Terrified of labour

[adele88]

Right thought i would make a thread on labour as i am really really scared of giving birth. I just cant imagine a baby coming out of down there. I am literally terrified am only 21 and cant even stand getting a blood test never mind giving birth. I sometimes think if girls of 16 can do it then i must be able to do it. Think i will defo go for epidural to ease the pain. Whats everyone's thoughts on labour are yous as scared as me or looking forward to it???

 

[megsmeadow]

I am actually quite looking forward to it in a funny sort of way. I'm interested to see how I'll cope but at the moment really trying to stay positive as I think if you fear something you'll enter into a whole different anxiety state when the time comes. Also if you are relaxed and calm then there is more chance baby will come down a bit easier, if you are tense the whole time you are in labour the baby is pushing against taught tense muscles and surely that's going to be harder. I also have a birth plan in mind but it's by no means set in stone, if I need any intervention then I'll make a judgement at the time rather than setting myself up to be really upset if something different happens.
Read all you can, try not to listen to all the scarey stories people have to tell you (they never tell you about the births that go extremely well) and think about ways to help you relax and start learning to relax now so you can use it effectively in labour. Remember, everyone's different, you might get there and manage really well!!

 

[evajo]

I have to say i have enjoyed two of my three labours - the third was longer than expected and i wanted a home birth but ended up in hospital as they were short staffed!!! It knid of threw me and i wasn't much in the zone.
I was positive from the off and like you knew women had been doing it forever and its completely natural. Think positive is my best advice, i've only had gas and air in the later stages as pain relief but i have a good tolerance to pain and knew the outcome was a baby which makes it all the more worth while. Believe me once you've gone through labour and are ready to push you concentrate and get on with it - i have to say i never found the actual giving birth painful, its almost a releif after all the build up, and its something active whereas the actual labour is more about dealing with the pain. You'll be fine - just make sure you have a supportive birthing partner or two - mine OH was so bad last time and previously that i swore i would never have him there again!!!

 

[inky]

The thought of labour isn't scaring me at all, I want to go in all calm, peaceful and try to remain that way (well, for as long as I can before freaking out anyway), my biggest worry is finding that I have to have a section - pushing, panting, screaming, hell, even tearing isn't worrying me, I just don't want to be cut!!

 

[Tasha89]

I was never bothered about labour when we first found out I was expecting, but now i'm 21 weeks I think - It's not far now...!
I have my main fears! But you're in qualified hands. As long as i'm in a building surrounding as MANY medical professionals as possible then i'll be sorted! Haha!
Just think, 1000's of woman put themselves through it again so it cant be THAT bad
Try to think of the end result in apposed to the bit inbetween! Xx

 

[adele88]

thanks everyone i defo feel alot more positive about it now after yous sharing your stories once its nearer the time and i have been to antental classes i will be more clued up on it lol

 

[Tonks]

I loved every minute of labour, and about 20mins afterwards said to the MW that I would do it all again that night. It is such an amazing experience, I can't really put it into words. Seeing your child for the first time is just the best moment of your life. I actually get jealous of women in third tri, because I know that they are going to experience labor soon.

Yes labour is painful but it doesn't have to be a terrifying ordeal. You can be in control of your body.

If you are scared though, I really recommend looking into hypnobirthing.

 

[adele88]

I loved every minute of labour, and about 20mins afterwards said to the MW that I would do it all again that night. It is such an amazing experience, I can't really put it into words. Seeing your child for the first time is just the best moment of your life. I actually get jealous of women in third tri, because I know that they are going to experience labor soon.

Yes labour is painful but it doesn't have to be a terrifying ordeal. You can be in control of your body.

If you are scared though, I really recommend looking into hypnobirthing.

whats hypnobirthing??

 

[Tonks]

Have a google, but basically there is no hypnosis involved it is just being in control of yourself and your breathing and being relaxed at all times through your birth. I never did the classes, but just from reading the materials it was a big help and I felt more relaxed about everything. It explains very well how your body copes with labour, and dispels a lot of fear

Here you go: http://www.hypnobirthing.co.uk/

 

[adele88]

Have a google, but basically there is no hypnosis involved it is just being in control of yourself and your breathing and being relaxed at all times through your birth. I never did the classes, but just from reading the materials it was a big help and I felt more relaxed about everything. It explains very well how your body copes with labour, and dispels a lot of fear

Here you go: http://www.hypnobirthing.co.uk/

thanks you i will check it out

 

[amyjayne77]

I can actually remember Labour with happy memories and am really looking forward to it this time too. At the time I said "never again" but I'm really looking forward to it. There comes a point where you get a slight panic and think"oh god I can't do this" but it really is the most natural thing in the world and your body just takes over. I was lucky 2nd time round and also had a really quick birth. Before hand I was saying I'm gonna do this naturally. Got to the hospital and was begging for pain relief, not really sure of what I was saying but there was no time anyway. I'm so glad as I found out that actually I could cope and the relief and happiness at the end makes you forget all the painful bits.

