot weather, depending on wether baby is hungry or thirsty and provides antibodies against diseases.

some parts of breastfeeding were hard, and i think 'happy mum happy baby' makes people think 'why bother' when actually there is very very good reason to 'bother' i wish every mother could fast forward to snuggling a few times a day with a child suckling and it not being sore or uncomfy or in the way. Or to a busy train with no time to get a bottle sorted when you can give your distressed child a good feed and make them (and you) feel better.

Of course it can be hard from time to time, all parenting is, but its not about giving up or taking the percieved 'easy road' there are lots of other things to weigh up too.

If my child gets a cold or flu, i want my antibodies to support that child as well as myself. Its more important to me than getting a full nights sleep right away, or being able to share feeds.

 

[redbear]

I don't disagree but i don't think bottle feeding is the easy way out like many people have said breastfeeding is easyer for some mums, i think with how good formula milk is now that its not the be all and end all and if breastfeeeding is going to make the mum uncomfortable and upset i don't think should be made to feel like they have to just because the baby gets a bit more- and like i said the text books will tell you it is brilliant for this that and the other but i know children breastfed who are very sickly children, it doesn't always work the way doctors tell you,
I think that no one disagree's with the benifits of breastfeeding but i don't think mums should feel pressured into it by midwifes and other mums when its a personal choice and in the long run new mums have enough pressure without people judging them for 'not trying' or 'taking the easy road' etc x

 

[kirstyrussell]

I feel exactly the same, i don't have a reason but i just don't want to breast feed. I am expecting twins so it will be harder to breast feed anyway, but even before i found out it was twins i just didnt think i wanted to. I don't think there is anything wrong with wanting to bottle feed.

 

[frankie707]

Breast milk is the normal milk for babies, Formula is a subsitute, it is not as good or as varied (for example breast milk will adjust in hot weather, depending on wether baby is hungry or thirsty and provides antibodies against diseases.

some parts of breastfeeding were hard, and i think 'happy mum happy baby' makes people think 'why bother' when actually there is very very good reason to 'bother' i wish every mother could fast forward to snuggling a few times a day with a child suckling and it not being sore or uncomfy or in the way. Or to a busy train with no time to get a bottle sorted when you can give your distressed child a good feed and make them (and you) feel better.

Of course it can be hard from time to time, all parenting is, but its not about giving up or taking the percieved 'easy road' there are lots of other things to weigh up too.

If my child gets a cold or flu, i want my antibodies to support that child as well as myself. Its more important to me than getting a full nights sleep right away, or being able to share feeds.

I totally agree with you BigBump and when I said happy mummy=happy baby i didnt mean as soon as it gets hard stop - I had it really hard the first three weeks (which felt like forever at the time) and did not enjoy feeding at all (bleeding nipples etc) but I stuck it out and am very pleased that I did and for all the reasons you've said above. What I did mean by that comment was that bf isn't for everyone for various reasons and by saying happy mummy=happy baby i wanted to put across that everyone should feel able to make whatever choice suits them best and not feel bad for not bf.

 

[Dragonfly Fi]

I understand that breastfeeding isn't for everyone. If its not for you then absolutely fine, it is your choice to make. It is about more than your own comfort though, its about all sorts of things and despite how good formula is these days (it grows babies which is amazing) it is not the same as, as good as or equivilent to a substance which constantly changes and is specially custom designed for your baby. Breast milk is an amazing substance...

 

[littlemiss83]

Breast milk is the normal milk for babies, Formula is a subsitute, it is not as good or as varied (for example breast milk will adjust in hot weather, depending on wether baby is hungry or thirsty and provides antibodies against diseases.

some parts of breastfeeding were hard, and i think 'happy mum happy baby' makes people think 'why bother' when actually there is very very good reason to 'bother' i wish every mother could fast forward to snuggling a few times a day with a child suckling and it not being sore or uncomfy or in the way. Or to a busy train with no time to get a bottle sorted when you can give your distressed child a good feed and make them (and you) feel better.

Of course it can be hard from time to time, all parenting is, but its not about giving up or taking the percieved 'easy road' there are lots of other things to weigh up too.

