The positivity thread :)

[lisey]

I mentioned it to my OH yesterday and he said it sounded good. I called it cognitive hypnotherapy (that is what its called but I chose that wording over fertility hypnotherapy), all he said was to make sure its a reputable person which I would do but he is up for anything that can help with my anxieties so the 'cognitive' bit helped my case. Even if he didn't agree I would go if I wanted to but didn't want him to think I was mad!! xx

 

[phonixgirl]

Hi ladies

I think this is a great thread. Hadn't thought about hypnotherapy but I will be doing acupuncture when we have IVF xx

 

[Blueflower]

I read something very helpful yesterday, it said that its ok to ‘pour out’ negative thoughts because then it leaves you empty, ready to be filled with peace. Thought that was lovely!

 

[lisey]

I like that. It can't be good to keep the negative thoughts in. I like what louba said about locking them away until later and having a set time to get those feelings out xx

 

[Blueflower]

I can't do that! I have to think them when I think them!! If I save them up I don't feel like dealing with them any more and they stay in. Its like a teacher friend and her husband set aside half an hour after work to talk about the day and then not again, I'd keep thinking of things I wanted to say afterwards!

 

[lisey]

Oh I wouldn't be able to do that either, we chat all evening on and off about our days, would be weird to restrict that time xx

 

[Blueflower]

Yeah, I can see why they did it as teachers though because its ok up to a point to talk about how clever /funny so and so was, I used to enjoy it with my colleague but it soon got a bit boring especially when she started doing their voices, haha! Her husband probably suggested it to stop him cringing! My OH hates talking about his day, its like trying to get blood out of a stone!

 

[millielaura]

Lol we barely talk about our days haha maybe we chat for all of 5 minutes about our day and that's it haha!!
I was just thinking of how I deal with negative thoughts and I can honestly say I don't experience them like I did before. I used to dwell on them and now I replace it with a positive thought. I allow myself to think it but then replace with it's positive counter part. I watched 'The Secret' massively recommend it to people, and thought it wouldn't be my thing at first but now I swear by it! All about the law of attraction etc. I used to worry about money massively and we were always skint then I started thinking positively about money etc and then my business started going really well and OH randomly got a payrise out of no where! Also when I was preg and sick I told my friends I had a reallyyy sore throat and that's why I couldn't meet them. Then week before last I got suchh a sore throat and I haven't had one in a couple years. So now I totally believe in it!

Also I write down every day (I have been a bit bad with forgetting) 10 things I am greatful for that day and that makes me feel more positive xxx

 

[Blueflower]

Saw the hypnotherapist yesterday, she said the Sedona method works more quickly so we tried that first and will do a combination. It was mostly a series of questions that you answer about a feeling based on right now, so she asked if I could let go of fear or sadness just for now, and she said if you allow the brain to let go temporarily its more likely to let go permanently. It was a bit emotional at times. I found it very hard to describe how I was feeling after each go though! She also said that if you fix on a goal, e.g. having a baby, the brain tends to focus on what you don't have, and may reinforce it, so its better to take away the fear of what it would be like if you don't achieve the goal and replace it with acceptance or peace. That's how I understood it anyway! I was a bit disappointed we didn't do the actual hypnotherapy bit this time but whatever gets better results is fine with me!

 

[Loubalouba]

That's interesting about the peace/acceptance of the worst case scenario because I would say since facing my fear of not being a mum during hypnotherapy since I have had the hypnotherapy I have felt stronger and more at peace within myself so maybe that's what she means.... I really hope it works for u Hun and it brings u strength and your bfp xxxx

 

[Loubalouba]

At my first session we just talked and then did very quick hypnotherapy to see if I would respond to it x

 

[Blueflower]

Saw the hypnotherapist again today. I'm not keen on the Sedona method because I can never describe how I'm feeling and whatever word I choose goes into the next round of questions which sounds silly!

Did the hypnosis this week though and it was useful. I had to imagine the thing stopping me from getting pregnant as a physical thing inside me & I thought she was going to get me to tell it to go away, but instead, she told me to take it out, thank it for what it has been doing to protect me so far but say I don't need it to do that any more, watch it change shape and colour and then put it back! The actual hypnosis was very relaxing and I didn't feel out of control or anything. At one point I tried to open my eyes but it was almost impossible!

Then we did something about goals which I didn't like because it focused on acceptance but I don't want to accept that I can't have children! Even if it means that it will help me to move on and leave room for an unexpected pregnancy in the future I don't see why I should accept not having children first in order to maybe get pregnant when others just plan to get pregnant and achieve it! I prefer Marisa Peer's blind faith that it will happen! I'm obviously not ready to accept it, maybe because of the embryos waiting in the freezer! Or maybe acceptance is too hard at the moment and I need a half way house!

 

[phonixgirl]

Awww. The first bit sounds good! I'm the same - absolutely, definitely NOT ready to accept that just yet x

 

[Blueflower]

Found the word, I recognise it for now but don't yet accept it!

 

[Loubalouba]

For me it was not about learning to accept not having children but just facing my fear which I found helped to calm it down if that makes sense... It made me feel more at ease and made me actually believe more that we would have children and I think that was because I felt calmer within myself... I did the cannot open my eyes thing and it made me panic a bit but I got used to it and we did it with my eyes open too.

I really hope u get something from it Hun because it really got me out of a deep dark hole xx