The dream is over

[kanga86]

I was referred for an early scan today as I have had bleeding on and off the whole time I though I was pregnant. I had to have an internal scan as they couldn't see anything clearly on the screen, she clicked and prodded for ages and asked if I was sure of my dates, I thought I was 11 weeks pregnant.

She said the sac only measured 5-6 weeks and no baby or anything was seen inside. She said the options were my dates were wrong or the pregnancy had ended before it began

So I went to see the nurse afterwards and she said even if I went by the day I got my bfp I should still be 9 weeks! So suspects it is a miscarriage. I have to go back next week for another scan to check on everything but I'm not hopeful. And if nothing has happened naturally then I will be sent for a d & c.

It has been so hard on me and my OH as we were trying for a baby and can't believe this has happened. The hardest part has actually been telling people who knew already, it is so heartbreaking having to say it out loud to people, makes it too real!

At the moment I am thinking there was no baby in there to start with so no baby has actually died, hoping this make it easier to cope with. So my body was just playing tricks on me, don't know if it is going to work but it is worth a try. Xx

 

[Butterflykisses]

So so sorry to read this hun. It really is hard when they give you the awful news. I have been where you are back in January. The old cliche of it gets easier is true but you have to give it time. Also really important that you talk about it. Don't bottle up your feelings and make sure you and OH look after each other. xxx

 

[laurat]

I am so sorry honey! It is the worst experience I have ever had to go through! You need to take good care of yourself and your oh and take time to talk about it and do whats right for you and him! There are lots of us here to listen who know exactly how you feel!

 

[daniph1]

So so so sorry sweetie. I am sending you love and cwtches and anything else which may gove you an ounce of comfort. We r all here for you. lots of love xxx

 

[Sleepy sue]

So sorry Hun, I think you are looking at it in a way that makes it easier to deal with. My friend has just gone through exactly the same thing and that is how she looks at it and I think I would do the same

Take care Hun xxx

 

[Lilelephant]

I am so so sorry hunnie x if u need anything just pm! Look after yourself and eachother! When I read ur post yesterday I was so upset. Stay strong tho lovely lady!

 

[jomc]

Im so sorry hun xxxx

 

[dyscochick]

Oh my goodness kanga I'm so sorry. I'd seen through threads with the bleeding, I hope you and your OH do OK and support each other. Thinking of you xxxx

 

[Spinneygirl]

Sorry this has happened to you, its the worst thing to go through. Take care of yourself xxx

 

[positivity :)]

really sorry hun, this happend to me at 7 weeks, its so shocking! i really hope u and ur OH will be ok xx

 

[Bella2]

I'm so sorry to hear this I had the same thing happen to me last November - empty sac - I was 10 weeks - it's heartbreaking. I know it's a cliche but it does get easier with time. Until then take care and allow yourselves time to grieve x x x

 

[Nurse 26]

so sorry hun. xx

 

[kanga86]

thank u so much ladies for ur kind words, I am taking some time off work with my OH until the scan next week. Not expecting anything to have changed, just waiting to see if anything happens naturally or they will refer me for a d&c next week some time. I don't want to go back to work until it is all over. Not feeling to bad about it today, just want to help my OH because he is hiding his feelings to support me, just don't know what to do? i'm sure it will knock me for six at some point again soon. xx

 

[beanster]

Oh kanga. Sorry to hear your news. That happened to us last year to, same thing, should have been 12 weeks but only showing sac. It's really hard for both of you, just need to be there for each other. Think OH might be coping at the moment by feeling he is supporting you through it - just need to be there for him when it hits him. Love and thoughts to both of you. x

 

[heartbroken]

So sorry hun.. Thinking of you & OH.. Mind yourself xx

 

[Samsgirl]

so sorry hon...i also sadly know what you are going through....take care of each other xx

 

[kedi376]

I'm so so sorry to read this, my thoughts are with you xxxxxx

 

[08Princess]

Dear Kanga,
I'm so sorry for your loss and sadness.
I suffered a missed miscarrage nearly 2 weeks ago and had an ERPC last wednesday.
I know how you feel hun.
Its heartbreaking. Initially I found it so hard to get my head round the thought that my baby had died inside me and now I just want my baby back
I'm glad you have your OH to look after you and you to look after him.
If it works for you to tell yourself there was no baby then thats what you should do.
Personally I need to let my baby go and am gonna release balloons today with a letter attatched.
do whatever you need to to help you cope.
If you wanna talk pls don't hesitate to pm me hun.
Look after yourself.
x x x

 

[Sarah W Baby Belly]

I haven't been on the net since the weekend so missed this thread completely. I am so sorry.

 

[kanga86]

Princess that is such a lovely thing to do, I think if I saw there was a baby there I would be struggling so much more. I feel as though I should be more upset, but I think before I even went for the scan I just knew it wasn't going to be good news. They say u just know these things, so I had already distanced myself from it all. Knowing that the home my belly was making for baby wasn't being used has made it so much easier to deal with.

I just want Tuesday to come around so I can get a d&c done and move on to start again, I really hope this doesn't make me a bad person xx