If my child gets a cold or flu, i want my antibodies to support that child as well as myself. Its more important to me than getting a full nights sleep right away, or being able to share feeds.

I think what you said may have some truths in it but to be honest I think your views are hurtfull to people who are unable to breast feed.

And I definately wouldn't say that not BFing is an "easy road" and I think you have no right to assume that because someone doesn't BF that they are taking the "easy road"

Stating facts about BFing & sharing opinions is fine. But I think what you've you've said is more than inconsiderate to other people. And I think more tact should have been used there.

While I agree with parts of what you've said, BFing does not guarantee that a child has less chance of getting the cold compared to bottle fed.

 

[frankie707]

I understand that breastfeeding isn't for everyone. If its not for you then absolutely fine, it is your choice to make. It is about more than your own comfort though, its about all sorts of things and despite how good formula is these days (it grows babies which is amazing) it is not the same as, as good as or equivilent to a substance which constantly changes and is specially custom designed for your baby. Breast milk is an amazing substance...

Totally agree with you, just in the interests of this thread want to make sure that people don't feel they are hurting/harming their babies by not bfing.

 

[redbear]

I think that a woman has a right to choose what makes her comfortable i think it has a lot to do with it... that no matter what they say in the long run i couldn't tell a 10 year old thats bottle fed from a 10 year old thats breastfed, Its not like they are putting there child at danger by feeding formula... i think they paint a picture of a sick child that can't cope because it hasnt had the antibodies when in reality its not like that at all.
Plus i know this is a little off topic but my sister in law bangged on about how brilliant she was because she was breastfeeding at the same time as smoking a fag and drinking vodka... also she breast fed untill her son was around three which if he had been bottle fed he would have been weened a lot sooner and got his goodness from the food instead of being stuck on the boob which will have stopped providing him with enough substinance ages ago... Just my opinion there lol x

 

[nik106]

I really want/wanted to breastfeed but we're really struggling with it. I didn't buy any equipment to bottle feed at all because i didn't expect it to be difficult. In reality, the decision was partly taken out of my hands. My lo is impatient to say the least. She starts latching by clamping down, gives two sucks and then gets frustrated because the milk hasn't had a chance to come through. Eventually the ward midwives insisted that she had formula as she hadn't managed to get anything all day with exception to the very tiny amounts we managed to hand express onto a teaspoon. They spent hours with us trying to get her to feed to no avail.

As it stands, we have opted to express and feed on a spoon and bottle feed very small amounts of formula until my milk comes in properly at which point i will be as a minimum using expressed milk.

I haven't given up on the idea of breastfeeding although i know its going to be much harder now we've given her a bottle. We are using NUK teats designed to mimic nipples and work in conjunction with breastfeeding as well as lots of skin to skin contact. We're also seeing a lactation consultant on Friday.

I've had a lot of negative comments and pressure from my family about how I'm doing the wrong thing, but they weren't there. My lo was getting so distressed with not being able to feed whilst being pushed and pulled around that they were taking off me to calm her down. None of this helped by me unintentionally flinching and pulling away where my boobs are now bruised from the clamping down.

 

[Dragonfly Fi]

I feel a child has the right to the best nutrition available to them! I am sorry but that is Honestly what i believe and though i was selective with my views in the earlier part of this thread, some of the posts have made me wonder why i should curb my opinion (and one that is deeply rooted in both science AND instinct) when people are quite happy to suggest that formula milk is 'as good' or whatever. There have been comments on here that have really got my back up, just because i worked BLOODY HARD to breastfeed my child does not mean i dont feel emotion or am not worth being careful around! I am sick of this stigma surrounding breastfeeding which stops people from talking about it sensibly

Jasper probably watches FAR more television in a day than he should, i should play with him more, read to him more, limit his food more and all sorts of things that i feel guilty about and try and change every day... I dont see why discussing breastfeeding/bottle feeding is ANY different. I would not get all 'up in arms' about a thread talking about how much better it is for kids not to be around a television, or discussing different parenting techniques.

