this experience has ruined my life.

Discussion in 'Coping with Miscarriage & Loss' started by ellie86, Aug 7, 2016.

  1. ellie86

    ellie86 Member

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    Im unsure what to do and im feeling very alone right now.
    But I wanted to post this A. To vent B. To make others aware.
    In june I had a normal cycle 5days nothing new, after a week and the onset of up coming ovulation was upon me, myself and my partner were very excited we have been trying to conceive for 6 years with only one previous ectopic. Bare in my im only 30. I have a daughter from previous as so does he.
    Anyway.... End of june I started to get very upwell and my breast were killing, I had also developed sciatica. I went to see my doctor who did every test running, took my bloods and sent me on my way with ibuprofen. My test results came back everything was good but no pregnancy, test was negative on july 8th.
    Around the 16th I got my period but it was late. But as I got it, myself and my partner were ok as making babies is fun.
    Well around the 29th my breast were extremely tender and I started to vomit. My partner was convinced I was pregnant and we had a little bet over a p test.
    To my surprise it was very very positive darkest test I have ever seen from me anyway.
    I was worried so I contacted the local epu to get an early scan as previous ectopic was bound to cause me super anxiety.
    I was called in, they took my bloods and as I waited for my scan the nurse came smiled and said your beta hcg is very high over 1800 and I must be 6 weeks. Lop
    The scan revealed an empty womb and thin lining I was told this was to be another ectopic I was devastated.
    Chatting with my amazing partner after the scan, he reminded me of the blood test at my gp and that it was negative two weeks prior. Wow some hope they could be wrong.
    I contact epu again and was asked to come back to monitor my bloods as I could still be very early. Over a period of a week my bloods were going up but only by 43% but to me this was a good sign as my pervious ectopic they didn't budge.
    As my bloods were going up, they said that this is def a ectopic and basically backed me onto a corner giving me the option of surgery or a shot to breakdown the pregnancy. I choose neither and asked for a second scan before I decided anything.
    Before my second scan I was told the previous scan had revealed an adexnal mass in the fimbriae of my left tube. Why was I not told this before. I had no bleeding no pain nothing. I was fine. After my second scan revealed an empty womb I was told the adexnal mass was defo ectopic, I asked could it be a cyst as I am fine. I was told no and as I had a previous ectopic in the left tube surgery maybe best. Which I agreed as I couldn't go through another left sided ectopic again. I was booked for a scan the following week to prep me for surgery, the sonographers face looked puzzled. I was so scared as I felt like I had been bullied by previous doctors that didn't care, I was just another number on the factory line at epu.
    After the scan I was told to wait for the results so they could give me a date for surgery to remove the pregnancy and try help fix the issue with the left tube. I was rushed into surgery and hour later, terrified as I've never even broken a bone. I was reassured by the staff at epu I would be fine and I looked for the best thinking if they remove my bad left tube finall, I might have a chance at getting pregnant after so long.
    I went for surgery yesterday, I woke up to my partner looking at me, smiling with grapes (bless him!) :wave:
    Anyway the nurse came in to see us, she started with im sorry, what huh sorry for what?
    The surgery went well but they said the adexnal mass was a cyst which I thought it was all along. The found the baby in my right tube which the scan never showed. And remove the right tube and left me with a broken left tube.
    Im utterly broken over this, a doctor came in and told me it wasn't his fault he wasn't even here, he didn't know anything and that all my paperwork stated the right side all along. So why was I upset I can still have kids through ivf.
    What a,way to be treated. Bullied by nhs doctors, treated like a second class lab rat and then its ok that they have taken the only little natural fertility i have.
    Im utterly heartbroken.
     
  2. DarcyHodge

    DarcyHodge Well-Known Member

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    Wow I'm so sorry this has hapoened to you how awful and frustrating to be treated like that x
     
  3. Sparklegirl

    Sparklegirl Well-Known Member

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    So heart breaking for you, sorry this has been your experience. I know I cant say anything to help but I am thinking of you
     
  4. MrsS15

    MrsS15 Well-Known Member

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    I'm so sorry you went through this. How awful! Your trust was completely betrayed!

    When you're ready, can you make an appointment with someone to go through what your options are? Have they said your left tube won't work at all? I hope you are as okay as can be and get the heel you deserve xx
     
  5. ellie86

    ellie86 Member

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    Thank you ladies for your replies.
    I feel at such a loss with this after so long of not being able to get pregnant I finally found a miracle that got me pregnant in 8weeks and I can't understand how the hospital has treated me like this. My left tube is still there but has scarring so I'm at a 1in 4 chance of another ectopic pregnancy.
    Today the surgeon came from home to see me, as he was so angry at the whole situation, he has called a meeting with all staff that dealt with me over the last week in September and I shall be there too, as he wants to get to the bottom of how this has happened.
    I also found out today the baby had grown over 6cm in my tube and was on its way to rupture he told me 24 hours more I would have been dead from blood loss. How could they get something so wrong. My partner is fuming.
    On the good side, turns in out he is a very well respected fertility specialist and he says he is very happy to fully back me in all my follow ups which he doesn't usually do.
    I will never give up hope anything worth having is hard work, I shall continue on the path I was on once I have recovered. Any ladies that wish to know how I managed this feel free to ask I shall gladly share my steps.
    Hopefully next time I get a healthy pregnancy.
    But after years of trying and being told I'm infertile I actually fell pregnant.
     
  6. ellie86

    ellie86 Member

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    Forgot to add the whole time that I had been going to epu,,they had told me this pregnancy was a left fimbrial ectopic. The only reason why I agreed to have surgery was because of the previous problems I have had with my left tube. After my last ectopic I had die ran through my tubes to check for blockages and was told everything looked good, but since then every month for 3weeks my left side has cramps.
    I thought surgery might help in the long run to help diagnose what was going on, and maybe give me more insight as to what's going on in my body.
    I did ask the sonography twice if I had any cysts and was told no.
    Because of my lack of bleeding and pains I also asked my doctor if I wasn't pregnant, could it be a cyst and she said yes possibly as they didn't definately find a sac just a mass which would imply ectopic as my beta was so high.
    It was only when I went in for surgery the doctors were shocked to find the live pregnancy in my right tube and hence had to remove it to save my life.
     

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