Hypnobirthing sounds really good if you feel apprehensive.

 

[Rosie's Mummy]

I am really really looking forward to labour this time, I know that my body will cope and I know that by staying as relaxed as I can it will all be fine. I am aiming for a drug free natural birth; if I dont get it then I wont be disappointed (unless I have to have a c-section then I will cry!) but I will know that I did all I could to have a natural birth There is a thread somewhere on here about good books, I recommend that you get one by Ina May Gaskin, her Guide to Childbirth will put you at ease I have no doubt - its brilliant. Good luck and stay positive

 

[PippaJ]

I loved my labour too and were it not for the fact that I had a bad tear due to having a big baby I would've said straight away that I'd do it all again there and then!!

I was terrified too as I don't handle pain very well but you can control it and when you start pushing, even though it's hard work it feels like the most natural thing in the world. Just relax and keeping a sense of humor in the delivery room goes a long way too x

 

[x_MrsE_x]

I must admit i am worried about it, my first labour was terrible and it ended with emergency section, it scared the life out of me so with my 2nd i went for elective c-section, this time round im thinking of a vbac, doing my research and if i can have it the way i want then ill be going ahead with it, but if im told i have to stay strapped to a bed and be monitored, ill think about a section, but really want to know what a normal birth is like!

 

[titch]

The thought of labour isn't scaring me at all, I want to go in all calm, peaceful and try to remain that way (well, for as long as I can before freaking out anyway), my biggest worry is finding that I have to have a section - pushing, panting, screaming, hell, even tearing isn't worrying me, I just don't want to be cut!!

Im the same, REALLY looking forward to haveing a calm and peaceful birth experience, as possilbe. Ive never done it before, but Im sooo petrified of all the intervention, I dont trust the medical profession at all these days, and Ive heard a LOT of people say they had an epidural, which slowed down labour and caused all sorts of problems and frankly, I really dont want to be wired up to every machine imaginable like some robo-woman when Im trying to focus! I dont want to kind of hand over the responsibility to a total stranger who is working with too many other people to look after me properly. I dont trust them! So Id rather remain in control and me and my OH do it with eachother with midwives there to make sure they can tell me if anything is wrong.

I'd strongly recommend you watch some birth videos on youtube, a lot of the american clips and highly medicalised while if you search 'waterbirth' you'll be stunned by how different it can be. The main difference as far as I can see is that more intervention the woman isn ttrusted to get on with it herself whereas with the water birth she is taking the lead. They might be scary to watch at first but you'l feel better for it, stop using your imagination (which will allways focus on worst case scenario) and become well prepared.

Just think how proud of yourself you'll be when you've done it and given life to your own baby

 

[titch]

this was the clip that convinced me I could do this myself and didnt need to give up control, the girl is only 18 and she does so well, you can so easily see that the water is really helping baby to move. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ncranxBo-AI

compared to some of the other videos, some of them have a sheet across so the woman cant see whats going on, that must be so distressing!

 

[scaredmum2be]

omg all that pushing i was out of breath by just watching it hahax

 

[emmaandamyleigh]

i never really thought about labour at all i copletely forgot lol i was too wrapped up in thinking what amy was going to look like and when the day came i wasnt scared just couldnt beilve that a was going to b a mother and buy the time labour came around i was well on my way i was 6 cm but the time she cheked then a few mins later i just felt ready to push then amy was in the world just under 4 hours i was in labour and give birth to her i was really calm during it had gas and air for most of my pains but didnr have it when i was giving birth. i must say without all the problems with midwife and amy had its gotta be the most amazing thing us woman can do!

 

[MrsR]

I am really looking forward to giving birth again! I honestly can't wait! I had a really calm labour with my DD and surprised my mum and sister (they've both given birth and were my birthing partners that time) by being so in control and calm. I didn't have any pain relief first time round-I tried gas and air and it made me sick-and I am hoping for the same this time! The only thing I'm scared of is having a section, I'll be devastated. I also want a home birth this time and I'm looking into hypnobirthing too. So excited about it all! x

 

[Yoshi]

I feel quite matter of fact about it really, it's something that is just going to happen whether I'm scared or not (hopefully!!) I'm just hoping to stay quite focused and in tune with my body rather than panicing and flapping all over the place, that can't help lol!