If you make a decision that affects your child you have to accept that there are different facts and benefits from each thing you do (or not deciding whatever you want to choose) As far as i am concerned as long as you feed your baby you are doing better than some are able to do or bother to do. BUT if you are able to, breastfeeding is the optimum, it is the normal and what our babies are designed to eat.

It also protects us against breast cancer, cervical cancer and other nasties. Its got SO many good points that we LOOSE if we bottle feed (because as i said, breastfeeding is the NORMAL it has no benefits, it has things that are LOST from formula feeding)

As for feeding til 3, the world average is 5 to be completely weaned and the World Health Organisation suggest 2.5 to be full term breastfeeding. It is only in our culture that it is considered 'extended' breastfeeding to feed a child past one. I dislike formula because it has created that culture where we see breastfeeding as abnormal and bottle feeding as normal.

If i was really squirmish about breastfeeding or if i found my nipples were not suitable or i felt not able, i would pump for a while at least... but everyone is different and thats fair enough, just worth looking at all the facts before making a decision that inevitably could effect both you and your child for the rest of your lives.

 

[Dragonfly Fi]

I really want/wanted to breastfeed but we're really struggling with it. I didn't buy any equipment to bottle feed at all because i didn't expect it to be difficult. In reality, the decision was partly taken out of my hands. My lo is impatient to say the least. She starts latching by clamping down, gives two sucks and then gets frustrated because the milk hasn't had a chance to come through. Eventually the ward midwives insisted that she had formula as she hadn't managed to get anything all day with exception to the very tiny amounts we managed to hand express onto a teaspoon. They spent hours with us trying to get her to feed to no avail.

As it stands, we have opted to express and feed on a spoon and bottle feed very small amounts of formula until my milk comes in properly at which point i will be as a minimum using expressed milk.

I haven't given up on the idea of breastfeeding although i know its going to be much harder now we've given her a bottle. We are using NUK teats designed to mimic nipples and work in conjunction with breastfeeding as well as lots of skin to skin contact. We're also seeing a lactation consultant on Friday.

I've had a lot of negative comments and pressure from my family about how I'm doing the wrong thing, but they weren't there. My lo was getting so distressed with not being able to feed whilst being pushed and pulled around that they were taking off me to calm her down. None of this helped by me unintentionally flinching and pulling away where my boobs are now bruised from the clamping down.

Nice one for giving it a go x and for continuing to express thats amazing of you. Jasper wouldnt latch at all after a week of tongue tie and every time i held him he just cried It was heartbreaking, in the end we used breast shields and weaned him off them, it really really helped and i dont know if we would have survived without great determination, better than average Health Care Professionals and a lot of hard work.

You have given that baby so much just in the first few days so dont worry xxx it will be fine xx

 

[frankie707]

Oh poor you! I had no idea how hard it was going to be to start with and G really struggled to get latched on. I ended up having to use nipple shields, which I wasnt keen on as they are basically large teats over your own nipple, for a few days but with these and extensive lanisnoh usage my nipples did heal and G had no problems latching onto my nipple. My main fear was nipple confusion but we just did lots of skin to skin and we're still going 9 months later - dont lose hope

 

[Sam's Mum]

I understand that breastfeeding isn't for everyone. If its not for you then absolutely fine, it is your choice to make. It is about more than your own comfort though, its about all sorts of things and despite how good formula is these days (it grows babies which is amazing) it is not the same as, as good as or equivilent to a substance which constantly changes and is specially custom designed for your baby. Breast milk is an amazing substance...

I do agree with you, but there are lots of mums who want nothing more than to breastfeed and find that they can't, so it's not always a choice. I spent the first 4 months of Sam's life in agony and dreading him wanting fed because I was in so much pain every time he did (he was tongue tied but it wasn't until months later that someone actually noticed) but I still appreciate the fact that I was able to give him that because I know that some people don't have that option. I think I was also lucky that he slept through from the start - if I'd had to go through all that on no sleep I'm not sure I'd have got through it. While formula isn't the same nutritionally, I do think it's important to remember that environment has a huge impact on early development, and in some cases breastfeeding is something a mum feels so uncomfortable about that it affects her relationship with her child in the first few months x